In A Heartbeat (The Shameful Regret Series)

by King, Liz

  The apartment is your typical guy’s apartment. Open kitchen and living room, sparsely decorated with only a couch and recliner for furniture and a huge flat screen television on one wall. It has two bedrooms, and that’s about it.

  I would spend a little while hanging around with the rest of the guys, then once they got ready to start practicing, I headed up to the apartment to study for my certification exam. Michelle and Gabbi came with me on Thursday after I told them how I spent my Wednesday evening. It looks like Wade and Gabbi are getting pretty friendly with each other. I never did ask her what happened with them after Connor and I left Silver the other night, but I’m happy that Gabbi and Wade are getting along so well.

  Connor hasn’t tried to get too physical with me again. I think he is afraid to scare me again, but it doesn’t stopped him from always wanting to have an arm around my waist or holding me close when we were together, especially when Wade and Seth are around. I love the feel of having his arms pulling me into his side, or the way he will come up behind me and pull me back against his chest. He really does feel like my protector, and I am getting used to having the physical contact, in fact, I am finding myself craving it. I am even craving for Connor to take things a little further as well, if only I can keep my nerves out of it.

  ~

  After pulling out of the parking garage, my phone starts ringing. It’s Sly. “I’m on my way home, Doll Face! I’ll be there in about twenty minutes or so.” I say immediately without offering a greeting.

  “Ah, so you are coming home. I was worried that I’d be blown off for you to see Rocker Boy again. Good to know that I didn’t bail on Johnson’s party for no good reason.” Sly responds. If I could see him, I’m sure he is actually pouting.

  Johnson is Sly’s new roommate. I don’t know anything about him, but it doesn’t matter. Sly is a great judge of character. I’m sure I’ll meet him next time I go out to visit with him. I laugh at Sly’s nickname for Connor. “You know, Rocker Boy has a name. Connor is really looking forward to meeting you tonight. I think you’ll like him.” I really need Sly and Connor to get along. Sly is the most important man in my life aside from Daddy, and I can easily see Connor becoming important to me if I ever get the courage to let my guard down. I’m trying very hard.

  “Yeah, I know. Rocker Boy had better watch himself with my girl. He hurts you, I’ll kick his ass.”

  “Just be nice. Michelle should be over soon too after she gets a shower. She’s going to dinner with us tonight before we head out to the club.” I’m glad that Michelle will be there tonight too. She knows Sly very well, therefore she knows his brotherly and protective instincts over me. I’m also counting on her ability to get him to focus on her so he leaves Connor alone. Connor doesn’t need another reason to want to get rid of me.

  I hear Sly chuckle on the other end of the line. “Lord, I have to deal with Michelle tonight too? That woman likes to push my buttons.”

  “You know you love it.” I respond. I know that Sly and Michelle have been dancing around an attraction between them for years, I just wish they would do something about it already.

  ~

  When I get home, Sly is sprawled across the couch, but he jumps up as soon as I open the door. I drop my bag on the floor, running up to him as he picks me up in huge hug swinging me around. I plant a loud smacking kiss on Sly’s cheek when he sets me back down. “God, I missed you!”

  Sly kisses me back on the forehead then walks over to pick my bag up off the ground where I threw it. “I missed you too, Sweet Cheeks! Especially since you’ve been ignoring me all week.”

  “I have not been ignoring you! You know you’re my number one man!” I walk up behind him to wrap my arms around his waist resting my head against his back. “You know I love you more than anything.”

  Sly turns around in my embrace to hug me back. “I know that, baby girl, it’s just different hearing you talk about someone else in your life. I’m happy for you, but at the same time, I have to make sure my girl is ok.”

  This is what I love about Sly. He is always looking out for me. Growing up an only child, I wished over and over that I had a sibling, and Sly coming into my life made up for that. He truly felt like an older brother for me. I look up into his sparkling blue eyes and smile. “I’m going to run grab a shower, I’m all grubby from the hospital today. Connor should be here in about an hour or so. Let him in when he gets here.”

