by Mia Knight
“You want to know why?” she asked.
“Yes,” he said through clenched teeth.
“Then let me go.”
His large chest expanded to capacity. She expected him to roar or go for her throat again. She could see him fighting with himself. She waited, knowing the scales could tip either way. When he ripped himself from her and walked away, she slumped against the wall. She watched the muscles in his back shift with detached fascination as he tried to control himself.
She ran her hand over her tender throat. She knew he wouldn’t understand, which is why she hadn’t discussed it with him. She did what was best for her.
Knowing she had a limited time to state her case made her anxiety rise. A warm breeze drifted over the cold sweat on her skin. Fragmented thoughts sped through her mind. Her heart began to race, and her body went numb from a chill that came from her soul. She could feel the panic attack coming along with the memories that wanted to drag her under. She braced her hands on her knees as she tried to catch her breath. She could still feel the impact of the shield as it connected with pliant flesh; the sound of snapping bone sounded sharp and delightful in her ears … She shook herself and tried to banish the sound of the crowd in the pit as they cheered her on.
“Lyla.”
She blinked several times before she was able to focus on Gavin who stood several feet away.
“I would do anything for you,” he said in a voice that gave away his thirst for violence. “And I expect the same in return.”
“I can’t get pregnant again because I’m not okay, Gavin, and neither are you.”
“We were fine until I found out you were lying to me.”
She straightened, arms crossed over her chest, as she whispered, “You weren’t there.”
“I wasn’t where?”
“You weren’t there when I found my dad standing over Nora and Carmen.”
“What?”
She paced in front of the open doors that led onto the terrace. She could feel his impatience from across the room and knew she was running out of time. She tried to assemble her words so she could make him understand.
“That night, it was me against them. Eight of them. No backup, no idea what I was doing.” She shuddered as an acrid taste filled her mouth. “I found Pat standing over them with a gun. He’s always been a shit, but I never thought he could … How could he? If I had opened the door two seconds later, if I had stayed outside, I would’ve lost them.” The thought chilled her to the core. “They hunted Nora. If I hadn’t killed those men, if Blade hadn’t come in time, if I hadn’t had another gun to give Carmen …” She could barely breathe past the terror. “We almost fucking lost her!”
“But we didn’t.”
“But we were so close to—”
“Vega and your fucking father are dead, so what the fuck are you talking about?”
“They’re dead, but other people like them are still out there!” she shouted. “Nora’s had a bounty on her head before she was born, and you want to bring more kids into that? I can’t protect her, and neither can you! When it came down to it, I had to hand her off to Carmen and tell her to run. I watched Manny die. I saw what they did to my mom. Do you know what they could do to a child?” The horror of such a thing made her lightheaded with terror. “Having more children is more ammunition against us, more ways to manipulate and exploit us. I can’t lose a child, Gavin. I wouldn’t survive—”
“You won’t.”
His quick, sure answer enraged her.
“How can you promise me that? Look at my mother! Everyone around us pays a price. Being in this life has taken a toll on me. I have waking nightmares, panic attacks, and my mood swings are insane. I hallucinate. I thought I saw Steven in the nursery one day, and I almost fired my gun. I could have hurt Nora; I could have hurt myself!” She hugged herself tight to stop herself from falling apart as she paced restlessly. “There are days, sometimes even weeks where I think I’m good, that I’m past it, but it always comes back.” She glared at him as a tear slipped down her cheek. “You think four months is long enough to move on? That I should be cured and ready to pop out more babies by now? I’m not. I’m not okay. And I don’t know if I ever will be.”
She swiped at her streaming eyes. She’d said her truth, and from the looks of it, he still didn’t get it. Well, how could he understand? He believed he was invincible. She knew for a fact that she wasn’t. That night at the safe house, she had done everything that was required of her, yet in the end, Nora’s life had been in Carmen’s hands. If Carmen hadn’t pulled the trigger …
“After my first kill in the pit, I couldn’t sleep for days.”
She stopped in her tracks and looked at him. His hands were clasped behind him, back ramrod straight. He didn’t continue; he just watched her with an intensity that made her want to back away.
“How old were you?” she asked.
“Twelve.”
Her stomach dipped. “Manny put you in the pit at twelve?” His words from the dream came back to her. I’m a bad man, baby girl. What the fuck, Manny?
“It was good training,” he said, voice devoid of emotion. “I started falling asleep in school. When I came home, Dad had me beaten to toughen me up.”
A chill traveled up her spine. She couldn’t align Manny with the monster Gavin was describing.
“Dad kept putting me in the pit. I had nightmares for years, but I got past it. I had the same stuff you do now— panic attacks, hallucinations, and fear.”
He walked toward her, and she took a step back. His jaw clenched, but he didn’t stop until he was directly in front of her.
“Am I a bad man?”
She jerked. “What?”
His eyes bored into hers. “Am I a bad man?”
“You can be,” she said.
“To you? Am I a bad man?”
“Sometimes.”
“And the other times?” he asked with an edge to his voice.
“You’re a dream.”
