by Goda, Julia
My mind was still wandering. I had calmed down quite a bit since I’d come down here, but my heart was still hurting like hell and I hadn’t come up with a plan of what to do next. Nothing made sense. I knew Cole better than anyone. Yes, he had been a pig, going through women like water, but he had never cheated. He had always told them what they signed up for. He wasn’t a liar or a cheater. So why had he lied to me? It was clear that he had met up with Courtney a few times. It was proven by those pictures she had sent me. And he had been working late a lot, so there could have potentially been a lot of opportunities for him to cheat. I knew how it worked. Still, I couldn’t wrap my head around him betraying me like that. He loved me. I knew that. The way he was with me could not be faked. Nobody could act like that for such a long period of time. It was impossible. Especially for someone like Cole—a complete straight-talker. So what had happened? And why was she in his office? Naked on his desk? With his hands on her hips? He wouldn’t be able to explain that away. I knew what I had seen. And then there was the pregnancy. That photo definitely wasn’t a fake. I didn’t know anything about ultrasound pictures, but it looked like she wasn’t very far along. You couldn’t make out more than a little blob in that picture. The thought of them having a child together brought the tears back. I wiped at them angrily, tired of being a sorry mess, of hurting and being frustrated. So many emotions ran through me I couldn’t seem to decide on just one.
Footsteps were coming down the beach behind me. Probably someone out for a late afternoon stroll along the waves. If I were living by the sea, I would come out here for a walk every day. Maybe even get a dog that I could watch play in the waves. The footsteps stopped right behind me, and I immediately knew who it was. I closed my eyes, trying to prepare myself for what was about to come. Cole’s proximity made the pain and the confusion worse, like when you’re really sad and someone gives you a hug to console you, but actually makes it worse by touching you and you can’t hold the tears back and dissolve into sobs. I kept my eyes closed in an effort to keep the tears at bay. I could feel him rounding me and kneeling in the sand right in front of me. His hands cupped my cheeks, the physical contact making it impossible for me to hold back the tears any longer. They ran freely down my face, getting his hands all wet in the process.
“Baby,” Cole breathed in an agonized whisper, “please, look at me.”
I shook my head and kept on silently crying. I knew I was being a coward, but I knew I couldn’t look at him yet. His thumbs started moving on my cheeks, trying to keep up with the tears that were rolling down my face.
“How did you find me?” I asked in a broken voice.
Cole’s hands twitched at hearing my voice. He took a deep breath before answering me. “I hired a private investigator slash badass a few weeks ago to help me with the Courtney situation,” my whole body flinched at the mention of Courtney’s name, making his hands tighten on my face before he continued. “His name is Max. He found you. Put a trace on your cell phone and located you when you called Marie.” He had hired a private investigator? I opened my eyes. Cole gave me a small smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes, which were sad besides a whole lot of other things. I could see pain clearly written there, as well as fear and remorse. And anger. There was a lot of that, too.
“Are you angry with me?” Don’t ask me why I wanted to know. I shouldn’t care if he was angry with me. He was the one who had lied to me.
“No, honey, I’m not angry with you,” another flinch from me and another tightening of hands from him. “I’m angry at myself for not talking to you, for making it possible for someone to come between us, to give them an opening and make you believe their lies. I’m so sorry my actions caused you so much pain.” I kept looking at him quietly, trying to understand what he’d just said, trying to make his words fit in with what I had seen today. What were lies and what was the truth?
He must have seen the confusion in my eyes. “Let me explain everything from the start,” he continued in a quiet voice. I nodded. I needed to know, even if his words would possibly only hurt me more. I needed to know what reality I was going to have to face.
“Remember when we went away that first weekend and I told you about Courtney calling and texting me non-stop?” I nodded again. “I agreed to meet her at a bar, so I could make it clear once and for all that I didn’t want her, that I was committed to you, to our future. I thought if I told her face-to-face, she would get it. I wasn’t nice about it, was straight up and to the point, but she wouldn’t listen. After that meeting, she kept contacting me, but I ignored all her calls and messages. That’s when I started running into her. At the coffee shop. At a restaurant where I had lunch with one of the company partners. In the parking garage. That’s when the photos you saw today were taken. She must have a partner who was taking those photos. It was all a set up. I didn’t meet with her in any of those places, certainly didn’t ask her to undress for me in the parking garage of my company,” his voice was getting agitated and he had to close his eyes for a moment to get his anger under control. “Liz, baby, I swear to God there was nothing going on between Courtney and me behind your back. I wouldn’t do that to you. Not ever.” His eyes were pleading with me to believe him. And I did. I couldn’t help it and maybe I was being stupid, but I knew that he wasn’t a cheater. At my nod, Cole closed his eyes in relief and kissed my forehead. “Thank you,” he whispered there.
“What about the baby?” I asked him, my voice breaking on that last word.
“It’s not mine. Even if she really is pregnant, which I doubt by the way, there is no chance I’m the father.” How could he be so sure? I had to know.
“When…?” I couldn’t finish the question. It hurt too much. But Cole knew what I was asking.
