Rochelle took seriously the Netflix principle that to say nothing in circumstances like this would be tantamount to disloyalty. She spent that evening writing the following email to Reed and rereading it “a hundred times, because even if this is Netflix, it still felt a little risky.” The email she finally sent said the following:
Hi Reed,
As part of the audience in the room yesterday, your comments to Patty came across to me as dismissive and disrespectful. I bring this up because at last year’s retreat, you talked about the importance of creating an environment where people are encouraged to speak up and contribute to the conversation (whether in dissent or to augment).
In the room yesterday, we had a mix of folks—directors and VPs—and some who don’t know you well. The tone you used with Patty would prevent me, if I didn’t know you as well, from voicing my opinion publicly in front of you in the future, for fear you might shut my ideas down. I hope you don’t mind me letting you know.
Rochelle
After hearing this story, I thought about my past jobs, from waitress at the Sri Lanka Curry House to training manager at a big multinational to director at a small Boston-based company and professor at a business school. I tried to remember whether, in any of these roles, I had ever heard someone politely yet candidly tell the head of the organization that his tone of voice in a meeting had been out of line. And my answer was one big, loud NO!
When I emailed Reed asking him if he remembered the incident with Rochelle five years earlier, he responded within minutes.
Erin—I recall the room (King Kong) and where I was sitting and where Patty was. I recall feeling shitty afterwards about how I handled my frustration.
—Reed
Minutes later he forwarded his own copy of the email Rochelle had sent him as well as the response he sent her.
Rochelle—I appreciated a lot receiving that feedback and please continue to call me out if you see something that feels inappropriate to you.
Reed
Rochelle’s feedback was frank but thoughtful and genuinely intended to help Reed improve.
But the big risk in fostering a climate of candor is all the ways people may both purposely and accidentally misuse it. That brings us to Reed’s next step for developing a culture of candor in the workplace.
TEACH ALL EMPLOYEES TO GIVE AND RECEIVE FEEDBACK WELL
In Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga’s Oscar-winning film A Star Is Born, there is a scene in which candor done wrong is displayed in all its ugliness.
Lady Gaga is lying in a bath full of bubbles. She has recently been recognized as a musical star in her own right, receiving three Grammy nominations. Her mentor (and recently turned husband) comes into the bathroom having had too much to drink. And he tells her candidly how he feels about her new original song, which she just performed on Saturday Night Live.
You got nominated and that’s great . . . I’m just trying to figure it out. (Your song) “Why You Come Around Me with an Ass Like That.” (eyes rolling . . . long sigh) Maybe I failed you. You’re embarrassing. I got to be honest with you.”
Despite all the talk about feedback at Netflix, this type of candor would not fly. A climate of candor doesn’t mean anything goes. The first few times Netflix employees gave me feedback I felt so startled I thought the rules of feedback were something like, “say what’s on your mind, to hell with the cost.” But Netflix managers invest significant time teaching their employees the right and wrong way to give feedback. They have documents explaining what effective feedback looks like. They have sections of training programs where people learn how and practice giving and receiving it.
You can do this too. After ploughing through all the Netflix materials on candor and hearing dozens of interviewees explain how it works, I’ve found the lessons can be summarized in the following 4A format.
4A FEEDBACK GUIDELINES
Giving Feedback
AIM TO ASSIST: Feedback must be given with positive intent. Giving feedback in order to get frustration off your chest, intentionally hurting the other person, or furthering your political agenda is not tolerated. Clearly explain how a specific behavior change will help the individual or the company, not how it will help you. “The way you pick your teeth in meetings with external partners is irritating” is wrong feedback. Right feedback would be, “If you stop picking your teeth in external partner meetings, the partners are more likely to see you as professional, and we’re more likely to build a strong relationship.”
ACTIONABLE: Your feedback must focus on what the recipient can do differently. Wrong feedback to me in Cuba would have been to stop at the comment, “Your presentation is undermining its own messages.” Right feedback was, “The way you ask the audience for input is resulting in only Americans participating.” Even better would have been: “If you can find a way to solicit contributions from other nationalities in the room your presentation will be more powerful.”
Receiving Feedback
APPRECIATE: Natural human inclination is to provide a defense or excuse when receiving criticism; we all reflexively seek to protect our egos and reputation. When you receive feedback, you need to fight this natural reaction and instead ask yourself, “How can I show appreciation for this feedback by listening carefully, considering the message with an open mind, and becoming neither defensive nor angry?”
ACCEPT OR DISCARD: You will receive lots of feedback from lots of people while at Netflix. You are required to listen and consider all feedback provided. You are not required to follow it. Say “thank you” with sincerity. But both you and the provider must understand that the decision to react to the feedback is entirely up to the recipient.
