by J. S. Wilder
I’d smiled as I saw the eyes of the Fire women suddenly light up with interest and glance across the room at the Hedordians. I could see in their faces, that after listening to Peralut, the Hedordians were suddenly much more interesting. I expected there would be many bondings between Hedordian and Firaspatciti in the future. I was looking forward to our next meeting to see if anything Geller, in particular, had said sunk in with the rest of the men.
“No, my Lady.”
I’d originally thought that Fires couldn’t, or wouldn’t lie. I’d found out I was wrong, and Tokalas was proving it once again. “Tokalas… something is clearly bothering you. Is there something I can help you with?”
“No, my Lady. You tried.”
I frowned, trying to understand what he was saying. “I tried? Are you and Lurell not getting along?”
He looked down but said nothing as Peval entered. “My apologies for keeping you waiting, my Lady,” she said as she strode briskly into the room. “I was delayed.”
I smiled at her. “No apologies necessary, Peval.”
I nodded to the portal tech and he opened a portal to Estaan. Tokalas went through first, Peval and I following him a moment later. When we stepped on Estaan, I touched Tokalas on the arm.
“With me,” I said before turning and striding away to my tiny office. Tokalas and I entered and I closed the door as Peval took up station outside. “Now, tell me what’s going on. Is it Lurell?”
“No, my Lady.”
“Then what is it?”
“It’s me. Lurell is a beautiful and desirable woman, one that I would gladly take as a bonded mate, but…”
“But what?”
He looked at me, a slight sadness creeping into his eyes. “I can’t give her what she wants.”
I looked at him, trying to decipher his words. “What she wants?”
“No, my Lady.”
I sighed. He was being so stiff and formal. “Can’t you call me Catherina anymore? Tokalas, I’m still your friend, aren’t I? Forget I’m the Lady and talk to me. I can’t help you if you won’t talk to me.”
“I’m not what Lurell is looking for.”
“In what way?”
“She wants me to return to Hedord to work the land with her. I… don’t wish to be a farmer, and she doesn’t want to be anything else.”
I chewed on my lower lip. “Is that all it is?”
“I think so, my… Catherina. She seemed to enjoy our mating, and I certainly did. I enjoyed her companionship a great deal, and she seemed to enjoy mine.”
“But she wants you to return to Hedord to live, and you don’t want to go?”
“Yes. My place is here, at your weak side.”
“And you won’t change your mind?”
“No.”
“And she won’t, either?”
“No, I don’t think so. She speaks of fields of grain as I speak of a lover.” He gave me a small smile. “I’ve never been envious of a field of grain before.”
I giggled. “But other than her wanting to return to Hedord, you got along well?”
“Yes, very well I think. As I said, I would gladly accept her as a bonded mate.”
I nodded. “Would you like me to try to find another Hedordian, one that wasn’t so attached to their home?”
“I would gladly accept another. They have a certain honor in them, and I enjoyed her strength and determination, but I think it will be difficult. She introduced me to several of her friends and their mates, and all couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t want to come to Hedord. It’s as if they draw their life from the soil.”
“Are you and Lurell still mating?”
“No. Once we realized that neither of us could change, we decided to part to give each of us a chance to find what we wanted.”
“When?”
“Two nights past, when you were under our Lord’s protection.”
I nodded. When I was with Stevan, my personal guards got the night off as I was under the protection of his much larger contingent of guards.
“I’m sorry, Tokalas. I really thought Lurell was right for you. Don’t get discouraged. We have a saying on Earth, ‘there are plenty of fish in the sea.’ It means that if Lurell wasn’t right for you, there are plenty more women for us to try.”
“Perhaps I should simply accept my—”
“Station!” I barked, causing Tokalas to instantly snap to attention. “You listen to me, Tokalas. I don’t want to hear you talking like again. You are Firaspatciti! You don’t quit and you don’t give in! Ever! Somewhere out there is a woman that will feel lucky to have you. You are a good man, and Lurell’s loss will be someone else’s gain.” I softened slightly. “Stand ready,” I said, and he relaxed into a parade rest. “This was only our first try. Surely you don’t give up so easily.” He said nothing. “Speak.”
“No, my Lady.” I stared at him, saying nothing. “No, Catherina,” he amended.
“That’s better. When we get back to Fire, I’ll suggest someone else and we’ll try again.” Again he said nothing, and I sighed. “Rest, and speak freely,” I said so he would stop being so formal.
Fires never slump, but some of the stiffness left his body. “You’re sure there’s someone out there who would desire me as I am?”
“Positive.” He smiled slightly but he didn’t look convinced. “Tokalas, I want to tell you something, but on your honor, what I’m about to tell you shall never be repeated again, not even to me. Do I have your honorable word?” I asked, extracting the most scared promise a Fire can give.
“On my honorable word, my Lady.”
“Do you remember when you kissed me?”
“Yes, my Lady.”
“When you did, I wanted to mate with you badly. I’ve seen nothing that leads me to think I would have regretted mating with you. Even bonding with you. You’re good and honorable man. Any woman should be thankful that someone like you would consider bonding with her. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
He stared at me for a long moment then dipped his head very low, lower than I’d ever seen him do before. “You pay me a great compliment, my Lady,” he said, speaking to the floor. “I am honored that you think so highly of me. You have my honorable word that we shall never speak of this again.”
