by Rene Folsom
Chapter Seven
“Again?” Jonah asked with a befuddled look on his face.
I nodded. “Is it okay if we go inside and talk? I’m less likely to become a blubbering mess when I’m in public.”
“Of course. Just… give me a moment?” he said as he backed away and held up a finger. I knew why he needed a moment. I could feel his excitement pressed against my hand while we were kissing. I decided to bring the mirror down, check my makeup, and hopefully give him a little privacy to calm down.
The thought I excited him so much made me smile.
Yeah, you excite me. No surprise there.
With his thoughts flooding my brain, I jerked my gaze in his direction. Jaw dropped, I said, “Jonah!”
“What?”
“I heard you!” Before he could argue, I continued. “Think of something else. Quick.”
Silence. I heard nothing but the muted anti-noise of the enclosed car.
“Damn,” I said out loud. Not in a cursory sort of way, but instead, a sigh of disappointment.
Um, I need to know why you said ‘again’.
A huge Cheshire Cat grin spread across my face as I heard his thoughts. I turned my entire body sideways so I could face him again and literally felt like my cheeks would explode at the next thought running ramped through his mind.
Wow, you’re beautiful when you smile at me.
“You think so?” I questioned.
“Think what?”
“You think I’m beautiful when I smile at you?” I repeated him, letting him know I heard every thought.
His jaw dropped for just a split second before he joined me in the ticker tape parade of smiles.
“You heard that, huh?” he said, still grinning from ear to ear.
I just nodded and bit my lip in an attempt to break the grin that was beginning to make my cheeks cramp.
“Well, it’s true,” he said as he lightly brushed his fingertips along the top of my hand. “Now, can you think of something? Let’s see if I’m able to hear what’s going through that beautiful mind of yours.”
I sat back against the plush leather of his car and closed my eyes. I began to remember our first encounter at the college. Which was another odd occurrence. It seems he actually did go to school there. Not only that, but the teachers and classrooms I dreamed of actually exist. However, knowing about all of it while I was, literally, dead to the world just seemed impossible.
Ok, Orella. Focus. Think of something Jonah should remember. Well, of course he won’t remember something in your dreams, moron. But, think of something he should know or recognize.
I heard him clear his throat, ultimately ending my attempt to jog his memory… or mine.
“Nothing?” I asked.
He just shook his head, the sorrow obvious on his face.
“I’m sorry,” I apologized as I squeezed his hand.
“Don’t be. It’s ok. How about we go in and eat?”
Nodding seemed to be the only response I could give around this boy. What’s wrong with my goddamn voice?
I watched as he deliciously rounded his way to my side of the car and opened the door for me, offering his hand just like he did in my dreams… or, coma, really.
The restaurant was busy and rather loud. But, I loved Mexican food, so it was worth the exchange in privacy. Jonah whispered something into the hostess’ ear and she responded with an I-know-what-you-did type of smile.
I began to open my mouth and ask Jonah what was up when she led us to a room near the back. Quiet. Secluded. Just, perfect. Dinner was much of the same. We talked about his current art projects, which were absolutely amazing to hear about.
Then he asked me about physical therapy. Hole. Swallow. Now. I wasn’t ready to tell him.
Just as I thought I would be subjected to telling him such a private thing in a very public place, the waitress came and rescued me, even if for just a moment.
“Would you like anything else, Ella?” Jonah asked as he grabbed my hand once more. It’s almost as if he wanted the waitress to know we were together. Yet, he couldn’t read her mind right now, so I wonder what that was all about.
“No, thanks. I’m good,” I answered, hoping and praying he would get the check so we could leave.
Thankfully, he asked for the check. I let out a huge sigh, relieved we would be leaving soon, and caught his attention in the process.
“You ok?”
“Yep, just peachy,” I answered flatly. I think he could tell I was lying, but he didn’t push.
As we waited for the check, I began to remember our horseback ride together and the vision of him on Skip, galloping down the trail at sunset.
After several moments of remembering our riding excursion, I suddenly realized he was staring at me with nothing short of a stunned look on his face.
“Ella! That’s from my dream!” Jonah gasped.
“What dream?” I asked, worried he may not have seen what I was projecting to him. “Did you just see what I was thinking about?”
“Yes,” he answered as he threw a wad of cash onto the table and began to stand up. “And we have a lot of talking to do.”
He seemed angry. I hope what I thought about didn’t anger him. How could it have? Or, why? It very well could have just been my imagination. And surely, he couldn’t be getting mad at that, right?
“I’m not mad, Ella. I’m actually excited and confused and just… well, you’ll see.”
“Where are we going?”
“My apartment. There’s something I need to show you.”
I stopped just short of the restaurant door, causing a couple behind us to dodge my halting form and make their way around us.
“What?” Jonah asked, worry in his voice and facial features.
“Your apartment?” I asked in a rather kid-like voice. Truth was, regardless of what I dreamed about in my coma-like state, I’ve never been with a man before. And, all girls know, going to a man’s apartment, alone, at night, is just asking for it. Especially when that man was as fucking sexy as Jonah.