In the example toward the beginning of this chapter, where Doug gave feedback to Jordan about how to adjust his behavior while working in India, we can see the 4As modeled beautifully. Doug saw how Jordan’s transactional approach was sabotaging his own goals. His objective was to help Jordan to improve and to help the organization succeed (Aim to Assist). The feedback he provided was so practical that Jordan claims he now takes a different approach each time he works with India (Actionable). Jordan expressed thanks (Appreciation). He could have chosen to discard the feedback but this time he accepted it saying: “Now I don’t lecture others before going. Instead I start the trip by telling my colleagues ‘Hey, this is my weakness! If I start glancing at my watch while Nitin is giving us a tour of the city, give me a big kick in the shin!’” (Accept or Discard)
Most people, like Doug, find it especially difficult to give feedback in real time. Many have been deeply conditioned to wait for the right moment and the right conditions before telling the truth, so that the usefulness of the feedback often all but fades away. This brings us to the third priority for instilling a culture of candor on your team.
PREACH FEEDBACK ANYWHERE, ANYTIME
The only remaining question is when and where to give feedback—and the answer is anywhere and anytime. That might mean giving feedback in private, behind closed doors. Erin got her first Netflix feedback in front of a group of three or four people in the middle of a keynote. That is fine too. It can even be shouted out in front of a group of forty, if that’s where it will help the most.
Rose, a VP on the Global Communications Team, provided an example:
My forty colleagues had come together from around the world for a two-day meeting and I had sixty minutes on the agenda to present the marketing plan for the rollout of 13 Reasons Why season 2.
When we released season 1, the suicide on the show set off a firestorm of public controversy. For season 2, I wanted to take a different approach common in brand publicity, where my experience lies, but not common in traditional publicity, which had been the norm at Netflix.
My plan included partnering with Northwestern University to conduct an independent study looking at the impact o
f the series on teenage viewers. Netflix would not influence the study but hopefully the data would help better position the season 2 launch.
This sixty-minute presentation was Rose’s one chance to get her marketing colleagues on board. Yet fifteen minutes in, the audience was pushing back: “Why would you invest that money when you don’t even know what the results will be? Can a study be independent if we fund it?” Rose felt she was being attacked:
Each raised hand felt like another challenge. Everyone seemed to be shouting, “Do you know what you’re doing?!” I heard myself talking faster with each challenge and the frustration in the room cycling up. The more the group questioned me, and the more worried I became that I wouldn’t finish my content, the faster I talked.
Then Rose’s close colleague Bianca waved her arm from the back of the room, offering a life vest . . . Netflix style: “Rose! This isn’t working! You are losing the room! You sound defensive! You’re talking too fast. You’re not listening to the questions. You’re repeating yourself without addressing the concerns. Take a deep breath. You NEED THE ROOM,” she called out:
At that moment I saw myself as the audience was seeing me—breathless and talking more than listening. I took a deep breath. “Thank you, Bianca. You’re right. I’m watching the time. I need everyone to understand the project. I’m here to listen and answer your questions. Let’s go back. Who did I miss?” I consciously changed my energy, and this triggered a change in the room. Voice tones lowered. People started smiling. The aggressiveness in the meeting dissipated. I got the group on board. Bianca’s candor saved me.
In most organizations, shouting criticism out in front of a group, while that person is in the middle of a presentation, would be considered inappropriate and unhelpful. But if you manage to inculcate an effective culture of candor, all involved would recognize that this feedback from Bianca was a gift. Bianca’s intent was only to help Rose succeed (Aim to Assist). She outlined specific actions Rose could take to improve her performance (Actionable). Rose received the feedback with thanks (Appreciation). In this case, she followed the advice Bianca had provided, to the benefit of all (Accept or Discard). If you follow the 4A model, feedback can and should be given exactly when and where it will help the most.
In this case, Bianca meant well, but what if she hadn’t? Someone with a bone to pick could pretend to follow the 4A guidelines but actually sabotage Rose’s message or harm her reputation. If candor still feels risky to you, that’s understandable. That brings us to the final point of advice for fostering a climate of candor.
CLARIFY AND REINFORCE THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BEING SELFLESSLY CANDID AND A BRILLIANT JERK
We’ve all worked with people who are obviously brilliant. You know the type: bursting with amazing insights, articulate, able to solve problems with a single blow. The denser the talent in your organization, the more brilliant people you’re likely to have on the team.
But with a lot of brilliant people running around, you run a risk. Sometimes really talented people have heard for so long how great they are, they begin to feel they really are better than everybody else. They might smirk at ideas they find unintelligent, roll their eyes when people are inarticulate, and insult those they feel are less gifted than they are. In other words, these people are jerks.
