by Brenda Novak
He went in through the front, to say good-night to anyone who might be up. He couldn’t go straight to his room, though, when he found Mack sitting at the kitchen table in the light that spilled from the entry, drinking a beer. His brother had obviously come from bed. He was wearing nothing except a pair of boxers—another reason Rod was glad he’d told India she could use the deck entrance. But Mack half-naked wasn’t the problem. Mack being upset was.
“What’s going on?” Rod asked. The TV wasn’t even on in the other room. Why was his youngest brother sitting alone in the dark?
“Nothing.”
Something was wrong. He studied Mack, looking for clues, but couldn’t figure it out. His hair was mussed, as if he’d been running his hands through it, and he seemed to be in a bad mood, which was unusual for him. But...why?
When Mack offered no explanation, Rod walked over to the fridge to get himself a drink. “You don’t want to talk about it?”
Mack took a long pull on his beer. “There isn’t anything to talk about.”
“You’re pissed off.” Or maybe he’d had his feelings hurt, but Rod wasn’t going to suggest that. It was the least attractive option for someone like Mack—for any of them—to admit to. “I think I know you well enough to pick up on that.”
“Just can’t sleep.”
He sat down across from his brother. “Because...”
Mack’s broad shoulders lifted in a shrug. “Too hot, I guess.”
Hot? The air conditioner was chugging along. Rod thought it was actually a little chilly in the house. But he didn’t contradict him. He cracked open his own beer. “Grady still out?”
“No. Came in a couple of hours ago. He’s in bed now.”
Rod paused before bringing the bottle to his lips. “His truck isn’t in the drive.”
“Natasha took it.”
“When?”
“About ten minutes ago.”
“Did Grady tell her she could?”
“Doubt it.”
Rod took a swallow of his beer. “So where’d she go?”
“No clue.”
That was surprising. Mack usually knew where Natasha was. That was one of the things that made Rod uncomfortable. His youngest brother kept close tabs on her—like the other night, at Sexy Sadie’s. Mack was the one who’d noticed that Liam was bothering her. And once Natasha decided to leave, Mack didn’t stay much longer. It was almost as if he got bored when she wasn’t around.
Rod checked the time on his phone. “It’s after midnight.”
“I know.”
So that was it. Mack was worried about Natasha. Maybe they’d even had a fight. “You don’t think she’s in any kind of trouble...”
Mack stared at his bottle as he turned it around and around. “Who knows?”
“Well, she’s not old enough to get into the bar. They only allow eighteen and up on Fridays, when they have certain bands. So she can’t be at Sexy Sadie’s.”
“If they figure they can get away with it, they let hot chicks in, anyway.”
“Those would be hot chicks from out of the area. Everyone knows how old Natasha is. So where else might she go? A friend’s?”
“You might have noticed she doesn’t have a lot of friends,” he said with a degree of sarcasm. “None she’s particularly close to, anyway. She’s never really fit in with that giggling group she’s had over a couple of times or anyone else at the high school. She mostly hangs out with us.”
Rod had noticed. He also felt he knew why. “If she just left, it’s too soon to panic. Maybe she’ll be right back.”
Mack began to peel the label off his beer. “I don’t think she will.”
“Then...what do you want me to do?” Rod could tell he had something in mind.
“Any chance you’d be willing to go out and drive around? See if you can spot Grady’s truck?”
As concerned as he was for his brother, Rod’s first thought was of India and the fact that she’d soon be in his bed. “Why don’t you?”
When he looked up, Rod realized that Mack wanted to go after her. He was holding himself back, afraid of what might occur if he found her.
“Should I ask what happened between you?”
“No. I will tell you that I didn’t touch her, though. I swear it.”
“Okay.” He didn’t press for more of an explanation.
“Will you go?”
India was only coming over to sleep. Rod supposed she could do that without him. Chances were good she’d prefer some privacy. Being alone in his room would give her a chance to drift off in a safe place without feeling she needed to be wary of him. “Sure. I’ll see what I can find out.”
“Text me when you have news,” Mack said, looking up as Rod stood. “But don’t mention that I was the one who...who needed to know.”
Leaving his beer on the table, he squeezed his brother’s shoulder. As he’d guessed, the poor son of a bitch was so emotionally distraught he couldn’t tell which way was up. “I will. Finish that for me, huh?” Rod gestured at what was left of his beer.
“Yeah.” Mack tipped back his own bottle. “I plan to drink everything in the house.”
Rod paused for a second. He almost said that time and separation would help. He’d never met a woman he couldn’t get over. But he wasn’t sure he’d ever really been in love. And he hoped love wasn’t what Mack was grappling with now.
Nonetheless, he wouldn’t be doing Mack any favors by putting it into words. So he walked out and started his truck. Then he texted India to let her know he had to run an errand that might take an hour or so.
* * *
India received Rod’s text while she sat on the edge of her bed. Although she’d already packed a pair of pajamas and a few toiletries, she’d been wrestling with herself about going over there. She felt too vulnerable in her own house, so the safety appealed to her. Other aspects did, too. That was what stopped her.
