“Excuse me,” I said.
He moved a little, and I got a better look at that floppy, dark hair. It was Zev!
I moved closer and was about to call out to him, but his name got stuck in my throat.
He wasn’t alone.
He was with Bethanne.
But they weren’t just standing there. Zev’s mouth was attached to hers. They were kissing.
Everything seemed to happen so slow and so fast at the same time. I gasped and the bottle slipped from my hand, shattering at my feet. Kind of like my life.
Images and sounds swirled around me. Someone asking me if I was okay, the whispering and ogling from my classmates, and then, of course, Zev. He turned and caught my eye. His mouth was agape and his expression one of panic.
“Sari, it’s not—”
I didn’t wait for an explanation. I just ran. There was nothing he could say. I pushed through the crowd until I was outside. I heard Amy yell to shut the door, but I didn’t care. I just needed to get away. Away from the memory of the guy I loved kissing someone else. Of his lips, those soft lips that were supposed to be mine, touching Bethanne. Away from the image of the two of them pressed up against each other. I had been so stupid to believe nothing was going on between them. Now I knew the truth, even though part of me wished I didn’t. And away from the reality that Zev and I were no longer Zev and I.
But no matter how far I ran, I couldn’t erase the hurt I was feeling.
THREE
Somehow I’d made it down the steps and partway up the street. I felt the urge to collapse right onto the ground, but there was no way I was going to let that happen. I wiped away tears with the back of my hand, but more just kept coming. I needed to pull it together. Zev couldn’t be too far behind me, and he was not going to see what a mess he turned me into. No way I was giving him that satisfaction. I needed a place to hide. Quickly.
Paul’s street and the surrounding ones were residential. Why couldn’t he live near a bodega or a twenty-four-hour CVS like the rest of Manhattan? There was nothing but town houses, apartment buildings, trees, and cars around here.
Cars. I had access to one of them.
I fished through my bag until I found Trina’s key chain. I pushed the button to unlock the car, and the alarm wailed.
Crap. I had no idea how to turn this thing off. I looked back at the door. Still no sign of Zev, but who knew how much time I had? Probably not long. I kept hitting the button. The noise finally stopped. I opened the door, got in the backseat, locked myself in, and let my head rest on the seat.
I so wanted this to be a dream. One that I’d wake up from any second. Only I knew that wasn’t the case. Zev cheated on me. It was hard to believe, but I saw it with my own eyes. Not just me. Jeremy, Chaya, Seth, Tova, everyone in that kitchen. Zev didn’t even care that the whole school would be gossiping about how poor Sari got dumped in the most brutal way possible. I didn’t even want to think about the looks of pity they’d be giving me.
“Sari! Where are you? Sari!”
My body went still at the sound of Zev’s voice. I squeezed my eyes shut and prayed he didn’t find me.
“Sari!” he called again. I used to love the way he said my name, now it made my chest hurt. “Sari!” His voice was getting closer. I hoped he didn’t recognize Trina’s car. He’d only ridden in it a handful of times. I curled up into the tiniest ball I could manage.
Another pair of footsteps ran over. “Just go, Zev.” It was Trina. Hearing her voice only made me cry harder.
“I need to talk to her,” he said.
“You did enough,” she told him. “I’ve got this.”
“No, I need to explain.”
“No, you need to go.” Her voice was seething. “I’m serious, Zev. Get of here. Now. She’ll talk to you when she wants to.”
A few seconds, a minute, an hour went by. I couldn’t tell. It felt like an eternity, but was probably mere moments. Time always seemed slower when you didn’t want it to be. There was a light knock on the window. “Sari,” Trina said.
I didn’t look up. “Are you alone?”
“Yes,” she answered softly.
I clicked the button on the key chain, and slid over to make room for her as she got into the car beside me.
She put her hand on my back. “I’m so sorry.”
