by Anthology
He set his glass down and leaned back in his chair. “I’m not here to steal you away from the Ken doll. Like I said, I was only looking for something to do tonight. Maybe you could save me a spot on your dance card.”
She shook her head automatically. The thought of him pressing his body against hers even in a vertical position was too much to bear. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
He bent forward and put his forearms against his thighs, leaning so that he was inches from her face.
“Why are you so afraid of being near me?” he whispered, his voice like heated honey. He reached out and placed his hand on her knee, his touch gentle but unapologetic. Shimmering electricity raced along her skin, raising goose bumps all the way up to her scalp. “I would never do anything you didn’t want me to do.”
She bit her lip. She wanted him to do it all. That was the problem.
“Ahem.” Grayson cleared his throat with more vigor than necessary.
Lex's hand slid off her knee, and he grabbed his drink again. He glanced at Gray, giving him a bored look. Aubrey felt flushed from the inside out—and hot, so hot—but risked turning toward Gray anyway.
“Hey.” She pasted on a high-wattage, everything's-totally-cool smile. “Grayson, this is Lex Logan. The musician I’ve been interviewing this week. He’s the lead singer of Wanderlust.”
Grayson’s face registered recognition, but he quickly covered it. “Never heard of ‘em.”
Lex's smile was wry. “Yeah, I don’t think you’re in our fan demographic.”
He made it sound like a light joke, but Aubrey caught the dig. She shot Lex a warning look.
He held out his hand to Grayson. “Lex.”
Grayson set the two drinks on the table and shook Lex’s hand. “Grayson Robichaux.”
Their knuckles turn white as they gripped each other in restrained hostility. Aubrey sniffed. Men.
Grayson sat and parked his arm on the back of her chair where Lex's had been a moment before. “So what are you doing here? Aubrey’s off of work for the evening.”
Lex started to talk, but Aubrey interjected. “Oh, I mentioned the party to him earlier today, and he decided to come down and make a donation. Wasn’t that nice?”
Gray eyed Lex, clearly not buying it. “How thoughtful.”
“Well, you know, I try to do what I can to give back.”
Gray’s eyes traveled from Lex’s designer suit to the tattoos peeking out under his left cuff. “Right, I’m sure you’re quite the philanthropist.”
Aubrey’s hand darted out to grab Gray’s. She squeezed it pointedly.
Gray turned to her. “Lex, will you excuse us? I think it’s time for a dance with my girl.”
Aubrey stiffened at him referring to her as his girl. He’d have to earn the right to call her that again. But she wasn’t going to make a scene here. She gave Lex one last look as Grayson guided her to the dance floor.
They danced a few numbers, falling into step with each other easily. Her father interrupted for a dance and told her how happy he was that she had made it. Her mother cornered her and gave her a full commentary on the inappropriateness of excessive cleavage. Aubrey listened, nodded, and made comments at the proper times, but she was on autopilot. Her conscious mind could only manage one thing—tracking Lex. He spent the first fifteen minutes watching her every move with Grayson, a vaguely amused expression on his face. Then, he spent the next half hour dancing with women more than twice his age, whispering things in their ears that made them blush to their blue roots. Aubrey found herself suddenly jealous of the elderly.
When the next song ended, the clinking of a spoon against a glass interrupted the smattering of applause for the band. She turned toward the stage area and saw the woman from the welcome table standing behind the podium.
“Ladies and gentleman, if you can please take your seats for a few minutes. It’s time for the media presentation.”
Aubrey’s father and mother headed toward the stage as Grayson led her back to the table. Red velvet cupcakes decorated with the charity’s logo—a wine glass and a car key with a slashed red circle over them—were perched in front of each chair. She shoved hers away as Lex parked next to her. He picked his up and examined it. “This is uplifting, eh?”
“You’re still here?” Grayson asked mildly.
Lex peeled the wrapper off his cupcake. “Of course. It’s still early. Plus, I haven’t had a chance to dance with my reporter yet.”
