by Lori Foster
She fought the inclination to flee and met his patient gaze. “I don’t want to hide from you.” Her words came out a whisper and she realized she meant it. Reservations be damned.
“Then don’t.” Max pulled the covers back, revealing their bare bodies to the cooler air, then reached over and turned on a bedside lamp. He wanted her trust, wanted no secrets, no clothing, not even darkness between them. Physical intimacy was the only way he knew how to start.
The rest would have to come. They’d already made love once, and when they did again, there’d be no hiding.
For either of them.
He caressed her body with his gaze, following the slender lines and full curves, appreciation and more settling inside him. Then he watched as she did the same. She took in his body, her eyes widening as they traveled from his face, down to the erection he couldn’t hide.
“What do you want from me?” she asked softly, but he had a hunch she already knew because as she spoke, she slid backward, settling into the pillows behind her.
Her black hair fanned across the ivory sheets. His sheets. A primitive urge to possess her, to make her his again—this time forever—took hold. “I want everything, sweetheart. But I’ll take as much as you’re willing to give.”
He inched forward, making his way toward her. Her eyes lit with excitement and desire, diluted by an apprehension only his time and trust could overcome.
She surprised him by extending her arms. “I want to make love to you, Max. Lights on, nothing hidden.”
Her vulnerability hit him hard where it counted most—his heart.
Toni awoke feeling decadent and relaxed after falling asleep without trouble for the first time in ages. Of course her late-night activity could have had something to do with that. So could her … lover.
Lover. She tested the word on her tongue, realizing it was too generic, too detached and indifferent, to describe their encounter. Whatever sexual relationships she’d had in the past, no one had made it past the walls she’d built up since she’d been a child. How could any man have gotten inside her when she’d feared emotional closeness would result in unhealthy dependence? But Max had not only found her heart, she’d willingly let him in.
“Max?” She sat up in bed, realizing she was alone.
Noise from the shower in the bathroom alerted her to his location. She was in Max’s bedroom while he showered for the day. Soon he’d come out—would he wrap a towel around his neck? His waist? Neither? Curling her legs beneath her, she forced deep breaths into her lungs. Whatever sharing a morning together entailed, it couldn’t be any more intimate than the night they’d just spent.
And it wasn’t reason for panic, she told herself, until the waves of anxiety began to ease. The man wasn’t asking her for anything more than she was willing to give, and a nurturing, caring relationship would be a wonderful start to both the holiday season and a brand-new year.
The ringing of the telephone startled her and the answering machine picked up soon after. “Hi, Max.” Toni recognized Stephan’s voice. “Dad tells me you’ll be running the new office. Since Santa’s helper will be your assistant, it won’t be too much of a strain,” he said, a wry sound to his voice. “You owe me one. Later, big brother.”
No sooner had Stephan’s voice clicked off than Toni tossed the covers off, adrenaline flowing fast in her veins. Or maybe she was feeling a full-blown anxiety attack coming on. Was this fate’s version of a joke? Or was she being punished for her descent into the world of the less repressed?
Where were her clothes? She glanced around the room, desperate to find something to put on. She’d finally found a man she could relate to, a man she desired, a man she trusted enough to let down her guard with.
And he’d be her new boss. A man she’d slept with the first night they’d met. A man who was now in control of her job—the symbol of the very independence she cherished. One-night stand or full-blown affair, it didn’t matter. Because office romances never worked out, and when they fell apart, who was the one gone? Not the boss, but the coworker. Office-wrecker.
She’d be out on her ear, no job, no references, no money—her blessed independence shot to hell, all because she’d fallen for the wrong man. “Where are my clothes?” she wailed aloud.
Downstairs. Scattered around the poolroom. She rolled her eyes, realizing her life had taken on surreal proportions. Her gaze fell to a pile of clothes on the chair which obviously substituted for a laundry hamper or a closet. She grabbed a sweatshirt and then turned to the desk and pilfered a sheet of paper.
“Dear Max,” she wrote, feeling as if it were like “Dear John” and hating herself for it. She finished her letter, hoping what she said would be enough to save, if not her job, then at least a letter of recommendation for a position at a new firm. Starting over, Toni thought. Like her mother had each time she’d tried to make a stand and failed.
Her stomach clenching, she bolted for the door without looking back.
CHAPTER FIVE
Max looped a towel around his neck and headed out of the bathroom. He had to be at his parents’ house early but damned if he’d miss one minute of time he could spend with Toni—who, he realized, was nowhere to be found.
Max glanced around but all he saw was a rumpled bed. “Son of a bitch.” He muttered more under his breath.
He didn’t need to look around his small apartment. Every instinct he had and prided himself on told him she was gone. What he didn’t know was why.
He ran a frustrated hand through his hair. Yes he did. He knew exactly why she’d bolted. Fear, pure and simple. Because Max Corbin, ace detective, had made a major miscalculation when dealing with a vulnerable, skittish woman. Despite her calculated seduction, he didn’t kid himself that Toni was anything less than vulnerable. That innocence was what held him in thrall. Her beauty would never fade but her looks weren’t what had caused him to fall so damn hard. It was the whole package.
