Before going to the airport, they stopped by the hospital to tell Johnny. He grinned at them, his eyes alight. “Hey. Now that’s terrific. You two belong together, that’s for sure.” He winked at Ashley. “Get this guy to draw up a good marriage contract, sis, one you can both live with.”
She and Zachary stared at him in confusion. “Marriage contract? Why would we want one of those?”
“Not for money, that’s for sure. But you guys have to arbitrate a workable life-style. Might be challenging, but, hey, knowing you’re committed to each other should brook all obstacles.”
When they left him, Ashley and Zachary were still perplexed and, in truth, a little uneasy. They both knew what Johnny was referring to, and they knew it required discussion. But neither of them was ready to chance pricking their golden bubble of happiness.
About halfway to New York, Zachary, which great trepidation, asked, “Ashley, what about your career?”
She turned to look at him, savoring the sight of his handsome, aristocratic face, those fathomless eyes that promised such enchantment. “I know it’ll have to be drastically limited, but that’s part of my decision. Our marriage will take top priority. I don’t see why Matt can’t write the music in New York while I write the lyrics in Boston. There’re always the wonders of the telephone and overnight mail.”
“Were you serious about taking at least a year off?”
“Oh, sure. I can’t imagine why either of us would want to start another show for a year or so. We need a rest.” She leaned over to kiss his cheek. “And I need time to wallow in all this happiness.”
Zach smiled and took her hand in his. “We can look for a house as soon as you’d like. Maybe even decide to build. And, before long, we’ll probably want to think about a family.”
The thought of a tiny, adorable baby of her own warmed her with gladness. “We’ll have beautiful children! I hope they look just like you.”
“No fair. I want a little girl who’s the image of her mother.” He frowned, a look of uncertainty crossing his face. “Ashley, what if you find it can’t be done? That it’s impossible, at any level, to have your career and raise a family at the same time?”
“Then Matt will have to find another collaborator.”
“Are you sure?”
“Zach, I’ve thought about this for a very long time. Nobody can have everything. And I just simply couldn’t endure our breaking up again. I’m sure I’ll love being a wife and a mother. I can’t imagine being married to anyone but you, and it’s your children I want to bear. I can’t remember when I’ve felt so completely sure and so completely happy. If my career has to go, then that’s a price I’m willing to pay.” The words flowed out easily, and felt right in the saying, and Ashley was aglow with certainty. Everywhere, that is, but for a tiny knot in the pit of her stomach.
They had to agree to limiting their contact to telephone calls for the next couple of weeks, since Zachary had become disastrously behind in his work schedule. Once again, Ashley had to leave him at the airport and head home by herself — but this time without that awful sense of aloneness. She was part of a whole now, only temporarily separated from her other half.
It took a good while to make her way through the mail and the phone messages, accumulated, as they were, since her departure for Cancun. When she called Jerry, they agreed to meet the following day for lunch.
When she entered the Pen and Pencil restaurant, he was there waiting for her. He kissed her and gave her a welcoming hug. “My goodness, Miss Ashley, you look brown as a Hershey bar and just as delicious.”
She returned both the kiss and the hug. “Just goes to show what fresh air, sunshine and relaxation can do.” She beamed at him. “Not to mention happiness.”
They were seated quickly, and Jerry leaned toward her, his face one big question mark. “Tell me all about your trip. I’ve never endured such a dearth of gossip in my life. Matt off on a honeymoon and everyone else rushing in ten different directions. God, it’s good to see you.”
To her surprise, she felt quite teary. She’d had no idea till this moment how much she’d missed these people with whom she’d shared, on practically a daily basis, over a year of her life. “Did Craig decide to direct the Sheperd play?”
“Yes. Bless him, he’s vowed to be available in time for Goulden’s comedy.”
“How is that coming?”
“Terrific. Joe Sanders has decided that his first investment on Broadway was clearly a winner, so he’s taking a second plunge. He’s brought in two of his friends, and believe me, that man has some nice rich friends! Poor Zachary, he’s getting besieged with star-struck clients, not to mention a producer, a hoofer and a theater owner.”
“Good grief, I didn’t realize he’d taken on all those people.”
“I think it started out with that old routine of a friend of a friend and just grew.”
She grinned at him, unable to resist the perfect opening for her big news. “That’s not all. Jerry. He’s also about to take on a lyricist. As a wife, that is.”
His face split in a huge smile. “Sweetie! Now that’s good news! What a lucky guy!”
“I’m pretty darn lucky myself.”
“I agree. He’s a heck of a fine man, Ashley, congratulations!” He signaled the waiter and insisted on buying a bottle of Dom Perignon to celebrate her announcement.
Much to her relief, there were no questions about the possible implications of her marriage. For some reason, she just didn’t feel like getting into that. Besides, she owed it to Matt to discuss it with him first. She told Jerry about their lovely vacation in Cancun and about rushing out to see her injured brother, and he responded with appropriate envy toward the first and sincere concern about the second. Once they were through the general catching up, the talk naturally turned to theater. “How’s the show going? Still playing to full houses, I hope?”
