by Barb Han
“And these projects have opposition?” he asked, a dark eyebrow rose.
A frustrated half laugh, half snort ripped from her throat. “Every single one.”
“Who could argue against preventing elder abuse?” Disdain brought down the corners of his lips.
“You’d be surprised,” she said. “Anytime you draw a line in the sand, you separate sides. People may not disagree about educating others about the needs in our community, but everyone will have a different opinion about how to get it done. And I mean everyone. From the mayor to someone’s uncle to the town’s barber.”
“When you put it that way, I believe it.” Holden took a sip of coffee. “We should make a timeline of events and include every meeting you attended recently, especially those with heated debates. Also, I’d like to get the names of everyone who is involved in the organization and any persons who might have something to lose based on outcomes of your decision or decisions you heavily influenced on paper.”
He moved into the kitchen and opened the few drawers until he pulled out a pad of paper and a pen. “This’ll help.”
* * *
AN HOUR AND a half later, Holden stood in the kitchen reading the long list of Ella’s activities. “You’re one busy person.”
“I already said I was involved in the community,” she said, and that solicited a grunt from Holden.
“Involved? Is there anyone else in town doing anything?”
Ella laughed. “I’m sure that I’m forgetting something. Like I said, the days following Dad’s death are a little hazy and my head hurts when I try to overthink.”
“You mean there’s more than this?” He held up the paper. “When do you have time to do anything else?”
“Like what?” she asked.
“Date, for one,” he said.
Ella laughed. “It’d be crazy to empty my schedule and wait for Mr. Right to waltz in when there’s so much to be done. Besides, I already told you about my personal life.”
It looked like a small smile crossed his lips before he took another sip of coffee. “The person who tried to kill you wanted it to look like an accident at first. I’m guessing they were expecting a headline that read Grieving Socialite Falls into Canyon Days after Her Father’s Murder.”
“Right. But the second attempt was out in the open.”
“He could’ve planned to kidnap you and then set the scene once you were secured. No one had seen you since you’d disappeared at Devil’s Lid, so he might’ve figured that he could kill you and stage it to look like an accident.”
“Wouldn’t someone notice the bullet holes?” she asked.
“True. The assailant did shoot but that was most likely out of panic.”
“Now that I think about it, he shot when I fought him off and ran.” She sighed. “Pretty much every household in this part of Texas has a shotgun on property. If not to deter criminals then to shoot predators stalking their herds, so that doesn’t help us.”
Holden nodded again as he examined the list. “There are a lot of names on here. What about friends? Any arguments with the people in your circle?”
“When do I have time?” she quipped. “I do charity work, which I’m passionate about, and I help run the ranch. I barely have time to eat and sleep.”
“That’s a choice,” he said with a look.
“You’re a man on the run and I doubt you’ve made time for friends in the meantime,” she quipped. Yeah, she was being defensive. There was something about detailing the boring nature of her private life to a ridiculously handsome man that put her on edge.
Holden held up a hand in surrender. “I make no claim about being perfect. But I have a good reason to stay solitary. Everyone I get close to ends up dead.”
She started to argue but he’d made a good point. Had she been pushing people out of her life? Keeping everyone at a safe distance? The short answer? Yes. Never knowing her mother and growing up with an emotionally distant father wasn’t exactly the recipe for letting people in. She was as close to her siblings as she could be, but Ella could admit that she’d taken on a mother-like role with them since she was the oldest. At least until the boys were old enough to do what they wanted, and that came early for the independent-minded Butler men. Even now while her life was in danger she was focused on protecting them. Maybe she and Holden had more in common than they wanted to admit.
“Anyone stand out on that list you’re holding?” she asked, figuring she’d done enough self-examination for one day. Her brain hurt and that wasn’t helping her figure out whatever was pressing against the back of her skull. Something was there but she couldn’t reach it, and that was frustrating under the circumstances. The stakes were high and it wasn’t like she was trying to remember her shopping list. Trying to force it didn’t help, though.
“I’d have to dig around and figure out the impact these decisions could make to know anything for certain,” he said.
“Impossible out here with no laptop or Wi-Fi,” she explained. “You already said contacting people is out of the question.”
“When my choices are to keep you safe or investigate, I’m always going to choose the first,” he said, and there was an emotion present behind his eyes that stirred something primal inside her.
Ella ignored it. Sort of. Her body trilled with awareness.
“We could talk it through over lunch,” she said, her stomach rumbling. Had they eaten breakfast?
“I’ll head into town for supplies,” he said. “I don’t like leaving you here alone but it’ll be safer for you if we split up.”
Holden pulled his Sig Sauer out of his duffel and set it next to Ella.
She glanced at the weapon before locking onto his gaze. “I guess I should’ve seen this coming. This is the first time I’ve seen you with a gun.”
“I didn’t need it before now,” he said, and she figured he had a military background by way of his commitment to everything being on a need-to-know basis. “You know how to use it?”