“Look at me, Tokalas,” I said softly. “Lurell wasn’t the one for you, but don’t give up hope. On my honor, I won’t stop looking until I find the mate that’s looking for you.”
He lowered his head again, though not as low as before, then looked back up and held my gaze. “I have faith in you. I know if anyone can do it, you can.”
I smiled. “It may take several more attempts to find the right person. Everyone makes mistakes, and I’m no exception. Don’t give up on me, Tokalas, and I won’t give up on you.”
He smiled. “I must be special. I’ve kissed you and saw you make a mistake. That’s not something most can say.”
I giggled. His humor was returning. “Yes, well, we don’t have to mention the second part, do we? It would spoil my reputation as a miracle worker.”
“Your secret is safe with me, my Lady.”
“I know that, Tokalas.” I sighed. “Now, how do you feel about helping me try to put some fire in these Water males? Maybe I’ll get Peval to help too. Nothing else I try to get through to them seems to be working.”
“Will I get to kiss Verery again?”
I giggled again. “Maybe. I think she might like that.”
He smiled. “I think I would like that myself.”
I opened the door and we stepped out, nodding to Peval as she stood at the ready in the hall. As I walked down the hall, I wondered if having Tokalas snatch Verery away from them would put some aggression into the Waters. I sighed. I asked Tokalas to not give up on me and that I wouldn’t give up on him. I wanted to say the same about the Aquallian men, but these Waters, they were wearing me down.
I stepped into the room and sighed again. A room full of beautiful people of the op
posite sex, and what do they do? Congregate with their own kind. I didn’t blame the Estaans as much as the Waters. The Estaans, at least, seemed to understand and were eager to try new things. Somehow, I needed to reach the Waters and get them to feel the same way. But how?
Ten
Stevan
I stepped into our quarters and smiled. Catherina was sitting in her favorite chair, staring at a memory cube, but she didn’t look happy. I walked to her and gave her a slow kiss, but I could sense something was bothering her.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“It’s these fucking Aquallian men!” she snapped. “They’re so damned passive they won’t do a goddamn thing to help themselves! I’m about ready to wash my hands of them. They deserve to die out.”
I stared at her a moment. Never had I heard her be so harshly critical of a People. In the past, she could always find something positive about a People, no matter who they were. She glared at me, her eyes narrowed and hard with her color high. She always turned slightly red when her passions were up, one of the color changes she exhibited with her involuntary telegraphing of her emotions, so I knew this was more than mere annoyance and frustration.
“What of the women?”
She blew out air from puffed cheeks, something she often did when she was trying to release tension.
“That’s going better. The Hedordians and Firaspatciti are beginning to understand each other. There are several pairs mating. With all but two, the mating is still just physical gratification, but those two are becoming very close. They are becoming companions, and they are beginning to encourage the others. I expect several more to pair up soon, and there may be some shuffling going to happen, but I think we’re past the hard part there. They just need some steady encouragement, and the occasional helping hand, to work things out. I expect we’ll be ready to open it up to a larger group soon and I don’t think there will be any shortage of volunteers on either side. The Fires are much more compatible with the Hedordians than with the Waters.”
I sighed with relief. I had kept my concerns to myself, but I’d been worried she couldn’t work her magic a second time and the Firaspatciti females would have been left competing for mates on an unequal field.
“That’s excellent news! Any thoughts on how to overcome the problems with the Aquallian males?”
“No, not at the moment.”
I gave her plenty of time to offer me something, a crumb of hope, but she said nothing more. “Nothing?” I prompted.
“They have to want to mate, Stevan. I can’t force them to want to fuck.”
“I understand, but the entire universe is watching what we do here, especially when you’re involved. We—well, to be honest—you, are winning over the universe. The resistance isn’t going to go away easily and I think we need to show steady progress to keep them on the defensive.”
“I understand, but what would you have me do?” she snapped. “I’ve tried everything I can think of, but I can’t find anything that works.”
“There must be something.”
“Yeah? Like what?” she growled. “Let me ask you this. What would it take to get you interested in fucking Kergah or Bruth?”
“That’s not the same thing.”
“It most certainly is the same thing!” she snarled, jumping to her feet and stomping around the room, her hands telegraphing her extreme agitation. “If you’re not interested, you’re not interested, and there is very little anyone can do to make you interested. The Water women are as near a match for the Water men as any women in the universe. Most of the Peoples of the universe are seeing a decline in births because they can’t conceive or can’t carry a child to term. But not the Waters! Oh, hell no! There, the men simply don’t want to get it up anymore. They are more interested in doing almost anything other than fucking, and when a pretty woman comes on to them, they haven’t gotten a fucking clue about what to do! So, you tell me, Stevan, how am I supposed to solve that?”
“I understand,” I said softly, trying to calm her down. I’d never seen her so upset and I wasn’t sure what to do about it. “What do you need?”
