There was a mixture of relief and fear as the automatic doors to my escape opened. Relief that I was one step closer to home, fear because Mother Nature seemed to resent my homecoming. Wind smacked me in the face, sending my hair flying in every direction, and even though we were still under an awning, we were getting sprayed with rain. It wasn’t incredibly heavy yet, but the gusts were sending it everywhere. I opened the umbrella, but it didn’t stop the water that was being blown at my body.
“That’s Dylan’s car,” Fitz yelled, pointing to a car about ten feet away on the other side of the street. “Run for it?”
I nodded, and I gave it my best attempt, but with an umbrella, backpack, guitar, giant rolling suitcase, and heels from hell, it was more like a turtle-paced jog.
“Let me help you,” Zev said, staying by my side.
“No.” I’d rather have been blown away to Oz than take another favor from him.
Fitz made it to the car and looked back at us. Before I knew it, he jogged over and took my suitcase and Ruby. “Let me,” he said.
I didn’t object. He made it back to the car a second time before I even got there once.
He was waiting under an awning outside the car with a guy, who had to be Dylan, when Zev and I finally approached.
“Sari,” I said, introducing myself.
“Dylan.” Whoa, Fitz’s friend was just as hot as Fitz. He was about five foot ten, Asian, beautiful brown eyes, amazing cheekbones, really warm smile, and killer abs which I totally tried not to stare at even though his T-shirt was plastered against them due to the rain. Well, if I had to be stuck in a car with my ex, at least there were two hot guys coming along, too.
“And I’m Zev.”
I very maturely did not throw in that his alias was the lying, cheating lowlife of New York City or Voldemort or Lucifer or whatever else I could come up with. Instead I just said, “Thank you so much for taking us. You don’t know how much this—”
Dylan interrupted me. “Definitely want to hear more about you guys, but why don’t we do it once we’re all packed up and in the car?”
“Smart thinking,” I said.
“All this is yours?” Dylan asked, surveying our luggage. “I didn’t realize there’d be so much. Might be a tight fit. Let’s see what we can do.”
Tight fit was an understatement. Dylan’s car was a little sedan, and his trunk was filled with stuff he was bringing back to school. I held the umbrella over the trunk as we tried to maneuver, but I was just getting in the way, so I shut it. Instead, we just tried to load the car as fast as possible.
We took out one of Dylan’s boxes and managed to get all the carry-ons and Fitz’s suitcase in the trunk, but that still left the box, my giant suitcase, guitar and Zev’s duffel—which wasn’t exactly minuscule, either. “Sorry, these are going to have to go in the back with you,” Dylan told Zev and me.
“That’s fine,” I said. “We can put them in between us.” That was even preferable, it was like my own little gate keeping Zev away from me.
Fitz and Dylan tried to maneuver my suitcase into the middle seat, but it just about hit the ceiling of the car, blocking vision to the rear window. Fitz pulled it out of the backseat. “I think one of you is going to have to sit in the middle, so we can put this on the floor in the back.” When I was a kid I loved that elevated middle floor section. I thought of it as a little footrest, but now it meant I’d have to sit next to Zev again.
Fitz put the suitcase on the floor behind the passenger’s side, put the box on the seat and then piled the duffel on top. The guitar was going to go half on that, half on my lap. “Think you guys will be okay?”
“Yeah.” We would have to be. I needed to get back to New York. I squeezed into the middle seat, and even though Zev was super skinny, we barely fit with all the stuff. He angled himself so he was almost sitting on his hip, and he was squished up against me. It was so tight, that Dylan had to push the door closed.
“Put your seat belt on,” I told Zev after he wiped the rain off his glasses. I still hated him, but I didn’t want him dead, and we were about to drive in a storm. “Watch it,” I said, as his hand hit my butt.
“You were the one who told me to put on my seat belt,” he said. “I’m trying to get to the buckle.” I lifted myself up so he could reach. “Don’t forget yours,” he said.