“I have experience with shotguns mostly, but I’ll figure it out if I have to,” she said with sincerity.
He nodded and that should’ve been the end of it. He should’ve walked out the door and gone for supplies. But he stood there like he couldn’t move his feet. It dawned on her why he’d respond that way.
“I’ll be okay. Go ahead,” she urged. “Nothing will happen to me while you’re gone.”
* * *
HOLDEN WAS SURPRISED at how easy it was to talk to Ella. He’d never had a problem closing up and keeping everything locked inside until her. He shocked himself with the amount he’d wanted to share. He’d been a regular Chatty Cathy back there. He reminded himself to tread lightly. It probably had more to do with the fact that he’d barely spoken to a soul in twenty-five months than the possibility that he could have real feelings developing for someone he’d only known a few days.
Granted, there was something about Ella Butler that gave the impression they’d known each other for years, a familiarity he’d never experienced with another person. She was different from the women he usually dated. But this wasn’t the time to get inside his head about it. There were more important issues to think about, like who was trying to ensure she took her last breath. And the issue of him still being on the run after two years in hiding, getting nowhere.
Holden thought about what Rose had told him. The numbers 1-9-6-4 still meant nothing to him and he’d racked his brain during the ride to the small cabin trying to find a connection. He’d first thought it referred to a year and then an address. Nothing came to mind.
Immediately after the murders he’d gone over his last conversations in his head a hundred times, and his thoughts became an endless loop. Looking back from a fresh lens, he thought about his relationship with Pop. How quiet he’d become in those last few weeks before the murders. People talk about intuiti
on all the time. Had Pop sensed something was coming?
Holden parked his motorbike around the side of the country store and purposely kept his sunglasses on to shield at least part of his face. At his height, it was difficult to move undetected and he still felt exposed without a beard. He’d covered his face with one for two years—years that had felt like they’d dragged on for twice that amount.
Ella’s words haunted him. Had he given up?
Holden pushed open the glass door and heard a jingle. The chipper cashier looked up from a magazine and welcomed him. He nodded but kept his face turned away in case there was a camera. Seemed like there was one in every store no matter how remote the location. Technology made it more and more difficult to stay off the radar.
He picked up a basket and loaded it with grilling supplies. Normally, he saved steak for a special occasion. In this case, he wanted to feed Ella a decent meal. Based on her devotion to her causes, she seemed like a good person and deserved at least that much.
Her situation haunted him.
The logical answer was that someone had killed Maverick Mike and had now set his or her sights on Ella. The responsible party had clearly wanted to make a statement with Mike’s death, but something had changed when the person went after Ella. What? His thoughts kept rounding back to the same thing. The person.
He let that thought sit while he approached the cash register.
“This all for you today, mister?” the short brunette cashier chirped. She looked to be in her midtwenties and wore a green shirt and khaki-colored pants.
“Yep.” Holden nodded and quirked a smile. He’d found a small gesture like that put people at ease around him. It wasn’t difficult to find a smile when he thought about the simple pleasure of grilling a good steak and feeding someone he cared about.
Damn.
Ella’s words kept cycling through his thoughts. He’d convinced himself that keeping to himself and staying so far off the grid that he’d become half animal, half man was to keep himself alive until he figured out who was behind Karen’s killing. Losing her had been a blow. His father being killed so soon after had knocked the wind out of Holden. It had only been him and Pop since his mother had disappeared not long after he’d been born. Sure, Pop had made mistakes but the two of them had grown up together and Holden could easily forgive the shortcomings. Hell, he was far from perfect himself. When his old man was killed, a piece of Holden had died. His anger had turned inward and he’d retreated to nature, where he’d been trained to survive.
The cashier chirped an amount and Holden paid with cash. He’d cashed out his savings when he went on the run and had kept a low profile, sleeping in vacant cabins and trapping and cooking most of his own food. He took his bags with a thank-you and forced a casual-looking smile.
The cashier beamed up at him. The twinkle in her eyes said she was flirting. Holden wasn’t the least bit interested. Being with Ella made him realize how far he’d drifted away from the man he used to be before his life had been turned upside down. That needed to change.
Holden kept his head down as he exited the store. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a white sedan with blacked-out windows fly past and a bad feeling took seed deep in his gut.
He broke into a dead run toward his motorcycle as his pulse galloped. His chest clenched at the thought of anything happening to Ella while he was away. He’d left her with his Sig for protection, not really expecting her to need it. Could she even use it on another human being? A moment of truth like that only came when confronted with the situation. He muttered a few curses after quickly securing the grocery items. He released the clutch and gravel spewed from underneath his back tire.
Ella should never be faced with a kill-or-be-killed situation. Holden should know. He’d had to when he was in the service. And taking someone’s life, even an enemy, wasn’t something a decent man took lightly.
With the agility of his motorcycle, he caught up to the sedan in no time. As he neared, he heard music blaring. Teenagers?