My whole body convulsed and tears poured out of me. Not the quiet sobs from before, but loud, raw ones. The type you’d never see on TV because they’re red faced, snot filled, and ugly. Trina leaned down, her body on mine, and she wrapped her arms around me. “We’ll get through this,” she said. “We’ll get through this.”
Then she just let me cry it out.
A few minutes after my wails turned back to silent tears, I sat up.
“I wish I had a tissue for you,” she said.
“I have one in there.” I gestured toward my purse on the floor.
She smiled at me and handed me my bag. “Of course you do.”
I took one out and looked at my reflection in the rearview mirror. I was a mess. The giant top bun I had so carefully pinned up earlier was coming undone, with random strands of wavy, golden-brown hair sticking out in every direction. My eyes were red rimmed and glossy. The tears made them a brighter blue than usual. I would have liked the color under different circumstances. My makeup was frightening. Black streaks went all the way to my chin. If I was auditioning for the part of a serial killer in a horror film, I’d probably have gotten it. I didn’t even bother trying to wipe it off. I just blew my nose. It was fitting that I looked as bad as I felt.
“So you heard what happened?” I asked.
Trina nodded.
“Everyone knows?” I was pretty sure of the answer, but I needed to know for sure.
She nodded again.
“I’m so stupid,” I said.
“No, you’re not.”
Yeah, I was. I had fallen for every line Zev Geller had ever fed me.
“Sari, he’s the idiot. Not you. You deserve better.”
I reached for another tissue and saw my phone blowing up. Zev’s name and a picture of us at the junior prom appeared on the screen. “Guess who it is?” I said while hitting Decline.
There were four missed calls and seven texts.
“Maybe you should talk to him,” Trina suggested. “See what he has to say?”
I shook my head. “I want nothing to do with him.” Another text popped up, and I deleted it along with every other message he ever sent me. There was no coming back from this. It was better to just cut it off cold turkey.
My phone rang again.
Trina looked at me. “I’ll be really quiet if you want to answer it.”
I shook my head.
I turned off the ringer, but I could still see Zev’s name popping up. He just kept calling. “Seriously!” I said, throwing the phone down on the seat between Trina and me. “He needs to stop. I can’t deal with this right now. I can’t talk to him. I can’t even say his name. It hurts to just look at it.”
Trina picked up the phone. “Then He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is history,” she said and changed Zev’s contact information to read Voldemort.
“Thanks.”
She put her arm around me. “I’m here for you. Anything you need.”
“Want to take my place on a trip to Florida tomorrow?” I threw my head back against the seat. “How am I going to survive that? The flight. The car ride. It’s going to be hell. His parents are picking me up tomorrow and driving us to the airport.”
“Not anymore,” she said. “They were supposed to pick you up at eleven, right?”
I nodded.
“Well, I’m picking you up at eight. We’ll get you to the airport super early and see if you can get a standby flight. Then you won’t even have to see him.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” she said.
This could work. A week sulking in Florida definitely beat a week sulking in New York with my parents asking a million quest
ions.
“I still need to—”
She put up her hand. “I will contact Voldemort and let him know you no longer need a ride,” she said, reading my mind.
“Thank you.”
“It’s what best friends are for. Now please tell me you have a makeup wipe in that bag of yours,” she said, looking inside it. “Your mother will freak if she sees you like this.”
She found one and handed it to me.
“Seriously,” I said, putting my head on her shoulder. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“Lucky for you,” she said, “you never have to find out.”
Even with everything that had just happened, I actually smiled. I might have had lousy taste when it came to picking a boyfriend, but my choice in a best friend was on point.
FOUR
“Sari, is that you?” my dad asked as I opened the door.
I had really hoped he’d be asleep, but I should have known better. My parents never went to bed until my little brother, Dan, and I were home and safely in our rooms for the night.
“Yep,” I called out to him, “see you in the morning.”
“What? No good night?”
I took a deep breath, stepped into the living room, and braced for an inquisition. It wasn’t just Dad in there. It was Mom, too. Perfect.
