by Hazel Gower
When he woke the next morning he felt the best he’d ever felt. Wanting to have breakfast ready for her so they could relax and talk, he’d snuck out, thinking he would have plenty of time to do what he needed to do before she awoke. When he came back an hour later she was gone. He’d never felt so bad in his life. He’d debated for hours if he should call her, and days later he’d wondered if he should go see her. Over the years he’d never forgotten that night and he’d never forgotten her.
Could he be angry with her when he was the one who took advantage of her drunken state? No, he couldn’t. He sighed as guilt assaulted him. Chad was older and way more experienced, he should have used a condom, he should have said no. Lana sounded truly sorry, and she had drunk a lot of alcohol that night. He knew Lana, or he had, and she would never keep her child from her father.
He groaned. This was such a mess. He needed to know for sure. Chad knew the answer, but he had to ask anyway. “What night was Olivia conceived?”
“The night of your housewarming party.”
He nodded and kissed his daughter’s chubby cheek. “I’m her father, Lana. It was me you were with.”
“I…I don’t remember, but I believe you. She is your clone. I thought I saw you in her a time or two, but then I convinced myself it was wishful thinking. I was sure I’d remember if we were together. I truly am sorry.”
Everyone was quiet for a while until his beautiful daughter, who was playing with her lion his parents had gotten her, said, “I’m hungrys.” She turned to her mother. “Whated can I eats?”
“I’m hungry too, little miss,” Lockie said. “I say we eat what’s on the table and leave everyone else with what’s left over once we’re done.”
Olivia giggled. “Yous silly, Locks.”
Chad chuckled as Olivia said his brother’s name.
“You can eat now where you are. Next time Grandma will get you a special seat to sit on.” His mother’s voice was shaky as she spoke.
Olivia bounced on his lap. “I can calls you Grandma?” She turned to Lana. “Mummy, can I?”
He glanced at Lana to see tears falling down her cheeks. “Yes, sweetheart, you can, because she is your real grandma.”
Olivia jumped from his lap to Lana’s. “Mummy, yous said you didn’t knows.”
Lana kissed Olivia’s forehead and looked up, her gaze catching his. “I do now. I know who your daddy is too.”
Olivia squealed and hugged her mum. “I have a Daddy?”
“Yes. The man that has been cuddling you and is sitting next to us is your dad.”
His daughter stopped her bouncing and turned to look at him. He smiled at her and she hid her face in her mother’s shoulder before peeking out and studying him. “Hi.”
He cleared his suddenly dry throat. “Hello, Olivia.”
Olivia sat up straighter. “I haveded pictures. Mummy has lots of you. Butted I didn’t knows yous were my daddy.” Olivia glanced at his brothers. “Not uses. Mummy has only twos pictures of yous.” Olivia put her fingers up and then turned back to him. “Canna I call you Daddy?”
He was too choked up to say anything, so he just nodded. His sister hiccupped and his mother sniffled.
Olivia left her mother’s lap and came back over and sat on his. “I’m ready to eats nowed. Cans we eat?”
“Sure.”
Talking started around the table about what they’d done that week, but Lana sat quietly, nibbling on her food. He hugged his daughter every now and then, and once he’d cut up his food he reached over and held Lana’s hand that played with the hem of her shirt, giving it a squeeze. He couldn’t be angry at her, he loved her. It was as much his fault as hers, if not more his. Lana had birthed this magnificent being in his arms. She had given him a beautiful daughter. Lana had given him an amazing treasure. Olivia was the most perfect little being ever created.
Lana glanced over at him and gave him a forced smile before turning back to play with her food. For the first time in years he wished for a family dinner to end so he could get him, Lana, and Olivia out of there. He wanted to spend time with them.
* * * *
Lana kept her gaze darting around the table. No one seemed bothered about her and Chad, or what happened years ago. Catharine, Chad’s mother, laughed when Owen told them about an old man who was convinced he was abducted by aliens and was having their babies. Steph wasn’t acting different either, she laughed at her brothers’ stories and didn’t seem to be angry at her.