“June. My parents’ anniversary party,” he answered. June. It was November now, which meant she would be five months pregnant by now if Cole were the father. That ultrasound picture was not the picture of a five-month-old fetus. And she would be showing by now. She definitely did not have a baby bump. Which meant that Cole was telling the truth. He was not going to have a baby with that woman. Relief washed through my body. Relief so sweet that I tipped my head back to look at the sky and my breath left me in one big whoosh.
“Oh, thank God,” I whispered.
“Yeah,” Cole agreed with me on a chuckle.
I tipped my face back down to his to see a small smile there. Then his face sobered and his eyes went serious again.
“Now, about what you saw this morning in my office,” my body tightened again at his reminder of seeing his hands on her naked body. He moved his face closer to mine so that all I could see were his eyes boring into mine. “I know what it probably looked like. But you have to believe me, Liz. I only had my hands on her to push her away. It was stupid. I should have just gotten up and called security. But she surprised me. I didn’t think. She must have known you were on your way. She wanted you to see us and make the wrong assumptions. It was all part of her plan to drive you away from me.”
“Why did you even let her come in?”
“I didn’t. Sam thought she was you. Courtney told her she was my girlfriend and wanted to surprise me with coffee. Sam had never met you and had been instructed to let you through if you ever showed up at my office. I was on the phone and focused on my screen when she walked in. I didn’t realize it was her right away, assuming it was Sam bringing me my coffee. The next thing I saw was her naked body in front of me. I was about to push her away when the door opened again and you stood there. I panicked. When I saw that look on your face…God, baby, I will never forget that look for as long as I live.” He paused and closed his eyes. Pain was written all over his face. I believed him. Call me stupid, but I did. And it made sense. Courtney had always been a crazy bitch. Her recent actions showed that she was probably crazier than I had suspected. What did she think she would accomplish with this? Aside from driving us apart? What could she possibly gain from this?
I reache
d for him and he welcomed me into his arms, holding me to him as tightly as he possibly could. I had been so stupid. Instead of running away from him, I should have talked to him, let him explain. This whole thing hadn’t made sense to me from the start. But Courtney had timed it just right, making me insecure by sending me those pictures and then not giving me a chance to talk to Cole about it before she hit me with another blow. That vindictive bitch.
“I’m so sorry, Cole. I shouldn’t have run,” I cried in his arms.
Cole tightened his arms around me. “You have nothing to be sorry for. I handled that situation wrong. If I had talked to you before when she was following me around, none of this would have happened. It was my fault. I underestimated her and gave her the opening she needed to infuse her poison. Don’t you dare apologize.”
I pulled my head out of his neck and looked at him through my wet eyes.
“I love you. So much,” I hiccoughed. “I came to talk to you about those pictures. I didn’t believe that you would cheat on me. But when I saw you…with your hands on her naked…it hurt so much…it was tearing me apart. I didn’t think. All I wanted was to get away. So I ran.”
“I know, baby. Don’t think about it anymore.” He kissed me. Deep and long. He kissed me like it was our last kiss. Or our first. As if my lips on his were all he would ever need to survive. And I kissed him back with everything I had, poured all my love and need for him into that kiss. Promising him that I would never lose faith in his love for me again. When he ended the kiss, he kept his mouth on mine, mingling our breaths, and stared into my eyes.
“I’m not blaming you for needing to get away. I get it. But I gotta say this. Don’t ever leave me like that again, Liz. Not telling anybody where you went, not answering your phone. The past few hours have been torture, knowing you were in so much pain and not being able to do anything about it, not knowing where to find you. I thought I had lost you forever.”
“I promise.”
He nuzzled my neck. “You know, when I first saw that ultrasound picture, I thought it was you who was pregnant.”
“You did?”
“I did. And I was happy about it. I want that with you, Liz. I want you pregnant with my baby. I want to marry you and have a family. The sooner the better.” For the millionth time today, I stopped breathing. Then my heart inflated and expanded, filling my whole body with warmth. Tears welled in my eyes again, but this time they were happy tears.
“Are you asking me to marry you?” I asked. There was a little bit of teasing in my voice, just in case he had gotten ahead of himself and needed an out.
“I am. Marry me. Please.” His face was open and loving, as was his voice. He was serious. One hundred percent serious. My heart surged and expanded in my chest as tears started to blur my vision.
“Yes,” was all I could get out before his lips crushed down on mine and he kissed me again, this time for a lot longer.
“I want you to be my wife as soon as possible. Spring, or better yet, Christmas,” he said when he broke the kiss. I burst out laughing but stopped abruptly when I realized he was again one hundred percent serious.
“Are you crazy?” I asked. “It’s cold and gross in December.”
“Then we’ll go somewhere else. How about Hawaii or St. Croix? It’s warm enough there.” That sounded fantastic, actually. A destination wedding at Christmas. In paradise. Perfect. Almost too perfect. I opened my mouth to ask him if he was absolutely sure about this, but couldn’t get a word out before his hand covered my mouth.
“Uh, uh. Not happening. You are not letting your insecurities overwhelm you. Not when it concerns us. Not ever. Not as long as I’m around. Which, since you agreed to be mine legally, will be until you die.”