He grinned as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and said, “I’m glad you think I’m sexy, but, as much as I am attracted to you, that is not my intention. I promise.”
I took his words to be true and followed him out of the restaurant, sighing in relief once I sank down into the Charger’s bucket seats.
Jonah’s apartment was literally two blocks away. Not even enough time for us to think of what was happening. I could tell he was excited and extremely nervous about something, which continued to leak doubt into my mind about going to his apartment alone.
Get a grip, Hugh. For one, he said that wasn’t his intentions. And two, you’re a friggin adult for crying out loud. Geez!
Jonah chuckled and I then realized he heard my own internal monologue chastising myself for being a pussy. Wait, maybe I shouldn’t use the word pussy. Might give the wrong impression. With that thought, I had to chuckle at my own thoughts.
We pulled into the complex parking lot rather fast, as if his ass was on fire and his apartment was the only place to quench his cheeks.
Grabbing my hand and quickly helping me out of the car, he practically ran up the stairs to his apartment door.
“Now, promise me you won’t freak out and we’ll talk about this before you run for the hills?” he asked with a stark look on his face.
“Jonah, you’re starting to scare me,” I said quietly, backing away from him slightly as I thought of being in an apartment with a man I thought I knew well, but in reality, had only met today.
Without letting my hand go, he gently tugged me back toward him and hugged me.
“Damn. I’m so sorry. I never meant to scare you or worry you. I’m such a shithead. I just, I don’t know how to figure all this out, Ella. The only way I can see how to explain it is to show you a picture I drew several nights ago,” he clarified as he held onto me tight.
My face was buried in the nook. You know, that snug little area
on a man’s chest where you can burry your face and know that the entire universe now centers around this comfortable connection. I breathed in his scent and felt his heart pound beneath my ear.
Finally I looked up at his face, riddled with concern. Probably worried I would bail on him.
“Okay, Jonah. Show me your drawing, please.”
With that, he unlocked the door and led me into his apartment.
Chapter Eight
Ella stepped into my apartment, looking around as if my place would tell her more about me. My apartment was a nice size with typical living room furniture, perfect for young bachelors such as Jay and I. Leather couch, big screen TV with video gaming systems, a small dining room table cluttered with books, bags, and school stuff, and a kitchen which looked rather bare, save for the Gatorade and beer bottles lined up on the counter.
“In here,” I said as I tugged at her hand, leading her further down the hall and into my room.
A flutter played in my stomach at the thought of bringing her into my bedroom. I could tell she was nervous about the thought as well. Then, I flicked on the light and allowed her to step into my space.
An involuntary gasp left her lips at the sight before us. Just above my headboard, framed and lit like a professional work of art, was my drawing of her. She was riding a horse, which I could tell by her thoughts was actually her horse named Cora, and laughing as the wind ripped through her hair and clothes.
“Jonah,” she whimpered and I could tell she was hardly able to control her emotions.
“Ella,” I responded as I came up behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist. The fact that I could touch her made my heart expand out of my chest like the Grinch from Whoville.
“You said you dreamed of me and this is from your dream?”
“Oh, Ella. How do I explain this? Just remember you promised to listen first. Ok?” I sighed heavily as I dug for the courage to continue.
“I’ve been dreaming of you for six years,” I said, causing her to turn and look at me as I spoke. “I may not have known your name or whether you were real. But, you’ve been in my dreams since I was nearly eighteen. Every night, I had a dream of beautiful amethyst eyes and every morning when I woke, my heart tore in two.”
Yep, here comes the waterworks. I could see her eyes begin to swell and tears start to brim around her eyelids. If she cries, I will surely lose my man-card and sob right along with her.
“You don’t have to say anything. I just needed to let you know why I feel so drawn to you… why we have this strong connection,” I explained as I gestured between the two of us.
“Jonah, I have something to tell you,” she said as she walked away from me and sat on the edge of the bed. I could tell she was shaking so badly that she had to sit down and compose herself. I was so worried I was scaring her. I had to do something to comfort her.
“Oh, Ella. You’re shaking. Come here,” I said as I sat beside her and wrapped her in my arms, hugging her close and allowing her to cry into my chest. As much as I hated to see her cry, this felt real. This was her and she was really here, allowing me to comfort her without the repercussions of vanishing into thin air.
“I’ve… God, how do I say this?” she said out loud as she sniffed and wiped her nose with her hand while backing away from me ever so slightly.
I know, very ladylike. But, I don’t care. I have to tell him this. I have to get it off my chest. Her thoughts made me care for her even more.
“A little over six years ago, I was in a bad car accident. A really bad car accident that broke several bones in my body and banged me up pretty good.”
I just stared at her, puzzled as to why she was telling me about a car accident from so long ago. Then it dawned on me, as if someone literally knocked me over the head with a bat. The time…
“Did you say… six years?” I gasped. She just nodded.
“You asked why I was taking physical therapy. The reason is because I’ve been in a coma ever since the accident. I only woke up a little over a month ago.”