She dog-eared the page in her book and gave me her undivided attention. “How was the concert?”
“Good.”
“That’s it?” my dad asked. “You talked about this concert for weeks, begged us to let you stay out, and all we get is ‘good’?”
“Really good,” I said. “Amazing.”
I knew I was fortunate to have parents who cared and wanted to know what was going on in my life, but right now a tiny bit of apathy would have been greatly appreciated. I just wanted to hide under the covers and pretend this night never happened. Answering questions was about the last thing I wanted to do.
My mom’s eyes zeroed in on me. “Are you okay?”
I felt myself squirm under her gaze. “Yeah.”
“Have you been crying?”
Why did she have to be so observant? “It’s just really hot out.” That part was true. We’d been having freakishly warm weather for this time of year. “My makeup practically melted.”
Now both of my parents were studying me.
“I’m fine, really.”
“Sari, what’s wrong?” my dad asked.
I wasn’t getting out of there without giving them something. “Zev and I got in a fight. It’s nothing,” I lied. I didn’t feel like going into the whole thing right now. I couldn’t, not without having another breakdown. It didn’t help that my parents loved Zev and would be disappointed, too.
My mom came over and kissed the top of my head. “I’m sure you two will work it out. You have the whole ride to the airport, and the flight to talk things out.”
“Yeah,” I said. “Speaking of tomorrow. I’m going to get up early and meet Trina for breakfast and go to the airport from there. Zev knows where I’ll be.” I didn’t want to risk telling my parents the truth. If they knew Trina was taking me to catch an early flight, there was a good chance they’d veto the idea.
My mom pursed her lips together. I knew she was hoping to have a “family” morning before I went away for the week, but I’d have been lousy company anyway. There was no way I’d get through breakfast pretending everything was all platinum-record-and-Grammy-winning-dream worthy. Besides, this was good practice for them for when college started, and I wouldn’t be around as much.
My little brother appeared from his room. “Why did you guys force me go to bed if you were going to keep me up with all your talking?” he asked.
“Sorry,” my dad told him. “We’ll be quieter.”
Dan to the rescue. I decided to use that as my way out.
“Can I go to bed now, too?” I asked.
My parents were still scrutinizing me, but finally said okay after I promised to give them a proper good-bye in the morning.
I plugged my phone in to charge and rested it on my suitcase so I wouldn’t forget it tomorrow. Trina’s talk with Zev hadn’t stopped him from trying to get in touch with me. There were twenty-two texts from Voldemort waiting for me. The latest message was still visible on my screen.
Please what? Ignore the fact that he was a cheating jerk who broke my heart? I didn’t need more of his lies. I erased all the texts again and kicked the suitcase. It was a painful reminder of everything that happened. I had been so excited for this trip. I thought it was going to bring us even closer. What a pathetic, lovesick dork I had been.
Tears filled my eyes again. How was I supposed to get over him? I sat back on my bed. I had never felt this empty before. Not when I got passed over for the lead in Little Shop of Horrors, not when I got kicked off marching band for missing too many practices (I was more focused on my guitar work than on my drumming and moving in formation, but I really wanted to do both), not even in the eighth grade when Quinn Ridely (Bethanne’s best friend) posted a picture on GroupIt of my head superimposed on Jabba the Hutt’s body and wrote “Only a slight improvement.” All those things seemed like nothing compared to the pain I was feeling now.
I reached for my guitar, Ruby, carefully pulling her out of the case. Touching the small red jewel I’d stuck on the front as a child, I couldn’t help but smile a bit through my tears. Some things were a constant, like me and Ruby. Looked like we’d be spending a lot of time together this week. More than usual. I’ve heard pain is great material for songwriting, maybe this would be the silver lining to this whole disaster.
I grimaced at the saying. Silver lining. My dad used that all the time, a silly family joke, and I’d always roll my eyes. But now I needed it to be true.
