by Barb Han
“Why not right here?” he asked, and his voice was husky as he trailed his finger along the line of her jaw. He dipped down and kissed her collarbone. A thousand volts shot through her as need welled up, low in her belly.
“Holden,” she started but stopped.
“What about here?” He caught her stare for a few seconds and then dipped his head down again. This time, he kissed the spot where her pulse pounded at the base of her neck.
“We shouldn’t...”
“Tell me to stop and I will,” he said, holding her gaze. There was so much power and promise in that one look from him. This time, she knew better than to seek comfort in his arms. How many times had he pulled away from her every time they got close already?
She tried to form the words but couldn’t. She wanted him to keep going until they were lost in each other, in complete bliss and a tangle of arms and legs.
So she looked him dead in the eyes.
“What if I can’t?” she asked. “What if I want this?”
Holden swallowed, slicked his tongue across his lips and captured her mouth. He was warm and tasted like the coffee they’d had earlier. Awareness trilled through her at his nearness, at how fast his heart pounded. She brought her hand up to his chest and ran her fingers along the layers of muscle. She smoothed her hand over his masculine pecs.
He captured both of her hands in his, braiding their fingers, and lifted them over her head. Movement thrust her breasts forward and he groaned when the tips of her nipples brushed against him. They beaded and her breasts swelled, needing to be touched. He let go of her right hand and palmed her breast as she arched her back.
Ella opened her eyes and the world tilted when Holden did the same. A bolt of electricity shot through her and she immediately realized that she was in deep trouble.
“Can I keep going?” he asked.
“Yes,” she responded without thinking—thinking would have her realize this wouldn’t go anywhere. One night sounded amazing and great sex would dim some of the tension pinging between them...
All rational thinking stalled when he brushed his thumb across her nipple and her stomach quivered. Tension corded her muscles, needing relief that only Holden could give.
Ella leaned against the solid vehicle behind her and brought her hands up to Holden’s shoulders. Her fingers dug into his shirt as he made her body hum with need by trailing his tongue across her collarbone. Not having sex had never felt so sexy.
His hands cupped her bottom and she wrapped her legs around his toned midsection after he lifted her off her feet. She tunneled her fingers in his hair and his tongue slid in her mouth as his erection pressed into her sex. A familiar force started building inside her body as her tongue roamed freely. She bit his bottom lip as ecstasy pulsed through her. All her senses heightened, her breath started coming out in quick bursts and she could feel that his was, too.
The fact that they were in a garage fully clothed took nothing away from the intimacy and heat of the moment.
“Holden,” she managed to say against his mouth, breathless.
“I know.” He nipped the conversation in the bud. “This can’t go any further.”
“Not right now,” she said, trying to steady her rapid breathing.
He didn’t immediately move and she was grateful.
“This, whatever’s happening between us, is moving too fast,” she said.
“I know.” He surprised her with his response. “We need to take it slow.”
“That would be smart,” she said, even though her body begged for more.
“We have time to do this the right way,” he continued.
A trill of awareness goose bumped her arms and her stomach free-fell. He feathered a kiss on her neck. And then another slow one against her lips. She loved the way he tasted.
“That’s the only way I know how to do things,” she said. There was so much craziness going on all around them, and yet this was the only thing that made sense to her. She’d never felt this strong of a pull toward another man and that excited and scared her at the same time.
“I could really like you,” he said so quietly she almost didn’t hear him.
Ella didn’t respond. She just stood there with Holden for countless minutes, letting the world stop for just one moment. She wasn’t grieving or running or scared. And the world had a strange sense of rightness that she’d never felt before.
Without analyzing it, she breathed in the calm feeling that came over her. Then she wrapped her arms around Holden’s neck and looked him in the eye. He had that same hunger she felt deep in her stomach and she needed to let go with him. Life was crazy. Tomorrow wasn’t guaranteed. They had this moment. Right now. Letting it slip through their fingers would be a costly mistake.
Ella pressed up onto her tiptoes and his mouth came crashing down on hers. No words were needed to move things forward. She could feel his body humming with the same awareness and desire rippling through her.
He brought his hand up and cradled her neck, tilting her head back a little as his tongue brushed against the tips of her teeth. She pushed him back long enough to help him out of his shirt and a few seconds later hers joined his on the floor.
Holden pressed his lips to hers as he cupped her breasts and groaned. “You’re beautiful.”
“So are you,” she said against his mouth.
His hands wrapped around her back, unsnapped her bra and then it joined the shirts on the floor.
Her chest rose and fell quickly as tension heightened her nerves with anticipation. She brought her hands to the waistband of his jeans and tugged at the zipper. He helped her take his off and then her jogging shorts and panties flew to the floor.
She pulled his masculine body against her, her back against the SUV. His erection pulsed against her stomach and she wrapped her legs around his midsection as he lifted her. He eased her down on his full shaft, dipping the head inside and groaned with pleasure when he discovered that she was ready for him. She wiggled her hips until she could take in his full length.
