In A Heartbeat (The Shameful Regret Series)

by King, Liz

  Oh my! “Um, I’m sorry.” I mumble, quite embarrassed, dropping my head down to stare at my lap again. I seem to be apologizing a lot to him.

  “Do not ever apologize for making your pleasure known. I hope to make you sound like that again very soon. Only next time, it will be me you are tasting on your lips.” Connor whispers in my ear, his teeth grazing my earlobe.

  Our waiter picks this time to check on us and see if we need anything else. I jump at his intrusion, I am thankful for it and hate him at the same time. I use this interruption to excuse myself to the ladies room. I need a minute. I hear Connor laughing as I scurry out of the booth and down the corridor. I don’t understand how this man can make me feel completely at ease one second, and the next has my wits thoroughly scattered.

  When I come back to the table, Connor is finishing up paying the bill and putting his wallet back in his jeans. He stands up and holds his hand out for me to take. “Let’s get going, Sweetness, I have to help the guys set up a little before the set.” Connor says leading me out of the restaurant.

  With our fingers laced together we walk down the sidewalk heading towards Silver. My small hand fits perfectly in his large warm hand. It feels so natural. It is only four or five blocks away, but I’m still grateful that I wore my flats. I don’t even want to imagine how unsteady I’d be trying to keep up with his long strides in heels. I look down at our hands, and notice how big his are. Connor’s hand has completely engulfed mine. I’ve never felt tiny before, but with Connor next to me, I actually feel petite.

  I was a little confused when Connor turned down an alley just before I saw the entrance to Silver. “Where are we going? The door is up there.” I point behind me as he continues to lead me.

  Connor chuckles. “Babe, we’re going in the back. I don’t want to deal with the crowd right now, and I still want you to myself for a little bit before your girls come and kidnap you.”

  He wants me all to himself for a while? This should make me anxious, but it only fills my stomach with butterflies. I want to be alone with him some more. I want to feel his lips on mine. I want to feel his arms around me again. I look up at him nodding. I’m not sure I could form any coherent words at this point.

  We enter into the back of the club and there aren’t a lot of people walking around. The lights are down and I can hear the music thumping from the front. It sounds like the DJ is playing a good mix. I continue to look around as Connor turns down a few hallways. I guess he is looking for the rest of Shameful Regret. He stops and turns to face me. “I have to run in the office for a few to let them know I’m here, are you going to be alright out here for a few minutes by yourself? I won’t be long, I promise.”

  “No problem, do what you have to. I think I can keep myself out of trouble.” I smile up at him coyly while I lean against the wall.

  Connor shakes his head and walks into the office a few feet down the hall. I take some calming breaths. For the first time in a very long time, I feel like I can let my walls down. I don’t know what it is about Connor, but I want to know him, and more importantly, I want him to know me.

  I close my eyes and listen to the muffled music coming through the walls. It has a great beat to it much like the other night at Metro. I can’t help myself when my hips start swaying to beat again.

  A few minutes later, the door Connor went into opens, and he comes back out. “I could watch you all night, Sweetness.” He says taking my hand as we start walking towards what I’m assuming is the stage. The hallway is narrow, so I’m walking somewhat behind him as he leads me. I see lots of stacked speakers and a few large amps along the back wall.

  He stops abruptly and I bump into his back. “Oh!” I grab his hips to steady myself, feeling him tense under my hands. Connor is solid muscle.

  “To hell with it!” Connor growls. He spins me around pressing my back against the amp. I look up into his piercing eyes and my head spins. I know what he is about to do. My tongue darts out, wetting my lips in anticipation. I haven’t wanted to kiss a man this badly ever. I can feel my heart pounding in my chest.

  Connor leans down to where his lips are hovering just over mine. “I’m going to taste just how sweet you really are.”

  Oh dear Lord!

  Connor’s hands cup my face, then he tilts my head up as his lips crash down over mine. They are soft, yet firm. A fire unfurls inside me as I gasp in surprise opening my mouth to him. Connor’s tongue probes inside, tasting me, devouring me. I timidly start to stroke his tongue with my own. He tastes of ginger and mint. My hands grip his biceps to hold myself up. My knees are weak, and I feel like I could fall at any moment.

