Lily shot him a look that said, really?
Cole seemed not to have noticed. He pointed a finger from Lily to Sloan like he was trying to connect the dots.
“Is that why you guys moved in together?”
Lily didn’t glance at Sloan, but the answer was written perfectly across her face.
Cole looked at Sloan, disgust darkening his features. “You fucked my best friend?”
“Cole!” Lily’s gasp of outrage was overshadowed by Cole’s temper hitting the roof.
Chapter Seven ~ Lily
“You son of a bitch!” Cole snarled. “I can’t believe you would do something like that.”
Lily bristled. “What’s that supposed to mean?” she demanded.
Cole turned frigid blue eyes on her. “It means he’s a hypocrite!” Cole shot back. “All my life, he’s warned me to wear a condom, to not have a baby until I’m in a good place. Yet, he ruined your whole future because he’s a hypocrite.” He shot Sloan a disgusted sneer. “You’re a selfish son of a bitch, Sloan!”
“Hey!” Lily jumped in before Sloan could even think of something to say. “First of all, this isn’t his fault. Second—”
“Not his fault? Lily, he knocked you up!” His nostrils flared as he rounded on his brother once more. “You better be doing the right thing by her, because I swear to God—”
“Stop it!” Lily hit the table just hard enough to stop Cole, and to calm some of the anger and terror clashing through her own system. “It’s not his baby, Cole! It’s—”
Sloan’s hand landed on Lily’s thigh, silencing her with a gentle, but firm squeeze.
“What?” Cole demanded. “Whose baby is it?”
Tirade interrupted, Lily faltered a moment before responding, “Mine!” she blurted. “It’s my baby.”
Cole rolled his eyes. “Typical,” he spat. “I swear it would fucking kill you to just accept help, even when it’s clearly something beyond even your limits.” He sucked in a breath, visibly trying to restrain himself. “So, what’s the plan?”
Lily blinked. Her gaze darted to Sloan questioningly before moving back to Cole. “Plan?”
“Yeah, when are you getting married?”
“Married?” Lily cried, horrified. “Why does everyone think that just because you’re having a baby, you need to get married?”
“Because that’s what you do when you’re pregnant, Lily!” Cole growled. “You get married and you give that kid a stable, loving home.”
“Says who?”
“Everyone!” he said, throwing his arms open wide and nearly knocking Beth in the face. “Damn it, Lily. The kid needs a mom and a dad.”
“No, it doesn’t!”
“Yes, it does!”
They were both shouting now, loud enough for the whole restaurant to hear every word.
“No, it doesn’t!”
“Why?”
Lily, feeling cornered and furious, said the first thing that popped into her head. “Because I’m not keeping it!”
Cole jerked back as though she’d thrown her drink in his face. Beth gasped and quickly covered it with her hand. Sloan … Sloan didn’t move, nor did he look at her. The muscles in his cheek bunched.
Cole recovered first. “What?”
Breathing hard enough to make her head buzz and her vision blur, Lily squeezed her eyes shut and waited for the feeling of lightheadedness to fade.
“Are you kidding me?” Cole continued to press.
“Let it go, Cole,” Sloan mumbled, still staring viciously at the wall.
“Let it … are you fucking kidding me?” He shook his head wildly. “Hell no are you getting rid of my niece or nephew! Are you insane? You can’t even do that, not unless Sloan agrees, which he won’t, right?” He didn’t even give Sloan a chance to speak. “We’ll both fight you on this, Lil. That baby belongs with his family. You can’t just take him away.”
“Cole, stop,” she pleaded, her heart drumming violently between her ears.
“No, I won’t,” he said. “As the uncle, I have every right to—”
“Cole, stop!” It was Beth this time. She placed a hand on his arm. “Stop. Lily is under a lot of stress right now, pushing her isn’t going to make the situation better. I mean, if Sloan has already agreed—”
Cole’s head jerked in his brother’s direction. “Did you agree to this?”
“Cole!”