I let out a deep breath. I was going to make something happen on this trip. I was going to take my music to the next level. I didn’t need Zev to make me happy. I’d be perfectly fine all by myself.
I grabbed my phone and punched up Voldemort’s name and typed: We’re over.
My eyes lingered on the words. They stung, but I hit Send anyway.
He hadn’t given me any choice; not after what he’d done.
Zev and I were officially through.
FIVE
Together Trina and I pulled my suitcase from the trunk of her car. It weighed a ton. I had slightly overpacked. When I was throwing everything in, I wasn’t exactly sure what Zev and I would be doing, so I wanted to make sure I had all my options covered. There were formal dresses, casual-chic looks, and comfy but cute sportswear. I could have pulled most of the stuff out, I really only wanted sweats and T-shirts now, but I couldn’t bring myself to go through it all. So I just lugged it with me. It may not have been the wisest choice.
“Now you remember what you have to do?” she asked.
“Trina.”
“Don’t Trina me. Repeat it back. Rule one.”
I shook my head. “I am not doing that.”
She put her hands on her hips. “There is no better way to get over a guy than by finding another one, and you’ll be in Florida during spring break. I expect detailed stories when you return.”
“I’ll be at a retirement community. I don’t think I’ll be finding the type of guys you’re envisioning, not unless there’s a time machine involved.” Not that I even wanted to meet someone new. Obviously, I couldn’t sulk over Zev forever, but it had only been a day. I wasn’t ready to move on. Not yet. Not even close.
“Well, you have to keep to rule number two, at least.”
“That’s a given.” Rule Two was that we had to talk/text every day. “When have I ever slacked on that?”
She smirked. “Eighth grade.”
“That was not my fault.” In the seven years we’d been BFFs we’d gone only five days without communicating, and that was just because my parents confiscated my phone and grounded me from the computer, TV, and every other electronic device. I had allegedly stolen Quinn’s top whi
le she was showering after gym class and replaced it with a handcrafted extra-long T-shirt that read: I’M MEAN BECAUSE I’M INSECURE. The back said: & BECAUSE I HAVE A STICK UP MY BUTT. There was even a little bedazzled staff and butt crack.
Somehow the fire alarm went off right then resulting in her having to go and stand in front of the whole school in her new attire. I put on a Jabba the Hutt T-shirt as I walked outside. When I passed her, I said, “I think you forgot that before Luke Skywalker, Jabba destroyed his enemies. I’d call us even now.” I totally got suspended, but it was worth it.
“I’m going to miss you,” Trina said.
“Me too, but we’re going to be talking so much you won’t even realize I’m gone.”
I got my knapsack from the backseat and threw it over my shoulder, and Trina handed me my guitar case and a little bag from Andrea’s, our favorite bakery in the whole city.
“It’s a surprise for on the plane, if you get upset or sad or even stuck on your original flight. It’s totally better than He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.”
“You didn’t have to do this.”
She shrugged. “I wanted to. Should I wait and see if you get standby?”
I shook my head. “You better get going. That traffic agent is shooting us death glares.” I gave her a hug, as best I could with all my stuff, thanked her for everything, and then watched her drive off.
It was just me now.
I rolled my suitcase through the automatic doors. This was definitely not the trip I had been planning. The airport was busy, but it wasn’t packed like I had expected. In fact, most people were using the self-serve check-in. There were only two people in line for the counter. I got to the front in minutes.
“Let me see,” the agent said, after I asked if there were any earlier flights I could get on. “There’s actually a seat left on a flight boarding in thirty minutes. You’ll have to hurry.”
I checked my bag and rushed to security. This was going to be cutting it close, but to my surprise I actually made it through the line and screening quickly. Something in my life was finally going right. I didn’t know what was with all those people who complained about flying; this was great. After I made my way through, I slipped my shoes back on and ran to the gate.
Airports, Exes, and Other Things I'm Over Page 2