Falling Angel

by Carmen Richter

  “I love you,” she sniffled.

  I wasn’t sure I’d ever get used to hearing that come out of her mouth. I kissed her, and my heart broke all over again tasting the salt from her tears on her lips.

  “Can you say that one more time? I didn’t hear you,” I teased.

  She giggled, still sniffling.

  “I. Love. You,” she repeated.

  “I don’t want to know where the property is, but call me when you get there safe,” Jillian told Daphne as she hugged her goodbye.

  “We will,” Daphne promised. “Thank you, Jill. For everything.”

  “You’ve done so much more for me,” she said. “I love you, Daph.”

  “I love you too.”

  “When all this is over, do me a favor and bring that adorable little girl out here for a visit so I can meet her.”

  Daphne chuckled. “We will.”

  I turned to look at her, and even though it had been a full day, it was still strange seeing her without her pink highlights. She’d had Jillian get her some hair dye and gotten rid of them yesterday, saying that she’d have them put back in before the first show back. But she knew they were a dead giveaway and she wanted to minimize the chances of her being spotted in or around the house we were going to be staying in.

  “Ready to get out of here, baby?” I asked. “We need to leave soon if we’re going to get there before dark.”

  She nodded and carried her duffel bag to my car, then got in the passenger seat without a word. It was a four-hour ride to Wilkes-Barre, so we needed to get a move on, because if someone started tailing us and we needed to lose them, it would be easier for me to tell in daylight rather than at night.

  Only four people knew the exact location of the house that Daphne and I were going to be staying in for three weeks until her tour started up again: me, her, Mel, and Jill’s friend Millie, who owned the property. Millie had stocked the place up with enough groceries for a few weeks so we didn’t have to leave, and Mel was going to be meeting us there with Daphne’s bus two days before we were due at her first stop of the next leg, Seattle. Daphne had worked it out with her other driver, Vance, that he’d meet us in Philadelphia before we headed out. It was a little out of the way, but she said she’d rather do that than have him know where she was. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust him; she just figured that if he didn’t know where she was, he didn’t have to lie if someone asked. At least, that was her story and she was sticking to it.

  As far as where the bus was staying until then? Mel had picked it up from my parents’ house yesterday, and he was going to be keeping it on his family’s property in the Catskills. She trusted him completely to keep her bus safe until she needed it again.

  “You okay, angel?” I asked as I started the car, turning to look at her. “What’s going on in that gorgeous head of yours?”

  “I just hate this so much. All of it. I feel safe with you, but I’m still scared. You know?”

  I pulled her into a soft kiss. “I know. I hate it too, and I’m scared too. But we’re in this together. No matter what.”

  The second I opened my eyes, a knot formed in my stomach.

  Today was the first show on the second leg of the tour. Granted, I was going stir crazy, and I was glad to get to see the sky today, but Jack Henry had been trying to find Hugh for going on four weeks now, and they hadn’t found a thing. So that meant that Hugh was still out there, and he knew exactly where I’d be today, and when.

  I’d brought up canceling the tour until we found Hugh, but Jack said that wasn’t a good idea, because that would clue him in that I knew he was the one behind everything. Jack also pointed out that, with all the security at my shows, this could actually work to our benefit, because it could draw Hugh out in an environment where I’d be protected at all times. And he and a few of the guys on his team were here too, and they’d stay with us until Hugh was apprehended. Because he was crossing state lines stalking me, that made it a federal case, so we’d need the FBI there to arrest him anyway.

  The thought of literally using myself as bait terrified me and felt weird on so many levels, but I didn’t really know what else I was supposed to do. The alternative would have been canceling all further public appearances until we caught Hugh and basically turning into a hermit. That was no way to live.

  “Morning,” Ezra said softly, kissing my hair.

  “I hate this. I’ve never gotten stage fright before, but I’m terrified to do this show tonight,” I sighed. “I can’t explain it, but I just have this awful feeling that something bad is going to happen tonight.”