  Sly smacks me on the ass as I walk past him out of the kitchen. “It’s going to take you an hour to get ready? What happed to my Lynae?” he calls after me.

  I can’t help but laugh at him. He’s right. Usually when I’m getting ready to go out with him for an evening, I’m showered and dressed in about twenty minutes. I don’t spend time on my hair or makeup, but I want to look nice tonight. Connor has only seen me in my “work” look since Tuesday. I know he mentioned thinking that my glasses and scrubs were sexy, but I beg to differ. I’m hoping having Sly with me, my confidence will boost and I’ll feel a little more comfortable to let myself go with Connor.

  I decide on a pair of black leggings, a light green colored button down shirt that hangs just past my rear, and thick black belt for tonight matched with my basic black ballet flats. I dry my hair and add in a few loose curls to frame my face, but I leave it hanging down my back. I put on Michelle’s silver hoops that she left here a few months ago, and I’m all set. I go with a neutral makeup look because I’m nowhere near as talented with makeup application as Gabbi, and I’m afraid if I try too much, I’ll look like a clown.

  I hear two sets of male voices when I walk out of the bathroom into my bedroom. I hear Sly’s voice saying “You mess with my girl, I’ll kill you. I love that woman. She is my best friend, and deserves to be treated with respect.” Connor must already be here. I glance at the alarm clock on my nightstand; I’ve only been home for about thirty minutes. He’s early. I worry about Connor being left alone with Sly for too long, so I hurry along my finishing touches.

  Walking out of the bedroom, I see Connor sitting on the couch while Sly is glaring at him from the matching oversized chair. Connor immediately stands up, walking over to me to wrap me in a warm hug. “Sweetness, you look gorgeous.” He kisses me on the cheek, and I feel my face flame.

  Connor and I haven’t gone beyond soft and sweet kisses since Tuesday night, but I am yearning for more. I remember the commanding way his mouth took control, the way his tongue explored my mouth, his delicious taste. My body sways into his embrace, as I put my hands up to his chest to steady myself. It’s a really good thing I’m not planning on wearing heels again. He is the one who looks utterly gorgeous tonight. Connor has on loose fitting black jeans that hang low on his hips, his black boots that I have noticed he always wears, and a fitted white shirt with the sleeves rolled up above his elbows allowing a hint of his tattoo to peek out. I still haven’t seen the entire thing, and I am dying to.

  Michelle lets herself into the apartment without knocking on the door. “Where is that dumbass that keeps trying to steal my bitch?” she hollers tossing her purse on the kitchen counter. I absolutely love the banter between her and Sly. I wish he would move out here and just get together with her already.

  Sly jumps out of the chair, hopping over the couch to get to Michelle. “Listen, woman! We share custody of that little girl, and you need to learn to share! Now come here!” He pulls her into a hug that I notice lingers a little longer than it usually does.

  Connor looks from Michelle to Sly, then back down at me. He’s wrapped his arm around my waist, and is holding me tight against his side. “Um, is there something with these two?” he whispers in my ear. His warm breath is tickling me, sending shivers down my spine. “Seth has been asking about her.” He adds.

  Oh no! This could be interesting tonight. There is an obvious attraction between my two best friends, but I’m not sure they realize it, throw in another crazy man trying to vie for Michelle’s attention, and I think Sly may blow a gasket. He
’s just as protective over her as he is me, just in a different way. “They don’t seem to notice the tension between them, but there is definitely something going on.” I respond looking up into Connor’s eyes. Just looking into his eyes can make me weak in the knees.

  “Babe, keep on looking at me like that. I’ve been trying to behave myself, but when those hazel eyes give me that pleading look, it makes it very hard.” Connor leans down brushing his lips across my own. A small sigh escapes my lips as I open my mouth to him, which he takes full advantage of with his probing tongue.

  Before the kiss can progress, Michelle interrupts us. “Not now you two! I’m hungry, and I want to get over to Rivers early! Gabbi is meeting us there. I think she is having dinner with Wade, then headed over while they set up.” Michelle looks back to Sly, “I swear, Connor can’t keep his hands off Nae-Nae when they are together.”

