by TJ Klune
“Yes.”
“Who you apparently knew about.”
Goddammit. I should have known this was going to bite me in the ass. I opened my eyes again and turned my head. Mark stood near the window to his room, silhouetted against the dim light coming in. Frost covered the glass. Outside, snow still fell in fat flakes. His eyes glittered in the shadows. A thought struck me, harsh and biting. “I wasn’t—I didn’t know about Michelle. I didn’t know about Pappas. Elijah. I’m not my father. Mark, you gotta believe me. I’m not my—”
“I know. We know. Joe… wasn’t happy. But Elizabeth got through to him, I think. Aside from her, and you and me, no one else knew about Elijah. What she was capable of. But she told the others. About what happened last time.”
I pushed myself up to a sitting position with a groan. I was shirtless, my skin pebbling in the cool air in the room. Someone had gotten me out of my clothes and into a pair of sweats while I’d been unconscious. I had a good idea who it was. “The guys?”
Mark tilted his head slightly. “Bruised. A little bloodied. But nothing serious. They got patched up. They were very lucky. All of you were.”
I popped my neck, stretching the stiff muscles. “And the hunters?”
“Haven’t approached the house. They’re staying away. For now.”
“Of course they are,” I muttered, sliding my feet to the floor. “Fucking melodramatic assholes.” Elijah said she was giving us until the full moon. I didn’t know what that meant. But it didn’t matter. She would be dead by then. I would see to it myself. “I can’t believe I didn’t see this coming. Michelle. She betrayed us.”
“I don’t know that you could have,” Mark said slowly. “Wolves working with hunters? She’s playing a dangerous game.” He paused, considering. “But she’s not the only one keeping secrets.”
I winced at the dig. I deserved that. “David King.”
“What about him?”
“He’s the one who told me that his sister was still around.”
“And you didn’t think to say anything?” There it was. The first hint of anger.
“I didn’t think—I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“You never do.”
I rolled my eyes. “You’re not funny.”
“I’m not trying to be.” His eyes flared orange briefly. “And whether or not we should have seen what Michelle would do, you still should have told us.”
“I know.”
He scoffed. “Do you? Because I don’t believe you.”
I glared up at him. “I fucked up, okay? I know that.”
“You don’t trust us. You don’t trust your pack.”
Now I was getting angry. “Go to hell, Mark. You don’t know what the fuck—”
“It took me a little bit to figure out why.”
“And now you’re going to tell me, aren’t you.”
He ignored me. “You don’t trust us. Even after everything we’ve been through. You don’t trust us because you think this is all temporary. That your pack is going to leave you again.”
“Gee, I wonder where I’d get that idea.”
He scowled at me. “Can you be serious for once?”
I laughed. It wasn’t the nicest sound. “Bullshit. You brought it up, Mark. If your pseudopsychobabble bullshit was true, if I didn’t trust my pack, it would be because of people like you.”
“I told you before. I would always come back—”
“But you didn’t,” I snapped at him. “You fucking left and—no. You know what? I’m not doing this now. Or ever. There are more important things we have to worry about.”
“You don’t trust us,” Mark said, as if I hadn’t spoken. I gave very real thought to calling on my magic and knocking him through the window. I was pretty sure he’d survive the fall. “And I’m to blame for that. Me. Elizabeth.” He swallowed thickly. “Thomas. And I will regret for the rest of my life not fighting harder.”
“He was your Alpha,” I muttered. “Kinda hard to say no when he could make you do anything he wanted.”
“He wasn’t like that.”
“Sure.”
“Gordo.”
I sighed. “I know.” Because no matter the complicated feelings I had toward Thomas Bennett, he wasn’t…. He had never taken away the free will of his pack. They may have made decisions he hadn’t liked, but he would always listen to them.
“Do you?” Mark asked me.
“Yeah.”
Mark shook his head. “It was—anything I could say to you about him, it would be the truth. You wouldn’t have to believe me, but I have never lied to you, Gordo. Not once. Not ever.”
I nodded, unable to speak.
