She sent my dad to the store with a massive grocery list, and she put me to work cleaning the entire downstairs of our house.
I was so busy helping Mom get ready for dinner, that I barely had time to get ready myself. In between dusting the dining room table and helping to chop onions, I finally snuck away to get a shower.
I pulled on a pair of cut-off denim shorts and a periwinkle off-the-shoulder top, then I braided my long hair into a messy bun at the nape of my neck and curled a few loose strands around my face.
I wasn’t sure if was the summer sun, or if Vanessa had a point about Brady making me glow… either way, my complexion had never been more clear or radiant. I skipped my foundation and rubbed some bronzer over my cheeks, then applied a few strokes of mascara on my dark lashes.
As soon as I stepped foot back in the kitchen, Mom immediately put me back to work.
“I’ll take over here,” I told her, gently easing her away from the cutting board where she was forming hamburger patties out of bright red ground beef. “You go get ready!”
“Ok,” Mom agreed reluctantly. “Just… keep an eye on your father, ok? I don’t want him to burn the house down out there…”
I rolled my eyes and smiled, glancing at my dad through the back window. As if on cue, he waved back wearily from his spot behind the grill.
“I’m sure he can manage the grill,” I assured Mom. “And if there are any problems, we’ll have two very competent firefighters to help us out!”
Mom nodded and started heading up the stairs, then she turned back to me:
“Don’t forget to check on the corn!”
“I got it, Mom!” I called back.
I took a deep breath, then started forming hamburger patties. After I had finished the stack, I carried them outside to my dad.
“Mom’s really stressing out,” I whispered. “Do you think this was a bad idea?”
“I think this was exactly what your mother needed,” Dad whispered back. “Do you know how long it’s been since your mother had something other than cancer to stress out about? I think this is exactly what she needed.”
I headed back to the house to clean up, and as soon as I slid the dishes into the sink I heard the doorbell ring. My heart raced: Brady!
I dried my hands on a towel, then I went to answer the front door.
The sight of Brady and Josh, all grown up and standing side-by-side on my front porch, immediately caught me off guard.
“Wow!” I shook my head, “I think the last time I saw both of you standing there, we were all probably in elementary school!”
“Oh, how the times have changed,” Josh said darkly, giving me a dry smirk.
“Umm… yeah, they certainly have,” I said. Then I stepped aside so that the guys could step into the house. Josh immediately passed me and walked towards the kitchen, and Brady stopped and wrapped his arms around my waist. His fingers threaded through the loops of my jean shorts, and he tugged up gently… knowing exactly where I’d feel the pressure of the seam.
“Hey Ladybug,” he said, bending forward to kiss me.
“Hey yourself,” I smiled, taking a deep breath of his cologne. Then: “What’s up with your brother? He seems… weird?”
“Yeah, he’s…” Brady shook his head. His voice trailed off and he glanced towards the kitchen. “I’ll explain later.”
“Oh,” I frowned, confused. “Ok.”
Brady took my hand and we walked towards the kitchen together.
“Josh!” I heard Mom’s voice squeal from the stairs. She plowed down the steps and dashed across the kitchen to greet Josh in a warm hug.
Josh’s demeanor had been stiff and strange on the front porch, but he immediately softened when her felt my mom’s frail shoulders in his arms. His eyes flicked meaningfully towards Brady, and I saw them both exchange a look that I didn’t quite understand.
Mom gave Brady a hug, and by the time she was done greeting them both she was so worn out that she had to take a seat at the table and fan herself with one of our wedding invitations.
“I’m sorry we haven’t been able to do this sooner,” Mom said wearily, catching her breath.
“Don’t be,” Brady said firmly. “Actually, we should be apologizing for not helping out more…”
“Don’t be silly,” Mom said. “You’ve helped plenty.”
“Brady is a helpful guy,” Josh said darkly, his eyes flashing towards his brother again.