She couldn’t turn to a man like Rod, couldn’t allow herself to lean on him, not without inviting other problems into her life. It wouldn’t be fair to him if she did. She wasn’t his responsibility.
Then she received word that he wouldn’t even be there when she arrived—and that made the decision for her. He’d come home later, of course, but as long as she was asleep, it wouldn’t matter. She’d have one night during which she could rest peacefully, one night when she wouldn’t have to listen for someone breaking in. Later on she could decide whether she should return to Rod’s bed tomorrow night or the night after.
No problem, she typed and sent her message.
A ding alerted her to his reply.
You’re coming though, right? I don’t want you staying in that house alone anymore.
He was the kind of man who took charge and felt comfortable doing it. But India didn’t mind. She liked the way he’d jumped in to help. That, along with the confidence he’d cobbled together simply by proving himself over the years, was part of her attraction to him. Maybe he wasn’t highly educated or someone who would’ve made the contributions Charlie could’ve made, but, other than what he’d received from Dylan, he’d had very little support in life. Rod was street-smart—a self-made man who didn’t seem to be afraid of anything because he’d already fought his way through so much. She figured there were worse things than falling under the protection of a guy like that.
She slung her bag over her shoulder and stood up.
I’m coming.
Good. Get some sleep. I’ll be there soon.
She heard his truck start and wanted to ask where he was going, but he would’ve mentioned it if he wanted her to know.
She hoped it wasn’t out to buy condoms...
Shifting her mind away from that possibility, she went around to all the doors and windows to make su
re they were locked. Then she let herself out the back and hurried across the yard.
* * *
Natasha leaned against the brick wall of the high school gymnasium, hugging her knees to her chest as she stared out over the matted grass between the buildings. She was no longer a student here, had never fit in to begin with, so she found it ironic that this was the only refuge she could think of. But where else was there? She wasn’t old enough to get into Sexy Sadie’s tonight, and most other places in Whiskey Creek weren’t open late. It wasn’t as if she had any girlfriends she could turn to. Boyfriends, either. The guys she’d met in high school had never held any appeal.
How could they? They seemed so young and immature compared to Mack.
She pulled out some of the blades of grass around her. She’d earned a 4.0 GPA her senior year, something she’d never dreamed she could do. Maybe that was why she’d come here. To pay tribute. To remember that she had that small bit of success to build on. She was going to college as a result—had received a partial scholarship as well as a grant from the government. It had simply never occurred to her that college would be in her future, not with what she’d experienced in the past.
But the thought of how well she’d done in school brought her back to the Amos brothers. She wouldn’t have been able to do it without them and the stability they’d introduced to her life. They’d stepped in and provided a unified front, protecting her from all the crazy shit her mother used to subject her to. She’d known, almost from the beginning, that even if her mother divorced their father, she’d have a home with them until she graduated.
She was grateful for that, loved every single one of them like a brother—except Mack. The way she loved him was different. She’d never felt anything so powerful in her life.
But women in general loved Mack. While she’d been waiting to come of age, he’d entertained one woman after another. Watching that hadn’t been easy. Just looking at him made her ache to touch him, and not in the way he’d always touched her, with that careful, platonic embrace—if he allowed himself to embrace her at all. She knew he felt more than he’d ever admit, could see how he tensed whenever she got too close and how his gaze trailed after her when he thought she wasn’t looking, even when he had another woman over. Sometimes that was when he treated her the most warmly, as if that other woman acted as some sort of defense against his own feelings.
Too bad none of that mattered. She’d been labeled his “stepsister” because of a piece of paper that had joined her mother to his father less than three years ago, and that was all there was to it. He felt he had to leave her alone. He’d be too ashamed to do anything else.
A pair of headlights swung into the lot. Natasha peered into the darkness. Part of her hoped it was Mack, that he’d changed his mind.
But it wasn’t. She recognized Rod’s blue truck as he parked. No doubt he’d noticed Grady’s SUV in the lot.
With a sigh, she stood and wiped off her bottom, which was wet from the dewy grass. She was still wearing nothing but her panties under Mack’s T-shirt. She’d rushed out of the house without a thought for anything except escape, hadn’t even asked to take Grady’s truck. She’d found his keys on the counter and scooped them up. But as long as she didn’t get into a wreck, she didn’t think he’d mind. And the T-shirt was big enough that it hit her midthigh, so it wasn’t as if she was any more naked than if she’d been wearing a skirt.
“Over here,” she said once Rod had jumped out and started calling her name.
He stopped on the blacktop and rested his hand on his hip while he waited for her to come out of the shadows. “You okay?” he asked, looking her over carefully the moment she was standing in the moonlight and he could see her clearly.
“I’m fine,” she lied.
“What are you doing here?” He gestured to the school with his cast.
“Just thinking.”
“About...”
“I’m considering leaving Whiskey Creek early,” she told him. “If I move to Utah right away, it should be easier to get a job. You know, before all the other kids arrive for fall semester. Might as well get settled in.”
