by Dilly Court
‘I don’t like to leave you.’
‘I’ll be fine. The boys seem to realise that I need a bit of help now and again. They’ve been very good since I was took sick, especially Joe.’
Essie reached out to hold Leah’s hand. ‘You deserve to be treated well, Leah. I don’t know how I would have managed here without your help.’
‘It’s been a pleasure, love. If I’d been blessed with a daughter I’d have wanted her to be just like you.’
Essie gulped and swallowed. Tears were only a blink away since Beasley’s death, but with an effort she managed a smile. ‘Thank you. That means a lot to me.’
‘And don’t fret about the creeping man. He’s gone to a better place than this.’
‘You know about poor Beasley?’
‘It’s all round the camp, Essie. They caught the men who attacked him. There’s a sort of rough justice amongst the miners – they’re not all brutes and bad men.’
Essie raised herself and leaned over to kiss Leah’s leathery cheek. ‘I’ll try to remember only the good things when I get home, but I will miss you.’
‘And I’ll miss you, too.’ Leah squeezed Essie’s fingers with an encouragingly strong grip. ‘Get along with you now, or you’ll have me crying me eyes out. Take care of yourself, Essie, and have a good life back in England.’
Parting from Freddie next day was just as painful, if not more so. Essie’s cheeks were wet with tears as she rode away with all her worldly goods, including the gold nuggets, wrapped in her bedroll. Raven rode on ahead with Alice close behind and Essie and Sadie bringing up the rear. It was the middle of spring and the temperature was rising steadily, but it was not yet hot enough to make the journey uncomfortable. They camped at night, as they had done when they travelled to Ballarat, and Essie was surprised to find how quickly the time passed compared to their outward journey. Then they had been travelling into the unknown, but now they were returning to what had become familiar. The prospect of many weeks at sea being tossed about in the confines of Falco’s screw steamer was not exciting, but at least she did not suffer from seasickness, unlike Alice, who was openly dreading the voyage. Sadie seemed to have forgotten that she too had suffered on the outward voyage, and she was looking forward to seeing London again, although she admitted to being nervous about returning to her old way of life.
They were waiting on the jetty for the lighter to arrive and take them out to the Santa Gabriella at her moorings. Alice had changed into the gown that Essie had made for her on board ship, and had insisted on wearing her one and only straw bonnet. ‘I am not boarding the ship looking like a drudge from the mining camp.’
There had been no point arguing, although Essie and Sadie still wore their simple cotton frocks and sun bonnets, but Alice was rapidly becoming Lady Alice, and Essie was afraid that, once aboard ship, they would slip back into the old ways.
‘I don’t know how I’ll get on in the big house,’ Sadie whispered. ‘Her ladyship will forget how we’ve been in camp when we was all equals, but the servants in London will want to know everything. They won’t half tease me.’
Essie gave Sadie’s small hand a squeeze. ‘I wouldn’t worry about that just now, but I think we’re all going to find it difficult to fit in again. I know I’m not the same person I was when we left London. Being here has changed me for ever.’
‘You won’t abandon me, will you, Essie?’ Sadie gazed at her with anxious eyes.
‘Never. We’re sisters, aren’t we? I won’t allow anyone to bully you.’
‘Do stop nattering, you two,’ Alice said crossly. ‘And don’t raise the child’s hopes, Essie. Life will go on as it did before when we reach London. It will be hard for all of us, even me.’
Raven raised his hand, beckoning to the lighterman who was bringing his craft towards the jetty. ‘I see that Falco himself has come to greet you, Alice. That’s good; it saves me from an added journey. I need to speak to him before you set sail.’
Alice turned to him with a bright smile. ‘I’m not going to thank you for arranging our passage home, because we should never have been here in the first place, but I will miss you, Raven. And as soon as I get back to London I’ll contact Gilfoyle to find out how things are going with the appeal. I hope to have good news for you before too long.’
Raven leaned over to plant a kiss on her cheek. ‘I fully expect to work out my sentence, Alice. It’s Freddie who concerns me. He’s been in exile long enough for what was a youthful folly.’