“Hell, yes. Those are the hottest tickets in town. You’re a genius, love; you and that crazy bastard you collaborate with. Broadway hasn’t seen the likes of you two since Lerner and Loewe. I’m proud to be associated with you. I mean that.”
A lump of mammoth proportions had formed in Ashley’s throat. She was receiving one of the greatest compliments of her life. Why did she feel so strange, so . . . bereft? “Thank you. Jerry. Those are words I’ll always treasure.”
“You deserve them. Hey, you probably haven’t heard the news. Hold on to your wig, sweetie, this’ll blow you away!”
She leaned toward him, her eyes wide with interest. “Tell me, tell me. Don’t keep me in suspense.”
They had to wait for the waiter to open and pour the champagne and for Jerry to propose a toast to her wedded bliss. “Okay, speaking of romance, this one has to go down in the annals of time as one of the most unlikely.”
“Well spit it out, for goodness sake!”
“Remember what a little twerp Sammy Kirk was all through rehearsal and how he picked on that sweet girl?”
“Kelly.”
“Yes, Kelly. This one’ll knock your socks off. They are now the most sickeningly lovey-dovey twosome who ever smarmed their way across a stage. They’re getting married in two weeks, on a Monday, so they can have a one-night honeymoon!”
“You have to be kidding!”
“Oh, no, my dear. Love has bloomed, spraying its sweet nectar over all, stickying up the whole cast. And you won’t know Sammy. The little son of a gun has become Mr. Wonderful. Sweet, considerate, kind. He treats Kelly like a newly exhumed treasure that requires tender care to guard its fragility. It’s a real kick!”
“My God. Will wonders never cease.”
“Probably not. Now, let’s order lunch and talk a little business so I can write off the meal.”
That night Jerry escorted her to the theater. It was like returning to see a beloved old friend. She inhaled the invigorating ambien
ce. She consumed the applause like a glutton after a forced diet. During the intermission, she went backstage to have tearful reunions with the cast, fraught with emotion suitable to a three-year separation. She told everyone of her engagement and garnered their congratulations. She offered her own to Kelly and her unlikely beau, marveling at the change in Sammy. She felt engulfed in comforting familiarity and infused with renewed excitement about this show of hers, this baby of her creativity.
Jerry dropped her off at her place, promising to keep in close touch. She took the elevator to the third floor, reminding herself all the way of her mixed and multitudinous blessings. She couldn’t talk to Zachary, because he was on a business trip where there’d be no chance to call for a couple of days. When she was in bed, lying in the dark, she rose to one elbow and looked out over the lights of New York City.
And she really didn’t know why, but she cried herself to sleep.
Matt and Amy had extended their honeymoon trip, so the unsettling prospect of telling Matt about her coming marriage was postponed. She felt strangely adrift, caught between one country and another, trying to keep herself occupied until she arrived somewhere. At the end of the second week of her exile from Zachary, he called her very early in the morning.
“Good morning, my darling. I hope I didn’t wake you.”
“You didn’t. Besides, you could call in the middle of the night. I wouldn’t mind.”
He chuckled. “It wasn’t so long ago when that was the only time I could call you. It must feel good to be on a more reasonable schedule.”
Ashley frowned. Did it? No. But he was right. It should. “Tell me you’re coming to New York. Please.” She hoped he hadn’t heard that trace of desperation in her voice.
“That’s exactly what I’m about to do. Why don’t I pick you up about eight and we’ll go to the Veau d’Or again. I’m feeling sentimental.”
“Oh, Zach! That sounds wonderful! How long will you be here?”
“Let’s see, it is Thursday, isn’t it?” She tried to remember. Somehow the days seemed to be melting into each other. He laughed. “You can see how busy I’ve been, can’t even keep the days straight.” She hadn’t been doing anything, and neither could she. “I have to catch a plane to Chicago on Sunday, so I can get together with my clients before our meeting on Monday morning. But that gives us a few days. Just think, before long we’ll have every day and every night!”
When they walked into the Veau d’Or that night, Ashley was amazed to realize it had been less than four months ago that she and Zachary had met here, had rekindled their romance. And now look, they were engaged and destined to live happily ever after. They bid a cheerful hello to Charlie, the waiter, who insisted on seating them in his service area. “How about some champagne?” Zachary asked. “We certainly have plenty to celebrate.”
She felt as though her smile must use up most of her face.
“Lovely idea.”
When Charlie had uncorked the champagne and poured it into two crystal tulip glasses, he asked, “Special event tonight?”
Zachary grinned. “Indeed. And by the time you come back to take our order, we’ll be more than happy to tell you.”
As Charles walked away, Ashley asked him, “Why didn’t you just tell him?”
“Because — ” Zachary reached into his pocket and took out a tiny box “ — the prop wasn’t in place.” He opened the box and took out a ring. “I hope you like it, love. I had it made up out of two of my grandmother’s rings.” He took Ashley’s hand and slipped it on her finger.
Ashley held her hand out in front of her, overwhelmed. “It’s the most beautiful ring I’ve ever seen! Oh, Zachary, I love it!” A large square-cut diamond was surrounded by emeralds, all set in white gold. It was spectacular. “Thank you.” Her eyes were full of tears. “It means even more to know it was made from stones your grandmother wore.”