This time I had to reach under him. “See, I’m not complaining.” He gave me a weak smile, like he was trying to be endearing or get on my good side. I did not smile back.
“Everyone all right back there?” Dylan asked.
“Mm-hmm,” I answered.
But “all right” was a relative notion. I’d never truly be all right after what Zev did to me, but I’d survive, even trapped with him in an uncomfortable car. I literally had no wiggle room. I couldn’t move. The box was jammed up against me on one side and Zev on the other. He was so close, I could feel his breath on my neck. But there was nowhere to turn. If I shifted so that the back of my head was toward him, my face would be millimeters from his duffel and my guitar case. That was even worse. I’d just have to deal with his hot air. I raised my hand to my neck, to try and block it, but it didn’t work. The constant reminder of Zev was still there. I let out a deep breath.
This was going to be a very long ride.
TWENTY-NINE
Fifteen minutes in the car already felt like fifteen hours. There was no way to pretend Zev wasn’t there when he was practically on top of me, but I was doing the best I could to zone him out. At least he wasn’t talking much, he just sat there sulking while I exchanged pleasantries with Dylan. I shared the abbreviated (and edited to leave out any mention of Zev) version of my story: high school senior, aspiring singer with a can’t-miss performance tomorrow. In return, I got full name, Dylan Chen, senior at NYU with a journalism concentration, internship at GroupIt and hoping for a full-time job after graduation.
“That’s really cool,” I said, leaning forward, bringing myself closer to the guys up front and farther away from Zev. “Is that why you’re in a rush to get back? Work?”
“No, girlfriend,” he answered. “Her birthday is tomorrow, and no way I’m missing it. I have a whole night planned.”
“That’s great,” I said, giving Zev the side eye. “I love hearing about a guy who goes out of his way for his girlfriend, a guy who she can count on. Doesn’t happen all the time.”
Sure, I was being passive-aggressive, but I didn’t care. Zev hurt me, and it wasn’t like I could blow up on him in front of everyone, so I’d have to make do with a few subtle digs.
“Yeah, well,” Dylan said, “I owe her, and I’d do anything for Gina.”
Fitz laughed. “Except get her a Christmas gift.”
I was missing something. “Huh?”
“Part of the reason I cannot miss tomorrow is that I royally messed up Christmas,” Dylan said. “Although it wasn’t entirely my fault. We were in separate cities for winter break. I was in Boston, she was in Dallas. I called her, sent her a funny e-card, how was I supposed to know to send a gift?”
He caught my eye in the rearview mirror, and I shook my head at him. “Because it was Christmas! And she’s your girlfriend.”
“I know, I know.”
“Wait until you hear what she sent him,” Fitz said.
“An iWatch,” Dylan said.
“Oooh, and you got her nothing?” I asked. “Not even when you got back to school, not even a real card?” I didn’t want to make him feel bad, but he was right, he had screwed up. Not nearly as bad as Zev, but still.…
“I thought it was too late. Christmas was over,” he said.
“I don’t think anything’s ever too late,” Zev said, joining the conversation.
I rolled my eyes, then I tugged at my seat belt to get more slack and leaned farther forward. I’d try to wedge Zev out of this discussion as best I could.
“So what are you doing for Gina’s birthday?” I asked.
“I’m going all out,” he said. “If I scre
w this up, she will kill me. I told her to expect something epic, so I am throwing her a huge surprise party. That box next to you,” he said. “It’s decorations. There are collages of us and her and her friends that I put together, little twinkly lights, and way too many balloons. Hopefully enough to make her forget Christmas. I got a whole room at a bar near school. Her roommates are going to decorate while I take her to her favorite restaurant. By the time we make it to the party everyone should be there. And I ordered her the most over-the-top chocolate cake from Andrea’s Bakery.”
“That place is my favorite,” I said.
“Hers, too.”
“It sounds perfect,” I told him.
“I hope so,” he said.
Fitz slapped Dylan’s shoulder. “He’s been planning it for ages. It’s going to be the party of the year.”