This time Mom noticed the tension, too. She frowned slightly, and nodded:
“He really is,” she said slowly. “Your mother would be so proud of the young men that you both have become.”
Josh’s face flickered and he frowned.
“I’m sorry she couldn’t be here to see you grow up,” Mom continued. “I know how much it would have meant to her…”
Josh scowled at the floor.
“But I hope you know that we’re your family, too,” she added. “Even if it’s not quite the same…”
The sliding glass door suddenly slipped open, and we all glanced up to see Dad step into the house with a plate of freshly grilled hamburgers and hot dogs.
“Hot off the grill!” he announced proudly with a smile, completely oblivious of the tense moment that he had just interrupted.
We all filed into the dining room and sat around the table. I sat next to Brady, and I felt his warm hand wrap around my thigh under the table. The security of his grip helped to ease the uncertainty that was brewing in my stomach… and the tension that I felt, every time I looked at Josh.
“Dig in!” Dad said, surveying the spread of food.
Mom was the first to reach for a scoop of potato salad, and we all followed her lead, filling our plates with food.
“So, Josh,” Dad said, spooning a hefty serving of coleslaw onto his plate. “Were you just as shocked by all of this wedding news as we were?”
I bit into my bottom lip and Brady’s grip on my thigh tightened under the table. Josh glanced up from his plate, and a dark smile turned up at the corners of his mouth.
“I was completely shocked, Mr. Laurent,” he said. “In fact, I still can’t believe it.”
“Really?” Mom asked. “Were you two keeping it a secret from Josh, too?”
I blinked a few times, trying to recall what we had told my mother.
“We thought it was for the best,” Brady nodded quickly. “The less people that knew, the better.”
“Wow,” Mom shook her head, “That breaks my heart, knowing that you lied to your own brother… for my sake.”
“For your sake?” Josh was confused.
“Yes,” Mom nodded. “Brady and Cassidy said that they kept their relationship a secret so that I wouldn’t get my hopes up.”
Josh’s face darkened and the scowl forming between his eyebrows deepened.
“Can I ask you something, Mrs. Laurent?” he said.
“Of course, sweetie!”
I gulped. I could feel the heat building in Brady’s palm, and I could feel the faint pounding of his pulse…
What the hell is going on?!
“Do you think it’s wrong to lie, if you’re doing it to make someone happy?”
Mom cocked her head and frowned, confused.
“I’m not sure I understand,” she said slowly.
“Well,” Josh said, “Take Cassidy and Brady for example. You said that they lied about their relationship, so that you wouldn't find out they were dating and get your hopes up. Right?”
“Right…”
“Well, isn’t that… wrong?” Josh asked.
“I…” Mom stammered, shaking her head slowly. “I think that their intentions were good, so no… I don’t think it’s wrong.”
“But,” she added, “I would have preferred to know the truth. Even if I did end up disappointed because things didn’t work out, I would always prefer to know the truth.”
“Interesting,” Josh’s eyes flick
ed up to Brady.
“Is there a reason you’re asking me this?” Mom asked, still looking confused.
“No,” Josh shook his head casually. “Just… curious.”
Then Josh snapped his eyes to me, and I felt my stomach turn into knots.
“So, if you’re not hiding your relationship anymore,” he said, directing the question at me, “Why aren’t you wearing a ring?”
Mom’s eyes flicked to my finger too, and she frowned as if she was noticing it for the first time.
“We had to send it to get resized,” I said, “And it still hasn’t gotten back yet…”
“When did you send it to the jewelers?” Josh narrowed his eyes.
“Umm,” I gulped. “A while ago… I can’t remember…”
“Does it usually take several weeks to resize a ring?” Josh asked, folding his arms across his chest.
“I’m not sure,” I shrugged, trying to appear indifferent. “I’ve never had to get a ring resized before.”
“Well maybe you should call the jeweler and check on it, honey,” Mom said gently. “Now that Josh mentions it, it has been a while…”
“I’ll call tomorrow,” Brady said.
