"What are you going to be?"
"I don't know yet." I lean over and give her a kiss. "Unlike some people, I haven't planned out my whole life. I'm only 20. I have no idea what I'll be doing years from now."
"And that doesn't bother you?"
"Not at all. It would bother me to have a plan."
"But a plan gives you direction. If you don't have direction, you're just floundering, wondering what to do next."
"I'm not floundering. I'm finding myself. Discovering what I like and what I don't like. If you're locked into a plan, you'll never give herself the option to find out what you really want in life. You're trapped, going down a road that may not be right for you. And if you veer off the plan, you risk feeling like a failure."
I'm saying all this for Willow's benefit because I know this path she's headed down isn't right for her, and from some of the things she's said, I think she's starting to realize that. She just refuses to accept it. Once she sets her mind on something, she's so determined to see it through to completion that she has a hard time stepping back and figuring out if she really wants to keep doing it.
Willow's quiet, lost in her thoughts, so I leave her alone and gaze up at the sky. Now the stars look like a house with people around it. The four big stars form the house and the smaller stars look like a family; parents and a couple kids. I wonder why I'm seeing that. Is it because I'm thinking about marrying Willow? Having kids with her? I've never even thought about kids. That's so far into the future that my mind doesn't even go there. I close my eyes and open them and see the truck again, with Willow and me inside it.
"I still think you should be an artist," she says, flipping on her back to look up at the sky. "Maybe a graphic designer."
"Huh. That's not a bad idea, actually. Maybe I'll forget business and go into graphic design."
"Really? I changed your mind just like that?"
"Maybe. I'm definitely going to look into it." I look at her. "You see what happens when you're not stuck following a plan? You can change your mind whenever you want. Try different things. If you don't like something, you can do something else."
"I wish I could do that."
"You can do that. You can do whatever you want."
She turns on her side and snuggles up against me. "I need a quick nap."
"We've barely slept. We should take more than a quick nap."
"Goodnight." She kisses me, then lays her head on my chest and we fall asleep.
I wake up to drops of rain falling on my face. I open my eyes and see dark clouds above us.
"Willow, get up." I kiss her head, which is in the crook of my arm.
She rubs her eyes. "Silas, you're spitting when you talk."
"I'm not spitting. It's raindrops. We need to get in the truck. It's going to start pouring any minute."
She looks up. "Those clouds are really dark."
"Yeah, let's go." I kick the blankets off us.
"Wait." She grabs my arm.
"What?"
"Let's do it."
"Do what?"
"Let's have sex."
"In the rain?"
She smiles really wide. "I've always wanted to do it in the rain. Is that crazy?"
"Who the hell cares? Crazy is good."
The rain's getting heavier but it's a warm, steady rain.
Willow sits up on her knees and stretches her arms out, letting the rain wash over her bare skin. I can't take my eyes off her. This might be the sexiest thing I've ever seen. Water droplets trickle down her breasts, her head tipped back toward the sky, her lips soaking wet.
I grip her wet hair, pull her toward me, and smash my mouth against hers. She shoves the blankets aside and lowers herself onto my lap, grinding into me. The rain is pelting us, soaking us, and it's sexy as hell. Willow's arms loop around my neck and I feel her hips rise slightly, then lower again as she sinks down on me.
My arms are wrapped around her as she moves, her hips gyrating. I never thought of doing it in the rain but this was an awesome idea. And I love that Willow suggested it. It shows she can be spontaneous and free-willed and go with whatever life gives her, in this case a total downpour. If she could just let that part of her come out more often, I think there would be a real chance for us.
Willow is gasping for breath, her thighs pressed against my sides, riding me, fast and furious, until she's yelling my name, grasping my shoulders, her body trembling as she comes. She collapses onto my chest, completely out of breath. I flip her over and finish myself off with a few final thrusts. I remain over her, protecting her from the rain but it's no use. We're both completely soaked.
Willow starts laughing.
"What's so funny?" I ask, kissing her forehead.
"Nothing. I'm just happy. That was best thing I've ever done, but I can't believe I did it."
"Why not?"
"Because it's crazy."
"You need to be more crazy. Crazy is so much better than not-crazy."
She laughs again. "Maybe you're right. Maybe I need to be more crazy."
"If you hang out with me, I'm sure that'll happen. I seem to have that affect on you. First the navel ring and now sex in the rain."
"The navel ring was because I was jealous of your hairdresser and her erotic shampooing."
"Willow, there was nothing erotic about her doing my hair."
"She had her breasts in your face the entire time."
"And yet the only breasts I was thinking about were yours. So is that really why you got the navel ring? Because you were jealous?"
"No. I've actually always wanted one. Your hairdresser just prompted me to do it. So yeah, it's all your fault. You make me do crazy things." She leans up and kisses me, then shivers as a gust of wind blows.
"Let's get in the truck. I have a beach towel in there. You can dry off."
"What am I going to wear?" She looks at our pile of wet clothes.
"Either wet clothes or the towel. Your choice."
"I'll take the towel."
"The truck's open so go ahead. Do you need help getting down?"
"Nope. I got it." She hops over the side of the truck. Just a few weeks ago she couldn't even step up into the front seat.