Those words made my skin crawl. The last “party of the year” practically destroyed me. Still, I couldn’t help but smile at the bromance Fitz and Dylan seemed to have going on.
“What about you two?” I asked. “How did you guys become friends?”
“Actually,” Dylan said, “My ex-girlfriend was Fitz’s RA his freshman year.”
“RA?” I asked.
“Resident assistant. An upperclassman who lives and helps out in the halls,” he said.
Right, I knew that. They got free housing, too. I definitely wanted to try for that myself when the time came.
“I was in their hall all the time,” Dylan went on, “practically lived there. Fitz and I started hanging out.”
“We’re still going strong,” Fritz added. “The friendship lasted longer than the relationship.”
“She was a senior, I was a sophomore,” Dylan said. “As it got closer to her graduation, we kind of realized a future would be hard. She was going to be in L.A., I was still going to be in school. So we ended things.”
I nodded, forcing myself not to glance at Zev. “I think it’s a good idea, ending things before graduation. Start the next chapter fresh, don’t have to worry about anything holding you back.”
“I don’t agree,” Zev said.
Do not look at him, I instructed myself. Act like you didn’t even hear him.
“I think if you want it to work, you make it work,” he went on. “You don’t just throw something out, you figure it out.”
Just great. Now he was the one trying to talk in code.
I was not biting. I refused to acknowledge him, but unfortunately Dylan did.
“I agree, man. Gina and I are staying together. No way I’m letting her go.”
I shifted in my seat. I was not going to sit there and have a conversation about couples needing to fight for their love. I had to change the subject. “Tell us what to expect as college freshmen,” I said, picking a topic I figured Dylan and Fitz would be able to drone on about for hours.
I was right. The two went on and on about coed bathrooms, roommates, picking classes by schedule and professor, and so on. As they talked, I stared out the window. The rain was coming down even harder now. Dylan had the windshield wipers on full speed, but they didn’t seem to be doing anything.
We passed by a tow truck and two cars pulled over by the side of the road. Or at least that’s what I think it was, it was hard to see clearly through the downpour.
There was thunder and flashes of lightning. I jumped when a branch hit the front window. We all did.
“Didn’t expect that,” Dylan said, and the conversation about college petered out as he became hyperfocused on the road. He was going even slower than before and his hands were gripping the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles were white. I sat back in my seat and made sure my seat belt was secure.
“I’ve never seen it this bad,” Dylan said, more to himself than to any of us. It wasn’t very reassuring.
After that none of us said a word, letting Dylan concentrate on driving instead.
The car had an eerie feeling to it. None of us were talking, but it wasn’t silent. The rain was smacking down on the car, the tires were swishing through the water on the road, and there seemed to be a slight crackle all around us. The air felt thick, like I was underwater. Only there was no coming up for oxygen. The lack of conversation was giving me too much time to think. I didn’t know where to focus, not with Zev plastered to my side, his body warm against mine. There weren’t many options, so I kept my eyes glued straight ahead, looking out the front window.
It had gotten dark out. I couldn’t see anything. I prayed Dylan had a better vantage point from the front seat.
A flash of lightning streaked through the sky followed by a large boom. Then another. The thunder was getting louder.
Just God bowling, I told myself. That explanation worked when I was little, but it wasn’t having quite the same effect now.
I wasn’t going to say it, but I was getting scared. I couldn’t even make out if there were other cars on the highway.
Another loud, violent crack rumbled through the sky. My whole body quivered, and I wanted to reach out and grab Zev’s knee, but I stopped myself. He was a cheating jerk-face, and I was not going to touch any part of him that I didn’t have to.
I’d just text Trina. That was it. She’d help me keep it together. I moved Ruby aside, to reach my backpack, and then I realized it—my backpack, my phone—they weren’t there. They were in the trunk.
THIS DAY SUCKED!
I readjusted my guitar, sat back, and closed my eyes. I wasn’t going to sleep, not with all the thunder. Instead, I decided to count the seconds between the rumbles from the sky. It wound up not having quite the calming effect I had hoped for, so I gave up. I just sat there, silently, wishing for this trip to end.
