by Burke, Dez
Flint shakes his head. “To be honest, I don’t have a clue what the fuck the other men were doing there. All I know is that when they left, they took a shitload of equipment and computers out with them.”
“So what about the one guy? Who is he? Do you know? Because you’re acting like you do.”
Flint runs a hand through his hair. It’s a tell that he’s never been able to control. Always a dead giveaway when we were playing cards. Flint could never bluff me.
“Can’t you just drop it and write her off? Why do you need to know every detail? It doesn’t make any difference at this point.”
“It makes a difference to me, and no, I’m not letting this go. Who is he?”
He takes a few steps away from me on the porch.
“Don’t kill the messenger,” he says. “You remember me telling you about the information my contact dug up on her in the beginning? About how she went to juvenile detention to protect an older guy who was hacking with her? Well, he’s the guy. Erik Dolan. They’re back together and he’s with her right now. Her parents had a restraining order against him when it happened, so maybe they’ve secretly always been together. For years.”
And here I was stupidly thinking things couldn’t get any worse.
Like an idiot.
If Flint had kicked me in the stomach, it would have felt better. I honestly thought that nothing else about Lila could shock me and then boom.
One more big fucking surprise.
To find out after all the time we’ve spent together that I never really knew her at all is devastating.
“Give me the damn address,” I say.
“Why? So you can go in there with guns blazing and shoot people up? No way in hell. It’s for your own protection. I can’t let you run off to get yourself into the kind of trouble that even my legal expertise can’t get you out of.”
“Don’t worry. I won’t shoot anyone.”
I’m not sure I believe that any more than he does.
“Oh really?” he says with a doubtful look. “How would you feel if you burst in there and see Lila in bed with another man?”
My gut tightens another notch. Flint isn’t helping. The thought of Lila being with another man is killing me.
“You’re about a quarter inch from a murderous rage,” Flint continues. “It’s written all over your face. You’re mad as hell, and I don’t blame you. And you have every intention of doing him bodily harm the first chance you get. Don’t bother denying it.”
“I need to talk to Lila. Not him. I don’t give a shit about the guy. Lila and I have unfinished business that has to be dealt with. One way or the other, I’ll find her.”
“For the last time, I’m not giving it to you,” he says. “Jesse is rounding up a couple of the guys now. We’re going to ride down to Atlanta this afternoon and pay her a visit. Without you.”
Fear catches in my throat. If Jesse is planning on paying her a visit, it might not end well.
“What are you planning to do?” I ask.
“Use our persuasive skills to make her see our point of view,” he says with a shrug. “You know how this works. Threaten her and if that doesn’t work, threaten someone she loves. Everyone has a weakness that can be exploited if they care about someone else. In Lila’s case, the Achilles heel is her parents.”
The parents who had a child late in life. Who were hopeless when it came to controlling a wild, unruly Lila. The parents who are now getting older and are the only close family she has.
“Lila is smart enough to know that she can’t protect her parents twenty-four hours a day. She’ll come around to our way of thinking.”
“And if she doesn’t?”
“Do I need to spell it out for you?” he asks.
No, I don’t want to hear it.
I’m starting to panic now. The situation is spiraling out of control and I don’t know how to rein it back in. I have to talk to Lila.
Just one more time.
That’s all I need.
“At least give me a head start,” I say. “Two hours is all I’m asking for. Give me one last chance to turn this around. What can it hurt at this point? You don’t understand what Lila and I have. It is fucking real. Just like you and Kendra. We ran out of time. And she got scared. That’s all.”
Flint starts to deny it, then stops when he sees how serious I am.
“Jesse would never agree to it,” he says. “The plan has already been made. It’s not my place to change it. Jesse has the last word as President. You should be talking to him, not me.”
“I’m asking you to do this brother to brother. For me. Please, just give me her address. You know as well as I do what Jesse is capable of.”
“The answer is still no,” he says in a firm voice.
Now I’m getting pissed at him. We’re wasting time arguing when I could be on my way to Atlanta. I know the info is on his phone. If I have to, I’ll take it from him by force. We’re about the same size, but I’m a hell of a lot stronger and more motivated.
Shit!
He knows exactly what I’m thinking. I see him grip his phone tighter in his pocket.
“Damn it, Flint! You fucking owe me. I’ve never brought this up before, but you know what I’m talking about. You owe me and now I’m calling in the chip.”
Flint’s face looks stunned.
My words were a below-the-belt hit. I would have never brought it up if I wasn’t so fucking desperate.
“I was just a kid and you ran off to chase your own dreams. You left me behind to deal with an alcoholic father who beat the shit out of me almost every single day. I didn’t have anywhere else to go, and it wasn’t like you didn’t know what was going on. You left and turned your back on all of us for years.”
He moves toward me. “Sam...” he starts to say.
“Save your fucking apology. Jesse was a brother to me. You weren’t. If you do this for me, the slate will be clean. I’ll never bring it up again. We’ll be even. I swear. Please. I’m asking you to do this for me.”
He looks at me a long moment.
