Zachary put his arm around her and drew her close. “You’re absolutely right to be mad. I confound myself. It isn’t deliberate, I assure you. I’m neither a sadist nor a masochist.” He tilted her chin up, forcing her eyes to meet his. “I’m a man so deeply in love that he’s lost his rationality.”
She leaned her forehead against his chest. “Oh, Zach, we’ve both got the same problem. What are we going to do?”
He stepped back and his arms dropped to his side. “I don’t know, honey. I’m beginning to feel like a loose cannon on a rolling ship deck. But one thing is clear: you’ve got to be free to concentrate on your job. I’ll stay away and leave you alone until you get to Boston.”
Her chin dropped to her chest. “That’s the most sensible thing either of us has suggested, and it makes me feel sick. I don’t want you to stay away all that time.” Out of the corner of her eye she saw Matt and Hans, the conductor, hovering near the door. Everyone else was gone. She had to go, but she couldn’t bear to leave Zach, especially with the specter of three weeks of separation ahead.
Zach turned his head to follow her gaze. “They’re waiting for you, aren’t they?”
“Yes.”
“You’d better go. We’ll have to take it one step at a time.”
“If only . . .”
“This isn’t the time for if onlys. We’ll have to wait till a later date for that sort of thing.”
Ashley could tell, by the look on his face, that he was as afraid as she that time for “that sort of thing” might never come. Zachary had gotten his first full dose of a play in rehearsal. She wondered if there was any other kind of work that got so frantic. She wanted to throw herself in his arms, to cry, “Zachary, Zachary, don’t leave. Or take me with you. I’ll do anything, go anywhere, just let us be together!” But she did what she had to do. She kissed him on the cheek and went to meet Matt and Hans.
And Zachary did what he had to do. With heavy heart, he left the theater and took a cab to the airport.
Ashley’s days and evenings raced by at a mad rate. She and Matt never stopped revising, rewriting, rearranging, and there were endless consultations on scenery and costumes and publicity. Zachary called every few days or, rather, nights. Often the phone was ringing as she let herself into the apartment. The phone calls became her lifeline to sanity. She’d forgotten how tired a person could get and still manage to function. Of course, with all the weariness and worry and problems ran the high voltage of excitement as the move to Boston got closer and closer. Even Matt was beginning to think they had a winner.
One night, after a particularly grueling session, Ashley staggered in the door, locked it behind her and kicked off her shoes. She could barely wait to put on her nightie and fall into bed. She was about halfway to the bedroom when the phone rang. At once, her spirits lifted. It had to be Zach. No one else called her at this hour. She ran to the desk and picked up the receiver. “Is this who I hope it is?”
“That depends. If you were hoping for Robert Redford, I’m afraid not.”
“Why should I want Robert Redford when I can have you?”
“You can, you know.”
She frowned in confusion. “Can what?”
“Have me.”
“Gift wrapped?”
“Sure. What color ribbon do you want? And where?”
It was amazing, how one small innuendo from him could bring every molecule of her body to rapt attention. “Oh, don’t tease. You’re too far away for me to get to.”
“Not for long. What is it now, just a week and a half?”
“Ten days. I’ll be there in just ten days.”
“I can hardly wait. Will I be able to pick you up at the airport, or do you have some other arrangement?”
She sank onto the couch. “If you weren’t at the airport, I’d probably expire, right there. The only thing is, don’t be too upset if I don’t see you. Just come over and lift one of my eyelids.”
“Pretty tired, eh?”
“That’s putting it mildly. And now the real craziness begins. Rehearsals will be constantly interrupted for costume fittings. You have no idea how disruptive it is to have gaping holes in the ensemble.”
“I remember that ensemble. Pretty nice. It’s amazing how they all happen to be about the same height and every one good-looking.”
“See how boring it would get to go from one to the other? You wouldn’t be able to tell the difference before long. But I must admit that appearance plays a significant part in who gets chosen.”
“Oh? You mean to tell me they don’t get in on talent alone?”