  “Nothing’s going to happen to you, baby,” he said, tilting my chin up and making me look at him. “You have a whole team of people whose sole job is to keep you safe. But we do need to get going soon. Sound check’s early because you’ve got the hairstylist coming to give you those famous pink highlights back. Remember?”

  I snorted. “I hate making someone come to me. I always go to the salon like a normal person.”

  “You are the most low-maintenance celebrity I’ve ever worked for,” he chuckled, stealing a kiss.

  “I try to be. I seriously feel like I’m going to throw up, though,” I admitted.

  “Let’s get ready and get out of here, and I’ll see if I can hunt down some ginger ale for you.”

  I smiled and kissed him again before moving to get up. And the second I moved, I had to make a dash for the bathroom. I barely made it to the toilet before I threw up. Groaning, I grabbed one of the glasses on the counter and got some water, then grabbed my toiletry bag to get some Mylanta. But as I pulled the bottle out, another item caught my attention: my box of tampons.

  I did some quick math in my head and realized that my period was almost three weeks late. Granted, it could just have been because of stress. I’d been under a crazy amount of stress the past few months. And if it hadn’t been for the fact that I’d just thrown up this morning, I probably would have brushed it off as that. But even though the throwing up could also have been from stress, and even though we always used condoms and I was on the pill too, I just had this feeling it wasn’t. I couldn’t explain it.

  I debated talking to Ezra before we even left the hotel room, but I didn’t want to freak him out if this was just stress. The issue was, though, that I couldn’t just walk into a drugstore and buy a pregnancy test. Even though I’d gotten rid of my pink highlights while I was in hiding, I was still way too easily recognizable. Every tabloid in the entire world would be running the story before I stepped onstage tonight.

  After taking a swig of Mylanta, I headed back into the bedroom to find that Ezra was gone, probably making sure it was safe to get me to the car. I quickly got dressed, then grabbed my phone and sent a text to the one person I could trust to run this errand for me and keep it quiet.

  Me: I hate to do this, but I need a favor.

  Sam: What’s up?

  Me: Can you get me a pregnancy test? I’ll pay you back. I just can’t be seen buying it. I know this could just be stress, but I’m going crazy not knowing.

  Sam: Your money’s no good with me. I’ll have it at sound check. Deep breaths, babe.

  Me: You’re the best. Love you. <3

  Sam: *kiss emoji*

  I tried to take deep breaths, but it was almost impossible. The thing was, though, I was equal parts terrified and happy.

  I was terrified because Hugh was still out there somewhere, and God only knew what he’d do if he even had a suspicion that I might be pregnant. He’d jumped Samantha just because I hooked up with her backstage before a show. If he knew I was pregnant with Ezra’s child? He’d probably make me watch him kill the man and little girl who had become my whole world and then kill me slowly and painfully.

  But the thought of having a child with Ezra? Of building a family with him and Arielle? It wasn’t nearly as scary as I would have thought it would be. In fact, it made me want to cry from pure happiness.

  I’d had a pregnancy scare a co
uple of months after I broke up with Chad, when I realized I hadn’t gotten my period since we were together. Taylor had held me as I cried, sat with me as I waited for the timer on my phone to go off after I took the test, and told me that I’d get through it, no matter if that second line showed up on the stick or not. I hadn’t even wanted to tell him because we’d only just met, but he could tell something was wrong and said that after all the times I’d listened to him talk about what happened to him, he wanted to be there for me if I was having a hard time. I’d needed to talk to someone, so I told him. At least I knew he’d understand why the thought of having any sort of connection to Chad scared the shit out of me. Thankfully, the test came back negative, and when I went to see a gynecologist, she’d put me on a different birth control because it turned out that the pill she had me on was what had caused my cycle to become irregular.

  Looking back, that was when I knew Taylor was my person. The kind of friend who would be there for me through thick and thin. And he was the one I wanted to talk to about this now.