Zev eventually broke the quiet.
“Sari,” he said softly. “It’s your mom. She wants you to text her back. She says she’s left you dozens of messages.”
Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap.
I never got back to her; I had totally forgotten.
I hated doing this, but I had no choice. “Can I use your phone for a minute?” I asked him.
Zev handed it over.
She didn’t like my response.
This was getting me nowhere. “Guys, I’m sorry,” I said to the two up front, “I just need to make a quick call. Is that okay?”
“Sure,” they said.
I dialed my mother. She picked up on the first ring, “Sari, is that you?”
“Yes, Mom, it’s me. Everything’s okay. I’ll be home soon. I’m sorry I didn’t call earlier.”
There was a pause, but surprisingly she didn’t yell at me for my lack of communication. “Where are you?” she asked instead.
“Somewhere in Connecticut.”
“Sari,” she said, the concern coming through her voice, “that’s where the brunt of the storm is right now. You really shouldn’t be on the road.”
“I told you everything is fine. Let’s talk when I get home.”
“I need to know that you are okay. I want updates,” she said.
I really needed her to back off, just this once. “I am okay, and I told you my phone is in the trunk.”
“Then I’ll text Zev.”
I couldn’t deal. Did she have to be like this today? “Please don’t.”
“Sari, if I can’t get through to you, I don’t have a choice.”
She wasn’t hearing me. I felt the heat rising through my body. How could she not tell how desperate I was for her to just to drop this? “Please. No. I’m begging you.”
“You are my daughter,” she said, “and you are out in the middle of a storm.”
“Mom, I know.” I struggled not to yell. “But you are not listening to me. I’m fine.” My free hand was digging into the leather seat so hard, I had to force myself to stop before I made five fingernail-size holes and owed Dylan new upholstery.
“I just want to make sure of that,” she said, disregarding everything I just told her. “I’m not going to sit here and worry myself into a panic jus
t because you and Zev had a little tiff.”
“It was not just a tiff, Mom,” I seethed. “I can’t talk about it now. I’m in the car. With people.”
“Well,” she said. “If you hadn’t been avoiding me all day then you wouldn’t have to talk now, now would you?”
Was she seriously doing this to me? I was so at a loss that I didn’t even respond.
“Zev answers me,” she went on, like nothing I said meant anything. “He’s been lovely all day, and unless you can give me a good reason not to, I’m going to keep texting him for updates. I don’t understand what the big deal is.”
The big deal? The big deal?! “WELL, MAYBE, I DON’T LIKE MY MOTHER BEING ALL CHATTY WITH MY CHEATING EX-BOYFRIEND.”
Everything got silent. My mom. Me. I couldn’t even hear the rain anymore, but that was probably because my heart was beating so loudly.
Oh no. What a fool.
Did I really just scream that in front of everyone? Here I was purposefully not talking about the breakup, and then I go and yell it at the top of my lungs in a car full of people. What was wrong with me?
“Your what?” my mom asked gently.
“My cheating ex,” I said, my voice quieter, but shaking. At this point it didn’t matter if Fitz and Dylan heard everything, they already got the humiliating headline. “I caught your perfect Zev kissing someone else. Still need to talk to him?”
“Oh, sweetie, I’m so sorry,” she said. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
I choked back tears. I was not going to cry. “I didn’t want to think about it. Mom, I’m in the car. I’ll talk to you later, okay?” My breathing was shallow, and my heart was racing. I just needed to get off the phone. And maybe a vanishing spell or an invisibility cloak.
“But what happened?” she pressed. “Are you okay? How are—”
“MOM! I’m in the car.” I was not going to have this conversation with her in front of Zev.
“I’m just worried about you.”
“I know. But how many times do I have to say I can’t do this now?”
“Okay, okay. And Sari?”
“What?” I was a hair away from losing it again.
Airports, Exes, and Other Things I'm Over Page 12