I giggled then smiled brightly at him when he removed his hand. “Okay. Deal. We’ll get married some place warm. But we’ll have to fly out all our friends.”
He chuckled. “Nothing would make me happier, love.”
“Well, you can afford it. With your grandfather leaving you all those millions last year,” I teased him.
His eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Who told you about that?”
“Sophie did during Thanksgiving dinner. I was going to bust your chops about not telling me, but then I realized it doesn’t really matter. I knew you were rich so what’s a few more millions?” He threw his head back and this time, he was the one who burst out laughing. I had never heard him sound this carefree and happy. It was a beautiful sight to see. Still laughing, Cole picked me up. I threw my arms and legs around him monkey-style and he carried me like this all the way back to the parking lot.
Standing by the side of his car was a big guy in what I guessed was his mid or late forties, with wide shoulders and legs like tree stumps. He had his arms crossed on his wide chest and was watching our approach, his dark eyes lit with amusement. Even though he was huge and a little scary-looking, I liked him instantly.
“Liz, meet Max. Max, this is my fiancée Liz,” he grinned proudly at calling me his fiancée. It was cute and deserved another kiss.
“Fiancée, huh? Congratulations.” Max said through his own grin as he slapped Cole on the back in male approval. Then he looked at me and his face became serious for a second. “You okay, doll?” I was shocked by the concern in his voice. This guy didn’t even know me, but it seemed like he wanted to make sure I was all right.
“Yeah, Max. I’m okay,” I assured him. Then I scowled as I remembered the predicament that brought us here. “I’ll be more okay, though, once I get to go a round with that bitch and beat the shit out of her.” Max’s eyes turned back to amused and he lifted his chin at Cole.
“Fiery, this one. Gonna have your hands full.”
“Oh, don’t I know it,” Cole said like he wouldn’t want it any other way. I gave him a big grin. He started walking toward my car.
“Are we going home?” I asked him when he put me on my feet by the passenger door.
“Yeah. Unless you want to spend the night here?”
“No. I want to go home and celebrate. And I think I have some phone calls to make on the way home and calm some people down.”
“That’s probably a good idea.” His face turned serious and tentative when he said, “You know, Chloe gave us the idea that you would be at the beach. So when you called Marie earlier, we were already on our way down here. We just weren’t sure which beach you would stop at.”
“How did Chloe know?”
Something close to sadness and remorse flitted through his eyes. “She said you told her about how you liked the feel of sand running through your fingers while watching the stars. I knew about the sand, of course, but the stars were news to me. Then I remembered how happy and calm you were when I took you to the cottage that weekend and thought that’s where you would go.” I smiled at him and kissed him. When I pulled back there was still that hint of sadness in his eyes.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Chloe also mentioned that you told her about your cave and the fact that we probably wouldn’t find you there, because you have hated it since you were seventeen, when your childhood friend did something to make you never go there again.” His eyes were boring into mine and I stiffened. “Care to explain that?” He pushed me when I didn’t say anything.
“Not really,” I whispered. I had been through the emotional gamut in the past few hours. I didn’t particularly want to relive one of the worst memories of my teenage years.
“Lizzy.” Cole’s tone was a gentle warning.
I sighed. Then I closed my eyes and murmured, “The night of the party, Thanksgiving weekend my junior year. I was there in the woods when you made out with Amanda. I heard everything you said.”
Now it was Cole’s body that went stiff. I opened my eyes and saw that his were shrouded with confusion. Then I saw it click in his mind as he put the pieces together and he remembered.
“I was a dick, Liz. A horny dick, who only had one thing on his mind. I didn’t mean anythin
g I said. I’ve never considered you my sister. Never. Not for one second. It was just easier to pretend I did, so it wasn’t so hard to keep my hands off of you.” His voice was firm and sincere. Still, the pain of hearing him say those words had been with me for so long it was hard to let it go just like that.
I bit my lip. “Did you—”
“No,” Cole interrupted me, his arms around me giving me a small shake. “I didn’t have sex with her. I couldn’t go through with it. All I did was kiss her. I swear.” I nodded, grateful to finally know that nothing more had happened between them. Those thoughts had kept me up at night at that time more than I cared to admit. But I had to explain to him why seeing him with Amanda had been such a big blow, why it had led to me never wanting to sit in my cave again.
“Before that night, I always thought that you were just waiting for me to catch up with you in age, that you were just waiting for me to become legal, that that was the reason why you never made a move on me. But after I saw you with her…in our special spot…after I heard what you said…”
Cole groaned and rested his forehead against mine. “Turns out I’ve been an even bigger jerk to you for all these years than I ever thought possible.” He leaned back and caught my eyes. “Even back then I was in love with you. I’ve always been in love with you, Liz. From the first moment you looked at me with those sad, green eyes, I have been yours. Completely and absolutely. I didn’t think I’d ever be good enough for you. That’s the only reason I never claimed you as mine. The only reason I screwed around. I was young and stupid. So fucking stupid. Causing you all this pain. I promise you, baby, from now on there won’t be any more secrets between us. Ever. I won’t keep anything from you. I will always share my feelings and thoughts with you. You are my first priority. Always. Forever.”