  But this time, it was different. Because this time, even though the timing was horrible, my fear wasn’t of becoming a mother. It was of my psycho manager finding out about it and using it against me.

  I knew I couldn’t call him and talk to him about it, though. Not before I talked to Ezra. The only reason I’d even told Samantha was because I needed her to get me that test, since I couldn’t get it myself.

  A pair of hands landed on my shoulders, and a kiss was pressed to the top of my head.

  “We’re all clear to get going. As soon as you eat something,” Ezra said.

  I nodded and stood up, throwing my phone into my purse.

  “You okay?” he asked.

  “No,” I admitted. “I’m scared. And I feel like I’m going to puke again.”

  That was close enough to the truth. I was scared of doing this show tonight. But that wasn’t why I felt like I was going to puke again.

  He pulled me into his arms and kissed my forehead. “You’re safe, baby. I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

  “I know you’ll do your best not to,” I assured him. “I trust you. And the rest of the guys.”

  “I know you don’t feel good, but will you do me a favor and try to eat something before we go? Having an empty stomach is just making this worse.”

  I smiled. I loved how concerned he was about me. He always had been, even before we became a couple.

  “I’ll try,” I conceded.

  “Hey, Daph,” Samantha said, giving me a hug as she walked into the arena. “How are you feeling?”

  “Honestly? I’m scared to death to do this show tonight, even with the FBI here to back Ezra and his team up,” I admitted.

  “I know. But, realistically, this is the best plan we have. And it’s our best chance of catching Hugh. I could always tell there was something off about him.”

  “I wish I’d seen it sooner. I mean, I knew he was a sleaze, but I never thought he was completely unhinged. I have to wonder if I could have stopped it before it came to this,” I sighed.

  “Stop that. He’s a psycho. That’s not on you,” she scolded me. “You can’t blame yourself.”

  “I’m trying not to. Um, did you get the…?”

  “Yep. It’s in my bag. Do you want it now?”

  I shook my head. “I have nowhere to put it. I’ll take it after sound check.”

  “Okay. Ready to go get sound check over with?”

  “Yep. Let’s do it.”

  The sound check went off without a hitch, just like it usually did. Except for the fact that going up in my harness made me feel like puking. But there was nothing I could do about that, except for take Mylanta right before the show to try to calm my stomach.

  Sam walked offstage with me and ushered me to where she’d put her bag, opening it to reveal the box I was looking for.

  “Do you want me to come with you, babe?” she asked.

  Even though I felt horrible letting anyone find out before Ezra, I couldn’t do this alone. So I nodded.

  “Come on,” she encouraged me, giving me a hug.

  We went to the bathroom, and I locked the door behind us. Then Samantha pulled the test out of her purse and handed it to me. I ripped it open and read the instructions before disappearing into a stall and sticking the plastic stick between my legs to pee on it. I wished I had a cup to pee into, but if I was going to be a mother, I’d have to get used to way worse stuff than getting a little bit of pee on my hands.

  After wiping the stick off and sticking it back into the box, I went to wash my hands. Samantha was standing there looking at me sympathetically.

  “Can you set a timer on your phone for five minutes?” I asked as I turned the sink on and put way too much soap on my hands.

  She pulled her phone out and set the timer, then turned back to me. “Can I ask a stupid question?”

  “Yeah, of course. What?”

  “What happens if it’s positive? How serious are you and Ezra?”

  I smiled. “That’s not what I’m worried about. We haven’t talked about what’s happening after this tour’s over, but I’m not planning on breaking up with him. I love him and Ari too much to do that. Maybe it’s not ideal right now, but I know we’ll figure out a way to make it work. I’m worried about what happens if Hugh finds out before we catch him.”

  “We’re going to catch him. I can guarantee he’s been waiting for tonight. When he knew exactly where you’d be and when. And I can guarantee he thinks no one’s going to think twice because he’s your manager. He doesn’t know that everyone on this crew has been briefed, and he doesn’t know that three FBI agents are here waiting to arrest him. So try not to worry about that. How do you think Ezra will react? If you’re right?”