I put my soggy jeans on and slip on my shoes and meet her in the truck.
"Look at us." She's still laughing. I love seeing her laugh. And seeing her happy.
"You look a lot better than I do." I start the truck and turn the heater on.
"I think you're sexy all wet like that." She bites her lip.
"Seriously, Willow? We've done it like ten times."
She forces her smile into a straight face. "You're right. We need to stop."
I lean across the seat and kiss her. "I'm kidding. You know I'd do it again but I need to get you home. I don't want you getting sick."
"You can't get sick from rain, can you? I thought that was a myth."
"I don't know, but I'm not taking any chances. And I need to feed you. We'll dry off and then I'll take you for breakfast. What time is it?"
She checks her phone. "Ten-thirty."
"Really? It's so dark out I thought it was earlier than that."
"I hope my parents aren't home."
"What time were they supposed to be there?"
"Not until noon. We should be good."
When we get to her house, their car isn't in the driveway so they must still be gone. They rarely park in the garage.
We go in her house, my shoes sloshing around and my wet jeans feeling like lead weights. Willow's still wrapped in only a beach towel, her bare feet leaving footprints on the tile.
"Willow, is that you?" Her mom appears, followed by her dad.
Shit. So I guess they parked in the garage this time.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Willow
How am I going to explain this to my parents? They don't even know Silas and I are back together.
"Why are you guys back so early?" I ask, ignoring the fact that I'm standing here soaking
wet, wearing nothing but a beach towel.
"We wanted to get some work done on the farm," my mom says. "We didn't realize it was going to rain but it looks like it's clearing up."
"We were just there," Silas says. "At the farm."
What is he doing? He can't tell them what we did. Even though we're adults and my parents wouldn't care, I still don't want them knowing I spent all night having sex in the back of a truck on the farm.
Did I really do that? It's so unlike me. And yet it was the best night of my life.
"Why were you at the farm?" my dad asks.
"Willow and I were going to pick berries but then it started to rain. We were out in the fields and couldn't get back to the truck in time and ended up getting soaked."
"Luckily he had a towel in his truck," I say.
My parents eye us suspiciously.
"Willow, why don't you go get dressed?" my mom says.
"I will."
"I'll head back to my house," Silas says. "Just call me, Willow, if you want to meet up later."
"We have to work on that logo, remember?"
"Yeah, that's right. Text me when you're ready."
"Okay, bye."
"Bye." He gives me a quick kiss goodbye. "Shit," he whispers as he backs away.
I freeze and glance up at my parents. They're both staring at us, their lips turning up.
"Is there something you'd like to tell us?" my mom asks, putting her hands on her hips.
"Um, yeah." I glance at Silas. "Silas and I are dating again. We got back together last night." I quickly put my hand up, my other hand holding onto my towel. "I mean, not like we literally got together, but we had a long talk and..." My voice trails off. It's no use trying to hide it. They know what Silas and I were doing last night.
Silas backs away toward the door. "I need to change clothes so I'll see you guys later."
"I'm sure you will," my dad says, a smug grin on his face.
As soon as Silas is gone, my mom turns to my dad and says, "Well, you win."
"I told you." He puts his arm around her. "But I thought it would take longer. What's it been? A couple weeks?"
"That sounds about right." My mom smiles at me.
"What are you guys talking about?"
"You and Silas. Your father and I had a bet going to see if you two would get back together this summer."
"I bet that you would," my dad says, "but your mother didn't believe me. She said you were too stubborn to get back with Silas." He kisses my mom. "But even stubborn people can't fight the heart. It knows what it wants."
My mom smiles and kisses him back and then he kisses her again and it's like they forgot I was here.
I wave my hand in front of them. "Okay, do that some other time. So did you really have a bet going?"
"Yes," my dad says. "And since I won, your mother is taking me to the concert I wanted to go to."
"Folk singers," she says, rolling her eyes. "My least favorite type of music."
"What if you'd won the bet?" I ask her.
"Your father would've had to clean the garage."
Our garage is a disorganized mess. I can't even go in there. It's too much chaos.
"Silas' parents also had a bet going," my dad says. "But I'm not sure what they bet."
"Diane has to take Martin to a steakhouse," my mom says.
My dad laughs. "Diane will love that."
"What are you saying?" I ask. "Martin won? He thought Silas and I would get back together but Diane didn't?"
My mom motions to my towel. "Honey, go put some clothes on. You must be freezing."
"Why did Diane bet against us?"
"Because you're stubborn," my dad says as he walks to the living room. "Just like your old man."
"But you just said stubborn people cave when they're in love, so why did Diane—" I stop, noticing the big smile on my mom's face as I replay what I just said.
"You're in love with Silas?" my mom asks.
"And you're admitting it?" my dad yells from the living room. "It's about time."
My mom hugs me. "Honey, I'm so happy for you!"
This is embarrassing, and yet part of me wanted to tell them. Part of me wants to shout to the world that I love Silas.
"I need to shower," I say.
"Go ahead." She lets me go, still smiling.