Lex winked at Aubrey. She rolled her lips inward and looked away, trying not to smile at how boldly Lex had inserted himself into their evening.
The emcee interrupted before Grayson could respond to Lex’s plan to dance with his date. “We appreciate everyone who came tonight and are so thankful for all your generous contributions. Now you will get to see how your money is being put to use. Tonight is a very special night for us. We've been working tirelessly on a new project for months and are excited to give you a sneak preview tonight. Mayoral candidate, and current state senator, Emile Bordelon is here to help introduce our new media campaign, which will be released in schools this coming fall. He has played a major role in this project not only with his generous financial donations but also with the contribution of his personal family story.”
Aubrey’s heart seemed to stop mid-beat, and a prickly feeling crawled across her skin, invading all her senses. Grayson sent her a worried look.
The woman continued. “Senator Bordelon opened his heart and gave us full access to the details of his family’s tragic experience with drunk driving. The photos and interviews regarding the untimely death of his beautiful daughter, Ashley, are the centerpiece of our new film for high school students. It is our hope that by sharing Ashley’s story, we will be able to save countless other teens from meeting her fate.”
The emcee didn’t stop talking, but Aubrey stopped hearing. Sweat, cold and clammy, glazed her back. Pictures, interviews. She couldn’t bear the idea of seeing photos of the accident. She had never seen the car. She couldn’t even drive down the road where the accident had occurred. Lex reached out and placed his hand on her arm. “Aubrey, what’s wrong? Are you okay? You don’t look so good.”
Grayson’s gaze seemed fixated on the stage, not even noticing her distress. She met Lex’s concerned stare and took a deep breath. “I’ll be all right.”
He seemed ready to call bullshit but apparently thought better of it. He nodded and lifted his hand from her arm. The video started. She tried to look away, but couldn’t. Pictures of her sister, a mirror image of Aubrey at sixteen, scrolled across the screen. The voices of her mother and father narrated over the subtle music. They talked about Ashley’s outgoing personality, her straight A’s, her starting position on the softball team, her desire to be a pediatrician. Their perfect child. How they never worried about her getting into any trouble. Tears pooled at the bottom of Aubrey’s lids as she watched the video clips of her and Ashley at their dance revue—Ashley nailing it, Aubrey pouting and refusing to shimmy with the rest of the seven year olds. The inseparable twins.
Then the images changed to the photos from that night. A crumpled Acura wrapped around a tree. Shattered glass and branches littering the ground. Pictures of the car’s interior. A backseat with torn bits of Grayson’s letterman jacket strewn throughout. The crumpled metal tomb that once was the passenger side of the car.
She squeezed her eyes shut. The images clawed at Aubrey’s mind scraping at the steel doors that kept her memories entombed. Screams, her sister’s and her own, pierced through her brain. The acrid smell of burning oil and rubber seared her nostrils.
“No,” she whispered. Not now. She couldn’t handle that. Not here. She gasped for breath, suddenly unable to find enough air. She rested her head on the edge of the table, trying to slow the frantic thumping in her chest, trying to push away the things she didn’t want to remember.
“Aubrey,” Lex said, touching her shoulder.
She waved him off.
> Her father’s voice drifted from the sound system. “One of our daughter’s lost her life that night. The other has to live the rest of her days knowing that she was responsible for her sister’s death. Please don’t let yourself become either one of them.”
Aubrey choked back tears, not wanting to break down in front of anyone, but she couldn’t control her breathing. Her shoulders rose and fell as she tried to catch her breath.
“Aubrey, you’re hyperventilating or having a panic attack or something, sit up, please. Let me look at you,” Lex pleaded.
She counted to five silently, tucking her shattered emotions underneath a temporary mental couch, and then pushed away from the table. Grayson had silent tears tracking down his cheeks, preoccupied with his own pain. He didn’t even look at her. She didn’t blame him. Ashley had been his girlfriend at the time of the accident. Seeing those images had probably reminded him of who had taken her away from him, who had put his own life at risk.