He whipped around the vehicle in order to get a look at the driver. A strong honk-like sound caused him to look up in time to realize he was about to go head-on with a semi.
Holden zipped around the white car. In his rearview, he could see the driver clearly. He was male and too young to buy a real drink. Relief was short-lived. Holden needed to see Ella with his own eyes and know that she was fine. In the future, he’d figure out a way to take her with him when he left for supplies because being away from her, not knowing if she was safe, did bad things to his mind.
By the time he navigated up the drive, checking several times to ensure no one had followed him, his nerves were shot. She was waiting outside, sitting in the sun, when he parked behind the shack. Seeing her caused a jolt of need to strike him like stray voltage. Holden was done. Done biting down an urge so primal his bones ached. Done holding her back when she’d been so clear that she wanted the same thing. Done protecting her from him. She needed to know that she meant something to him. So he walked right over to her and hauled her against his chest. Her sweet body molded to his. Her fingers tunneled inside his hair as he pressed his forehead to hers. “We can’t let this go any further, but I had to hold you.”
This close, he could feel her body tremble and need welled inside him. The feel of her soft skin under his hands connected to a life he used to know only this somehow was better. Sexual chemistry crackled in the air around them. Sex couldn’t happen but he was done fighting the need to be close to her.
She looked up at him with those cornflower blue eyes and he almost faltered. He reminded himself to keep a grip on his emotions.
“What happened?” she asked.
“There was a car...”
“And you thought it was coming for me,” she finished when he paused.
“Yes.” He closed his eyes to shut out the other possibilities, the ones that involved him not making it to her in time.
“Are you okay?” she asked, and there was so much concern in her voice.
“I am now,” he said, and she didn’t seem to need him to elaborate. She just leaned into him and wrapped her arms around his neck. The movement pressed her full breasts against his chest and for a half second he pictured them naked, tangled in the sheets in a place far away from here.
But that wasn’t reality and Holden didn’t do fairy tales.
He took in a sharp breath.
“I’ll make lunch,” he said.
Ella took a step back, away from him, seeming to understand that he needed space. Damn, it was going to be difficult to leave her once this was all over.
For now, he needed to concentrate on giving her her life back. She had plans, meetings and causes to fight for.
What did he have?
A ghost of a life. No family to speak of. Yeah, his life couldn’t be more opposite. Another in a long list of reasons he needed to maintain his distance. He would only bring her down.
He was cursed.
Chapter Twelve
Ella smiled as she took another bite of perfectly cooked steak. The potato with all the fixings was just as amazing. “I’m impressed with your cooking skills.”
“Don’t be. Coffee and steak are all I can do,” he said with a crooked smile. She was grateful for the break in tension between them and even more so that her comment brought out a lighter side of him. He looked pleased with himself and like a different person than the one who’d arrived an hour ago. Ghost white with anger written all over his face, Ella could see beyond the mask to the absolute fear inside him.
And then he’d taken her in his arms.
Their sexual chemistry was off the charts and she figured mostly because it felt like death lurked around every corner. The thought that one of them could be gone in an instant when they’d grown to depend on each other solely for survival was odd considering that she hadn’t even known the
man existed a week ago. Yes, there’d been an instant attraction even before he’d shaved the beard. The feeling had intensified the more time they spent together. A small piece of her—a piece she didn’t want to give too much consideration—needed to acknowledge that there was more to their attraction than proximity and circumstance. The rest of her realized that none of it mattered because he carried too much baggage from the past to let it go anywhere. And where would it go? He was wanted for murder and someone was trying to kill her.
When she thought about it in those terms—and really all she could do was laugh—they were quite a pair.
The feeling that something lurked in the far reaches of her mind that she couldn’t access frustrated her. She told herself that was the only reason she was preoccupied with her feelings toward Holden.
“What?” he asked, breaking into her thoughts.
“Nothing.” She shook her head.
“Whatever it is made you smile and then frown.” He set his fork down on his plate. “You should smile more.”
If only he knew that she’d been thinking about him.
“It’s the food,” she lied. “Even if you are a one-trick pony as you claim to be, it’s a mighty fine trick.”
That netted a genuine smile from Holden. He should do it more, too. She imagined a life before his world was turned upside down where he laughed easily, held cookouts in the backyard and perfected his coffee-making skills.
“What was your life like before...?” she asked.
He shrugged his massive shoulders. “The usual stuff. Opening-day baseball with Pop in the spring. No matter where we lived we always drove to Queens to watch the season opener.”
“What was he like? Your father?” Ella figured Holden would stop her if she touched on a subject he couldn’t talk about.
“Quiet. Kept to himself mostly. He and my mother, if you can call her that, had me when they were young. Dear old Mom took off and Pop joined the military after Rose’s urging. We moved around a lot, going from base to base. And he was gone for long stretches but the military was family and we managed to get by. Rose was like a mother to me.”