She could tell when he didn’t argue with her, didn’t mention the job she had here, that he had some inkling of what was going on. She wondered what Mack had told him. Mack must have said something. Otherwise, Rod would’ve gone to bed without thinking twice about the fact that Grady’s SUV was gone. The brothers came and went all the time without anyone really keeping track, and they tried to ignore J.T. and Anya altogether.
“That might be for the best,” he agreed.
When he said that, it felt as though he’d plunged a fork into her heart. She swallowed hard and blinked rapidly but couldn’t overcome the tears that welled up.
She thought he’d ignore them. She wanted him to. She wished she could be as stoic as the rough-and-tough Amos brothers. No one dared to mess with them; they could take care of themselves in any situation. Besides, they weren’t comfortable with displays of emotion, which was part of the reason she never let them see her cry.
Rod wasn’t any different from his brothers in that regard, but he didn’t ignore her tears. He pulled her to him and kissed the top of her head.
“I’ve never felt anything worse than this,” she admitted as he held her.
He didn’t request an explanation. “It won’t always be this bad,” he said simply. Then he released her so they could head home.
* * *
It didn’t take Rod more than a few minutes to realize that he’d overestimated his ability to share a bed with India. He’d been gone long enough that she was dead to the world when he crawled in. He’d expected that, thought it would put a decisive end to the evening and he’d have to settle for just being close to her.
He was settling, but that didn’t mean he could sleep. No matter how hard he tried to hold still and concentrate on other things—various issues at work, on the repairs he needed to make to his bike, or what he might hear from Liam Crockett—he couldn’t drift off. He spent the next hour fighting the urge to touch her.
Keeping his hands to himself was hard enough when he could only smell her perfume. But as time went by, she gravitated closer and closer. Before long, she was pressed right up against him.
The feel of her soft legs against his made him so hard he knew he was wasting his time even trying to sleep. He’d have to move to the couch.
He was just sliding out of bed when he realized that, as careful as he’d been, he’d awakened her. She didn’t speak, but he noticed that her breathing had changed, and he could feel her watching him—or what she could see of him—in the dark.
“Am I keeping you up?” he murmured.
“No.”
“I can go somewhere else.”
“Don’t leave.”
He stopped inching toward the edge of the mattress. “Okay. I’m here. Go back to sleep.”
They stayed like that, beside each other without touching, for the next few minutes. But instead of relaxing and eventually nodding off, they grew more stiff and tense. He could sense her awareness of him. Being in the same bed had suddenly become as awkward for her as it was for him.
Rod was about to say he wasn’t helping her out by staying when he felt her hand on his arm. “India...”
“Please...don’t talk,” she said.
He was still hesitating, trying to decide if he was letting his body lead him into an emotional ambush, when that hand traveled from his arm to his chest. Sucking in his breath, he closed his eyes as her cool fingers found their way under his T-shirt and moved over his stomach and pecs. “I want you,” she murmured. “I’ve wanted you from the moment I laid eyes on you, bloody knuckles and all. I’ve never experienced that with anyone else.”
That statement set him apart from every other man, even her dead husband. An
d being taken seriously by her was all he’d ever asked. He had no idea if what they felt would last. He’d never had a girlfriend for more than a few months at a time. What his mother had done had somehow damaged him, cost him the ability to trust, and without trust he sometimes feared love would be impossible. But he’d been as instantly attracted to India as she was to him, and he wanted to give what they felt an honest chance. “Rod? Is that a no?” she asked.
“That’s a yes,” he said and turned her onto her back.
12
India stared up at Rod as he removed the silky shorts and spaghetti-strap top of her pajamas. The sudden exposure to the air—and particularly his gaze—puckered her nipples and caused gooseflesh. She thought he’d smooth all of that away by immediately pulling her against him, but he rocked back on the bed so he could look at her.
“Gorgeous,” he said with satisfaction.
India wished that didn’t flatter her as much as it did, wished he’d say or do something that would turn her off. She needed to come up with some complaint she could use to build an emotional barrier between them. That giddy rush of falling for someone left her with no defense.
Was she succumbing to her own foolishness once again? Welcoming the wrong type of guy into her life?
Perhaps. But temptation had never been presented to her in a more appealing package...
“Then touch me,” she said.
He slid his good hand lightly up her thigh, over her hip and waist to her left breast, where he flicked his thumb across the sensitive tip before lowering his head.
India gasped as his mouth closed over her and she caressed his recently cut hair.
“I wish I didn’t have this cast,” he mumbled as his mouth traveled up her neck. “It’s frustrating, but my biggest regret is not being able to use both hands on you.”
“You’re doing fine with just one.” She was so excited she could hardly breathe, but what he was doing wasn’t so different from the other men she’d known. His touch seemed to hold a certain magic. Not since high school had she been this physically attracted to someone. She used to think that kind of all-consuming desire came only with first love, and after she and Sam split up, she thought the feeling would be gone forever. Since Sam, it had been gone. But this encounter flew in the face of all that.