by Cruise, Anna
He swung hard and knocked the keys from my hand, sending them to the sand. Before I could move to them, he stepped in front, blocking my path.
“And you'll what?” he said, his voice low, angry. “That was a fucking mistake.”
He reached for me again, but I slapped at his hands and turned to run. I took two steps, but then his leg swept across my feet and I fell to the sand. He came down to next to me, throwing his leg over me, pulling me into him. He smelled like sweat and body odor and I felt the bile rise up in my throat.
“See?” he said through gritted teeth. “Now it just looks like we're hanging out here on the beach, baby.”
I tried to wiggle against him, but his arms were like chains around me. He had my face against his chest and I tried to yell, but my voice was muffled.
“We're gonna have a little fun, baby,” he whispered, squeezing his arms tighter around me. “You'll like it, I promise.”
I tried to yell again, but he was squeezing me so tight, I couldn't make a sound. I kicked at his legs, but he just threw his leg over both of mine again, pinning them to the sand. To anyone in the distance, we probably looked like a couple hugging in the sand.
But I knew better.
And for the first time, I was afraid.
I needed to be calm and think.
I forced my body to relax and stop struggling. And like I'd hoped, he relaxed, too.
“Yeah, baby,” he whispered. “There you go. Let's just have a good time now.”
He moved his mouth near my ear, licked it with his tongue. One of the arms around me shifted and his hand squeezed my ass. I felt the bulge growing in his shorts, pressing into my thigh. He grunted and thrust into me, his dick wedging into the soft space between my thighs.
Jesus, no. I closed my eyes, blinking back tears. I lay as limp as a rag doll as his hand shifted to my breast. He squeezed it so hard I winced.
I shifted slightly but not enough to make him think I was trying to get away. I put my hand on his shoulder and forced myself to caress him lightly, He groaned again and tugged on my shorts. I lifted my head a little and saw his shoulder in front of me. The one with the lightning bolt.
I didn't think anymore, I just reacted. I jerked my head forward and bit down on that lightning bolt, the taste of salt and blood blossoming on my tongue. He yelled and pulled back and I brought my knee up as hard as I could between his legs.
He lifted off of me and pushed at my face, trying to detach my mouth from his shoulder. “Fucking bitch!”
I rolled away from him and tried to get to my feet, but he brought his arm across the back of my legs and I went down into the sand again. His hand wrapped around my ankle. I tried to kick free, but his grip was too strong and he was pulling me back to him. He was back on top of me before I could do anything.
“You fucking little bitch,” he said, pinning my arms to the sand and sliding over me, all of his body weight pressing me down. “Not cool.” He grinned down at me. “Now I'm gonna take my time.”
He pushed his hips into mine and I felt a fresh surge of panic. He was bigger than me. Stronger than me. And he was pissed.
He hovered over me, one hand tugging on my shorts, the other one holding both of my arms above my head. The ugly smile was plastered to his face. “Relax. You're gonna like...”
A foot crashed into his mouth and he reeled backwards, landing on his back at my feet. A body flashed over me and landed on his. I scrambled up on my hands and knees, my chest heaving.
Kellen.
Standing over him, dropping his fist repeatedly into Branagan's face. Branagan's body wiggled at first beneath him, then stopped moving.
“Kellen” I gasped. “Stop.”
He didn't, his fist going up and down like a piston.
I pushed myself to my feet, dizziness swirling around me. I crashed into Kellen but he didn't move, his fist still going to work.
“Stop!” I yelled at him, grabbing him around the neck. “Please! Stop!”
Kellen's entire body was shaking, his eyes wild, but he looked at me and they slowly focused. He stopped swinging. Branagan's face was an abstract painting of blood and sand, his eyes unfocused.
He pushed off of Branagan's body and stood up. “Asshole.”
He reached for me and pulled me into his arms. I collapsed with relief against him. “Are you alright?”
I nodded. “Yes. No. I don't know.” I took mouthfuls of air, trying to slow my racing pulse. “I think so.”
His hands roved over me but not in a sexual way. Like he was inspecting me, making sure I was okay. “Did that asshole hurt you?”
“No.”
His finger touched my mouth and he wiped my lips, my chin. He wiped the blood on his shirt. “Can't say the same for him.”
I almost smiled.
“The damage I did to his face?” Kellen glanced at Branagan, who was still crumpled on the ground. “Purely superficial. That number you did on his arm? He'll have that scar for life.”
I felt a surge of satisfaction hearing that. I was glad I'd hurt him. And I was glad—beyond glad—that Kellen had shown up.
“Hey,” I said, my voice sharp. “What are you doing here?”
It couldn't have been coincidence. Could it? But I hadn't told him the details and he hadn't asked.
“Just had a feeling you might be here. Today.”
I stared at him. How did he know? What did he know? The questions were on the tip of my tongue but I didn't ask them.
Because it didn't matter.
All that mattered was that he'd shown up.
Kellen spoke. “Tell me what you want to do.”
I looked at him. “What?”
He motioned toward Branagan. “Want me to call the cops?” He held up his cell phone.