People around the room had turned to stare in her direction. Pity and sadness filled their faces but no forgiveness. No one forgave her, not even her parents. Because she didn’t deserve it. Hearing her dad’s words in the video solidified what she already knew. They would never look at her and not be reminded of what she had taken from them. She could never be good enough, obedient enough, successful enough to change that. She could never be Ashley.
So why should she keep trying? She straightened her shoulders and turned to Lex. “Get me out of here, right now, please.”
Lex jumped out of his seat. “You got it, babe.” He put his hand out to her, which shook Grayson out of his daze.
Grayson stared at Aubrey as if she had sprouted a second head. “What are you doing?”
She grabbed her purse, her hands shaking. “I have to go.”
“Well, you don’t need to go anywhere with him.” He shoved his chair away from the table. “I can take you home.”
She shook her head vehemently, feeling as if she would splinter into a thousand pieces if she didn’t get out of the building. “No, you stay here. Talk with my parents. I need to be… away from all this. I can’t face anymore of my past tonight.”
Gray frowned. “Including me?”
“I’m sorry. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?” She turned and resisted running full tilt out of the building. She forced her wobbly legs to move at an even, calm clip.
Lex jogged a few steps to catch up with her and slipped his palm onto her lower back, guiding her to the door. He pulled his cell out of his pocket with his other hand and dialed. “Robbie, pull the car around front.”
The limo was idling at the curb when they made it to the front of the hotel. Aubrey climbed in and sagged against the leather seat, a puddle of spent emotions. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back. To her utter dismay, she felt a tear escape.
Lex barked her street name to the cab driver.
She snapped her eyes open. Imagining herself at home alone with only her thoughts scared the hell out of her. “No, I don’t want to go home yet. Take me to get a drink.”
Lex shook his head. “Babe, you don’t—“
“I want a drink,” she said, her voice regaining some strength.
His eyes searched hers.
“Please.”
He blew out a resigned breath. “Robbie, take us to that place near the hotel. That one you told me about.”
“You got it,” Robbie said.
Lex punched a button to raise the privacy screen between them and the driver. Aubrey leaned her head back again, fending off the remnants of her panic attack. The leather cushion grunted as Lex scooted closer to her. She gave him an apologetic look. “Some party, huh? Bet you wish you would’ve gone back to the strip club instead.”
He cupped her face in his hands. With his thumbs, he wiped away the streaks of her tears. “God, Aubrey. Why in the hell would you put yourself through something like that? That was brutal.”
She met his gaze. “They didn’t tell me what it was, just told me to be there.”
“Fuck,” he whispered, shaking his head. “Are they trying to torture you? I mean, the things your dad said.”
She shrugged, though everything felt stiff and tight. “Maybe in a way they are trying to punish me. I mean, I killed their daughter. I earned whatever comes my way, right?”
He lowered his hands from her face. “That’s bullshit. You were a kid. You’re not a goddamned sociopath. Do you know how many times I drove drunk before I turned twenty? More than I can count. It was dumb and dangerous. But kids do stupid shit. I lucked out and didn’t hurt anyone. You weren’t as lucky. But isn’t losing your sister enough of a life sentence? Do they have to torment you with something you can’t go back and change?”
She closed her eyes, letting his words wash over her. The sincerity in his voice made her want to cry all over again. No one had ever absolved her of her horrible mistake so whole-heartedly. She didn’t deserve that kind of pardon, but his absence of harsh judgment touched her on a level she couldn’t describe.
“I just don’t know if I can do it anymore. I’ve tried my best to be everything my parents want. To be who Ashley would've been had she survived.” She lifted her head and met his eyes. “I even stopped going to concerts and dropped my interest of music because my mother was convinced that it had encouraged my bad behavior.”
His eyebrows dipped low. “What the hell would that have to do with anything?”
“We were coming home from a rock concert that night,” she explained. “My sister wasn’t even into the band. The only reason she snuck out with me was because I begged her to get Grayson to drive us. And if he was going, then she had to be there.”