And Max had blown it. He’d tread lightly when he should have hit harder. He’d kept his feelings to himself, afraid of frightening her after one night. Maybe if he’d let her know he was certain they had long-term written all over them, she’d still be in his bed and not on her way back to New York City.
“Damn.” Curses and regrets were the only things he could manage about now. He walked to the bed they’d shared and lowered himself onto the mattress. The sheets had cooled but his body hadn’t. Not even a cold shower could dull the aching need she inspired.
He glanced at the clock but a folded note blocked his view of the numbers and his stomach plummeted as he read her hastily scrawled words. “Dear Max, Please remember I don’t normally sleep with men I don’t know. And don’t hold last night against me. Toni.”
Confusion mingled with a deep pain in his gut as he realized what she must have felt on waking up alone. Another reason to kick himself in the ass, Max thought. He should have let his family wait, and would have if not for his father’s frail health.
Another choice curse rose to his throat but he stifled it, knowing it would do no good. He just needed to find Toni. He crumpled the note and tossed it to the nightstand, noticing his blinking answering machine for the first time. He wondered who’d called so early and hit play.
Listening to his brother’s message provided not only insight into Toni’s run but another reason to kick himself hard. Only Max would understand the sarcasm in the message and the fact that his brother was giving him a headsup before his meeting with the old man. Only Max and Stephan realized he had no intention of returning to Corbin and Sons. But Toni, to whom he’d admitted his biggest failing and disappointment, might well believe he’d want to make his sick father happy.
She obviously thought she’d slept with her boss. For a woman who needed security as much as other people needed air to breathe, that had to have been one hell of a slap in the face.
Max pulled on his jeans and made his way down to the empty bar. The pool table was just as they’d left it last night,
but Toni had retrieved her clothing. Not a trace of her remained except in Max’s heart.
Max entered his brother’s luxury condo, an apartment opposite in furnishing and feel from Max’s own casual over-the-bar rental.
“So what brings you to my neck of the woods?” Stephan asked, gesturing to a chair in the kitchen.
Max shook his head. He didn’t have time to sit. Still, his brother had asked a fair question since Max couldn’t remember the last time he’d shown up here unannounced. But today was different, just as his relationship with his twin had undergone a subtle shift since last night. Many things had changed since last night, he thought wryly.
Including his priorities. Max had driven into the city, postponing his meeting with his father in favor of finding Toni. Unfortunately, he had no idea where to begin, so he’d landed on his brother’s doorstep first. Swallowing both his pride and his rule against talking about the women he slept with, Max unloaded on his brother. It was the first time in too damn long he’d had a heart-to-heart with his twin. Realizing how much he missed it and seeing the same in Stephan’s face, Max knew the distance had closed.
Distance Max had placed there for no good reason. Just as Toni’s insecurities drove her to succeed and to bolt this morning, Max now knew his own insecurities had driven him from his family. He planned to rectify both his and Toni’s misperceptions—immediately.
Max finished relating last night’s history to his brother.
Stephan nodded, while shaking his head at the same time. “I’m glad to see you screw up every once in a while. Makes the rest of us feel like you’re human, too.”
“Come again?” Max raised an eyebrow. “I screw up more than once in a while. Isn’t that what Dad always says?”
“Dad says it to instill guilt and you buy into it every time. But you always hold your ground and live your life. To me that’s not screwing up, that’s playing it smart. A part of me has always envied that.”
Shock rendered Max mute. For twins, he and his brother had been operating on opposite wavelengths for too long. “You don’t want to be a lawyer?” Max asked.
“I never gave it a thought. It was expected and I followed through. Now it’s all I know and I can’t imagine doing anything else. But sometimes I wonder ‘what if.’ ” He shrugged. “Then I take a look at how following a different road has kept you far from the family and I figure I’ll accept my life as it is. But in case you’re wondering, distancing yourself is the only screwup I think you’ve made.” His brother let out a wry laugh. “Until now.”
“Now meaning Toni.” Just saying her name caused the twisting in Max’s gut to return. He had the rest of his life to process his brother’s admission and make things right. He had too little time to catch Toni and explain before she withdrew for good. “I need her address.”
“There’s no point.” Stephan pushed off the wall and headed for the mugs in the cabinet. “Coffee?”
“No, thanks, and why the hell not?”
“She’s not at home. I stopped by the office to pick up a file and she was there sorting through boxes.” Stephan laughed. “Damn but you need to calm down.”
“After I talk to her.”
His brother eyed him in surprise. “This is a hell of a lot more than a one-night stand, isn’t it?”
Max clenched and unclenched his fists. “It’d better be or I’m looking at a lousy Christmas and a miserable New Year.”
“Well, I’ll be damned. I wonder what I missed in her.”
“Too late for you to find out now,” Max said in warning, turned and started for the door before spinning back to face his brother. “Hey, Stephan, I owe you one for the headsup on what the old man wanted.”
His twin shrugged. “I figured since you showed up last night, it was the least I could do.”