‘A mistake that is costing you seven years of your life, cousin.’ Alice shielded her eyes against the sun, looking down at the sparkling water and the approaching lighter. ‘I wish you and Freddie could come with us.’
‘As do I, but it’s not to be, and, you never know, we might strike gold again.’ He turned away to greet Falco, who had just climbed onto the jetty. They embraced like old friends and were soon deep in conversation.
‘Why do men treat us like children?’ Alice said crossly. ‘I’m sure we have just as much intellect as they do, and yet we aren’t allowed to participate in matters that concern us.’
‘Maybe it’s not about you or me.’ Essie brushed the hair from her eyes as the wind freshened and tugged playfully at her bonnet strings. ‘It’s probably about money.’
‘Raven is paying for our passage home whether he likes it or not.’ Alice glared at him, but if he was aware of her mood he took no notice and continued his conversation with Falco. She stamped her foot. ‘Raven, we’re getting cold standing here. It’s time we went on board.’
Falco came towards them, with an apologetic smile. ‘It thrills my heart to see you again, most beautiful lady.’
Essie was amused to see Alice’s expression change. She held out her hand to Falco, smiling and blushing. ‘It seems that we will be together for the next few weeks, Captain.’
‘An honour, my lady.’ Falco bowed over her hand, raising it to his lips.
‘I know I can trust you with my ladies,’ Raven said casually. ‘Take good care of them, Falco, and I’ll see you when you return.’
‘I will guard them with my life.’ Falco struck a dramatic pose.
At any other time Essie would have found his antics funny, but her gaze was fixed on Raven. He glanced at her and then turned away to embrace Alice. ‘I’ll see you in two years’ time, my dear. Look after Starcross Abbey for me.’
‘I will, don’t worry.’ Alice laid her hand on Falco’s arm. ‘Goodbye, Raven.’
Essie held her breath, waiting for him to acknowledge her. The least he could do would be to wish her a safe journey, but Raven turned on his heel and strode back along the jetty. It was not the happiest of partings and her spirits felt heavier than the gold nuggets she had carried all the way from Ballarat. She was a wealthy woman, but as she climbed down the ladder and was helped into the lighter, she knew that she had lost something that she might never get back. She was going home, but she had left a small sliver of her heart in Australia.
That evening, they were seated around the small table in the saloon after supper, which was better than Essie had expected, when Falco produced his mandolin and began to sing. In the past Essie had thought his sudden bursts of song were amusing rather than touching, but there was something sad and yet beautiful in the melody. Even though he sang in his native language, the emotion in his voice transcended the need for words. Essie was deeply moved and Sadie sat with her elbow on the table and her chin cupped in her hands, eyes closed as she swayed in time to the music. But Alice sipped her coffee, apparently devoid of emotion, and when the song ended she patted Falco on the shoulder.
‘That was very nice, Captain. Now could we have something a little livelier? I think we could do with cheering up.’
Falco leaned towards her, his brow puckered in a frown. ‘You are sad, my lady?’
She shook her head. ‘Not really, but I’ve just left my cousins to fend for themselves. I don’t know how they’ll get along without me to look after them.’
Essie and Sadie exchanged meaningful glances. Alice had exerted herself very little during their stay in Ballarat, although she had made an attempt to wash her own clothes and had occasionally picked up the broom to sweep the floor. For someone brought up to a life of ease and luxury this was a huge concession, and Essie had a sneaking admiration for her.
As if sensing their amused reactions, Alice turned on them, frowning. ‘Isn’t it time you were in your bunk, Sadie?’
Essie rose to her feet. ‘I think I’ll turn in, too. It’s been a long day and I’m tired.’
‘Good night,’ Sadie said meekly as she followed Essie from the saloon. Out of earshot she subsided into giggles. ‘I think the captain loves Lady Alice.’
‘It’s going to be an interesting trip,’ Essie said, trying not to laugh. ‘I think Alice likes him, too. Although she’d never admit to such a weakness. She likes to be independent.’
‘She can afford such a luxury.’ Sadie pursed her lips, scowling. ‘It don’t seem fair that some have lots of money and others have none.’