“If Grayson drove you, how’d you end up behind the wheel?”
She sighed. “I have no idea. I can’t remember anything after we left the concert. I know we were all drinking, but only because Gray filled in the gaps for me. My mind blocked the rest out. Well, until tonight. Some things seeped through.” She pulled a tissue out of her purse and dabbed her running nose. She probably looked like a bad mug shot version of herself right now. “Let’s not talk about it anymore, all right? I’m not usually like this. I’m not a crier.”
"Nothing wrong with getting that shit out." He gave her knee a squeeze and then shrugged out of his suit jacket. “But it's not a problem. Consider the topic dropped. You’re in charge. What would you like to do instead?”
She dried her eyes and took a deep breath, a rebelliousness brewing in her. Today had sucked. Tonight had been worse. And all because she'd been jumping through hoops to do what everyone expected of her today. Badgering Lex for an interview to please her boss. Giving Grayson the benefit of the doubt to please him. Attending the event to please her parents. Doing everything on everyone else's agenda had gotten her nowhere good. She needed a goddamned break.
She plucked her lip-gloss from her purse and ran it over her lips, only a slight tremor in her hand. Then she met Lex's eyes with a steady gaze. “Tonight, I want to forget. At least for a few hours. And you're going to help me.”
“Uh-oh,” he said, blue eyes wary. “That could get messy.”
“I hope so.” She tugged the bobby pins out of her hair, letting the strands fall loose and watching him watch her. “I think I need a little messy in my life tonight.”
CHAPTER 8
Lex nursed his first beer as Aubrey polished off her third martini. For a girl who hadn’t had alcohol in ten years, she was knocking them back rather efficiently. She fished the olive out of the bottom of her glass and brought it to her lips. Her eyes sparkled when they met his. She sucked the pimento out of the olive. Jesus. His shifted his position in the velvet club chair and put his beer down. “Babe, why don’t you let me take you home? Believe me, you don’t want to know what a martini hangover feels like. It’s not pretty.”
She sighed and sagged into her overstuffed chair. “This place is swanky,” she said, swinging her head from left to right. “I should put it o
n my list to review. I bet the food’s delish.”
“We could order you something,” he offered. Something to absorb the alcohol would be good.
She waved her hand at the male waiter, who strode over with a runway walk.
“Yes ma’am,” he said, his face pulled into a practiced primness.
“One more martini, please.”
Lex groaned. “And bring us some of those,” he pointed to the first thing on the tapas menu, “shrimp.”
“Excellent choice,” he said, as if Lex were looking for some kind of approval.
“Ooh, shrimp,” Aubrey said, nodding. “Yum. I love shrimp.”
He chuckled. Even in the dim bluish light of the bar, she looked more beautiful than he had ever seen her. Her hair fell in messy waves around her shoulders, and her face glowed with an almost childlike exuberance. She seemed to be letting herself forget, if only for a little while. Lex took another sip of his beer without moving his eyes away from her.
God, what a fucking nightmare she'd been through. During the entire presentation, he had fought the urge to scoop her up and drag her out of there. He had started the night with the plan to invade her territory and stir things up with her tool of an ex-boyfriend, but he hadn’t planned to witness all of her skeletons laid bare for public viewing. Shit. Who could blame her for wanting to spend the evening in a martini-induced haze?
“Aubrey?” a male voice boomed from behind Lex. He turned to face a short, impeccably dressed man, smiling wide. He stepped around Lex’s chair and sidled up next to Aubrey’s like Lex wasn’t even there. “Aubrey Bordelon?”
Aubrey looked up from her drink and squinted. “Bradley?”
He laughed a high-pitched, nervous laugh that sounded like chipmunks having sex. Well, what Lex imagined that sounded like. “Yeah. I’d never expect to see you here. Isn’t your father’s charity thing tonight?”
Her expression darkened. “It is. I already stopped by.”
Bradley’s smile flickered but didn’t fade. The distinct vibe of asshole radiated from the guy. Lex sat forward in his chair and cleared his throat.