by Lori Foster
But he knew his brother well enough to know that Virgil never wanted this, a family of his own, a son.
It all made Ben think that things happened for a reason. That Dash was supposed to be in his life.
“Hi,” Dash said, shaking Ben from his thoughts.
“I’m staring at you again. I know. I can’t help it.” He brushed his hand over Dash’s soft hair. “I’ve become that creepy uncle. I’d much rather be your overprotective father. But what should I do about your mother?”
Dash gurgled something at him and then threw himself back on the bed and began to have a conversation with the ceiling. Ben lay next to him, holding his little hand as he let his thoughts overtake him.
Being with her at the tree lighting, seeing her happiness that night, had caused him to come to a realization. He didn’t want Dina to stay. It had gone way past that point. He needed her to stay. To fill up his days. To make him feel things again. If she left he couldn’t go back to the way things were. He would feel empty. He would miss his family.
“Is he sleepy yet?” Dina walked in. Her hair was loose around her shoulders. She wore a short pink nightgown, her longs legs bare and soft looking. He watched her walk closer, her hips swaying slightly as she did. He wondered if she had any idea what he really thought about her. If she had any idea what she did to him every time she walked into a room.
“I’m afraid not. He hasn’t stopped talking since you left. I’m afraid the boy is a blabbermouth just like his mother.”
“Hey!” She climbed onto Ben’s bed, her nightgown rising up, giving him a glimpse of her supersoft-looking thighs. “I’m not a blabbermouth. I just have a very highly developed vocabulary. I scored very high on that part of my SATs. I bombed the math part, though. Bombed it. With a capital B. I was surprised that I got into any college at all. But then again, when both your parents teach at the university it’s really hard for them to deny you. I wonder how many favors they had to pull to get me in there. I bet you my mother had to turn tricks just so they would pass me. Getting Dumb Dina through college must have taken a lot of them. No wonder they were so relieved when my sister got into two Ivy League schools.”
“You see, son,” Ben said to Dash. “She can’t help herself.” He looked up at her. “You’re not dumb. You’re just hyper.”
“A little,” she conceded. She climbed under his covers, lifting Dash up to snuggle with him. “Get in here with us, Daddy.”
He undressed, slipped into his sleep pants and settled in beside them. Even if he wanted to stay away from her, he couldn’t resist her pull tonight. He wanted to be near her and near Dash and nothing was going to change that.
“I feel like this night should end with something special,” she said. “Like we should watch It’s a Wonderful Life. Or … I don’t know. How did you end this night when you were a kid?”
“We fell asleep on the floor in front of the fireplace.” He lifted his hand to her cheek. “You want to do that?”
“Would you?”
“If you wanted to.”
“You’re insane, you know.”
“I know. I normally would wait seven days before I let a strange woman and child into my bed.”
She grinned at him. “I always was fast.”
They grinned at each other for a moment before Dina returned her attention to Dash. “I think he’s finally settling down.”
“He should be. It’s been a long day.” Ben could see the sleepiness in her eyes too. He knew how hard she had worked to make the house look and feel like Christmas. “For you too, Mommy. The house looks beautiful.”
“You don’t think I went overboard? It looks like Christmas threw up in here.”
He shook his head. “Sometimes overboard is just enough.”
They fell quiet then, the day finally catching up with them. Dina’s eyes fluttered closed first and then Dash’s. Ben watched them sleep for a little while. Dash looked so much like a Rowe, but Ben could see Dina in him too. His forehead, the shape of his nose. The way he slept with his hand nestled against his cheek.
Ben lifted Dash away from his sleeping mother and put the boy to bed in the nursery. Dina didn’t wake then, nor did she when Ben returned to his bed and settled beside her. She moved closer to him in her sleep, pressing her warm, soft body against his, curling her arm around his chest like it was the most natural thing in the world.
In the back of his mind he thought about waking her up, about sending her to her own room, about sleeping alone, but he knew he couldn’t do that. He couldn’t send her away. So he gathered her closer.
She woke up then and blinked at him. “I dreamed I was in bed with a very sexy man. How disappointing to find you here.”
He grinned at her smart-ass remark, noting that she didn’t move away from him. If anything she got closer.
“I guess I should head to my own bed now.”
“Or”—he sat up, pulling her along with him—“you could stay here.”
He pulled her nightgown off over her head. She was nude underneath, no underwear in sight. He pushed her back on the bed, pulling the blankets away from her so that he could look at her body. He couldn’t take his eyes away from her. Smooth skin, soft belly, a body made up of nothing but curves. His mouth watered. His erection strained against his pants and for a moment he was paralyzed, because it was almost too much for him.
He bent and pressed a kiss to her stomach. She trembled, looking up at him with wide eyes. “Are you okay with this, Dina?”
“What? Being made love to by a man who turns me on just by talking? Yup.” She nodded. “I think I’m okay with that.”
“Good.” He knelt between her legs, wrapping each long limb around his waist. He smoothed his hands over her hips and groaned. She felt like a woman should feel, like a culmination of all his teenaged fantasies and adult dirty dreams.