Lana didn’t know how she felt about everything. The Douglases acted like her and Chad were a done deal. That Olivia and her were now part of the family and life could go on. Lana had just been told some life changing news, and everyone around her was acting as if everything was sorted out and a huge bomb hadn’t just been dropped. Lana didn’t know what was happening. She’d gone from being single and thinking about a relationship to being thrown into the deep end with Chad, a guy she’d thought was off-limits, a man she now found out was the father of her daughter.
She was angry she was the last to know about how Chad had felt. Angry at Steph for knowing and not saying anything, angry that her whole life had changed within seconds and now no one seemed bothered, and most of all she was angry at herself for not seeing what was right in front of her. Lana felt like a fool.
Lana needed to go home and think everything over. Everything had happened so quickly, she hadn’t even had time to sort through her own feelings on what had happened, what she’d just learned. Lana wondered how her family would feel about her and Chad together, about Chad being Olivia’s father. Her brain was filled with a mass of questions and confusion.
She left Chad’s parents’ house early, using Olivia having to get up early for daycare as an excuse to go. She drove straight home and gave Olivia a bath and read her a story.
Lana still couldn’t believe the weekend she’d had. She was a responsible mother, or at least she had been, but now that everything had slowed down and she thought about the weekend she realized how stupid she’d been when every time she was with Chad she’d forgotten about using a condom. What responsible person did that? An infatuated one, who had no self-preservation when it came to Chad Douglas. She couldn’t get her head around the fact that when she was with Chad she turned into a sex-crazed nympho.
She showered, feeling dirty at the thought of her behavior, and put on an old shirt. She was lying in bed, reading and trying to relax, when she heard banging on her front door. Getting up, she hurried to the door, ready to blast whoever was on the other side as they could wake Olivia up. When she opened the door she was surprised to see David, the cop she’d been on a couple of dates with since coming back to Australia.
“Hi.” She felt guilty that she hadn’t called or told him he had no chance with her anymore. Chad had ruined her, that much she did know.
“I’ve been calling you all weekend, but you didn’t answer your phone. I came by earlier and you weren’t here. I was worried.” He pushed past her into her house.
Lana felt really bad now. “I’m sorry. I had a babysitter and I went out with Steph, and I’ve been to her family’s for dinner. They’ve been eager to meet Olivia, and Chad’s season starts next weekend.” She hadn’t lied. Everything she’d just said was true.
Pulling down her shirt, uncomfortable in what she was wearing, or in her case wasn’t, she grimaced as she realized what she had to do. But she was too tired to have a conversation with him now about not seeing him anymore. She’d call him tomorrow.
“David, I’m sorry I didn’t call you, but I have work in the morning, and Olivia is just down the hall and...” She backed him to the door and opened it, groaning when she saw Chad walking toward her and Steph behind him, her eyes wide as she took in the situation.
“What the fuck is going on?” Chad growled as he pushed past David. Steph followed Chad inside.
“Nothing. David was just worried because he called and I didn’t answer and haven’t been home. Why are you both here?”
Lana stared at Steph, still hurt that she had kept what she knew from her. “I felt like an idiot. How could you keep something like that from me? I’m your best friend. You took fucking bets, for Christ’s sake. Maybe if you had told me I would have known about Olivia.”
Steph stared at her, and Chad came forward and reached for her but she avoided his touch. “Lana, don’t—”
“No. Don’t, Chad. I’m tired. I just want to go to bed. I want you all out.” She looked around and saw David still standing by the door, taking everything in. Lana walked over to him and held the door open. “Out, all of you. I’m tired and need sleep. I’ll phone you tomorrow.”
Steph left and a reluctant Chad followed his sister, promising he would be back to talk. As much as Lana wanted Chad to stay she knew after the weekend they’d had she needed a night to herself. A night to think.