“Jesse is going to give me hell for this,” he says.
He walks inside the house and over to a table. After checking his phone, he scribbles down the address on a scrap piece of paper. He gives me the address and holds out his hand.
“Are we really good now? Because you’ve been mad at me for a very long time. And you’re right about everything. All I can say is that I’m sincerely sorry. If I could do it over, I would have made different choices. I wasn’t much more than a kid myself, but it doesn’t excuse leaving you alone in that situation. I’ve thought about it so many times.”
I look down at the address in my hand. For the first time since Lila left, I feel hopeful. Now I finally have an opportunity to fix this fucking disaster.
“Yeah, we’re good now,” I say, reaching out my hand to shake his. He grabs it and instead pulls me close for a quick hug.
“I love you, bro,” he says, clapping me on the back. “Don’t make me regret this. You have a two-hour head start. I’ll stall Jesse to give you time to get there. If you can work something out so that we don’t need to come along behind you, call me.”
I slide the paper into my back pocket.
“You won’t need to make the trip. I promise you. I’ve got this.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
Lila
I reach my turn around spot at the two-mile mark and stop running. Bending over at the waist, I try to catch my breath for the run back. The unbearably hot summer temperature and humidity are oppressive. I’m feeling queasy and wish I had started the run earlier in the day.
Then again, I find myself wishing for a lot of things.
Mostly I wish I was back in North Georgia sitting on the deck overlooking the lake with Sam. What I wouldn’t give for just one more summer evening doing exactly that.
How I miss him.
I miss his constant stream of jokes and his devilish smile.
I miss hearing his laughter ring out loud and often.
And I miss the feel of his warm body curled up against my back in the middle of the night.
Sam Mason never leaves my mind for long. He’s all I think about.
I stretch my leg muscles and start to head back when my cell phone beeps in my pocket signaling a text message. I pull it out to check. When I see the message from my security system app, my heart drops.
Motion detected by the security camera.
Someone is inside my house. It can’t be Erik or his team because they’re finished, and he would never go into my place without permission. I quickly touch the app to bring up the camera’s view of my living room.
Oh no.
It’s Sam.
He’s walking around my living room, peeking into the boxes of evidence and looking at photos that I secretly took of him.
What the hell is he doing there?
Questions fly through my mind. How did he get in? And how did he find my address? At this point, it doesn’t matter. He’s inside now and surrounded by evidence of my betrayal.
I can’t bear to watch him any longer.
Instead I turn around and start running back as fast as I can. Two miles will take me at least fifteen to twenty minutes based on how many times I have to dodge cars and wait for lights to change at crosswalks.
Twenty minutes is more than enough time for him to go through the boxes of photos and tapes. For Sam to find out about me this way is my worse nightmare.
My heart is racing so fast that I can barely breathe. Sam will never forgive me now, and I will never get a chance to make things right. I can’t imagine what terrible things must be going through his head. To find out I’m an undercover ATF agent will be devastating to him. To know that I lied and even slept with him while gathering evidence to use against the Steel Infidels will be too much.
He is going to hate me, and he should.
I hate myself for letting things go this far.
I could have put an end to Operation Thunderclap sooner, but I didn’t because I was selfish. I wanted more time with Sam. So I let the operation continue when I should have been back here fighting like hell to fix things for him. Now we’ve all run out of time.
I’ve screwed up everything.
The two-mile run back to my rental house is a killer. By the time I reach the entrance to my street, I’m panting and gasping for breath. I lean against the side of a stop sign and check my phone one last time to make sure he’s still in the house.
The app brings up a blank error screen. He’s obviously spotted the camera and unplugged it. There’s no point in stalling outside. I need to get this over with.
I hurry up the front porch steps, reach for the doorknob, and step inside.
Sam is sitting in a chair facing the door with his gun pointed straight at me.
Shit!
This was a scenario that I never imagined in a million years. Instinct and training kick in. I turn and make a run for the bedroom where I keep a pistol in the bedside stand.
Sam lunges after me and body slams me into the wall. Grabbing my arms, he pins them high above my head.
“Don’t even think about going for your gun,” he says. “I’ve already found it.”
His body squeezes me tightly against the wall. I can’t move an inch or see where he put his gun.
“Sam,” I whisper. “Listen to me. You don’t have to do this.”
“What is it you think I’m going to do?” he asks, his breath fanning my ear. “This?”
He wraps his left hand around both of my wrists and slides his right hand up my stomach, stopping right below my breasts.
“I can feel your heartbeat racing underneath my hand,” he whispers, sending chills through my body.
I’m trying to catch my breath from my run and I gasp when his warm hand slips under my sports bra and tugs at my nipple.
“Lila,” he murmurs slowly into my neck, breathing my name like a caress. “Why did you leave me?”
I close my eyes and lean back against him. How can I ever explain in a way that he’ll understand? What can I possibly say at this point?
“I’ve been going crazy trying to find you,” he says while kissing the side of my neck and nuzzling my ear. “I haven’t slept. I can’t eat. All I could think about was finding you. And now that I’ve found you, I can’t think straight. My brain is fried. I know who you are, Delilah.”