  Connor’s hands glide down to my shoulders, then down to my waist. He grips me and pulls me into him. My arms reach up and round his shoulders as I kiss him back fiercely, arching into him, I weave my fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck. Connor nips at my bottom lip with his teeth and I whimper. “Oh!”

  ”Just like fucking candy.” Connor whispers trailing kisses from the corner of my lips to my jaw then back to my lips.

  Chapter Eight

  “Whoa! Sorry, man!” I hear a male voice behind Connor laughing. As he stands up, he places another small kiss to my lips. His eyes haven’t left mine, and his hands are still on my waist.

  I know my face is bright read. My lips feel swollen and my heart is beating a mile a minute. I close my eyes to break Connor’s intense stare.

  My eyes are still closed when I hear Connor respond to the unknown man behind him. “Wade, perfect timing as always.” He chuckles. “Meet Lynae Michaels, the sweetest thing in Charleston. Tastiest too.” Connor adds licking his lips.

  I look up and around Connor. He still hasn’t let go of me, and he is still staring at me. “Hi.” I squeak. Wade looks very similar to Connor. Same shape nose and strong jaw, but his eyes are a rich chocolate brown and he has his head shaved. These two are related somehow.

  “Hello, gorgeous. Why are you with this jackass?” Wade laughs shoving Connor out of the way and extends his hand for me to shake.

  I reach out and shake his had timidly. I’m still a little wobbly from the intense kiss I was sharing with Connor before we were so rudely interrupted. Connor has moved to stand beside me, but his arm comes around to hold me possessively to his side with his hand splayed across my hipbone. “It’s nice to meet you.” I say quietly.

  Two more guys come up behind Wade talking loudly, but stop when the spot Connor and I huddled together. They take their time looking up and down my body, and smiles spread across their faces while they ogle me. I feel like a piece of meat. They must be the rest of the band. This was not how I anticipated meeting them, in the middle of a makeout session against an amp backstage. If I hadn’t been so focused on Connor last night, I’m sure I would have recognized them.

  Connor reaches his other hand out and does the manly fist bump thing with the two guys. “Seth, Marcus.” Then looks back to Wade, “I told y’all to behave tonight. Don’t go scaring my girl. She’s shy.”

  “She didn’t look too shy earlier.” The one that I think is Seth comments. He’s much shorter than Connor and Wade, but still taller than me. He has bright blue eyes and almost white blonde hair cropped close to his scalp.

  Marcus elbows him in the ribs. “Excuse this asshat, he has no manners. I’m Marcus. It’s nice to meet you, sweetheart.” He extends his hand to me and I reach out to shake it. Marcus is tall and lanky. His short brown hair is spiked up in all different directions, and he has kind hazel eyes. I feel at ease with him immediately.

  I look from Marcus to Seth. “It’s nice to meet you both. I heard y’all play last night at Metro. You guys are amazing.” I try to sound sure of myself, Connor’s arm around me is giving me confidence. I look up and I feel like I’m surrounded by giant sexy rock gods. They are all at least 6’0” or more.

  “Lynae, these dipshits are the rest of Shameful Regret. Wade is the bassist, Seth is the drummer, and Marcus is the best damn lead guitar you
’ll find around.” Connor’s voice is full of pride for his band mates. I can tell he has immense respect for these guys. “We’ve been together since high school. They are my family.”

  I’m finally getting strength back in my legs, and I straighten my posture. Wade is still looking my body over, focusing mostly on my cleavage with a glint in his eyes. My building confidence makes me want to show Connor that I can handle these guys. I’m trying to move forward in my life, be a new me. “Wade, is it? You know that my face is up here, right?” I ask pointing to my face. Marcus and Seth start laughing, while Connor is glaring at Wade.

  “God, I love her already!” Marcus exclaims clasping his hand on my shoulder. “She’s gonna fit in fine with us.”

  Smirking, Wade adds “Hey, I’m a man, I’m going to appreciate a nice set of cantaloupes when I see them.” He looks from me to Connor, “Is this the chick you were looking for after the set last night? When you took off?”