  I catch the scathing look that Sly shoots towards Connor. That is not what a “big-brother” needs to hear, especially not after witnessing me kissing another man. The entire time Sly has known me, he’s never had to see me with anyone. Even when Matt and I had started dating before that night, Sly wasn’t around us when we were together, so he didn’t have to see it.

  Connor places one more soft kiss on my lips, “Let’s go, Sweetness, before I don’t want to leave.” Then he leaves me standing in the doorway of my bedroom with a smirk and my wits on the floor.

  “Oh dear God! Lynae, get your ass out here and lets go.” Sly is holding the door to my apartment open as he is ushering Michelle and Connor out.

  Trying to smile sweetly, I head towards my friends, grabbing my purse, I walk out the door. Tonight should be interesting. I love that I’ll get to see Connor perform again, I’ve really enjoyed watching Shameful Regret practice, but it seems like he takes on an entirely different persona on stage. It’s this persona that makes my heart beat faster and my insides clench with desire, a desire that I’m having a harder and harder time trying to fight.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Sly wanted to go to Angelo’s Italian Bistro. It is his favorite restaurant in Charleston, and it is convenient for parking and walking to Rivers, the club that Shameful Regret is playing at tonight. It has wonderful authentic Italian dishes and the best Tiramisu ever made. The corner booth we were seated in makes for a very cozy atmosphere. Michelle and I slide in first next to the wall, followed by our escorts for the evening. It is funny watching Sly observe Connor and I. We all rode together in my Escape, so we only have one vehicle to worry about, and Sly tried to sit up front with me out of habit. One look from Connor had him scurrying to the back to sit with Michelle.

  Connor takes the lead ordering our wine and appetizers. He orders a bottle of Merlot, saying that he noticed that was the only red wine I have in my kitchen, so he figures it was my favorite, and her ordered bruschetta for the table. Connor also keeps his hand on my thigh underneath the table, giving it a gentle squeeze every now and again.

  “So, Connor, Lynae hasn’t really told me much about you. Seeing as I haven’t been able to get her on the phone much this week, I’d like to make sure you’re good enough for my girl here.” Sly pins Connor with a very stern look.

  Michelle smacks Sly’s arm. “Oh, stop it. I’ve already given him the low down that if he hurts our Nae-Nae, that we will have his balls.”

  I absolutely hate that they are talking about me as if I’m not sitting right here, but at the same time, I love the fact that my friends are so protective of me. They may not know why I’ve kept away from the dating scene, but they at least want to make sure I’m dating someone who isn’t going to shred me, and Connor has the definite ability to do just that.

  Connor takes the questions with ease. “Look, you don’t know me, and Michelle doesn’t really know me. I’ve just met Lynae, but I can already tell she is very special. I want nothing more than to make her happy and protect her from any pain.” He gives me a knowing look as he puts his arm around my shoulders. “I have never met anyone quite like her before. I can sense something in her that I really want to learn more about. I get that you love her, I love the fact that she has friends like that to depend on.”

  This seems to appease Sly, because he simply nods and picks up his menu to decide on what entrée to order. I don’t know why, he always orders the same thing when he comes here. So do I. When our waitress came to take our orders, he doesn’t surprise me, he chooses the baked ziti and I get the chicken marsala. Michelle and Connor ordered lasagna and manicotti, then we ask for extra bread. What can I say? I love my carbs.

  Sly and Michelle continue their flirty banter throughout dinner, while Connor seems to keep quiet mostly unless he is asked a direct question. Connor is attentive to me, constantly keeping a hand on my thigh or brushing my hair behind my ear. He even leans over to place a chaste kiss behind my ear that makes me have anything but chaste thoughts.

  Sly watches our interactions with a brotherly eye. Turning to Michelle, he says, “I see what you mean. Rocker Boy is a little grabby handed with our girl.”

  “I told you. Know what surprises me? The fact that our girl seems to like it.” Michelle smirks. “She’s turning into quite the little vixen when we aren’t around.”