“Unfortunately, audiences do see them as an ensemble, and just one ‘interesting face’ over a poor figure and spindly legs kills the whole image.”
“Unfair. Life is definitely unfair to those who are not endowed with good looks.”
“You have nothing to worry about.”
“Nor you.” She could hear him heave a sigh. “God, I miss you. I suppose your schedule will be even more hectic when you get here.”
“I’m afraid so. Although, at this moment, I don’t see how. There just aren’t any more hours in the day unless I eliminate eating and sleeping.”
“You poor thing, you must be exhausted.” His voice was warm and sympathetic. She wanted to curl up in his arms and have him smooth her hair and say “poor thing” over and over. On second thought, if she were curled up in his arms . . . “Ashley? Have you fallen asleep?”
She laughed. “No. I was just fantasizing a little.”
“About what?”
“If I put it into words, I’ll get myself too worked up to sleep.”
“Oh, that kind of fantasy. If you put it into words, neither of us would get any sleep. Speaking of slumber, you’d better get some. I don’t want you getting sick. I intend to claim some of your time here in Boston, even if I have to come for breakfast.”
“Maybe instead of breakfast?”
“Ashley . . .”
“Okay, okay, I’ll be good. I probably wouldn’t have enough energy to be bad, in any case.” She wrapped both hands around the receiver, hanging on to the connection as though it were part of him. “I love you.”
“Oh, honey. I love you, too.”
They had, by unspoken agreement, begun to leave it at that. Simply ‘I love you,’ without any ‘what next?’
Before the plane had come to a complete halt at Boston’s Logan International Airport, Ashley undid her seat belt and stepped quickly into the aisle. Matt, who was seated beside her, looked up in surprise. “Hey, Ash, what’s the rush? Did I miss something? Did someone just threaten to blow up the plane?” Before she could answer, he continued, “Oh, that’s right. I’d forgotten who was meeting you. Don’t run him down coming off the ramp!”
“Okay, wise guy, back off. I’m just tired of sitting in the airplane, that’s all.”
“Oh, yeah, sure, that’s understandable. We’ve been cooped up in here for a whole hour.” His mouth curled up at one corner, giving him the expression of a mischievous pixie. “Here, don’t forget your purse.” As she turned to head up the aisle, he called, “Will I see you at the hotel?”
“Don’t hold your breath.”
She could hear his teasing laughter all the way to the door. She scurried down the enclosed ramp and was the first passenger to step into the terminal. Damn. Where was he? She walked a little faster, her eyes scanning back and forth, searching for the one face she needed to see. Then he was there, standing just outside the roped-off area. His face broke into a huge grin the moment he spotted her. Ashley had to contain herself to keep from breaking into a dead run. She hitched the strap on her purse to a firmer position on her shoulder and tightened her grip on the carry-on satchel so she could quicken her step.
Then she was in his arms, and the world, a capricious sphere that had been off-kilter for thre
e weeks, settled back into a smooth orbit. Zachary’s arms clasped her to him, and his lips reached hungrily for hers. Every part of her heaved a vast sigh of relief, as if she’d been infused with a heady dose of life-restoring elixir.
“God, it’s good to see you.” His eyes were alight with sparkles of happiness.
“I know. I feel like an exile who’s just been allowed to come home.”
He put his cheek next to hers and whispered, “Yes, exactly. That’s it exactly.”
Ashley had dropped both her bag and her purse to the floor in order to throw her arms around Zachary, and several people had stepped over and around them, casting irritated glances her way. She disentangled herself from Zachary’s arms and bent to retrieve them.
“Here, let me take that,” he said, reaching for the bag, reserving one free arm to put around her. “Do you have checked luggage?”
“Oh, yes. Quite a lot of it. I’ve never been one of those people who can travel with two changes of clothes.”
“I think I can forgive you that flaw.”
“Don’t be too hasty. Wait till you see how much stuff has to be carried.”