He reached out slowly and cupped her cheek. His thumb stroked her skin as he said, “I didn’t grow up in a loving home. I didn’t grow up with a mom or siblings. I went to school during the day, and when I came home, I was trained to kill. I put my life on the line once a month. Every time I stepped into the pit, I had to know I was gonna win. It’s all in your head. If you’re the best, then you are.”
She understood what he was saying in his Gavin way but, “I’m not the best.”
“You’re stronger than you think you are. You think you’re broken, but you’re not.” His hold on her firmed. “You will get better.”
She gripped his wrist. “I believe that, but I still want time.”
His eyes hardened. “I’m not going to let you hold us back.”
“We aren’t being held back. We’re living life and enjoying it.”
“You want Nora to have backup? She needs siblings. They’ll protect each other. Family is everything.”
“But it’s not over.”
“It is,” he ground out. “Vega’s dead.”
“What about Lucifer?”
His eyes narrowed. “Don’t worry about Lucifer. I’ll handle him.”
Lucifer saved her life, yet he was also the catalyst behind Steven’s deranged plan. She couldn’t wrap her mind around Lucifer’s motives. He was, in turns, abhorrent, logical, childish, and insane.
“Why would he double-cross Steven to make a deal to visit us once a year? It doesn’t make sense.”
This talk was long overdue. They hadn’t discussed what happened in Hell, and she’d been happy to ignore it, but it was time to bring it out in the open.
“Blade convinced him that you’re unique.”
She blinked. “Unique, how?”
“Lucifer’s fascinated by those in the real world who have his … tendencies.”
“What tendencies?”
“Mayhem, violence, murder.”
“He thinks I’m like him?”
“And you’re mine,” he added.
“So?”
“Lucifer’s known me a long time. I’ve never cared for anything the way I care for you. I would have bartered anything to get you back, and that intrigued him.”
“Lucifer mentioned you’re the closest thing he has to a brother,” she said quietly.
“We were the youngest to ever be put in the pit and survive. That’s all we have in common.” He pressed his forehead against hers. “I didn’t want kids. I wasn’t going to get married. I didn’t want any vulnerabilities … and then I met you.”
She pressed her hand against his chest. “Don’t.”
He placed his hand over hers. “You made me want things I shouldn’t. I should have let you live a normal life. I didn’t. I should have let you live on the road with Carmen. I didn’t. I should have given you time before getting you pregnant. I didn’t. I should have been at the safe house to save you from having to do what you did. I’ve made you break every moral you have. I’ll ask for more because we don’t live in a world where we can afford to have the same code as everyone else.”
He pushed her down on the bed and hovered over her with one hand on her stomach.
“There’s nothing more that I want in this world than to have more children.”
She swallowed, unsure if she could give him that.
“We owe it to Vinny and my dad to live life to the fullest. Nora’s my redemption, but the others will make it that much sweeter. Nora needs other to take the heat too because we’re gonna try to control everything, and she needs them to commiserate with. You’re lucky enough to have Carmen. I had Vinny. What would life have been like without them?”
Her heart ached. Carmen was everything to her. She wouldn’t be alive today without her. “Stop.”
“We can do this. I won’t let you down.”
“It’s not about that. It’s—”
He lifted her nightgown.
“It’s about …” She was distracted when he licked her belly button. “You never know what’s going to happen in future and—cut it out!”
He grabbed her leg and bent it up. “I know what’s going to happen. You’re going to get better and give me what I want.”
“In time, I …” she hissed when he began to lick her.
“I love you more than I thought I could. I want everything you have to give. No half measures, no waiting. The kids will be prepared. We’ll make sure of it. Don’t worry about Lucifer.” He breathed against her clit. “He won’t be an issue.”
“You don’t know that. You …” Her eyes rolled to the back of her head.
“I know I love you. Nothing will change that. I want babies with you. I want you pregnant. It’ll be a big fuck you to everyone who thinks we should be scared. You want them to think we’re afraid, baby?”
“No, I … I don’t know.”
“I told you when I wanted Nora that we were going to move on with our lives, and I’m telling you the same thing now. You don’t stop nature from taking its course, and you don’t keep secrets from me.”
He bit her inner thigh, and she kicked him in the shoulder with her other foot. He rose and slid into her.
“You’re going to give me what I want,” he decreed. “You don’t get time because I don’t know how much we have. If I died tomorrow, I want to know that tonight I got you pregnant, you understand?”
It finally clicked. If she lost him, that is exactly what she wanted. She wanted another piece of him. Nora wouldn’t be enough.
“You’ll give me warriors,” he announced as he shoved himself deep. “Our kids won’t grow up the way I did. You’ll love them and infuse them with your spirit. They’ll be trained to learn how to protect and defend. They can live however they want. That’s the legacy you gave them by having me step down from my position, and I’ll honor it.”
“Gavin.”
“I sacrificed everything to have you, and I’m going to get everything I can out of you. I need.” His head kicked back as he lost himself in her. “Too much. I’ll never stop needing.”
He began to thrust hard, dragging her to the edge where the mattress was firmer so he could go deeper.