When Charlie returned, she stretched out her hand for his inspection, and they both grinned at his enthusiasm. He took their dinner order, then returned to tell them the champagne was on the house, an engagement present from the management.
The whole evening seemed magical and closely followed the pattern of that first night. Except that this time, after they’d made love, Zachary didn’t leave. They fell asleep clasped in each other’s arms, sure they’d been given permanent residence on that fabled cloud nine.
Zachary and Ashley decided they’d waited long enough — well over three years, to be accurate — for their wedding day, so they set the date for just two months in the future, on June 22. Her mother didn’t protest the short notice; she was far too happy about the impending marriage to want it postponed. Zachary’s parents appeared to be very happy for them, particularly, she sensed, because they’d been told of her intention to put their wedded life first.
The weeks skimmed by, one day running into the next, with scarcely enough time to think of all the things that needed doing, let alone get to the bottom of any of the endless lists. She went to Cedar Rapids to another reunion of friends. This one was a bridal shower, thrown in her honor, and included all her female relatives, as well as a good number of her parents’ friends. This time Ashley felt a true part of the scene, sharing the same ambitions, the same motivations. She positively threw herself into the camaraderie, enjoying the unfamiliar sensation of being completely cast in a traditional woman’s role. She talked about sheets and bedspreads, how to keep a cleaning woman and how to protect her husband from a diet too high in cholesterol. For the first time in her life, she felt like “one of the girls,” and she reveled in the heightened sense of companionship. What in the world had made her feel so . . . separate . . . the last time she was there?
The one troublesome event in the steady stream of celebrations was when she’d had to tell Matt just what her marriage would entail. She’d put it off as long as possible, but when he and Amy had been home for a week, she knew it was past time. She asked him to come to her apartment. It was where they’d done so much of their work together, where they’d spawned so many exciting ideas, written so many songs, some of which were now played regularly on the radio and sold in volume on records.
When Matt came in, his face was aglow with the beam of a happy man, a condition that appeared to have taken permanent hold since his marriage. He headed straight for the piano bench and sat down. “You wanted to talk to me? What, have you finally come down close enough to earth to listen to my hot idea?” Matt, like Jerry, had been delighted at the news of her engagement and oblivious to the fact that it would interfere with her career. Probably, she thought, because neither of them could imagine life outside of the theater, and assumed she wouldn’t either.
She sat down in the pink chair, aware that her hands were shaking. This was going to be so terribly hard; she grabbed hold of the opportunity to put it off a little longer. “It concerns a different matter. But why don’t you tell me your idea? I’ve been anxious to hear it.” The moment the words were out of her mouth, she knew they were a mistake. Thinking about a new musical wasn’t going to help either of them.
But before she could change her mind and plunge into her explanation, Matt had started to play. He always liked to underscore his words with music. “Remember the old book by Robert Louis Stevenson, The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde?”
“Yes.” Should she interrupt him and cut this off?
“I picked up a copy in that inn where Amy and I stayed. Hadn’t ever read it, actually. I just remembered the story from that old movie they show on TV, which, of course, bears little resemblance to the book. Anyway, it blew me away. I mean, Ashley, the theme of that book is today, solidly contemporary. It’s about a man who wanted so much to be entirely good, who wanted so badly to get rid of his faults and his weaknesses, that he kept working in his laboratory until he found a formula to separate his two sides, good and evil. That way old Hyde could go out and raise hell and Jekyll
didn’t have to suffer the guilt. Then, of course, the whole thing gets out of hand.”
As he talked, Ashley grew more and more excited. Matt had already written a couple of tunes, and as he played them, lyrics jumped into place and the story began to build in her mind. Suddenly she jumped up. “No. Matt, I’m sorry, I can’t afford to get involved in this, not right now.”
His face was masked by disappointment. “Oh, yeah, that’s right. I’m sure you don’t want to think about a new musical till you get through the wedding. Tell you what, I’ll ice it for a couple of months, okay?”
At that point, she had no alternative but to tell Matt, fully and truthfully, the limitations she’d promised Zach to put on her career. Including the possibility of ending it entirely. Her friend’s face grew longer and longer during the telling, and her heart grew heavier and heavier. “Matt, I know what a blow this is. If you want to consider another lyricist to work on this show, I would certainly understand.”
“Hell, Ashley, how can I do that? I mean, you and I, we’re the perfect team. People just don’t match up that well but once or twice in a lifetime.”
“I know.” Her heart slid down a little farther, to somewhere around her waistline. “But I love him, Matt, and I’m going to put that above everything else.”
He looked at her for a long moment, his eyebrows pulled together in an unbelieving frown. “Babe, you know I want you to be happy. And I do think you and Zach are another perfect match. But it won’t work, Ashley. Not this way. If you’re telling yourself you can get a divorce from the theater, you’re telling yourself lies. Hon, you’re setting yourself up for another broken heart.”
“Matt, you don’t understand. I’ve thought and thought about it, and this is the way it’s got to be.”
“Okay, babe, I wish you luck.” He stood up and took her into his arms, giving her a big hug and a kiss. “The best of it.”
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