When they’d taken her three suitcases and one hanging bag from the carousel, Zach ran his fingers through his hair and grimaced. “I didn’t anticipate this.”
“Well, we could try for a porter. Or I can carry at least two of them.”
“No, that’s not the problem. Wait till you see my car.”
By that time, other members of the show group had clustered around, and they took time for hellos and how-are-yous. Then, with help from Matt, they transported her baggage outside.
Zach set down two of the heavy suitcases. “Matt, I’d like to offer you a ride to the hotel, but we already have a little problem here. I didn’t think ahead. I’m driving a Mercedes sports coupe and it already looks like I’ll be making two trips — one with Ashley and one with her luggage.”
Matt laughed. “Yeah, this kid doesn’t exactly travel light. Go ahead and get your car. I’ll wait with Ashley.”
When Zach drove up to the curb, Matt was gone and so were two of the larger cases. As he jumped out, he asked, “Have you been robbed, or is this some sort of disappearing trick?”
Ashley smiled. “I may pack too much, but I do pack efficiently. I had Matt take the stuff I don’t need for a couple of days to the hotel.”
Zach’s face clouded. “I take it that means you’re not staying with me very long.”
They had managed to pack the luggage into the small space, and Ashley slid into the seat, fighting the rise of apprehension his question evoked. “I really can’t, honey. As I told you, this is when everything really goes berserk. I’ll need to be right there with the others.”
He nodded. “That’s reasonable. Disappointing, but reasonable.”
She glanced at him in surprise. “You’re not upset? What a relief!”
He turned his head just long enough to send her a loving smile. “I’ve decided to make an attempt at being reasonable myself. Not only reasonable, but involved.”
“I hope you mean with me.”
“Of course with you. But also with the play. If it wouldn’t distract you too much, I’d like to look in on some of the evening rehearsals, get exposed to all that’s required to prepare for opening night. Since I’m in love with a show biz woman, I should try to understand what it entails. I promise to stay out of your way.”
“Zachary, do you mean it?”
“Yes.” He reached over for her hand. “I want to try, darling. To see if perhaps this monster I’ve been so leery of isn’t a monster after all.”
Ashley’s fingers wound tightly with his. For the very first time, she felt true hope surge in her heart. What Zach was suggesting was a chance, a real chance, that there might be a happy ending to their story. If he could take that first step, to understand and appreciate the demands of her career instead of simply becoming irritated by them, then further steps became possible. As they headed into the tunnel that carried the traffic below the harbor into Boston, she experienced a wave of anticipation. And it was not centered on the potential reviews of her show.
Zachary turned onto his side and propped himself on one elbow. He brushed a few wisps of hair from Ashley’s face and ran his fingers over her cheek in a gesture of infinite tenderness. “Umm. You know, I like living here on cloud nine. Wonderful atmosphere.”
Ashley, so sated with pleasure that her body was immobilized, barely managed to open her eyes. “Oh, yes, I agree. Absolutely the best address in town.” She yawned. “Excuse me. It isn’t the company, I promise.”
“I bet you’re bushed. Luckily, the housekeeper stocked the refrigerator so we can eat right here. In fact, if you’d like, you can snooze until dinnertime and I’ll serve you supper in bed.”
Her eyes really opened at that. “Wow, what an offer! That’s right, you did tell me you’d learned to cook.”
He chuckled. “I’m afraid I won’t be able to take much credit for this meal. The food came from Bildner’s, which is a great little market on Charles Street that caters to the Yuppies. Which means a hefty array of ready-to-serve dinners that bear no resemblance to the frozen variety.”
“Yuppies, eh? Now, I might be classified as one of them, but not you. Uh-uh. I’m surprised they even let you shop in the store. Or is that why you send your housekeeper, so no one will know it’s for a fancy dude on Beacon Street who started at the top?”
“Listen, how do you think those outrageously expensive little markets got started? Before Yuppies there were always fancy dudes and dudettes from Beacon Street.” He leaned down to kiss her nipple.