“Take my cum. Take it deep. Fuck yeah.”
After he finished filling her, he pulled back and stared at her dripping pussy. He smacked her, and she jumped.
“What the hell!”
“Don’t you ever do something like that without talking to me again,” he growled as he slipped his hand through his sperm and pushed it back inside her. He rubbed her sensitive clit. He knew exactly what she liked. It didn’t take long before she was crying out beneath him. He slipped back into her as she came. His smile was feral as she milked him. He stayed in her until he was hard again and then fucked her until he blew another load.
“I’m calling in my favor.”
“What favor?” she mumbled against his skin.
“Today, in the water, you said I can have anything I want.”
She sighed. “You always get your way. It’s not fair.”
“I know what’s best for us.” He rolled her on top of him and rested his face in the hollow of her neck. “I’m going to give you everything you want, but it’s a two-way street. Some of the things I want, you don’t think you can give. I’ll be the judge of that.”
“Arrogant.”
He nibbled on her neck. “No, I’m the fucking best.”
9
A loud knock roused her from a sound sleep. She opened her eyes as Gavin rolled away from her. She sat up as he pulled on his pants. It took her a few seconds to recognize the master suite of the villa cast in moonlight. The warm, tropical breeze ruffled her hair as it drifted through the open terrace doors.
“Gavin?” she murmured.
“Hold on,” he said and grabbed his gun before he walked to the door.
When he opened it, she blinked blearily at the figure in the doorway.
“Blade?” she mumbled and glanced at the clock. It was two in the morning. What the hell? She rolled over and dragged the sheets over her head. She had just drifted back to dreamland when someone shook her awake.
“Lyla.”
A light came on, and the sheets were tugged away. She groaned and peered at Gavin’s face. She was so tired, she felt drunk. As his face swam into view, she registered the hub of activity in the living room and multiple male voices. As her eyes wandered over him, she saw that he had gotten dressed before waking her.
She sat up so fast, she felt lightheaded. “What’s wrong? Where’s Nora?”
“It’s not Nora. She’s still asleep,” Gavin said quietly.
“What’s going on?”
He stared at her for a long moment, conflicting emotions in his golden eyes before he said, “Carmen’s missing.”
“Carmen?” That was the last thing she expected to hear. She relaxed. “She’s probably out partying or something.”
“Angel called. They have footage of her being attacked by the Black Vipers.”
She stared at him for thirty seconds, unable to comprehend what he was saying. “What?”
“We’re waiting for word.”
“Word on what?”
He opened his mouth and then closed it. All trace of sleep fell away as his implication hit her like a ton of bricks.
“You’re waiting to see if someone will call in a ransom or word on her body?”
He was trying to be calm for her sake, but his energy leaked from his pores. He was worried, and that fucking terrified her. Dread and fear dug its talons into her heart.
“She has bodyguards, doesn’t she?”
“Mickey was found dead at the club where she was taken.”
It was starting all over again. Her skin burned as a chilling cold swept through her.
“You told me no more,” she whispered.
“Lyla, we’re going to get her back.”
She got on her knees and grabbed two fistfuls of his shirt. “This can’t happen again. I can’t lose my sister, Ga
vin. She’s … she’s a part of us. If she—”
He cupped her cheek and brushed a kiss over her trembling lips. His voice was a sinister rumble as he promised, “You won’t have to. I’m going to find her.” He kissed her once more and brushed away her tear. “Get packed. We’re going home.”
Author's Note
Hi everyone,
I hope you enjoyed Crime Lord’s Paradise. I decided to write Gavin and Lyla’s trip to Bora Bora as an extra scene for book 5 and within a day, realized I could expand it into something longer. This novella was a surprise to me and a welcome stress reliever. I’ve never been with any characters as much as I have with Gavin and Lyla. I fell into them as if I never left. I know where everything is in their house, what they’re thinking, and what they want. Freaking weird.
I had a great time writing this. If you follow me, you know I love character development and am always down for digging a little deeper, which is what this novella is about—adjusting the lens so we can see more color and depth in these characters for the future. I love trotting alongside characters and observing. I thought I was the only one who thought this was interesting, but it sounds like a bunch of you are down for the ride!
I have to thank everyone who has been so patient about book 5, even with such a terrible cliff-hanger. Books 5 and 6 have intersecting plots and timelines, which is why it’s taking so long. I will be working on both novels during the winter and releasing book 5 (part 2 of Carmen’s story) in early 2019.
Thank you all for your support, encouragement, and well wishes. They definitely make a difference and remind me how engaged people are with the stories. Not so long ago, I was writing for my own entertainment. It’s crazy that there’s a whole community waiting to see what happens next. It’s amazing and extremely humbling. I always try to craft the best story I can and that definitely takes time, so please be patient.
If you enjoyed Crime Lord’s Paradise, please leave a review! I will post any news I have about future releases as soon as I have any so look out for my newsletter, blogs, or social media (I prefer Instagram and Facebook. Twitter… I have no idea what I’m doing. LOL).