  ~

  Connor tells Michelle and Sly to go on ahead of us through the front of Rivers. He has arranged for them to get in cover free like he did last weekend at Silver. He says that he had to help the guys set up a few things backstage, so I went along with him.

  Walking down the back alley with Connor brings back a few memories of my last walk down one of the dark alleyways. We stop right beside the door to the back entrance when Connor gently pushes my back against the wall. “Sweetness, I have wanted to taste that mouth of yours again all week. I’m sorry I couldn’t contain myself at your place.” He leans down whispering in my ear. His lips are brushing against the sensitive spot behind my ear that he kissed in the restaurant.

  I moan at the feeling of his stubble against my skin. He didn’t shave before he came over tonight, and I love it. My hands grasp his hips, pulling him closer to me. I want to taste him again too.

  “Connor.” I sigh.

  His lips trail a path up my jaw to the corner of my lips. “Yes, Sweetness. Do you need something?” He asks before his mouth crashes down on mine. His tongue begs entrance by tracing the seam of my lips. I open for him, inviting him in. My tongue tentatively enters his mouth. Tasting him, caressing his tongue. He tastes of wine and coffee. A guttural groan vibrates deep within his chest. Connor’s hands come up, settling in my hair, pulling my head back. I arch up on my toes to try to get impossibly closer to him. I can feel his arousal through his jeans pressing into my abdomen. This should frighten me, but it only fuels the desire growing deep inside. I whimper, helpless to the onslaught of his mouth dancing with mine.

  Connor suddenly breaks our kiss with a sharp inhale of breath. “Damn, woman. You are trying to kill me here.” He leans down, rubbing his nose over my cheek. His breathing is as ragged as my own. I feel empowered that I have affected him as much as I have.

  I can’t get my voice to work. I just stare up at him. I am so glad that the wall behind me is holding me up, and I have Connor’s body pressed against my front. I know I would surely fall.

  “Let’s go on in before I take you right here, right now, against the bricks. And trust me, Sweetness, that is not how I want it to go.” Connor straightens himself up to his full height, then adjusts his pants, I suppress a giggle knowing that it was me that made him be in that predicament. I’m sure Seth and Wade would have something smart to say about it. Marcus hasn’t really talked to me much since that night at Silver, even when I’ve been over at Connor’s for the band’s practice. “Go on, laugh at me. Don’t think I won’t do it, either.”

  I look down at my shoes. His words don’t make me feel threatened; they make me feel truly wanted. “Alright, I want to get back to Michelle and Sly. He’s only here until Sunday, and I need to spend some time
with him.” I stand up on my tiptoes kissing Connor squarely on the lips. This is the first kiss I initiated, it doesn’t go unnoticed by him either as he tries to deepen the kiss again, but I push him back. “You said we needed to get inside. Don’t you have equipment to set up?” I bat my eyelashes at him.

  “You are evil, Babe.” Connor’s rich laugh melts my heart a little more, chipping away at the walls surrounding my heart.

  ~

  “Nae-Nae’s here!” Seth bellows from behind his drum kit on the floor. Great! A few hours alone with Gabbi, she has him calling me that blasted nickname. “Connor, quit keeping Nae-Nae all to yourself. She has yet to tell me how great my ass is today!” Seth walks around his drums to pull me into a big embrace that he has developed a fondness for doing. I think it’s just a ploy to feel my chest smashed against his, and to piss off Connor. Connor’s face gets this angry edge to him anytime someone other than him touches me.

  I hug Seth back, because I really have no other choice. He won’t put me back down unless I return the embrace. “Let me go!” I playfully smack his arm.

  Connor stalks up behind me placing a possessive arm around me, pulling me back into his chest. I rest my head back against his shoulder contentedly. “Where the hell is Wade?” Connor asks looking around.

  Gabbi and Wade pick that moment to come out of some office off the side hallway. Gabbi is straightening out her shirt and trying to smooth her hair back into place. Wade has a devious grin plastered on his face. There is no need to guess what they have been up to. “Nae-Nae!” Gabbi bounds up to me enveloping me and Connor in a big hug. I’m smashed between them in a Gabbi and Connor sandwich.