He ignored Beth’s attempts to regain his attention. “Are you letting her give the baby away?”
“Do you think I haven’t tried everything already to change her mind?” Sloan hissed through tightly clenched teeth. “There isn’t anything I can do!”
Cole waited a full heartbeat, glancing between Lily and Sloan before jerking his wallet out and tossing a bunch of bills onto the table.
“Come on,” he said. “I know a guy who can get you guys married in like an hour.”
“No!” Lily and Beth cried on unison.
“I’m not getting married, Cole,” Lily said.
“Why not?” Fire leaped behind Cole’s eyes. “Is my brother good enough to screw around with, but not good enough to marry? Is he not good enough for you, Lil? Or maybe you think he’ll be like our dad. Go ahead and say it.”
“Cole, knock it the fuck off!” Sloan snarled.
Never in nineteen years had Lily ever felt like she hated Cole, but in that moment, she hated him, hated everything he was saying, because, while none of them were true, they hurt coming from him.
“Fuck you,” she whispered as the first tear slid down her cheek.
Before anyone could stop her, she shoved out of the booth and ran from the restaurant. She hit the glass doors and stumbled into the crisp, autumn night. Behind her, someone called her back. She ignored it and dove into the crowd heading towards the main road. She didn’t stop until her feet touched the shopping district. People milled in all directions, entering and exiting stores with their bags. Cars raced past. No one took notice of her as she turned west and started walking at a brisk pace.
I am a bad person. The mantra played in a loop, distracting her from all other sights and sounds. Her heart broke with every drag of her weary feet pulling over concrete. The cold breeze shifted and slammed at her from all sides, but it was nothing compared to the chill rising from deep within the pit of her own stomach as the reality of her choices pounded into her.
She was pregnant with her best friend’s baby, a best friend she couldn’t tell, because to do so would destroy everything he had going for him. His brother, the man Lily loved with a passion that was terrifying, wanted to marry her, give the baby and her a home, and still everything inside her wanted to run. Yet, she had moved in with said brother when he had asked, knowing, that by doing so, she was letting him think she had changed her mind about keeping a baby she had no right having.
“What the hell are you doing, Lily?” she moaned tearfully to herself. “What are you doing?”
She sunk down on a bus bench and stared at the flashing lights all around her. People passed by without sparing her a glance, not that she cared what any of them thought; her life was in shambles and, in a few months, she would be bringing an innocent little person into that mess.
Every part of her wanted to die.
“Excuse me? Are you waiting for the seventeen?”
Lily looked up as a tiny woman with a head full of white curls and sparkling gray eyes smiled down at her. She wore a thick, blue coat with gold buttons that were fastened all the way to her chin and thin, silver glasses. She leaned heavily on the cane in her knobby hands and in the harsh lights around them, her skin appeared translucent.
“I’m sorry?”
“The bus, dear,” the woman said, gesturing to the sign.
“Oh.” Lily cleared her throat. “I’m not waiting for the bus. Sorry.”
The woman sighed as she shuffled her weight sideways and gingerly lowered herself down on the bench next to Lily.
“That’s all right,” she said. �
��Neither am I. I don’t even know where the seventeen goes.”
Lily frowned. “Then why…?”
The woman shrugged. “Because you looked like you needed someone to talk to.”
“I’m okay,” Lily lied. “Thank you.”
For several moments, the woman said nothing and together, they sat watching traffic speed by.
“I was at bingo,” the woman said. “Didn’t win anything.” She exhaled dejectedly. “Never do, yet I continue to go every Saturday.”
Lily couldn’t help herself. “Why?”
“No reason,” the woman answered. “Sometimes in life, we do things just because. Other times, we’re compelled to because the universe has a much bigger plan for us. For example, had I not gone tonight, I would never have met you.”
Lily looked down at her fingers twisting and knotting together in her lap. “I don’t think meeting me will be the high point of your night.”
“Oh, I don’t know about that.” The woman cocked her head to the side. “What’s your name?”