Essie thought of the gold nugget that Beasley had given his life to protect. If they arrived home in one piece she would make certain that the money it raised was put to good use. ‘Come along, Sadie. Let’s get settled for the night. You can have the bunk, but tomorrow it will be my turn.’
The Santa Gabriella took the Great Circle route that was followed by the clipper ships, crossing the Pacific and rounding Cape Horn, in order to take advantage of the prevailing winds. Falco explained this in great detail although Alice was only interested in how quickly they would reach home.
The next few weeks were uneventful and the weather reasonably good. There were squalls and high winds, but the Pacific Ocean was relatively calm. They developed a daily routine that involved going to great lengths to preserve personal hygiene. Fresh water was strictly rationed and washing in sea water did nothing for the skin and hair. Clothes came out clean but stiff with salt and scratchy on the skin, but anything was better than being dirty. Essie’s experience of fleas and lice was enough to make her grateful for simple cleanliness. Falco did his best to keep his passengers entertained, although Essie knew that his efforts were mainly directed at Alice, who seemed impervious to his charms, although she was not above flirting with him when the mood took her. The crew were mostly the same as on the outward voyage, with the exception of Hooper, who had married his sweetheart and set up home in Sydney. Without him to act as interpreter it was difficult to make herself understood, but Essie set about learning as much Italian as she could, and by the time they rounded Cape Horn she was able to converse in simple sentences. Falco encouraged her in this, but his attempts to teach Alice were met with a marked lack of interest.
Christmas was spent at sea and they exchanged small gifts. Alice gave Sadie and Essie a bar of scented soap each, which was a huge sacrifice as these were the last of the store that Essie had purchased in Gibraltar. Essie had made hankies from scraps of material left from her dressmaking efforts, which Falco had stowed in a locker and apparently forgotten. She made one for Falco, too, but he decided to wear it as a bandana and sang them a comic song with it tied around his head, pirate fashion. His gift to Alice was a pearl necklace, which he had apparently bought during one of his trips to the South Seas, although Essie suspected that he had gone to great lengths to purchase it with Lady Alice in mind. His gift for Essie was a single pearl, shaped like a teardrop, and he gave Sadie several bars of white sweetmeat scented with orange and honey, and studded with almonds, which he said was an Italian favourite called Torrone. At dinner that evening the cook produced a dish of pasta in a spicy sauce, sprinkled with parmesan cheese, and Falco opened a bottle of his favourite wine, which they shared equally, although Sadie’s was topped up with water. Even so, it went straight to her head and when she had finished eating she climbed onto the bench and sang a few carols in a sweet, clear soprano.
The memory of Christmases at home brought tears to Essie’s eyes. George had made sure she had at least one present to open on Christmas morning. She still had the wooden doll with articulated arms and a painted face that he had carved in secret. Pa had never been particularly generous, even on birthdays, but at Christmas he always made a bowl of rum punch, which he invited Miss Flower, Josser and Ben to share. When he was flush with money, which did not happen very often, he would treat her to a pie and eel supper.
‘Put her to bed before she falls down and does herself some harm.’ Alice’s sharp words interrupted Essie’s reverie and she stood up, holding out her arms to catch Sadie before she tumbled to the deck. ‘That was lovely, Sadie,’ she said, giving her a hug. ‘Very Christmassy.’
Falco clapped his hands. ‘I see I have a rival. We will sing a duet tomorrow, mia cara.’
Sadie gave him a tipsy smile as she flung her arms around Essie. ‘Merry Christmas, Essie. I love you.’
‘And I love you, too.’ Essie led her from the saloon, supporting her faltering footsteps.
‘Next Christmas I’ll buy you a lovely present,’ Sadie said, hiccuping. ‘A big beautiful something or other.’
‘That will be nice.’ Essie opened the cabin door and guided Sadie to the bunk. ‘Sit down, dear, and I’ll take your boots off.’
‘But it’s your turn for the bunk, Essie.’
‘It’s Christmas, Sadie. You can have the bunk.’
Sadie collapsed onto the bed. ‘I wonder where we’ll be this time next year.’