“I can’t wait to see it!” Mom smiled at Brady. “I’m sure you picked out a beautiful ring!”
“Maybe you can describe it for us?” Josh asked, smiling wickedly.
Brady’s hand left my thigh and he jerked his chair backwards, standing up.
“Is something wrong?” Mom asked, startled.
Brady blinked absently, then he patted his pocket.
“I just felt my pager go off,” Brady said. “Josh and I need to get to the firehouse, ASAP.”
“We don’t even have pager--” Josh started to object, but nobody seemed to hear him.
“Oh no!” Mom gasped. “Is there a fire?”
“Can I give you boys a ride to the station?” my dad offered.
“I can drive us there,” Brady said. “But thank you. Come on Josh, let’s go.”
Josh glared up at his brother, but he reluctantly pushed out his chair and stood up.
“I’m so sorry, Mrs. Laurent,” Brady said.
“Don’t be sorry,” Mom said. “Duty calls…”
I watched as they both walked out of the room and excused themselves through the front door, then I turned slowly back to my parents. They looked just as confused as I felt.
“I didn’t realize they were on-call all the time,” Mom hissed across the table, even though Josh and Brady were already out of the house.
They aren’t, I thought darkly. And he doesn’t have an emergency pager, either…
“I’ll be right back,” I said. “I’m just going to… make sure they get on their way alright.”
I excused myself from the table and opened the front door. I immediately saw Brady and Josh at the edge of our driveway, locked in a heated confrontation.
As I got closer, I could hear their voices:
“This is so beyond fucked up,” Josh sneered. “Mrs. Laurent doesn’t deserve to be lied to or manipulated like that.”
“It’s not like that, Josh...” Brady tried to reason with his brother.
“You know, for the first time in my life, I’m glad Mom isn’t here right now,” Josh snapped. “She would hate the man that you’ve become. There’s no way she would have wanted this…”
I was so stunned by the words that I lost my footing and tripped over the landscaping that lined our driveway. I managed to catch myself, but I still let out a loud gasp.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE | BRADY
My eyes flicked up and I saw Cassidy, watching us from the edge of the driveway with wide eyes.
“We’ll finish this conversation later,” I muttered to Josh. “I’m going to go back and apologize to Mrs. Laurent--”
“Good idea,” Josh called after me. His face wrinkled in disgust as his eyes shifted from me to Cassidy. “While you’re at it, maybe you can apologize for lying to her, too. Starting with the lie about the fake pager and the fake emergency call.”
I stopped in my tracks and exhaled through my gritted teeth.
“This is your fault, too,” Josh snarled at Cassidy. “It’s so fucked up that you’re putting your mom through this, after everything she has already been through. She deserves better. She deserves a lot better.”
“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” I demanded, shoving my brother’s shoulders back. “Don’t talk to Cassidy that way!”
My eyes flicked back to Cassidy. Her face had gone red and streaks of tears were slashing down her cheeks.
“Cass, don’t listen to him,” I told her, but she just shook her head and blinked through the tears.
“He’s right, Brady,” she said sadly. “This is fucked up and wrong… we shouldn’t be doing this.”
“Cass, you don’t mean that…” I felt my face crumple, and I took a few steps towards her. I reached out to grab her hands, but she pulled away.
“We’re playing a game that nobody can win,” she said. “Everyone just loses.”
“We didn’t lose,” I said. “Cass, I won you…”
“Don’t kid yourself,” she shook her head. “You didn’t win anything. I guilt-tripped you into marrying me. Now we’ve lied and hurt everyone else in the process…”
“This isn’t a lie,” I said. “None of this is a lie to me, Cass… none of this is fake anymore. This is how I really feel, and this is what I really want.”
Cassidy pinched her eyes shut. I could see the guilt and hurt burning through her face as tears poured down her cheeks.