“Lily.”
The woman smiled. “Lily,” she repeated with a fondness that made Lily’s mouth twitch into an almost smile. “Why are you sitting out here in the cold?”
And just like that, Lily found herself telling the strange woman everything. Maybe it was because she was an objective and neutral party, but Lily found herself desperately needing someone to untangle the web she had weaved. She needed someone to tell her what to do. If nothing else, it was nice having someone listen.
When she was finished, the woman remained quiet. Lily, feeling a thousand pounds lighter without all of that on her chest, didn’t push her. They watched the number seventeen bus roll to a stop in front of them, deposit a small crowd of people and then roll away. Finally, just when it looked like the woman may have fallen asleep, she spoke.
“Why did you move in with Sloan?”
Lily, having gotten comfortable with the silence, jumped. “Sorry?”
The woman looked at her. “Why did you move in with Sloan?”
“Because he asked me—”
“That’s not why,” the woman interrupted. “Because he also asked you to marry him, and keep the baby, but you didn’t want to do either of those things. So, I have to wonder, why move in with him if you don’t plan to stay with him, or keep the baby?”
“I don’t know…”
“You do know.”
Filled to the brim with frustration, Lily shot her a glower. “I don’t know!”
The woman seemed unaffected by Lily’s growl. “Well, think about it then. Why didn’t you marry him?”
“Because he asked me over a bowl of vomit,” Lily snapped. “And he only asked me because of the baby.”
“Why did you move in with him, Lily?”
“Because I didn’t want to be alone.”
“But you weren’t alone,” the woman countered. “You had Sloan and your parents. You didn’t have to move in with him.”
Lily was beginning to really dislike this woman.
“What do you want me to say?”
“I want you to tell me why you agreed to move in with him.”
Lily ground her teeth together, her patience and aggravation taking a toll. But even she wanted to know why. What had been her reason? If she didn’t want to keep the baby, what difference did it make where she was? Why did it matter that Sloan be there with her? Why did it matter that she not be alone?
“I want to keep the baby,” she whispered, more to herself than the woman next to her.
The moment it hit home, Lily could breathe again. The noose constricting her chest unraveled and she gasped.
The woman chuckled. “But you already knew that.”
Yes, she had always known that, had she the choice, she would keep the baby, but…
“It hadn’t been a real possibility until Sloan asked me to move in with him,” she blurted. “That’s why I said yes.”
“So why didn’t you marry him then?”
Some of the warm, light feeling evaporated.
“Because I love him.” Her voice hitched and she quickly looked away. “And he only wants to get married because I’m pregnant with his brother’s baby. He feels responsible. That’s what Sloan does, he fixes problems. I tell him I’m pregnant, he asks me to marry him. I tell him my house is falling apart, he fixes it. I tell him I don’t have the means, or space to raise a baby, he asks me to move in with him. Sloan is one of the most selfless and kindhearted people I know and here I am, wrecking his life.”
All the happiness that had filled her fizzed out and she was left feeling cold and hollow.
“What do you mean?”
The world around them shone and sparkled like a million stars through the tears gathering in Lily’s eyes.
“I moved in with him because I wanted someone to help me raise the baby. What kind of woman does that? It’s not his baby, but I’m going to shackle him to it. I’m going to make him pay for its clothes and diapers, because I am a selfish bitch. What happens when one day, he meets a woman, falls in love and wants to start a family? I would be taking his entire future away from him.” Lily shook her head, spilling the tears down her cheeks. “I can’t keep it. I can’t let Sloan give everything up because of my mistake. He deserves better.”
“Why don’t you let me be the judge of that?”
Every nerve ending in Lily’s body jumped with a mixture of fright, panic and delight at the familiar voice that cut through her misery. She shot to her feet and whirled.
“Sloan.”
His face was flushed and he was still breathing heavily like he’d run all the way there. His blue eyes were burning pits, devouring her from head to toe. His feet made no sound as he started around the bench to stand before her.