Ashley was amazed to feel a shock of excitement run through her. “Good grief, my body’s still responding. And here I thought nothing whatever could possibly catch its attention.”
He moved his fingers across her breasts, gently squeezing each jutting tip. In response to her gasp, he moved his hand slowly toward the beguiling triangle he’d so recently been in intimate contact with. “My, my. Just look at that. Instant reaction. Why are you squirming, my love? Is there something you want?” His devilish fingers tantalized her reawakened passion, and his lips and tongue returned to her nipples to augment the sweet torment with teasing kisses.
“Oh, Zachary, this may be the absolute end of me.”
He lifted his head. “Should I stop?”
“Ummm. Don’t you dare. That I’d never survive. Oh Zach . . .”
They ate dinner at a card table set up in front of the leaping fire in the brick fireplace. Ashley had forgotten how lovely his town house was, with its high ceilings and spacious rooms furnished with richly polished pieces that held that special patina of centuries of care. She glanced around, appreciating anew the rich hues of the huge Oriental rug stretched out over dark, gleaming floorboards. Like its owner, the house projected that special aura of class — undefinable, really, but easy to spot. It was something that couldn’t be bought or imitated or, her persistent mind pointed out, married into. That thought provoked a brief wave of awed inadequacy, which she quickly banished. She’d long ago won her battles over childhood feelings of inferiority, and they had no place here with Zach. He had made that abundantly dear on the one occasion she had voiced them. They had enough barriers to surmount without letting her imagination build more.
She took a long sip of the cold white wine, setting down the cut glass goblet with care. “My compliments to the chefs at Bildner’s. That was delicious.”
“They do a nice job, no question.” Zach put down his fork and stood to throw another log on the fire. “Warm enough?”
“Oh, yes. There’s nothing quite like a roaring fire, is there?”
“Nope. As long as the roaring’s confined to the hearth.”
“Oh my, yes.” She leaned back and looked around. “I love your place. Everything looks so . . . used.” S
he laughed in embarrassment, covering her mouth with her hand. “Oh dear, that is not the way I meant it at all.”
“No, no, don’t apologize. After all, not everyone can splurge on elegant new furniture; some of us just have to live with the hand-me-downs.”
She put her elbow on the table and supported her chin in her palm as she gazed thoughtfully into the multicolored flames. “Funny, isn’t it? There’s such a vast difference between family antiques and hand-me-downs. Yet, in truth, it’s all used furniture.”
“Maybe it depends on the manner and length of use. John Steinbeck wrote that the best legacy a man could leave was to dig a big hole, throw all his junk in it and bequeath the piece of land to his great-grandchildren with instructions for excavation. That way they could open an antique shop and make lots of money.”
Ashley laughed. “Good idea.”
He studied her face, serene now in the firelight. It had lost most of the signs of strain that had been there when he met her at the airport. “Tell me. How’s the show coming along?”
Her eyes moved to his and a tiny frown of uncertainty appeared. “I guess it’s all right.”
“All right? That’s not nearly as positive as your last report.”
“I know, it’s just . . .” Her fingers fiddled with the stem of her glass. “Oh, Zach, I’m so scared!”
“Scared?” He hitched his chair closer and put his arm around her. “Why? I thought everything looked very encouraging.”
“I don’t know, it’s just that opening night is almost here. And that’s so frightening.”
“Ashley, you’re shaking! Here, come over to the couch.” He pulled her to her feet and led her to the deep-cushioned sofa, where he sat down and pulled her into his embrace. “Now tell me what this is all about.”
“You don’t know what it’s like, Zach. It’s like putting bits and pieces of yourself out there on the stage, scene after scene, and waiting for the audience to give a thumbs-up or thumbs-down. The responses are never the same as they were in rehearsal. The laughs come at different places, so you have to sit through excruciating silence where you’ve expected reaction. And sometimes the songs you think will stop the show are all but passed over, and you have no idea why. You sit there and chew on your heart for hours till the play is over, then you go someplace and do the same thing until the reviews are in. It’s just too awful.”
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