David waited until Chad and Steph had walked away. “I see how he looks at you. I’ve seen Olivia, and I can see who her daddy is. Does what just happened have anything to do with that?”
Closing her eyes on a sigh, she nodded. “Yeah, I must be blind if even you, who only met him once, can tell.”
“Nah, I just know what to look for.”
Lana opened her eyes and smiled at David, grateful for his lie. “Thanks.”
“How do you feel?”
She took a deep breath and slowly let it out, thinking about her answer. “To tell the truth… I really don’t know.” She stared into his dark blue eyes. “I’m sorry. I wish I did.”
He ran his fingers through his hair. “Give me a call if you know what you want.” He walked away, and Lana shut the door and locked it.
She went down the hall and checked on Olivia, kissing her cheek and making sure she was tucked in. Lana walked back to her bedroom and lay down, hoping sleep would claim her.
Chapter 4
He’d been an arse all morning, brutal with everyone at training, especially Tim the wanker. Chad was pissed at the way he’d treated Lana on Friday. He now sat in Matt’s car with Bob, going to lunch.
“What the fuck is stuck up your arse? Shouldn’t you be all happy and shit after the weekend you had with Lana?” Matt didn’t even glance his way as he spoke. He kept his eyes on the road.
“No, because she went home. Last night I went around after she left my parents’ and a guy was there and all she had on was a shirt.”
“Really?” Bob sounded as surprised as Chad had been when he’d seen the guy there.
“I know nothing happened with the guy. I’m pissed off that she didn’t talk when she left my parents’ house and when I came around she told me to leave.” He scrubbed his face. “I don’t know what to do now. Do I wait for her to come to me? Or do I go to her? If I do go to her, how long do I wait?”
“I’d love to give you the right advice, but damn, Chad, neither Bob nor I have girlfriends, let alone a woman we feel about the way you feel for Lana. What do you want to do?”
“I want Lana. I want the mother of my daughter.”
“What the fuck?” Bob almost choked out.
Chad grinned at his friends. “Lana’s kid is mine. You know the house party I had years ago when Lana and my sister came before she left for England? Well, that was the first night I ever slept with her, and Olivia is a result from that night.”
“Man, she kept your kid from you?” Matt sounded angry.
Chad ran his fingers over his head. “No. Lana doesn’t remember that night. She didn’t know we slept together, and she didn’t know she was pregnant until she was in England.”
“Oh. Do you still want her?”
He didn’t even have to think of his answer. “I’ve waited years. I’m done with waiting. I went from sleeping alone to having her curled up against me for two nights. Last night was hell. I tossed and turned and couldn’t get comfortable. Fuck, I’m not usually the cuddly type, but I don’t want to sleep tonight without her in my arms. I don’t want to go another night without knowing when I wake up my daughter will be in the next room and her mother will be next to me.” Chad groaned as he realized how he sounded. “God, even I can hear how sappy I sound.”
Matt parked the car. “I’m glad you’re thinking like that, because I asked Steph where Lana worked and…” He pointed to the shopping center in front of them. “Come on. Surely she has a lunch break. I think you need to talk.”
Getting out of the car, Chad wished he’d worn something nicer than his tracksuit pants and white wife beater. He knew where Lana worked, she’d told him about her job over the weekend. It was just after midday, and he knew Lana had been there to open the store today.
He paused at the window of Pick a Bunch and looked in to see Lana with a megawatt smile on her face as she spoke to a customer. She wore black pants with huge black wedges to help her height, and a red shirt which was covered with a black apron with the store name and logo on it. Her hair was in a plait off her face, which lit up as she showed the customer some flowers.
“Do you need us to come in with you and hold your hand?” Bob patted him on the back, and Chad stuck his middle finger up at him.
Clenching and unclenching his fists, he took a deep breath and walked into the store, going to the counter to wait for Lana.
