by Anthology
“It’s okay, Sydney. I’m not going back.”
Until he spoke, she didn’t realize she’d verbalized her fears, didn’t hear herself saying over and over, “Don’t leave me again.”
He pressed a gentle kiss on the top of her head and let her hang on. He kept his arms around her, giving her the time she needed to compose herself once more.
“I hated every single minute you were gone.”
“I know you did,” he whispered. “I’m sorry.”
She shook her head. “Not your fault. You told me in kindergarten you were going to be a Marine. It’s not like you didn’t give me plenty of warning.” She tried to laugh, but the sound that came out was mixed with a sob.
He slowly extracted himself from her grip, his hands still supporting her, firmly holding her upper arms. “I told you not to wait for me.”
She frowned, confused. “I didn’t.”
He gave her an amused grin. “You are the most stubborn woman I’ve ever known.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? I didn’t wait for you.”
“Fine. If you say so.”
His tone told her he didn’t believe her, but her pride wouldn’t let her back down. Mainly because she was starting to think he was right. “I mean it, Chas. I haven’t been sitting here pining away. I’ve gone out on dates.”
Chas’ smile faded briefly and for a second Sydney thought he looked almost jealous. “I know about the dates. You could’ve done a lot better than Mac Mitchell.”
Sydney laughed. “We only went out three times. Who told you about that?”
He shrugged. “I have my sources.”
“So you’ve been spying on me.”
He ran his fingers along her face in a way that made her skin warm and her heart flutter. “I prefer to call it keeping tabs on my best friend. Making sure she was staying out of trouble.”
“You never expressed much interest in my love life when you came home for visits. Why now?”
“I didn’t want to know who you were sleeping with, Syd, because it would have killed me. Or made me want to kill the guy.”
She wasn’t sure what to do with that confession. His dark expression told her he was telling her the truth. She’d thought Chas had managed to walk away from their relationship without a backwards glance. He’d never seemed to suffer the same sense of loss she’d felt. Finding out he had threw her for a loop.
She took a deep breath. “All I’m saying is, I didn’t wait. I just didn’t find anyone else.”
She expected her comment to make him laugh or open the door for him to tease her about her bad taste in guys. With the exception of him, she’d dated a very long list of dogs in the past dozen years.
However, he never cracked a smile. Instead, he muttered, “Thank God.”
“Chas—” she started.
Before she could nail him down on his current intentions, ask him about all these kisses, Gran appeared in the doorway.
“There you two are. Everyone’s looking for the guest of honor. And Sydney, Jeannette wanted me to ask you to bring some more buns. We’ve got a hungry crowd out there.”
She and Chas stepped apart, he to follow his gran, while she went to the storage closet for more sandwich rolls. His voice caused her to turn and she realized he’d hung back by the doorway.
“I’m home to stay, Sydney. And all that stuff I said when we were eighteen doesn’t apply anymore. You understand?”
She nodded slowly.
Chas studied her face, then appeared satisfied that she really did get it. “Good. We’ll talk more later.”
He left her alone in the kitchen as she struggled to catch her bearings.
Chas intended for them to pick up where they’d left off twelve years ago.
Holy shit.
And thank God.
Chapter Three
Sydney stood in front of the griddle at Sparks Barbeque, absentmindedly flipping a couple of hamburgers. After the party for Chas, she’d gone home alone. Not that Chas hadn’t tried to persuade her to spend the night with him. However, she’d demurred, insisting he spend the evening with his family. His uncle and Gran had worked hard on his apartment in the basement. He needed to give them a chance to catch up with him alone and he’d agreed she was right.
Of course, right or not, that didn’t mean she hadn’t sort of expected to see him waiting at the door to the restaurant this morning. She was disappointed when he wasn’t there. Her phone had been out in plain view all day and she’d glanced at the screen no less than a million times, in addition to flipping it on countless times to make sure the battery was still charged. He’d never called.
She had told him last night that she hadn’t waited for him. At the time she had believed it. However, in the hours since then, she’d questioned the accuracy of that statement. Perhaps she had subconsciously been waiting for Chas’ return. She’d been devastated each time he’d signed on for four more years with the Marines, going into a funk for weeks afterwards. And she hadn’t exactly chosen stellar guys to date. Her cousin, Jeannette, claimed she had some weird affinity for assholes, but Sydney wondered if she’d gravitated toward those men because they weren’t a threat. She’d never dated anyone more than a handful of times.
Sydney blew out an exasperated breath. Chas had been home one day and he’d managed to throw her boring, predictable life into complete turmoil. He had her questioning every choice she had made since he’d left and those damn kisses of his had fired up her libido to dangerous levels. She’d pulled out her vibrator three times last night. Three times!
“Why are you still here?” Jeannette asked as she carried a gallon of milk from the walk-in refrigerator. “I’m the dinner shift. And it’s not like we’re that busy. Go on home and relax, or better yet, call up Chas and burn off some of this lust you’re obviously suffering from.”
Sydney scowled, but didn’t bother to argue with her cousin. She and Jeannette had spent several hours a day for years in this kitchen together. It had begun to feel as if they shared a hive mind. There was very little about Jeannette that Sydney didn’t know and vice versa.