  “Honestly? I don’t know. And no matter what happens, I have to wait until after the VIP meet and greet to talk to him because the hairstylist is waiting for me now. I’m going to tell him about this regardless. I hate that I’m keeping it from him now. But I just want to know one way or the other before we talk. You know?”

  “Yeah, I get it. You’ve got enough uncertainty in your life right now. You want to be able to talk about what’s going to happen, not what might happen.”

  Before I could respond, the timer on her phone went off. I froze, suddenly unable to make my hands move to get the box off the counter and take the test out. Samantha gave me a hug, then grabbed the box and handed it to me.

  “Can’t put it off forever, babe,” she said. “Go on. Look at it.”

  I took a deep breath and pulled the plastic stick that felt like it was about to determine my whole future out of the box. Then I took another breath before turning it over and reading the message on the small screen.

  Pregnant.

  When Daphne walked out of her dressing room to head to the meet and greet, she looked…I didn’t know how to describe it. She wasn’t anxious, exactly. And she wasn’t scared, either. I’d seen those emotions on her face before. This was different. The best way I could describe it was that she looked nervous, and maybe a little unsure. But even that wasn’t quite right.

  “You okay, angel?” I asked.

  She nodded. “Sort of. We need to talk after the meet and greet, though. Can the guys manage without you for a little while?”

  Okay, now I was nervous. More than a little nervous. Maybe my last real relationship before her had been in high school, but I still knew that good things never followed the phrase “we need to talk.”

  “Yeah, of course,” I told her, forcing myself to keep my voice even. “Do you want to talk now? Just get it over with?”

  “We don’t have time. Not the kind of time we need. We’ll have the time while I’m getting changed into my stage clothes.”

  Well, it couldn’t be too bad if her plan involved talking to me while she was changing her clothes. Right?

  “Okay,” I said, looking to make sure we were alone before stealing a kiss, then lowerin
g my voice to a whisper. “I love you.”

  That earned me a smile.

  “I love you too,” she mumbled.

  Even though Jack and his team were here, and even though Logan and Brock had joined Frankie and I in the room for the meet and greet today, it seemed like that didn’t lessen Daphne’s fear. Every time Frankie brought someone new into the room, Daphne tensed up until she saw that it wasn’t Hugh.

  I could tell that whatever she wanted to tell me was weighing on her too. She wasn’t rude to her fans, but she wasn’t her usual bright and bubbly self with them. Normally, unless it was a man who was trying to cop a feel, she loved talking to her fans. But today, it seemed like she would rather be anywhere else.

  After the final VIPs were escorted out, Daphne turned to me and swallowed hard, looking like she was about to throw up. I really hoped she wasn’t sick. Because performing with a stomach bug didn’t seem like a great combo.

  “Ready to head back?” I asked.

  She nodded, but didn’t say anything. I pulled her into a hug and pressed my lips to her hairline before leading her to the door. She was silent the entire way back to her dressing room, and it seemed like the closer we got, the tenser she became.

  As soon as I shut and locked the door behind us, I turned and gave her a real kiss. The kind I couldn’t give her in front of anyone else. She whimpered quietly as she clung to me, and I walked her backward to the couch. I sat down, intending to pull her to sit on my lap, but she sat on the other end of the couch.

  What in the hell was going on? What was she so afraid to tell me?

  “Baby, just say it. Whatever it is, I can take it,” I told her. “You’re starting to scare me.”

  “I don’t know how to say it. Except to just blurt it out. I’m pregnant. I had Sam get me a test and I took it right after the sound check. I would have talked to you before the meet and greet if I hadn’t had to get my hair done. I hated keeping it from you, but I didn’t want to tell you until I knew for sure one way or the other. We have enough unknowns in our lives already and I didn’t want this to be another one. Well, it still sort of is, I guess. But not in the same way.”