I thought for a minute. I didn't want him to walk away but I also didn't want the spotlight again. I didn't want to bring charges, didn't want to testify. I'd lived through all of that and even though the situation was different, I just wanted to put as much distance as I could between myself and what had just happened on the beach.
“Leave him. He won't do anything.”
Kellen raised an eyebrow. “You don't wanna call the cops?”
I grabbed Kellen's hand and pulled him back toward the boardwalk. “No. I just want to leave.”
FORTY ONE
When I'd gotten to the beach, I'd parked my car and headed straight for the sand. I didn't really see anyone on the beach.
Maybe I'd been wrong. Maybe Gina hadn't gone back to where Luke had died. Maybe my instincts had been all wrong.
But then I recognized her shoes, sitting on the wall that separated the boardwalk from the beach.
And then I saw movement on the sand. A couple. Embracing.
But something was wrong.
I recognized Branagan immediately.
And then I saw Gina's face, her terror visible as she tried to kick free of him.
I didn't think, just reacted. I was pretty sure I'd never run that fast before.
She was still shaking as we walked to my car. I grabbed her shoes from the wall and held the door open for her. I closed it behind her and went around to the driver's side.
I closed the door, turned on the car and the air conditioning hummed quietly.
“Do you want to tell me what happened?” I asked quietly.
Her head was back against the seat, her eyes closed. “I came down here. Today. I walked down on the sand. I turned around. And he was just...there.” She shook her head slowly. “Said his dad owns a place down here. Surfs down here. Bad coincidence.”
I nodded. “You sure he didn't hurt you?”
She shook her head. “Scared me more than anything.”
I stared through the windshield, waiting for Branagan to get up. Just so I could get out of the car and knock his ass down again. If Gina hadn't pushed me off of him, I would've still been on top of him.
“I'm sorry,” I said, my voice tight.
“For showi
ng up and kicking the shit out of him?” she asked. “I'm not. At all.”
“No. I'm sorry I didn't get here sooner,” I said.
“Couldn't have known.” She paused for a moment. “Why were you here anyway?”
I hesitated. I didn't want to dump the truth on her, not with what she'd just gone through, but I didn't want to flat-out lie, either. “Came down to check out the waves.”
It was true. I had looked at the surf report, had noticed that the waves were breaking better south of my house.
“All the way down here?”
I shrugged. I felt her eyes on me, but I didn't know what she was thinking.
“You're lying,” she said.
“No. I'm not.” I turned the key in the ignition. “It might not be the only reason but it's one of them.”
“What are the others?”
I took a deep breath. “I know, Gina.”
FORTY TWO
She didn't say anything.
“Did you hear me?” I asked, tearing my eyes from the road to glance at her.
She stared out the window. “I heard you.”
“I'm not Luke, Gina,” I said. “I'm not him.”
“I know,” she said quietly.
“Do you? Really?”
She shrugged.
“Gina. Talk to me.”
She leaned her head against the door window. I wasn't sure she was going to talk. I didn't know if she was still shaken up by what happened on the beach, if she just didn't want to acknowledge Luke's death or a little of both.
“I don't want to go home,” she said.
“What?”
“I don't want to go home. Will you—can you take me to your place? Just for a little bit?”
I hooked a sharp right so we could hop on the onramp for the freeway. “Of course.”
We drove the half hour to San Clemente in silence. I stole glances at her as I drove but she just hugged the door, her eyes unfocused as she stared out the door.
“You hungry or anything?” I asked as we exited the freeway.
She shook her head.
We pulled up to my house and I killed the engine. She opened the car door, leaving her keys on the floor of the car. I jogged to the front door to get it unlocked and held it open for her. She hesitated for just a minute before crossing the threshold, then took a deep breath and stepped in.
She sat down on the couch.
“You want something to drink? Water? Something stronger?” All I had were a couple of bottles of beer from the night she'd last been there. For some reason, I hadn't been able to drink them.
“No.”
I took a seat next to her, close but not touching. She looked as fragile as a butterfly and I just wanted to reach out and touch her, hold her in my arms. I folded my hands together so I wouldn't be tempted.
“I know you're not him,” she finally said.
“You don't have to talk about it.”
“I know,” she said. “But I want to. I think I need to.” She smiled a little. “And I promised. I don't make promises I can't keep.”
“Okay.”
“So I'm just gonna start at the beginning. Tell you everything. So you know.” She took a deep breath, like she was steeling herself for some difficult task.
I waited.
She cleared her throat. “Luke was my boyfriend. Ever since high school. Junior year, actually. Everyone assumed we'd get married some day. He wanted to get married on the beach so we could surf after.
“He worked as a lifeguard and he loved to stay after his shift was over to help tourists learn to get up.” She shook my head. “I always told him he needed to open a surf school. He loved to teach people and loved it when they got that thrill of getting up the first time. I mean, he loved it.”
I listened. He sounded like a good guy. “That's really cool.”
She nodded. “It was. He just thought everyone should get to experience the ocean like that. They should get to feel what it felt like to stand up on a wave and see the world differently.”
I just nodded. It was similar to what I'd felt when I worked with those kids, getting them excited about waves and standing up. I'd never felt so accomplished than I did that day at the state beach.