* * * *
Lana had a doctor’s appointment at two-thirty. She was skipping her lunch and taking it later so she could make her appointment. She knew if she was going to be with Chad she needed to be on the pill, because anytime she was with him she forgot all sense and never used protection.
Last night she’d had time to think, and she knew she couldn’t pass up the chance of being with Chad. Not only did she want Olivia to know her father, but Lana wanted a chance with the man she’d thought herself in love with for years.
It helped that they had everything she read about in her books, chemistry and an easy going togetherness. They could talk or just happily sit in silence. Lana had fun with Chad. It wasn’t all roses though. There were things she wasn’t sure about, like his reputation, his fame, and his all-around take over ways and attitude. She was scared of how he would be with Olivia. She didn’t want him to make promises he couldn’t keep or do things Olivia may come to expect and Lana couldn’t provide without him.
After her doctor’s appointment she was going to call Chad and see if he wanted to come around to dinner and talk. They had so much to talk about.
Mondays were one of the busiest days in the shop besides Friday and Saturday. It seemed Monday was the day men sent apology flowers. She’d spent her morning doing up bunches of roses and writing out apology notes. She had a bunch more to do before she left, but right now she was talking to a bride about her wedding they had booked. Today was the first consult, getting a feel for what she wanted. Lana’s boss, Ann, was letting Lana organize this wedding all by herself, and Lana was excited to do her first wedding.
“Oh God, the reason I watch Rugby League just walked in. I wonder who he’s buying flowers for. I didn’t think he had a girlfriend.”
Lana stiffened at her client’s words. She knew what Rugby League man the woman was talking about, she could feel his eyes boring into her. Lana didn’t turn but smiled at her client. “Even Rugby League players need flowers.”
“Go over and serve him. Find out who he’s getting flowers for.”
Lana waved her hand. “I’m sure Ann will sort him out.”
The woman grabbed Lana’s hand. “I’m sure she could, but come on, it’s Chad Douglas. He’s gorgeous. Who wouldn’t want to have a chance to stare into those green eyes? I love my fiancé, but damn, to have Chad Douglas, one of the sexiest men in sports...”
She sighed, and Lana groaned as jealousy coursed through her. Did she say something and maybe embarrass her client or did she keep quiet? On a moan she turned around and saw Chad. He was so hot in a white singlet, showing off his muscular arms, and bla
ck tracksuit pants with his joggers. He looked larger than life. A huge, dimpled grin spread across his face and the woman beside her sighed again.
Ann came over with a secret smile on her face. “Go talk to him before I have my store overrun with sighing females.”
Lana groaned as she gazed around, noticing that what Ann said wasn’t far from the truth. Damn the sexy man. “Excuse me for a moment. I’ll be right back.”
“I wouldn’t be if I could be with him,” her client said.
Lana felt her face heat, and she knew she must be as red as a tomato.
Walking over to Chad, she made sure she stopped just out of his reach. “I was going to call you later,” she whispered.
She didn’t step back in time when he stood forward and gathered her to him, brushing his lips over hers. “Were you now?”
Wiggling in his embrace, she gave up when his hold only tightened and his lips stayed inches from her mouth. “I was. I have a doctor’s appointment at two-thirty. I figure someone has to be responsible, because anytime I’m near you protection goes out the window.”
“I told you I was clean.”
Rolling her eyes heavenward, she shook her head. “You know I’m not just talking about that.”
“I think you’d look hot round with my child. In fact, I like the sound of that. I would like to watch this time.”
Taken aback by his words, she stared speechless at him for a moment. “You have a way of stunning me with what you say. I…well...we… Look, this isn’t the place or the time to discuss this.” She looked around and saw quite a few eyes on them.
“Come have lunch with me.”
“I can’t. I have a client here, and I’m taking a late lunch so I can go to my doctor’s appointment.”
“Okay, I’ll go with you to that.”
“Ahhh, no you won’t. Come by my house about six, that’ll give me time to pick up Olivia from daycare and get home and start the nightly routine.”