‘Who knows?’ Essie undid the laces on Sadie’s boots and made her comfortable. The sound of her even breathing confirmed that she was asleep even before Essie had left the cabin, but instead of returning to the saloon, where she could hear Falco singing his heart out, Essie braved the weather on deck. It was cold and clear, and the sea and sky seemed to merge into one huge cavern of darkness. A brisk wind whipped her cheeks and tossed her hair into a mass of salty curls, but she took deep breaths and scanned the sky for the North Star, which Falco said would guide them home. Ragged clouds scudded across the moon, obliterating its light, but there were clear patches where stars sparkled like diamonds against a black velvet gown. She was on her way home, but part of her longed to be back in Ballarat with Raven. ‘Merry Christmas, Raven,’ she said out loud. But Sadie’s words echoed in her head. Where would they be this time next year? The future had never looked brighter, and yet Essie’s heart was aching with loneliness.
Chapter Thirteen
Essie had expected the Santa Gabriella to dock in London, or at least to anchor in Limehouse Reach, but Falco, it seemed, had other ideas. She awakened one cold January morning to find the ship bobbing gently on its moorings, and when she looked out of the porthole she saw red cliffs at the mouth of what appeared to be a wide estuary. She dressed quickly and went to find him.
He was in the saloon drinking coffee and he greeted her with a wide smile. ‘You are back in England.’
‘But where are we? This isn’t the Thames.’
‘No, it is not.’
‘Then where is this? Why aren’t we in London?’
‘Lady Alice wanted to go home first.’
‘I don’t know where she lives.’
Falco shrugged. ‘Neither do I, mia cara. No doubt she will tell us in her own good time.’
‘I’ll soon find out.’ Essie left him and went to rap on Alice’s door. She entered without waiting for an answer.
Alice opened her eyes, staring blankly at Essie. ‘What’s the matter?’
‘Where are you taking us?’ Essie demanded crossly. ‘Don’t you think you should have consulted me?’
‘Go away, Essie. Can’t you see that I’m still half asleep? I’m not going to argue with you when I’m in my nightgown.’
Essie folded her arms across her chest, glaring at Alice. ‘I’m not moving until you tell me where we are.’
‘Oh, all right,’ Alice sat up, yawning and stretching as if to make a point. ‘It’s the Exe estuary. We’ll go ashore here and it’s only a mi
le or two to Daumerle.’
‘Daumerle?’ Essie was intrigued. ‘What and where is that?’
‘It’s the ancestral home of the Croziers,’ Alice said, flinging back the coverlet. ‘I need to rest and make myself presentable before I return to London. I can’t be seen looking like a gypsy.’
‘But I want to go home. My pa probably thinks I’m dead.’
‘I’m not stopping you,’ Alice said carelessly. ‘This isn’t the back of beyond – we’re connected by the railway nowadays, so you can travel by the train. I’ll pay your fare and Sadie’s, but I suggest you take a look at yourself in the mirror before you make any rash decisions. If you turn up looking like that your father will probably toss you out on the street.’
Essie glanced down at her patched and stained gown, and her hand flew automatically to pat her tousled hair into place. It felt sticky with salt and brittle to the touch. ‘All right,’ she conceded. ‘Just a few days, if you’ll be good enough to let us stay with you.’
‘After everything we’ve been through together, it’s the least I can do. And I need to visit Starcross Abbey to make sure that the servants are continuing to do their job while Raven is away. I’ve kept an eye on the place for the past five years so they know exactly what’s expected of them.’ Alice met Essie’s gaze with a wry smile. ‘Anyway, I’m sure you’d like to see where he was born and raised. You two were quite close at one point, I think.’
Essie turned away to hide her blushes. ‘He barely noticed that I was alive.’
‘Nonsense. A woman always knows if a man is interested in her, and it was obvious that he had a soft spot for you. I know my cousin so well.’ Alice rose to her feet. ‘Although, of course, nothing could come of it. Anyway, never mind him. We’re here now and I can’t wait to have my own clothes and a proper bath and all the comforts of home. You and Sadie will be my guests. There’s no question of either you or the child being treated like servants.’