“So, in that way, he was the exact opposite of Leo,” she said.
“How's that?”
“Leo was the epitome of locals only.” Her voice was bitter. “Always saw himself as the protector of the breaks or some shit like that. Organized some little asshole crew that ran around like they owned the beaches. Idiots.”
I shifted on the couch. “So they didn't get along?”
“Not even a little,” She shook her head. “They were polar opposites in nearly every way. Anthony tried to play peacemaker. He idolized Leo because he was his older brother, but he liked Luke, too. But he could never bridge the gap. No one could. Sure as hell not me.
“They managed to get along for awhile,” she continued. “And that was probably about me. But it was never real. It was always forced. Leo thought Luke was an idiot and Luke thought Leo was an arrogant prick. And the longer Luke held the lifeguarding job, the worse it got. Every time Leo saw him helping out some family with their rental boards, Leo would get pissed. Like it was offensive to him. So he'd always make a remark to Luke when he saw him. And for a long time, Luke didn't say anything. For me. He didn't want to make it a big deal.” She paused for a second. “But I got tired of hearing it, too. So Luke started barking back at him. Got to the point where they literally couldn't be in the same room together. They just couldn't get along.”
“Jesus.” I couldn't imagine someone being such an asshole about the ocean. Not someone I knew, someone I was related to. There were plenty of pricks who acted like that out in the water but my hometown break had never been like that. And by the time I was surfing other places, my reputation had already been established. No one had ever messed with me, had ever made me feel unwelcome.
“Yeah. It really did,” she said. “So Luke and I were at a party one night. End of summer thing. Lots of people, lots of friends. Luke had a couple beers, but nothing horrific. Anthony was there with some of his friends. Everything's totally fine. Luke and I got separated at some point. Which was no big deal. Just figured he was out back with other people or whatever. Then Anthony starts yelling for me. Like, loud. He's at the front of the house we were in and I could see his face over the top of people's heads. And I could tell something was wrong.
“He was waving at me, trying to get me to come to him,” she said. Her voice had lowered almost to a whisper and I had to lean closer to hear her. “But there's a ton of people and its taking me forever to get to him. And when I finally do, he just grabs my hand and pulls me outside.”
I knew what was coming. I'd read enough to know what happened next. But it didn't keep my heart from beating faster or my mouth from drying up as I waited for her to finish.
“Luke is out in the street,” she said slowly. “Standing with a younger kid I didn't know. They were faced off with three guys. Ruben Castillo, Brad Jakers and my big brother. Leo.”
I shook my head. “Shit.”
She nodded. “Yeah. Shit. And I can tell, just the way they are standing, that it's gonna go down. They are finally gonna fight. And for just a moment, I thought maybe it wasn't such a bad idea. They could get after one another and maybe it would take some of the tension out of the relationship. I don't know. But then I snapped back to reality and was like, no, that's stupid. Stop them.”
“Who was the other kid?”
“Some unlucky kid that had been out on the water earlier and that Leo had taken a disliking to. “Her voice was filled with disgust. “He'd apparently kicked him out of the water earlier in the day, then recognized him at the party and gone off on him. Luke saw him yelling at the kid and went to intervene. And it just got...heated.”
She paused.
“Before I could even yell at them, Luke turned to Ruben to say something.” She blinked rapidly.
“And Leo just swung at him. Took him right off his feet. And he just dropped to the ground.”
I leaned forward and touched her hand.
“I ran to him,” she said, swallowing hard. “Leo and his two asshole pals took off running. Panicked. Rightly so.” She ran a hand through her hair and I saw that her fingers were shaking. “Luke was out cold on the ground. His jaw was out of place, you could tell it was broken. And there was this...black blood coming through his nose and mouth, puddling under his face.” She looked at me then, and her eyes were bright with tears. “I just knew it was...not good. But you don't think that the person you love is going to die, do you? You think they'll live forever. Like they're invincible or something.”
I knew exactly what she meant. Jay.
She shook her head. “But that's just not true. They kept him alive for a couple of days, but he never woke up. I wasn't there when they turned off the machines. I couldn't.”
I didn't know what to say to her, what I could say that would make it better. There weren't words. So I said the only thing I could think to say.
“I'm sorry.”
“So I know you're not him,” she said, clearing her throat. “I do know that. But it's like seeing flashbacks sometimes. There's just enough there to remind me.”
“But I'm not him,” I repeated. “I can't be. I'm Kellen. Gina. Remember?”
“I know.” She looked down at the floor. “But the similarities are there. I thought I could do it. Block the memories long enough to work with you. And I did. You know?”
I nodded. She'd done an excellent job at staying professional.
“But then...” Her voice trailed off. “Then I don't know what happened. You weren't just a job anymore. I liked you. Liked spending time with you. Liked your sense of humor. Liked knowing I could get you to do things you didn't want to do. All of that.”
I knew exactly what she meant. It was how she's somehow managed to morph into something more for me.
“And then you kissed me.” She closed her eyes. “And it scared the shit out of me. I couldn't go down that path again. Not when you reminded me so much of Luke. Of what I'd loved. And what I'd lost.”