I go down the hall to my room and realize I'm smiling too. It feels good to be back with Silas. I never thought it'd happen but it did, and maybe there's a reason for that. Maybe we're meant to be together despite whatever the future holds.
I take a quick shower, then call Silas.
"Did you know our parents placed bets on us?" I ask.
"What are you talking about?"
"Our parents bet whether we'd get back together and only my dad and Martin thought we would."
"That doesn't surprise me."
"It doesn't surprise you that our moms didn't think we'd get back together?"
"They know how stubborn you are."
"Why does everyone keep saying that? I am not stubborn."
He laughs. "Yeah, okay."
"Fine. Whatever. But our moms still shouldn't have bet against us."
"So what did Martin win?"
"Your mom has to take him to a steakhouse."
"Now it makes sense. I heard him making the reservation and thought it was some kind of joke. But I guess they're really going." I hear water running in the background.
"What are you doing?"
"Shaving."
"Why are you shaving?"
"I'm trying to look presentable for your parents. Now that they know I'm dating their daughter, they'll be keeping a closer eye on me."
"Silas, they've known you forever. You don't have to try to impress them."
"I still needed to shave." I hear the water shut off. "So what time should I come over?"
"Just come over now. You can have lunch with us."
"Why don't you guys come over here? My mom's making her vegetable lasagna."
"But she didn't invite us."
"She won't care. Just head down here. It should be ready soon."
"You have to ask her. We're not just coming over."
"Hold on." I hear him walk to the door and yell something to his mom. "Okay, we're good. She said to come on over. She said she wants to hang out with her future in-laws."
I laugh. "I don't know why she thinks they're her future in-laws when she bet against us."
"Just get over here. See ya soon."
I finish getting ready, then go find my parents. They're in their home office with a stack of papers in front of them.
"Hey, Diane invited us over for lunch."
"That was nice of her." My mom reaches over and closes the drawer on the file cabinet.
"Why do you guys keep locking that? I was trying to get in there last week and I couldn't find the key."
"Willow, I told you I don't want you making those spreadsheets." My dad stuffs some papers in a folder and hands it to my mom. "We don't need them."
"I don't have time now anyway. I've decided to focus on our marketing instead. Silas is going to make us a new logo. The old one is too dated, and truthfully, it's not even a logo. It's just our name in an ugly font."
My parents look at each other, not saying anything.
"Is something wrong?" I ask.
"No." My mom smiles. "So when will the logo be done?"
"I was hoping to have it done for the vendor fair this week but I don't think it'll be ready by then. I'll talk to Silas about it after lunch. We should head down there."
"You two go ahead," my dad says. "I'll be there in a few minutes." He waits for us to leave, and when I turn back I see him locking up the file cabinet again.
We have lunch at Silas' house like one big happy family. Our families have been friends forever. My parents are over here all the time, but this is the first time since I've been back that we've all been here together. As usual, Diane and my mom take off after lunch to go talk a
nd make jewelry in Diane's craft room. And Martin and my dad go outside and have a beer. Martin brews his own beer and he's always using my dad as his taste tester.
Silas and I go to the kitchen table and get to work on a logo. He already has a million ideas, so now we just have to figure out which ones we like best and then he'll draw them out. He's good at drawing. And painting. Sculpting. Making jewelry. He really needs to be a graphic designer. Just watching him now, seeing how much he's getting into this logo design, it's clear this is a career he needs to look into. I wish I had that same passion for my future career. I keep thinking I will once I get a job.
I stay at Silas' house for the afternoon and my parents do too. We're there so long that Diane invites us to stay for dinner. Afterward, Silas and I show my parents some of Silas' rough sketches for logos. They're really impressed with his work. They like all his designs but they pick their two favorites for Silas to keep working on. Hopefully one of them will be our new logo.
The next day, I go to the farm to pick strawberries. They're ripening all at once so I'll be coming here every day, except for the day I'm at the vendor fair. I've decided I'm going to bring strawberries to the booth. It doesn't go with the lotion and soap theme, but who doesn't love fresh strawberries? I'm sure someone will buy them.
"I just had a great idea," I say to Silas as we're having lunch at one of the picnic tables.
"Let me guess." He leans over and kisses me. "You want to skip lunch and sneak off to my truck for a quickie?"
I laugh. "No. My idea is to match the soaps and lotions with what we grow on the farm. Like cucumber lotion or strawberry or mint."
"Can you put those things in a lotion without it going bad?"
"I'm not sure. I'd have to research it. Maybe it's not a lotion. Maybe it's a facial mask and you sell it in a single-size portion you use right away so it doesn't go bad. Dried herbs won't go bad so you could definitely make products with those, like mint or rosemary, which we already grow. We could plant a bigger variety of herbs to use in our soaps. The point is that we're connecting the farm to other products besides food. Adding beauty products creates a whole new source of income."
"Maybe you could use flowers too. I've got that whole section of the farm planted with flowers."
"Or," I set my sandwich down, "we could dry the flowers, glue them on card stock and make greeting cards. We'd leave them blank so people could write their own message." My head is spinning as ideas keep sparking in my head. "We need to start making this stuff and selling it at the farmers' market."
Still Love You Page 20