With this information, I stood up and looked down at her. I was speechless. I didn’t know what to say or do. Here she was, pouring her secrets out and effectively explaining to me why I’ve been in utter desperation to find her for six years. Yet, how was I supposed to absorb this bit of information?
“Jonah, I…”
“Wait,” I interrupted, not unkindly, as I held my hand up and closed my eyes. “Let me think about this. Ok, six years ago, you were in a car accident that left you in a coma. And you woke up a little over a month ago?”
She nodded, a tear trickling down her cheek with the worry I would not understand the next part.
The next part of what? I thought.
I kneeled in front of her and grabbed her face, forcing her to look at me. “Ella, please don’t cry. We’ll figure this out… this connection. We’ll figure it out. Don’t be sad.”
“There’s more, Jonah.”
“Then tell me, love. Talk to me,” I said with tenderness, needing her to know I would understand. Needing her to know that I would never turn her away.
“The day I woke up, before I did, I dreamed of you, or envisioned you. I’m not quite sure what it was really. But you were there and you were… you were mine.”
With those words, she looked directly at me. A huge grin slowly made its way across my features. So, she knew me as soon as she saw me. The thought that we were on the same level made me sigh in relief. “I was yours, huh?”
“We had only met that day, but it seemed like I’d known you for forever. We spent such a wonderful day together, eating lunch in the courtyard, throwing on the wheel together, horseback riding, a shared meditation trip to Manua Kea Summit, even your Charger. I experienced all of it. You even kissed me. And then, I woke up and I thought for sure I would never be able to pick the pieces of my heart up off the floor.
“I thought for sure you were just a dream. That I would never again see you, touch you, smell you. When you walked over to me in the Lavendine studio, I seriously thought I had gone back under. Now? Now I don’t know what to think.”
“Don’t think. Let’s not think. At least, not now. Let’s just enjoy and be thankful that we’ve finally found one another,” I said as I laid my head in her lap. She took the cherished moment to run her fingers through my hair, causing a delightful groan to leave my chest at the feeling of her touching me so intimately. I grasped onto her tighter, tucking my hands beneath her ass and savoring the warmth of her embrace.
“Please don’t take this the wrong way and don’t feel like you have to say anything in return. But, I’ve been dreaming of you for six years. You’ve been mine all that time, yet I’ve never been able to touch you, to hold you like this, or to tell you that…” I trailed off as I sat up and looked directly into her eyes—contemplating whether I should say the words I’ve been feeling for so many years now. I wanted to tell her I loved her. But, would that be too much? Would I ruin the perfect connection we had right now?
With those three ever-important words rambling through my mind and never actually being spoken from my mouth, the love of my life got up and walked out.
The End of Part Three
“Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts.”
– Albert Einstein
Chapter One
I was certain that Jonah was only in love with who he thought I was... an image that reflected his desires... the girl of his dreams. He didn’t truly love me, did he? He didn’t even know me and yet, in his mind, he loved me.
Jonah didn’t have to say it out loud. I didn’t want him to. Because the first time a man says those words to me, I want it to be because he knows the REAL me. Not some imaginary girl from his dreams.
The attraction of being in love can easily capture a person’s attention. Actually, being in love is a rarity. Everyone wants that feeling of pure bliss only love can bring. But just the desire to love and be loved in return does no
t qualify.
Then again, without the hope and desire to find love, one would be lost forever.
I didn’t go very far after his mental admission that he loved me. I only walked out of his room and sat down on the top step in front of his apartment. I needed the fresh air. The electricity between us was clouding my judgment and my self-control.
Odd thing was, I could no longer hear his thoughts. I figured I would just walk outside to get some fresh air and he would soon follow, both of us knowing we would never actually leave the other’s side.
But, did he know that I would never actually leave him? According to his thoughts, I always left him. Every dream he had of me ended with my dream-form disappearing in some fashion. Walking out as soon as I got scared is definitely not proving to him I will never, ever leave his side willingly. I just showed the man that I am all too quick to run for the hills when things get a little intimidating.
But his honest admission of his feelings really had me frightened. I wasn’t scared of the fact that a man like Jonah loved me. I was worried that he didn’t truly love me. That he only loved the woman he dreamed of and, when reality sets in, I’ll be rejected and completely shattered.
If I hand my heart to this man and he turns me away, I doubt I will ever survive.
After about an hour of feeling completely helpless and beside myself with confusion, I stood and turned my body back toward his front door. Regardless of how chaotic I felt, I never wanted him to think I would willingly leave him. I had already experienced losing him once. I’d be damned if I put him through the same torture over again just because I was a basket case.
Plus, the fact I could no longer hear his thoughts concerned me. Did he put his shield back up again? Did my retreat cause him so much grief that he would close himself off to me once more?
Taking a deep breath and hesitating ever so slightly, I turned the knob and reentered his apartment.
Everything was quiet and just as it was when I walked out.
Feeling a sudden urgency to make sure he was ok, I pushed my way down the darkened hall and stumbled back into his bedroom, tripping over a backpack near the doorway and making a rather noisy entrance.