“You really like this?” she asked, surprised.
“What? Sex? It may have been a while since I’ve attempted it, but I like sex very much.”
“The way I look. I’m not the same girl I used to be.”
“I’m supremely glad you’re not the same girl you used to be. I like your weight. I like your curves. I want to eat you like an apple.”
“Oh?”
He slid his hands up her torso, lightly cupping her breasts in his hands. She moaned a little, and when he brushed his fingertips over her nipples she arched her body towards him. “I don’t know where to start with you. Every bit looks good.”
“You could kiss me.”
“Where?” He pressed his lips to the undersides of her breasts. “Here?” He took her nipple into his mouth, enjoying the gasp of pleasure she made as he suckled. “Is that where you wanted to be kissed?”
He shifted himself so he could lift her long leg. He kissed the sole of her foot and then her ankle. He brushed his lips over her calf and the sensitive space behind her knee. He pressed his face to the inside of her thigh, smelling her sweet smell, wanting to taste her, but she stopped him.
“Is it my turn yet?” She reached for him, pulling his hard body on top of hers, rubbing her naked chest against his. “I need to kiss you.” But instead of connecting her mouth to his she kissed his Adam’s apple, and the seam of his jaw. She kissed his nose and eyelids and cheeks. He had never been kissed like this before. All over. With such sweetness. He never thought he wanted to be kissed like this, but now that he experienced it he knew he couldn’t go back to living his life without it. He had been feeling that way a lot when it came to her.
“You’re just what I needed, Benjamin Rowe.” She slid her lips to his and kissed him. And it all became too much. Her taste, her smell, the way she made him feel, what she did to his heart.
“Dina,” he whispered. He felt frantic, the need to be with her, inside her, overwhelmed him and he shook, his hands, his body. She seemed to realize this and hooked her fingers into his pants, pulling them down as she pulled herself closer to him. But he couldn’t wait; as soon as he
was free he pushed into her slow and hard. She cried out and dug her fingers into his back and wrapped herself around him so tightly he didn’t think she was ever going to let go. And he didn’t want her to. For the first time in a very long time. He was exactly where he wanted to be.
* * *
Dina woke up the next morning with her limbs tangled with Ben’s. Their chests were pressed together; his hand was buried in her hair; their lips were inches apart. She had never slept like this before, completely wrapped up in another person, but she liked it. She liked it because she was wrapped up in Ben. There was nobody else she had felt this close to.
“Stop staring at me,” he said in a rough, sleepy voice. “It’s creeping me out.” She smiled at him as he leaned closer and sealed his lips to hers. “Your smile,” he said into her mouth. “It looks so good I could eat it.”
“Now who’s being creepy?”
He rolled her on her back, covering her body with his. He was ready to make love again. She could feel him against her leg, but he made no move. He just cupped her face in his hands and smiled down at her. “You bring it out in me.”
She reached up and ran her fingers through his dark hair, needing to feel that much closer to him. “How are you this morning?”
“A beautiful woman let me make love to her for hours last night.” He shrugged. “All in all it was a normal Friday night for me.”
“Oh, lord.” She rolled her eyes. “You sound like Virgil when you say shit like that.”
He froze at the mention of his brother’s name. She hadn’t meant to bring him up, especially now, but his name had slipped from her lips.
“Did you love him?”
“No.” She shook her head. “I feel guilty about it sometimes. He gave me Dash, I should love him, but it wasn’t like that. Who knew I would end up in bed with his brother?”
He didn’t say anything at first, just buried his nose in her neck.
“Ben?”
“Hmm?”
“Will you tell me about her?”
“Who?” He lifted his head to look in her eyes.
“Your wife. I want to know about Karen.”
He rolled away from her onto his back. She felt him go rigid again, but this time he wouldn’t look at her and she knew she had hit a nerve.
“I don’t want to talk about this now.”
“Why not? She’s part of your life and now so am I. I think I should know about her.”
He shook his head, continuing to stare up at the ceiling. And she realized that maybe she wasn’t going to be a part of his life like she thought, like she had hoped. He wanted her only for her son. He would never fully let her in.
“She had cancer. Cervical cancer. She knew she was sick. She knew she was dying, but she never said a word to me. I didn’t find out until after she died. Is that enough to satisfy your curiosity?”
“Yeah. Thanks for sharing.” She got out of bed, finding her discarded nightgown on the floor before she walked out.
Chapter 10
It’s That Time of Year When the World Falls in Love …
“Have you seen Dina?” Ben asked Dovie after fifteen minutes of searching the house. He hadn’t seen a sign of her or Dash since he dragged himself out of bed over two hours ago.
Dovie looked up from the tiny blanket she was just starting to quilt. “You did something, Ben.”
“Did I?”
“The girl hasn’t said a word all day, and since she usually is unable to stop talking there must be something wrong with her. And since the two of you spent all night and half the morning in your bedroom I think you might be the cause of her silence.”
“Shit.”