“Holden,” she whispered, tangling her fingers in his thick, wavy hair. The feeling of her naked skin against his brought on a wave of ecstasy and anticipation.
He drove himself inside her, his hands on either side of her hips as his mouth found hers.
She said his name again and he thrust deeper in response. Her entire body hummed with need as all her emotions heightened. She matched his thrust this time and then the next. Faster. Harder. Deeper. Until her entire body begged for release. His hands caressed her bottom as he drove inside her until she tipped over the edge of the precipice and free-fell as explosions filled her.
“Holden.” She breathed his name as she felt him reach the peak. His muscles corded with tension as she ground her sex on his erection until he rocketed toward the same release.
She had no idea how long he stood holding her in the garage before he finally opened his eyes.
“Ella.” Hearing her name spoken softly into her ear was the sweetest sound coming from him.
As her breathing returned to normal, Holden pressed his forehead to hers. He didn’t immediately move away and she liked that he didn’t. His hands cupped her neck and hers had dropped to his waist. It felt so right to stand there with him in the quiet.
Neither spoke as he eased her to her feet. Neither had to. The silence was comforting. He picked up her clothes first and she admired his glorious body for another few seconds before he dressed.
He gazed at her with a look of appreciation as she dressed and it felt like the most natural thing to be naked with Holden, another foreign feeling.
Once they were dressed, he palmed the keys. He clicked the button to unlock the door and then opened her side first.
Life was short and all her careful planning felt stifling now. Being with him made her feel alive. At first, she’d
chalked it up to adrenaline rushes and danger. But it was Holden. What was so wrong with taking it a step further? Of completely letting go and being with this man in every sense of the words?
One word came to mind. Love.
Ella had fallen down that slope and risked her heart being shattered. Sure, she’d been with other men, but she’d never felt this deep of a connection during sex than she did with Holden. Mind-altering, heart-all-in sex.
And when he walked away, her heart would be shattered into a million tiny pieces and scattered across the ranch. She’d already lost her father. While this was no comparison, she couldn’t risk losing anyone else. There wouldn’t be enough pieces of her to pick up.
Their temporary shelter against the world was about to disappear. She knew full well that they couldn’t stay there forever. And yet a piece of her heart wanted exactly that, to hide out with Holden until the rest of the world forgot about both of them, to stay in each other’s arms, found instead of lost in the world.
“Ready?” he asked, turning the key in the ignition.
“As much as I’ll ever be,” she responded.
“Let’s see what kind of trouble we can get ourselves into,” he said with a wink and a smile that unleashed a thousand butterflies in her stomach.
Ella, who never let anyone break inside her walls, was in serious trouble.
Chapter Sixteen
The highway stretched on for miles. Ella had finally fallen asleep in the passenger seat. And Holden tried to ignore the ache in his chest. He’d stepped in where he had no business going earlier. Caring about her more wasn’t going to help their...situation, for lack of a better word, one bit.
The physical attraction pinging between them was one thing. This was another. It was so much deeper than that. The air had changed between them after sex and he needed to protect her more than he needed to breathe. The problem was that nothing had changed. Being seen with him was still a death sentence. He had to figure out a way to give her back her life. He’d bring justice to the men who’d killed his loved ones. Holden was alive again for the first time in two years and his anger bubbled to the surface—anger that had been at a steady simmer since he’d walked inside his house and seen that lifeless body.
And he had a problem because his feelings for Ella were out of control. He needed to bring them back down to earth because they were dangerous for her. It didn’t matter the pain it would cause him; he had to push her away for her own sake.
Could he, though?
Holden watched as cars zipped around him. Morning light was close and there was a motel off the highway where they could get a couple of hours of shut-eye. He grabbed a room key and walked her inside.
The place had two full-size beds and a decent shower, so they could clean up and get a nice meal not far from there. Holden had made this drive on his motorcycle more than once over the years. A piece of him felt contentment with Ella that he’d never experienced before. Leaving her was going to hurt like hell.
“You shower first,” he said.
“Okay.” She blinked her eyes up at him and he’d be damned but he kissed her.
Holden palmed his father’s favorite baseball card as he waited for Ella to finish her shower. When this was all over, he would circle back to Rose. One way or another, this would end. Ella made him see that he’d stopped living, stopped caring. The only thing that had been keeping him alive was his promise to his father and the fact that Rose needed him.
He flipped the card around his fingers, frustrated that he was missing something. His father had been obsessed with Hank Aaron and then Rose had passed along the message 1-9-6-4, which could be a combination or address.
Holden studied the card.
“What are you thinking about so intensely?” Ella asked, and he hadn’t even realized she’d turned off the water.
“I’m missing something.” He sighed sharply. “What does 1-9-6-4 mean?”
“A home address?” she asked.