“How long have you been standing there?” she wondered, her heart beating a little too quick in her chest.
He never looked away from her face. There was no shame, or guilt, just a quiet heat that washed over her hotter than a balmy July night.
“Somewhere around the time you said you loved me.”
Lily’s heart rocketed with panic. Her jaw dropped in horror. She stared at him, too scared to speak.
“Did you mean it?”
Lily swallowed multiple times, but no matter how hard she tried, her mouth remained stubbornly dry. All words failed her.
“Lily.” Some of the intensity softened. His words were gentle, pleading.
“I’m sorry,” she croaked.
Something flickered over his face. “Why?”
She nervously licked her lips. “Because I don’t want you to hate me.” Her bottom lip trembled and she bit down hard on it. “I couldn’t bear it if…”
He reached for her. His fingers glided down the length of her arm to curl around her hand. He drew her to him, close enough so she was cocooned in his warmth.
“Why would I hate you?”
“Because I know I’m not your favorite person and I know you only ever put up with me because of Cole and because I never wanted you to find out.”
He released her and raised the hand to support the back of her skull as his nearness forced her head back. His chest brushed hers and the shock of it scattered a shower of electricity throughout her body. She would have gasped if her face wasn’t suddenly so unimaginably close to his.
“Lily,” he whispered so lightly she almost mistook it for a breath. “God, Lily, I should be the one who is sorry. I should never have behaved the way I did. I should never have let you believe I couldn’t stand the sight of you, because it wasn’t true.” He traced the lines of her face with his eyes. “The truth is you have always been that distant light keeping me sane every time my father came home, drunk and looking to kick the crap out of someone. You are my safe place, Lily, and I have been in love with you for so long that I don’t even know how to live without it.”
Then he kissed her. It was wet and tasted of tears and joy, but it was the most beautiful sensation Lily had e
ver experienced. He tasted of hope, love and possibility, so much possibility she wanted to cling to it and never let go. It almost didn’t seem possible that it was Sloan in her arms, that it was Sloan’s mouth moving over hers, that it was Sloan’s hands in her hair and flattening against the lower part of her spine. It was all real, yet it felt like a dream.
She pulled away. Her eyes opened slowly, almost hesitantly and she peeked up into the face inches from hers.
It was still him.
Her heart swelled.
“I meant it,” she whispered. “I love you, Sloan. I’ve always loved you.”
His eyes darkened and the fist in her hair tightened. “Say it again.”
A smile stole across her face. “I love you.”
With a low growl, he lowered his brow and rested it over hers. “I will never get tired of hearing that.” He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply, like he could somehow ingest those three words into his body. Then his eyes opened and they were no longer kind and gentle, but fierce and angry. “Why did you take off like that?”
Guilt drew her gaze down to the zipper of his jacket. “I’m sorry.”
His slow exhale whispered over her face, cool against her already chilled cheeks. “Damn it, Lily, you scared the hell out of us.”
Lily lifted her eyes to his. “I don’t think you’ll be like your father, Sloan. Cole was wrong about that. You are nothing like him. One day, you will be an amazing dad. But it shouldn’t be out of obligation and it shouldn’t be with someone who can’t even get her own life straight. I know you think you’re doing the noble thing right now by claiming this baby as yours, but it’s not and one day, you are going to want to start your own family with the person you care about and…”
“And you think I’ll stop loving this one,” he finished.
Lily looked away. “You would have a family, one that is really yours.”
“I have a family, Lily,” he murmured. “I have Cole and this baby, and if you’ll let me, you. Nothing and no one can change that.”
“Then why does it feel so wrong letting you help me raise this baby?”
“You don’t understand.” He pushed a strand of hair off her cheek. “There is very little I wouldn’t do for you, and I have thought about marrying you for longer than is probably considered appropriate and it was never out of obligation. I want a family with you, Lily, starting with this one.”
Forever His Baby Page 13