Dovie raised one of her white brows at him, but he didn’t apologize. He knew his silence this morning bothered Dina, but he couldn’t talk to her about Karen. He felt guilty. The wife he sworn he would be devoted to slipped out of his mind when he was with Dina, and so did the heavy sorrow that came along with every thought of Karen. He didn’t think about her once last night.
She had been gone nine years and in that time there had been other women around him. The opportunity for him to move on had passed him half a dozen times, but he never did. He never thought he could. But now was the time. He could finally do it with Dina. If he could only convince her.
“Where is she?”
“She took Dash and headed out the door fifteen minutes ago.”
“She left?” Panic rose inside him. “But her things are here. Did she take a cab? Why didn’t you find me?”
“I didn’t say she left. I said she went outside. Is there something you want to tell me about you and Miss Dina?”
“Only that I want her to stay.”
He left Dovie then and headed outside to find his family.
He found them in the back of the house, in the formal gardens where the dahlias grew in the summertime. Dash was bundled in his down coat, snowsuit, boots and hat. Ben could barely see Dash’s little face, he was so covered, but he couldn’t help but notice what the boy was sitting on. A wooden toboggan that Dina found in the attic. It used to be Ben’s. But he hadn’t been sledding since … since … He couldn’t remember.
“There’s my boy!” He lifted Dash off the toboggan and tossed him into the air, causing Dash to giggle. “There’s a really great hill for sledding just beyond those trees back there.” He grabbed the sled and took off towards the hill. “When you get older I’ll take you up to Flagman’s Slope. That’s where all the daredevils go when they want to have a little more fun.”
“Ben?” He heard Dina’s footsteps crunching in the snow behind him, but he didn’t acknowledge her. He saw her when he first walked up, bundled up just like her son, only she was wearing Ben’s scarf and hat. His scarf that she said smelled like him. His hat when he knew she had her own. It told him something about Dina Gregory. It told him that there was a chance for them despite the tiny bit of hurt he noticed in her eyes.
“Ben, where the hell are you taking my baby?”
“For a little ride.”
“On that thing?” She caught up to Ben as they approached the hill. “Down that hill? No freaking way.”
He looked back at her for a moment. She looked alarmed, but the hill wasn’t as steep as it looked. He used to go down with Virgil when he was just a little older than Dash.
“Ben, don’t you dare.”
He sat on the toboggan, Dash snugly tucked in his lap, and pushed off. It was just like Ben remembered, maybe a little less thrilling than it was when he was a small boy, but the wind on his face, the feeling of freedom, the warmth of holding a smaller body against him as they flew down the hill, was the same.
“You bastard!”
He hadn’t seen Dina rushing down the hill after them until they were nearly at the bottom. But Dash was laughing and clapping and bouncing in his lap. “Did you have fun, little man? You want to do it again? I’ll take you if your mother lets me live.”
Dina’s scream snapped his attention back to her, only she wasn’t on her feet anymore. She was tumbling down the hill. He set Dash in the snow and was on his feet just as she came to a stop.
“Dina?” He stood over her. Her eyes were closed. She lay still in the snow. “Dina?” He knelt in the snow, his face hovering over hers. “Honey, are you hurt? Dina, open your eyes. I’ll never forgive myself if something happens to you.”
“You should have thought about that before you took my baby down this death hill,” she said as she smashed a fistful of snow in his face.
“Holy shit.” He recoiled as the icy snow touched his skin, but she didn’t stop her assault. She was on her feet pelting him with snowballs faster than he could recover. “Stop it, devil woman.”
“No.” She pegged him right in the forehead. “You scared the shit out of me. You took years off my life.”
“Look at him. He’s fine. He’s happy.”
“Only by the grace of God.” She pelted him with two more snowballs in rapid succession.
“What are you? Some kind of snow ninja?” He launched himself at her, knocking her off her feet, pinning her hands to the ground. “I would never do anything to hurt him. I love him.”
“I know!” Her eyes watered. “I just got so scared.”
“My poor baby.” He cupped her face in his hands and gently kissed her. “My poor worrywart crybaby.” He kissed her again only longer this time.
“Your stupid face is cold.”
“Whose fault is that?” He rubbed his numb cheeks against her soft skin. “Even though I’m fairly sure my nose is going to fall off, I have to compliment you on your skills. You are an excellent snowball thrower.”
“Thank you.” She smiled at him. “I was really on my game today.”
“Forgive me.” He kissed the corner of her still-smiling mouth.
“Okay.”
“And for this morning too.” He kissed the other side of her mouth.
She blinked up at him, a little bit of her hurt returning.
“Please,” he said, kissing her mouth again. “I couldn’t talk about her this morning when I was with you like we were. It’s hard for me to think about my past and my future all in the same moment. Does that make sense to you?”
She searched his face for a moment, looking for truth. “I think so.”
“So say you’ll forgive me.”
He pressed his lips to her cold cheek and she shut her eyes. He felt her body go slack beneath him and he realized that spending the rest of his life with this sweet, soft girl was much more alluring than anything else.
“I’ll forgive you, but only if you take me to get my Christmas trees.”