Jeannette chuckled at her irate expression. “Damn. You do have it bad. And I don’t blame you. Chas has filled out in all the right places over the years. The Marines were very good for that man’s physique. It’s like he’s chiseled out of stone.”
Sydney didn’t need the description. She’d fantasized about those muscles for hours last night, imagined herself licking each and every single curve. However, before she could tell her cousin to shut up because she was just making things worse, Macie be-bopped into the kitchen with a shit-eating grin on her face.
She stopped short when she saw Sydney at the griddle. “What are you still doing here? Your shift ended an hour ago.”
“That’s what I told her,” Jeannette added.
Macie turned to Jeannette, mischief twinkling in her eyes. “Hey, Jeannette, Luc and Diego are sitting at the counter out there. They want to know when you’re going to go out with them.”
Jeannette was the mildest of souls and her temper had a very long fuse. Except for when it came to two of Maris’ firefighters, the sexy-as-sin Diego and Luc. The mere mention of their names more often than not flipped her lid.
Jeannette slammed her spatula down on the counter. “Oh my God. Those two will not catch a clue.”
“They like you,” Macie said with a wicked grin, provoking Jeannette’s irritation even more.
“They. Do you hear what you’re saying, Mace? They like me. The rest of Maris may turn a blind eye to their exploits, may pat them on the back for their dating habits, but I have no issue calling them out for it. It’s not normal for two grown-assed men to date women together. When did threesomes become an acceptable practice around here?”
“When Diego and Luc started doing it,” Sydney said, covertly winking at Macie. It was fun pushing Jeannette’s buttons on this subject. She couldn’t understand what it was about those two men that got to
her cousin so much, especially considering she was the most accepting of souls when it came to everything else in the world, but there was something about the firefighters and their dating practices that provoked Jeannette like nothing else.
Jeannette took the bait, spinning angrily to face Sydney. “Seriously, Syd? That’s your argument? Two good-looking guys invite a woman out for dinner, drinks and God knows what else, and we’re supposed to turn a blind eye and act like it’s no big deal. Since when did we hand the keys to the city over to those two?”
Macie flipped her hair over her shoulder. “I don’t know about the keys to the city, but I’d sure as hell give them the keys to my bedroom.”
Sydney leaned against the counter, giggling. “You have to admit it, Nettie, those two are hot with a capital H. Besides, they’re not from here. They’re from Dallas.”
Jeannette shook her head. “You act like that explains everything.”
Sydney lifted one shoulder casually. “People play by different rules in a big city. And I’m not saying it’s not unusual, but heck, I don’t see too many women saying no. I think half the female population of Maris would love to go out with them.”
“And the other half is married. Although let’s face it, they want to too,” Macie added with a laugh.
Sydney loved working in the restaurant with her family. Her cousins were her dearest friends—the sisters of her heart—and she couldn’t imagine spending a day where she didn’t talk to one or most of them. In addition to Macie and Jeannette, she was also close to her other cousins, Evan, Paige, Lacy, Gia, Tyson, and Adele. Chas had once claimed he couldn’t turn around twice in Maris without bumping into one of her relatives. The statement was probably true, and Sydney loved it.
She’d started dragging Chas, Gran and Uncle Julian to her family’s Christmas celebration when she and Chas were in ninth grade because she simply couldn’t fathom a holiday spent with just three people. The Sparks’ family Christmases were huge events with no less than sixty people squeezed into her Uncle George’s house, armed with enough food to feed an army. Sydney’s ears usually rang for hours afterwards because of the noise from so many people talking at the same time.
It was chaos.
And it was home.
It was also one of the reasons Chas had given for breaking up with her after graduation, when she’d suggested they throw caution to the wind and elope. He’d insisted he could never take her away from her family. She’d argued with true teenage bravado, claiming she could leave Maris just fine. But Chas had been right, had known she never would have been happy anywhere else.
Jeannette returned to the coleslaw she was making, stirring it with a vengeance. “Macie, you can give Luc and Diego my standard answer.”
Macie rolled her eyes. “Gotcha. I’ll inform them that hell hasn’t frozen over yet.”
Sydney shook her head. “Wasted opportunity, Nettie.”
Macie stopped in the doorway, nodding her head in agreement. “I think so too. Besides, they’re not going to stop asking until you agree. Why not surprise them with a yes? Then treat yourself—if the rumors are to be believed—to the best sex of your life.”
Jeannette didn’t bother to look up from the slaw. “No thanks. Not interested. Why don’t you girls go out with them, if you think it sounds like such a peachy deal?”
“They aren’t asking us,” Sydney replied, though she didn’t admit she wouldn’t accept a date with Luc and Diego either.
Not that she wouldn’t have been tempted. They really were hot. She just wasn’t attracted to them like that. They were fun, nice, crazy guys who were a blast to go out for a few beers with—as friends—but she simply didn’t want any more from them than that. The same didn’t hold true for Jeannette. In fact, the louder Jeannette protested, the more Sydney was convinced her cousin had it bad for the sexy firefighters.
Macie sighed. “If they did, I wouldn’t be a fool and say no.”