“Time! I need time, I need the Waters to start showing some initiative, and you pressuring me isn’t helping!”
“I’m not pressuring you!”
“No? It certainly feels like it.”
“I’m not pressuring, Catherina. You’ve already worked miracles. But time is the one thing I can’t give you. This has to work, and you’re the only person that can make it work. If you can’t, perhaps within the lifetime of our grandchildren, the Firaspatciti and Aquallia may no longer survive as a viable culture.”
“I can’t do it,” she said, her shoulders slumping.
I took her into my arms. “You can. I know you can. You’re the only one that can.”
She shoved out of my arms. “I can’t, goddammit! I can’t save the universe by myself! You’re asking too much of me!”
She turned her back to me before storming to our bedchamber and slammed the door, but not before I heard the first of her sobs. She hadn’t cried in months. Normally, I could take her in my arms and soothe her worries, but tonight she’d rejected my attempt. I followed her to the door and tried to open it, but it was locked.
“Open the door.”
“Go away!”
The lock was a simple latch, designed to let someone know the person inside wanted privacy, not actually keep someone out. I pulled my short blade and easily opened the lock.
“I said go away! You ask too much from me, Stevan! I can’t do it!” she said as she sniffed and wiped at her eyes with her hands.
She was sitting slumped in the center of our bed. I crossed the room and sat down on the edge. She was out of reach, but that didn’t matter. “Do you remember when I first bought you here, how scared you were?”
“Yes,” she said softly.
“I saw a strength in you then. I knew from the moment I looked into your eyes you had a strength you weren’t aware of. Look at how much you’ve accomplished. The danger hasn’t passed, but for the first time in a hundred years, the Peoples have hope. The vote on Pearakut proves that. More worlds are joining with Aquallia and Firaspatciti every day and announcing they will not go quietly into the long darkness. That’s because of you, my dear Catherina. You and no other. You brought the Firaspatciti and the Aquallia together. Fire and Water as you call us, opposites in every measure, and yet you managed to find a way. You showed us our true selves. The Aquallia have a strength we never suspected, and against every odd, you found a tender side within us.”
I smiled at her. “Look at how much I’ve changed since you started giving me ‘lessons.’ I still have much to learn from you, but what I’ve already learned is there is more to the Peoples than the stereotypes. There is more to the fierce and deadly Firaspatciti than aggression and violence. There is more strength in the gentle Aquallia than I could have imagined. It wasn’t until you showed me, that I understood how difficult their position in the Peoples is. To care for the aged, sick, and dying is a task I could never do. It takes more strength than I possess to continually watch those under your care suffer and die, yet they handle it with such grace it astounds me. You showed me that, Catherina.”
I paused to see if I was reaching her. She was staring at me, her eyes full of tears. “Because of you, I’m truly seeing the Peoples for the first time. You are making us stronger and more resilient than ever before. Please, don’t give up on us, Catherina.”
She whimpered and held her arms out to me. I smiled and crossed the bed to pull her into my arms. I held her as she wept, her body racked with her sobs. I couldn’t imagine the pressures she must be feeling, but she only had to carry the load alone a bit farther. The peoples of the universe were swarming to her aide, eager to help her with her burden. She just hadn’t seen it yet.
“I’m sorry I yelled at you,” she sniffed when her sobs lessened.
“It’s no matter. I’m sorry you’re feeling so over
whelmed. I didn’t mean to make you feel pressured.”
“I know.”
“The Peoples of the universe stand ready to offer their hands. How can you use them?”
“That’s just it. I don’t know. I don’t know how to reach the Water males.”
“Then perhaps it’s time for them to go into the long darkness.”
She nodded. “Maybe. They seem to have no desire to mate. It’s like they believe women are unnecessary. But they’re doctors! They know reproduction takes two, yet they can’t seem to find it within themselves to do anything.”
“You can’t save them from themselves, no matter how hard you try.”
She pulled back and looked at me. Her eyes were red and puffy, but the tension that had been in her face and body when I entered our quarters was missing.
“I know. I hate to give up on them, but I’m simply out of ideas. They are kind of like the Amazonians back on Earth. They live in their own little world and they… don’t…”
“What?” I asked when she stopped, her eyes opening wide. The tension was back.
She looked at me, her color rising once again. “On Earth, there was this mythical band of women, the Amazons, that had no use for men. They were supposed to be great warriors, more than a match for any man, and to reproduce, they met with a man once a year to mate and become pregnant. Other myths say they took men as slaves to mate with them. In any case, it was the Amazons that were the aggressors and controlled the mating.”
Something about this was exciting her, but I didn’t know what and said so.
“Maybe the solution is as simple and turning the tables. I’ve been trying to make the Aquallian males more aggressive so they would pick their mates. Maybe I have it backward and I should put the females in charge of selecting her mate.”
“But, you said the Aquallian men didn’t like aggressive women. That’s why you didn’t pair them up with the Fire women… not that any Firaspatciti woman I know would have a thing to do with—” I forced myself to stop. I was falling back on old stereotypes.
“I did, and there’s no way that pairing would work. But the Estaans might be a little more open to the idea. They’re very laid back, like the Aquallia.”