“We can make this work,” I said. My voice was soft as I pleaded with her. “We can make this right…”
“The only way that we can make this right,” she said softly, “Is to stop this before it goes any further.”
“Ladybug...” I could hear my own voice starting to falter.
“Stop making this harder than it needs to be,” Josh snarled, stepping up behind me. “It’s over, Brady. This whole big lie that you’ve built for yourself… it’s all over. Accept it, move on…”
Cassidy couldn’t look me in the eye. She turned on her heel and ran back towards the house.
My instincts told me to run after her, but what good would that do? What would Mr. and Mrs. Laurent think? Would that just make everything worse?
I turned back to my brother and I felt a wave of hatred snake through my entire body. I had always felt a range of emotions for Josh -- pity, compassion, responsibility, obligation… but I had never felt pure, bitter loathing before.
There was a lump in the back of my throat that felt like gravel. I swallowed and stepped towards my brother.
“Why can’t you just mind your own fucking business and back off?” I growled.
“This is my business. And it always has been my business,” Josh said, stepping towards me. “It became my business the second you got Cassidy and Mrs. Laurent involved. They’re my family, too. And I can’t let you hurt them like this.”
“Don’t act all high and mighty,” I snorted. “You’re not standing here because you care about Cassidy or Mrs. Laurent. The only person you care about is yourself. You’re so bitter and miserable, and you can’t stand to see anyone else be happy.”
“What are you talking about?”
“It’s so obvious, Josh,” I said. “You’re jealous. You’ve always been jealous. When we were kids, you were jealous that I got to spend more time with Mom before she died. You were jealous that Dad liked me more than he liked you--”
“He didn’t like you more,” Josh interrupted. “You were just better at following orders and kissing his ass than I was.”
“I was better at a lot of things,” I barked back. “And I still am. You would have been lost without me. If I didn’t get you that job at Firehouse 56, you’d probably still be scrubbing gum off the streets in Hartford.”
“Well at least I’d have some fucking d
ignity,” Josh raised his voice. “Instead of having everything handed to me because of Dad.”
“I haven’t had anything handed to me,” I stepped forward. “I worked my ass off for everything that I’ve had! Maybe if you had learned how to work for things, you wouldn’t still be stuck living in my shadow!”
“Some shadow,” Josh scoffed. “Look at yourself, Brady. What exactly am I so jealous of? Am I jealous that you were in some cheesy pin-up calendar a few years ago? Am I jealous that you get more pussy than me? Am I supposed to be jealous that you’re on the front page of the newspaper, and everyone in Hartford thinks you’re some kind of hero?”
I was fuming, but I said nothing.
“I’m happy, Josh,” I said in a flat, low voice.
“Are you?” my brother scoffed, shaking his head. “How can you be happy? This is all a lie…”
“None of this is a lie to me!”
“Really? So, you honestly think you’d be marrying Cassidy right now, if Mrs. Laurent wasn’t sick?”
I pinched my eyes shut. Even though Cassidy was gone, the image of her crying in her driveway was still etched into my memory. I saw her trembling with emotion as tears rolled down her cheeks, and I wanted nothing more than to wrap my arms around her and kiss away the pain.
Then I opened my eyes, and she disappeared.
“Of course you wouldn’t,” Josh laughed, assuming that my silence was an answer to his question. “You’d still be fucking anything in a miniskirt at Rusty’s Tavern. You told me yourself that you weren’t ready to settle down. Nothing has changed…”
“Everything has changed,” I growled.
“Oh yeah? Like what?”
“I want to be with Cassidy, no matter what,” I raised my voice, and I could feel the anger rushing through my veins.
My brother stepped forward, his face directly in front of mine, so close that I could see the red in his eyes and count the beads of sweat on his forehead…
“You’re full of shit,” Josh hissed. I felt his hands press into my chest and push me back, and it ignited a rage inside of me.
“I love her!” I shouted back.
The Complete Firehouse 56 Series Page 13