  He was looking for me? I know he was staring at me before the set when Michelle and I first walked into Metro, then I literally ran into him in the hallway afterwards, but he was looking for me? This thought warms my heart.

  “Lynae and I met briefly after we left the stage, then I saw her this morning while I was out. She graciously agreed to have dinner with me, then come here.” Connor replied looking down at me. “I’m going to walk her out front, her friends should be here soon. I got Randy to reserve a table for the girls by the stage.”

  Graciously agreed to have dinner? I was pretty much told I was having dinner with him, but I’m so glad that I was told. Connor seems to be bringing out a part of myself I think had been hidden for quite a while.

  “Come on, let her hang back here. She can bring her girls back with her. I kinda like the idea of some hotties back here just for us checking out my ass!” Seth chimes in.

  I square my shoulders. “Seth, honey, if you’re sitting down at your drum set, how can I check out your ass? Besides, I’ll be focused on someone else’s ass anyways.” There! I can take care of myself. Connor doesn’t have to make these guys walk on eggshells around me. Being with Connor is empowering. His energy brings out my inner diva. Michelle would be so proud of me. I do my inner happy dance. You know, the one that looks like “The Carlton” from that show Will Smith was on years ago.

  Seth’s smirk falls as Wade smacks him in the arm. The guys are doubled over laughing as Connor starts leading me away shaking his head. “I’ll be back in a few, guys.” He called over his shoulder. “Alright, Sweetness, you’ve made an impression on them. Let’s go.”

  When we get to the table he said was reserved for us, Michelle and Gabbi jump up pulling me into group hug. Connor still has a hold on my hand, so my arm is oddly pulled behind me. Gabbi lets go of me, then pounces on Connor. “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I have wanted to come here forever! Little miss Nae-Nae has been refusing to come out, then you come around, and now all of the sudden she’s getting us into exclusive clubs!”

  Connor wiggles out of Gabbi’s arms. “I’m glad you could come on such short notice. Keep my girl here safe while I’m onstage.”

  He called me his girl. Again. That makes my heart puddle. Connor cups my chin in his hand tilting my face up. He presses his lips against mine, his tongue gliding along the seam of my lips begging for me to open to him, which I do. My body melts into him. It’s a short and sweet kiss, a quick flick of his tongue against mine. Connor draws my lower lip into his mouth, sucking gently as he breaks the kiss. “I’ll be watching you, Sweetness.” Then turns to walk backstage again, as I plop down into the chair behind me.

  “Oh! My! Fucking! God! Lynae!” Gabbi and Michelle both exclaim practically in unison as they grab the chair beside me and sit.

  They are both talking and asking questions. I can’t keep up. I look back and forth between them then hold my hands up. “Simmer down! I can only answer one question at a time.”

  “Connor has got to be the sexiest thing I have ever seen! I even felt the tingles of that kiss, woman! Hot damn!” Michelle sighs leaning back in her chair. “We let you spend a few hours alone with a man, and you return a little vixen!”

  Gabbi chimes in “Holy hell! I didn’t now you had it in you!”

  I look at my girls; I can’t help the smile that spreads across my face. “There is definitely something about him. He makes me feel,” I pause, “I don’t know, Connor makes my heart beat again.”

  Michelle reaches out taking my hand, “Nae-Nae, I’ve never seen you light up like that before. It’s ok to let a man in.” Michelle knows me very well. She’s been with me since college, and she knows that I don’t trust easily, she just doesn’t know why.

  I fill the girls in on the rest of my evening with Connor, except I leave out the embarrassing part of how I met the band backstage. I don’t really want them to know that I allowed Connor to have me pressed against a wall with his tongue down my throat in public. Just thinking about that kiss has me feeling flushed again. That man can kiss. I can only imagine what else he can do with that magical mouth of his. Oh, holy hell, did I really just think that?

  Gabbi’s attention is drawn to the stage as Shameful Regret starts walking out. “Those are some fine asses up there! Especially the one with the funny looking guitar!”

  She’s looking at Wade as he plugs his bass up to the amp near the microphone he’ll be standing near. He looks over at me giving me a wink then makes a rude gesture with his tongue.