Max laughed. Showing up had brought Toni into his life. “Then it looks like I owe you double. See ya later.” Max opened the door and stepped into the hall.
“Don’t think for one minute that I won’t cash in,” Stephan called as Max slammed the door shut behind him.
Toni needed to keep busy or else she’d think and she could not afford to think. Not about last night and how much she’d enjoyed herself, not about Max and how much she’d grown to like and care for him, and certainly not about the fact that she’d slept with her new boss. What irony. After years of avoiding the situation with Stephan, she’d stepped right into it with his twin.
She let out a slow breath of air. Okay, apparently she couldn’t avoid thinking but maybe she could drown out the sound of her own thoughts. She flipped on the radio in her near empty office. As expected, Christmas music filled the air. She tried humming and when that didn’t work she sealed the last box, while singing out loud, but no way could she escape the fact that she’d fallen in love with Max Corbin.
Fallen in love. She shook her head, unable to believe the truth. She was a woman who hadn’t grown up watching a loving relationship and who’d never once deluded herself that happily ever after was in her future. Yet in one meeting, over the course of one night—one glorious night—she’d fallen in love. And all the security she’d worked for, all the independence she’d strived for, now hung in the balance.
Her heart beat out a rapid cadence, panic and other undefinable emotions parading inside her while the music mocked her thoughts. No merry Christmas, no happy new year for her this year. She closed her eyes, singing the final verse along with the song. “We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas … and you’re out on your ear.” Toni added her own ending to the well-known tune.
“Is that really what you think of me?”
Startled, Toni whirled around to find herself face-to-face with Max. Leaning against her doorframe, he was the epitome of her fantasy come to life. And to think, she hadn’t known she had any. “Hello, Max.”
He inclined his head. “Toni.”
She attempted to swallow but her mouth was too dry. “What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to get a few things straight.” He walked into her office, making the small area even smaller by virtue of his overwhelming presence.
She grasped the cardboard edges of the box. “I can tender my resignation if it would make things easier.” She spoke without meeting his gaze.
She heard him exhale hard. “Again, is that what you think of me? Do you really believe I’d have taken you home and made love to you, knowing I was your boss, and then demanded your job the next day?”
Toni wondered if she imagined the hurt in his voice. She shook her head. “Truthfully, I haven’t thought things through.”
“No, you’re just feeling, aren’t you?” His voice softened. “Acting on instinct and fear.”
“What do you expect, Max? I woke up to find out I had slept with my soon-to-be-boss. Whose job is on the line now? Yours or mine?”
“No one’s, I hope.” He eased himself onto the edge of her desk, too close for her peace of mind.
So close she could inhale his masculine scent and arousal hit her all over again, but he wasn’t asking permission and she wasn’t in a position to argue. “So you’re suggesting we put last night behind us and work together?” She tried to laugh but the sound was harsh and she didn’t mean it anyway.
If he could work side by side with her, after what they’d shared, she’d misjudged him. Yet even before she met his serious and compelling gaze, she knew better. How could she not? She’d accepted him into her body, felt him hard and hot inside her, giving as much as he got in return.
Then there were the emotional revelations, Toni thought. Men didn’t open up and share unless they cared. But she was still at a loss.
“I’m not suggesting we work together, either. I told you last night I do my own thing. And yes, my father’s disappointed, and no, he’s not finished trying to convince me to return. But he’s been unsuccessful in the past and he’ll continue to be unsuccessful in the future. Law isn’t what I want. I a
m not going to be your boss.”
She glanced down and saw her hands were shaking. “But Stephan said …”
“Stephan was giving me advance warning about what to expect at my meeting with Dad. You heard what Dad wants, not what will be.” He touched her cheek, his hand strong and gentle. “But that’s not the real issue, is it?”
She forced herself to meet his gaze. “If you know so much, then tell me what is.”
“I’m not your boss. I’m just a man who’s desperately in love with you. So the issue is, are you going to run from your feelings because of your past? Or are you going to stay and face them … and give us a chance?”
In that instant, Toni’s past and present flashed in front of her eyes, a kaleidoscope of memories, some good, some bad, some satisfying, but way too many lonely ones. Lonely by choice not necessity, she thought. Last night she’d chosen Max and last night she hadn’t felt alone or isolated.
She was a woman who’d always prided herself on her ability to stand on her own two feet, yet she wanted nothing more than to throw herself into his arms.
“So what are you waiting for?” he asked.
She blinked, refocusing on her surroundings. On Max. “Did I speak out loud?”
He watched her intently. “No, I’m just a mind reader.”
Her mind was jumbled, her heart racing, and his earlier words came back to her. “What did you say?”
“I’m just a mind reader.”
“Before that.”
“I’m not your boss,” he said.
“In between those two things.”
“I’m a man desperately in love with you?” He grinned.
His devastating smile nearly knocked her off her feet and a sparkle twinkled in his blue eyes. A weight she hadn’t been aware of carrying her whole life eased and lifted inside her.
She could run and hide or give the future a chance. No contest, Toni thought, a smile pulling at her lips.