No.
My heart sinks.
He slides his hand down my stomach and underneath the waistband of my running shorts. I let out a moan as he moves lower between my legs and cups my mound.
“God help me, no matter how hard I try, I can’t resist you,” he says. “Even now, after everything you’ve done to me. I want you as much as ever.”
He rubs my clit in a circular motion and then sliding his hand further down, slowly pushes a single long finger inside my pussy. All the way up to his knuckle. I cry out and clench tightly around his finger.
“Fuck!” he mutters into my ear, sending shivers down my spine. “You are so wet and tight. Even now, you’re melting for me. Just like all the other times.”
He’s right.
One touch from him and I’m a quivering mess.
Every single time.
No one has ever made me feel the way he can. To say I want him is a massive understatement. I hunger for him with everything that I am.
“I want to hate you so much,” he says, his voice hoarse with emotion. “Why can’t I hate you? Instead, all I want to do is sink my cock deep into your pussy and stay there forever. I can’t stop wanting you.”
I moan when he slides a second finger into my snug slickness. He fingers me slowly, his labored breath harsh in my ear. His body is tense and full of anger, yet he still physically wants me. Even after everything.
There might be a tiny sliver of hope.
I desperately clutch onto that hope and pray that I’m right.
Sam deserves to know how I feel. I have to tell him.
He suddenly removes his hand and I murmur in protest.
“If I turn your hands loose, are you going to run?” he asks huskily.
Run?
I shake my head, not trusting myself to speak.
He drops my wrists and slides his hands down my sides, pulling my ass tight against the hard erection straining against his jeans. I brace myself against the wall with my arms, not knowing what is going through his mind or what he is going to do next.
Whatever it is, I’m not stopping him.
“Do you know what I’ve been doing?” he asks. “Begging for your life. I begged and pleaded with my brothers to keep you alive and breathing because I can’t bear the thought of a life without you in it. And now I need to hear you beg for me. I need to hear you say that you want me as much as I need you.”
The sting of betrayal is raw in his voice.
My heart is breaking for him and for me.
If he only knew what I am willing to do for him.
“Tell me that I didn’t imagine what we had together,” he says. “I know you felt it too.”
He grabs my shorts and slides them down to my ankles along with my panties. I quickly step out of them. Grabbing the bottom of my shirt, he rips it off over my head along with my sports bra.
Suddenly I’m deeply afraid that I’ve misread his actions.
“Is this a hate fuck?” I whisper, terrified to hear his answer.
“God no,” he says, kissing a line down my neck and along my shoulder. “Never.” He wraps his hand around my hair and pulls my head to the side so he can nibble on my ear.
I let out the shaky breath I’d been holding.
“Lean over,” he says, putting his hand on the small of my back and positioning me lower.
He nudges my feet wider apart with his boots so that I’m spread wide, entirely his for the taking. I’m panting in anticipation and so weak with need that I can barely stand up. His hand rubs my ass and slowly lingers to tra
ce the outline of the infinity tattoo with our names.
“Are you mine, Lila?” he asks.
“Yes,” I answer honestly. “All yours.”
“Then beg for me. Make me believe it.”
He spreads apart my cheeks with both hands and plunges two fingers back into my soaking wet pussy.
Oh God.
I close my eyes and lean against the wall as he finger fucks me slowly. I shudder, feeling him stroke deeply in and out. His other hand reaches around and grasps my breast in his hand, kneading and tweaking my nipple in unmistakable entitlement. He’s touching me like he owns me, and I love it. I nudge my ass back against him until his breath catches in a hiss. He’s burning for me as hotly as ever before, maybe even more.
There’s nothing more that I want at this moment than to feel him inside me, stretching my pussy walls and filling me up with his hardness.
I need him.
I’m not too proud to beg for Sam.
Ever.
Not if he needs to hear it, and I know he does.
Especially after everything I’ve put him through.
“Please, Sam,” I plead. “I need you inside me. Now.”
I don’t need to ask him twice. He quickly unbuckles his belt, unzips his pants, and pulls out his cock. I feel him rubbing the tip along the rim of my pussy lips, teasing and tormenting me.
“Do you want me?” he asks.
“I’ve always wanted you, Sam.”
With a loud groan, he penetrates me completely and slides all the way in. We both gasp out loud at the sensation. His arm wraps around me, bracing me up.
I’m waiting for him to start moving, and yet he’s holding perfectly still.
“You take my breath away every single time,” he says hoarsely. “Every fucking time. When I slide into your pussy, it feels like heaven wrapped around me.”
I feel the anger slowly dissipating and his body relaxing. It’s all about us now. Not the ATF. Not the MC.
Just us.
The way it was always meant to be.
Sam draws out slightly then pushes in again, deep and hard, stretching me to the limit. I close my eyes, unable to do anything other than gasp with each thrust. He moves now with long, slow, powerful strokes, filling me completely, claiming me as his own.