If you are promoting a culture of candor on your team, you have to get rid of the jerks. Many may think, “This guy is so brilliant, we can’t afford to lose him.” But it doesn’t matter how brilliant your jerk is, if you keep him on the team you can’t benefit from candor. The cost of jerkiness to effective teamwork is too high. Jerks are likely to rip your organization apart from the inside. And their favorite way to do that is often by stabbing their colleagues in the front and then offering, “I was just being candid.”
Even at Netflix, where we preach “No Brilliant Jerks,” we often have an employee who has difficulty finessing the boundaries. When this happens, you need to jump in. Original Content Specialist Paula was one example. Paula was exceptionally creative and had an extensive network, which was an enormous asset. She put in long hours reading scripts and visualizing how to turn a potential TV series into a big hit. Paula tried to live the Netflix culture by being forthcoming and candid in all instances.
Often in meetings Paula spoke forcefully, repeating herself, sometimes pounding on the table to make her point. She frequently spoke over people if they weren’t getting her gist. Paula was clearly very efficient too, working on her computer while others were speaking, especially if she didn’t agree with their points. If people were long-winded or slow to get to the point, she would interrupt them and let them know, then and there. Paula did not feel she was being a jerk, just that she was living the Netflix culture with her honest feedback. Yet because of her difficult behavior, Paula no longer works at Netflix.
A culture of candor does not mean that you can speak your mind without concern for how it will impact others. On the contrary, it requires that everyone think carefully about the 4A guidelines. This requires reflection and sometimes preparation before you give feedback, as well as monitoring and coaching from those in charge. Justin Becker, an engineering manager for the Playback API team at Netflix, gave this example in a 2017 presentation titled: “Am I a Brilliant Jerk?”
Early in my time at Netflix, an engineer in my group made a big mistake in my area of expertise and sent an email that dodged responsibility and showed no path to fix it. I was upset and called the engineer: my intent was to put him on the right path. I was blunt and criticized his actions. I didn’t enjoy doing so, but I felt I was doing a good thing for the company.
A week later, his manager stopped by my desk unexpectedly. He told me that he was aware of my exchange with the engineer and didn’t think I was technically wrong, but did I know that the engineer had been demotivated and unproductive since I talked to him and was it my intent to make his staff unproductive? No, of course not. The manager continued: Do you think you could have told my engineer what you needed to, in a way that left him feeling positive and motivated to fix it? Sure, I probably could do that. Good. Always do that in the future, please. I did.
The conversation lasted less than two minutes and was immediately effective. Notice that he did not accuse me of being a jerk. Rather, he asked: (1) “Are you intending to hurt the company?” and (2) “Are you able to act decently?” There’s really only one right answer to those questions. If he had just said, “You are a jerk,” I may have replied, “No, I’m not,” but by asking questions instead, it put the onus on me to think about the answer and triggered a moment of self-reflection.
Justin had partly followed the 4A-feedback guidelines. He had intended to help the engineer get on the right path. He had emphasized that he had the company’s interest in mind. Perhaps his message was even actionable. But he still came across as a jerk because he also broke part of the first candor rule, by giving feedback to get frustration off his chest. Following other general critical-feedback guidelines—such as “Never give criticism when you’re still angry” and “Use a calm voice when giving corrective feedback”—could have helped too.
Of course, many of us have had moments of being a jerk. In Justin’s case, he had confused jerkiness with candor. Justin was able to adapt his behavior. He’s still at Netflix today.
* * *
• • •
In chapter 8, we will come back to this topic and explore a couple of other methods you can use to encourage candor on the team. In the meantime this is . . .
THE SECOND DOT
If you have a group of people who are highly talented, thoughtful, and well-meaning, you can ask them to do something that is not at all natural but nonetheless incredibly helpful to a company’s speed and effectiveness. You can ask them to give each other loads of candid feedback and challenge authority.
▶ TAKEAWAYS FROM CHAPTER 2
With candor, high performers be
come outstanding performers. Frequent candid feedback exponentially magnifies the speed and effectiveness of your team or workforce.
Set the stage for candor by building feedback moments into your regular meetings.
Coach your employees to give and receive feedback effectively, following the 4A guidelines.
As the leader, solicit feedback frequently and respond with belonging cues when you receive it.
Get rid of jerks as you instill a culture of candor.
With talent density and candor in place, you are ready to begin releasing controls and offering more workplace freedom.
Toward a Culture of Freedom and Responsibility
Most organizations have a wide variety of control processes to make sure employees are behaving in ways that benefit the company. Control mechanisms include policies, approval procedures, and management oversight.
First focus on developing a high-talent-density workplace. Second develop a culture of candor, assuring that everyone gives and receives a lot of feedback.
With a climate of candor, the boss is no longer the primary individual to correct an employee’s undesirable behavior. When the entire community speaks openly about which individual behaviors advance the company, and which don’t, the boss doesn’t have to get so involved in overseeing an employee’s work.
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