Now that Sydney believed. Macie didn’t waste much time on thinking, like Sydney and Jeannette did. Macie tended to grab life by the horns and hold on for the ride. Sydney wished she could be a little more like that. She was too cautious and practical. While she thought the idea of a threesome was hot, she’d never indulge in such a thing.
Jeannette had calmed back down. “Just tell them my answer is still no, Mace.”
“Fine.” Macie left the kitchen.
“And you need to go home,” Jeannette added.
“I don’t mind hanging out here. It’s not like there’s anything waiting for me at home.”
“What about Chas?”
Sydney didn’t pretend to misunderstand the question. Chas wasn’t at her house, but that didn’t mean he didn’t want to be. “He wants me. Said he wants to pick up where we left off in high school.”
Jeannette put her spoon down and walked over to Sydney. “Seriously? I mean, I figured as much after all those kisses he was giving you last night, but wow. That’s really cool.”
Sydney bit her lower lip. “You think so?”
“You two were great together, Syd. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard someone wonder where you and Chas would be if he hadn’t joined the Marines.”
“But he did join. And he was gone for a long time.”
“He’s back now.”
Sydney sighed. “He hasn’t called.”
“So what?” Jeannette asked. “Call him.”
“I don’t know how I’m supposed to respond to any of this. Am I supposed to just jump right back in with both feet?”
“You never stopped loving him, so why should it be hard? Take what he’s offering and run with it. If you’d stop overanalyzing and thinking it to death, you’d see it’s exactly what you want. What you’ve been waiting for since high school.”
“I didn’t wait.” Even as Sydney spoke the same words she’d said to Chas the previous evening, she knew for a fact that was exactly what she’d done.
Dammit.
Jeannette didn’t bother to answer. Instead she just laughed, the sound saying it all.
Sydney’s back went up. “Nettie.”
Jeannette raised her hand. “Don’t waste your breath. You’ve spent most of your adult life waiting for Chas to come home to you. He’s here now. Don’t blow it.”
Sydney didn’t know how to respond to that. Simply because it was true. She had always been in love with him, was still in love with Chas.
Maybe that was why this was so difficult. She’d been in love with him before and he’d broken her heart. She thought she’d forgiven him for that. Hell, she’d even managed to justify his reasons, tell herself he was right to walk away. However, there was a small part inside that was still hurt. Still afraid.
He wasn’t the same boy he’d been when he left. They’d spent more time apart than together. Jeannette had said it herself. Sydney had been alone her entire adult life, clearly clinging to the man Chas had been when he’d left. And while shades of that boy were still there, this Chas was different.
She wasn’t the same person either. While she hadn’t seen as much of the world as he had, she’d lost a lot of her young, starry-eyed take on life in general. She was older, more serious, maybe less fun. What if he didn’t like the woman she’d become?
What if they tried again only to discover the spark wasn’t there anymore? Did she really want to set herself up for all that hurt again?
Twelve years had passed. Chas had grown harder—and not just in a physical sense. There was an edge to him she didn’t recognize or understand. He’d seen more than his share of fighting during his stint in the Middle East. He’d watched two friends die in a firefight, one of them bleeding to death in his arms. While Chas hadn’t shared many of the details with her, he hadn’t been the same since. Obviously a traumatic event like that would change a person.
When Sydney failed to respond, Jeannette picked up Sydney’s cell and handed it to her. “Call him, Syd.”
Frustration hit hard. “And say what,
Nettie? Hey Chas. What’s up? Want to get together tonight for dinner or to fuck like rabbits or to get married?”
“I’d be up for any of those.”
Sydney whirled at the sound of Chas’ voice in the doorway. Macie stood next to him with an expression that was equal parts horrified and amused.
“Oops,” Macie mouthed. Then she pointed to Chas. “He was asking where you were. I didn’t think you’d mind me bringing him back here.”
Sydney didn’t need a mirror to know she was bright red. Her face was flaming and she wished the ground would open and swallow her. “I was just…”
Chas walked in. “I’m sorry I didn’t call earlier, Sydney. My uncle had me up at the ass crack of dawn to go to the construction site. I didn’t realize when he said he wanted to retire and hand the reins of the business over to me, that he meant immediately. Apparently Julian has his sights set on some retirement community in Florida.”
“We were talking about that on the way to the airport yesterday. It sounds like a cool place.” She was grateful that Chas had brushed over her comment as though she hadn’t even said it.
“We drove to his current site, which is near Amarillo. It was an hour-long drive and then I was thrust into a meeting with the group that hired him to do the project. I swear to you, I didn’t have one damn minute to myself today as Julian introduced me to every single guy on his crew and discussed every detail of the company. I think my head’s about to explode.”
Sydney laughed. “You don’t have to apologize, Chas.”
“I think I do.” He reached out and took her hand. “I sort of dropped a bomb on you last night, then walked away. I wouldn’t mind taking you up on the dinner part of that invitation you just blurted out.”
She scowled. “You weren’t supposed to hear that.”
Chas leaned forward to place a soft kiss on her cheek. While there, he whispered, “I’m glad I did. Sounds like we’re on the same page.”