  I notice Seth walk out with his drumsticks making his way over to his set. He has a gleam in his eye searching the crowd. When Seth spots me, he stands up on the stool behind his drums, grabs the microphone screaming, “Lynae! You can still see my ass from down there!” then he shakes said ass, practically falling off the stool onto it when Connor comes out behind him smacking him on the back of his head growling something at him.

  Marcus’ entrance is a little more reserved. He walks over, plugs up this guitar and gives me a smile and a wink. I wave back at him smiling, then I feel, rather than notice Connor’s eyes on me. Connor glides to his area of the stage to adjust the microphone level, his gaze never leaving mine.

  “Um, something you left out there, bitch?” Gabbi snaps her fingers in front of my face drawing my attention back to her. “Were you gonna tell us that you met the rest of the band or were you going to try to keep them all to yourself?”

  Michelle and Gabbi are glaring at me. “Well, we went through the back door so Connor could do a few things before we walked out to meet you, and we ran into the guys.” I say sweetly hoping to calm their ire with me. I pointed out each of the guys, telling the girls who was who, giggling when I told Gabbi that the funny looking guitar was called a bass.

  Shameful Regret start their set, saving me from more of the inquisition from Gabbi and Michelle. Just like last night, Connor’s charisma commands the stage. I actually notice how well the rest of the guys interacted with the crowd to. Marcus seems a little shy, but he winks and smiles down at the ladies jumping around the stage. Wade continues making lewd gestures with his guitar and is shamelessly flirting away. Seth keeps his rear on his stool, but that doesn’t stop him from looking towards our table and making faces at us.

  The set is great. It is a mix of covers of other bands mixed with some original songs too. Connor’s voice is mesmerizing. When they get to the last song that is obviously the namesake of the band, I can hear the pain in Connor’s voice. His eyes are closed the entire time he is singing. “I’m so sorry I let you down. There is nothing that could make me forget. What I did will always be my shameful regret.” When he finishes the last refrain, he opens his eyes. I can see that there is a tortured look that vanishes quickly.

  Gabbi and Michelle look like they really enjoyed themselves. Apparently, when Connor had our table reserved, he also told the bartender to let them have whatever they wanted and to put it on his tab. Needless to say, my girls took advantage of this, having several drinks each. I am still working on my first lem
ontini.

  I’m standing next to the table talking with Gabbi when I’m suddenly picked up and swung around. I have no clue who it is that has a hold of me, but my elbow lands against a hard stomach, then I hear an “Umph!” as the arms let me go. I spin around to see Wade holding his abdomen doubled over. “Damn woman! I need to remind Connor that you’re a feisty one!”

  I am prepared to come up with a smart remark to Wade, but Gabbi saunters over to introduce herself instead, “Our dear Nae-Nae is being rude, please, join us. I’m Gabbi. I love your tattoos!” she flirts shamelessly with Wade, and he is eating it up. Wade has both of his arms covered in full tattoo sleeves.

  Connor walks out with Marcus and Seth, heading directly over to me. He doesn’t say a word before grabbing my face between his large hands swooping in for a passionate kiss. I’m so taken off guard that my knees literally buckle, but he quickly brings one of his arms down to wrap around my waist. When he breaks the kiss he whispers into my ear “I wanted to do that last night when I first saw you, but I thought I’d frighten you away.”

  I know my cheeks are bright red again, I can feel the heat in my face. I look up into Connor’s eyes staring down at me, “Yeah, I probably would have run.”

  “Sweetness, you did run.”

  “I mean, I would have run sooner. Again, I’m sorry about that, but I’m glad I’m here now.” and I really do mean it. I’m glad that I am standing here in Connor’s arms.

  Michelle clears her throat behind me. I had completely forgotten her and Gabbi were here. All I see and hear is Connor. “Uh, Sweetness is it now? Who the hell are you, and what did you do with my Nae-Nae?” she asks me laughing.

  “I’m still the same Nae-Nae, you know that.” I shoot her a glare. “Michelle, this is Marcus, Seth, and Wade.” I say introducing her to the rest of the band standing around us.

  Wade is still so engrossed with Gabbi rubbing her hands up and down his tattoos, that all he mutters is a quick “Hey, baby” to her.