“I thought about that, too. Seems like I would remember something and that could be anywhere.” He held up the card and flipped it around his fingers. Staring at the back, he said, “1-9-6-4 could be 1964, as in the year.”
Hank Aaron’s batting average in 1964 was 340.
“What does 340 mean?” she asked.
He pulled the strongbox from his duffel and set it on the bed in between them. She looked up at him and it seemed to dawn on her.
“The combination.” Holden punched in the numbers and the box cracked open. He thumbed through ledgers, pages and pages of documented illegal activity. His father was involved in illegal activity?
“Pop got himself into trouble,” he said. From what Holden could tell, his father was being forced to use his interstate moving company to move other things. “And the Hampshire Police Chief is involved.”
Ella touched his shoulder.
“They were after Pop all along,” he said, and it was like a balloon in his chest had deflated when he exhaled.
“Why? Seems like he was cooperating.” Ella studied the documents over his shoulder.
An envelope fell out of the papers with Holden’s name on it.
He ripped it open. The note from his father read “If you’re reading this, things must’ve gotten bad. Chief Mallory approached me a year ago with an offer he said I couldn’t refuse. He wasn’t kidding and made it clear. I cooperated. At first, it was small stuff, a little bit of narcotics and weapons. It grew fast. Then one of my drivers disappeared with a shipment. Forgive me? Love, Pop.”
“They must’ve tried to get to him through you,” Ella said.
“All this time I thought it was my fault. I thought I did something to cause the deaths that followed me. I thought I was responsible for Pop being killed.” Holden fisted the paper. A mix of sadness and anger and a little bit of hope that this could end filled him.
“I bet the people who showed up at your place that morning thought they would find you, wanting to use you against your father.” Ella sat back on her knees. “Karen was in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
“That cost her her life, which is something I take seriously.”
Ella nodded. “The cop tried to kill you. The police chief must’ve believed you knew or were in on it somehow.”
“And then I went into hiding and they couldn’t track me. They tortured and killed Pop because they believed he was involved in that shipment disappearing,” he said, anger filled him. “I wish I’d known what Pop had gotten involved in.”
“Your dad must’ve realized how deadly this information could be,” she said. “He was trying to protect you.”
Holden no longer cared what happened to him. He had to bring the chief to justice for his father and Karen’s sakes. Otherwise, their deaths meant nothing. “There was a young attorney general who’d been trying to make a case against the chief for something. I can’t remember what exactly. I don’t even know if he’s still after the chief, but I need to turn this information over to him.”
“First, we’ll call. Make sure he knows this is coming from you and that you are in no way involved,” she said. “And then we’ll FedEx the documents. This is all the proof he’ll need to bring the chief to justice.”
“I don’t want to wait. We can stop off on the way to Cattle Barge to send these,” he said.
“We’ll make a copy. Just in case,” she said.
“Let’s get out of here.” Holden dared to imagine a normal life again. Friday night date nights and a cold beer while watching a game. It had been out of reach for so long that it seemed foreign now. Like all that was a lifetime ago, similar to when he’d returned from overseas after three tours.
And it was still at arm’s length. Because he was still wanted for murder.
* * *
THE MOTEL ROOM was wiped down and empty inside of twenty minutes. Tension
radiated from Holden as he took the wheel of the SUV.
“It’s going to work out,” Ella reassured, noticing the white-knuckle grip Holden had on the steering wheel.
“What if they’ve gotten to the attorney general?” He started the engine and navigated out of the pay-by-the-night motel parking lot. “He may want to strike a deal instead of clearing my name.”
“He won’t,” she reassured. “We have definitive proof that you weren’t involved and if the attorney general doesn’t want to do the right thing, we’ll go to the media.”
Holden nodded and she was satisfied that he believed her.
“I wish Pop would’ve told me before. I could’ve prevented his death.” He pulled onto the highway.
“And involve you even more?” she asked. “He loved you too much for that. You would’ve taken this up for him and he knew it. You would’ve ended up dead and he wouldn’t have been able to live with himself.”
“I had a chance. I could’ve gotten to him sooner,” he said, and she could see the torment he was putting himself through.
“You have to accept the fact that even though you’re a grown man capable of defending yourself and everyone else around you, your father is still your father. If he’s anything like you, and I’m guessing the apple didn’t fall far from the tree, then he would rather trade his life if it meant saving yours. Besides, he probably blamed himself for not figuring a way out of this sooner.”
Holden paused thoughtfully. He focused on the patch of road ahead with a nod.
“I just wish he hadn’t been so stubborn,” he said. “I could’ve kept him alive.”
“I’m sorry, Holden. I really am. Fathers are hardwired to protect their children no matter how old we are. Yours sounds like a good man, an honest man until his back was against the wall. He didn’t deserve what happened to him. And neither did you.” She twirled a pen in between her fingers.
Holden gave her a look of appreciation.