“It killed him to leave you here. To leave you behind. He fought fang and claw for you. Against those in Maine. You were his. You belonged to him just as much as he belonged to you. He was your Alpha, Gordo. You were his witch. We were all young. We were all surviving. And we were all grieving those we’d lost.”
“He could have stayed here,” I said hoarsely, looking down at my hands. “But instead he left a child alone so he could go be king. A child who also had almost everything taken away. Thomas just finished the job.”
“That wasn’t—” Mark’s jaw tensed. “It wasn’t like that. He—if there was no Alpha of all, then there was a chance the wolves could have descended into chaos. He had to weigh the needs of the few with the needs of the many.”
“And we know where I fell in that decision, don’t we?”
“He was so angry, Gordo.”
“So was I.”
“Jesus Christ,” Mark snarled. “Can you listen for once in your goddamn life?”
I snapped my head up. Mark was always cool. Calm. And collected. But right now he was fucking furious. “I didn’t—”
“I’m trying to have an honest conversation with you, the first one we’ve had in years, and you’re being an asshole.”
The raven closed its talons around a stem of thorns. A rose felt like it was blooming.
“He fought for you,” Mark said, voice hard. “Those speciesist assholes hated that you were human. They were still terrified of what had happened to the Bennett pack because of the hunters. Humans weren’t—it wasn’t like it was in our pack. My father thought humans were the strength behind the wolf. Everyone else thought they were a weakness. A liability. Witches were the exception, because they had magic.”
“Then what the fuck was their—my father.”
Mark nodded. “You were your father’s son. That’s all they saw. You weren’t your own person. Your father lost control. You were a child when my father made you his witch. And then hunters came, and it was… compounded. It was too much. And Thomas knew, he knew that there would be anarchy unless he accepted his place as Alpha of all. I hated him for it. Elizabeth did too, at least a little bit. But nothing compared to the hate my brother had for himself. We had lost our father. Our aunts and uncles.” Mark bowed his head. “Our little cousins. It was—we were lost, Gordo. I don’t think even Thomas knew how lost we were. But I believe Osmond did. And I think he played upon that. Whether he was already working with Richard Collins by then, I don’t know. But it was Osmond who convinced Thomas to return. And it was Osmond who said you needed to stay.” He looked back up at me with an unreadable expression. “Thomas didn’t lie to you. He was always going to come back for you. It just took him longer than he thought it would. And by the time we came home, you didn’t want anything to do with us. With wolves.”
“I didn’t know what else to do. You left me, Mark. You fucking left me. Thomas told you to follow him, and you just—”
“I almost broke bonds with the pack. Because of that.”
“What?” I asked, startled.
“I almost left the pack.”
“Why?”
He chuckled bitterly. “Why. Why. So I could stay here, you idiot. So I could be with you.”
“I asked you. I begged you. And you told me no. Because you would be an Omega.”
I was in front of him before I realized I was moving. My chest bumped his. He breathed in sharply, nostrils flaring. His eyes flickered orange. There was a low rumble in the back of his throat. “Don’t. You’re not going to be an Omega. I won’t let it happen.”
“Gordo,” he growled, and I swore I saw a hint of fang.
“Shut up. You’ve had your time to talk. It’s my turn. You hear me?”
He nodded slowly.
“I hated you. For the longest time. All of you. You. Elizabeth. Thomas. All of you. You fucking left me here. And all I wanted to do was hurt you as best as I knew how. And then you all came back to Green Creek, acting like it was nothing. Like you didn’t need me. Like you didn’t even remember me. And then you fucking tried to take Ox and—”
“Pretty sure that was Joe.”
“I know that was Joe,” I snapped at him. “And you know when the first time I heard from Thomas was? It was because of Joe. It wasn’t I’m sorry, Gordo. It wasn’t I never meant to leave you behind. It was because he needed me to help his son. He needed me to help Joe. After all these years, he came for me because he wanted to use me.”
They don’t love you, my mother had said. They need you. They use you.
“He came to you,” Mark said in a rough voice, “because you were the only one he trusted enough to help his son.”
I sucked in a sharp breath. Through the bonds between us, all I felt was the blue sorrow.
“After… after we found Joe, after we took him back from Richard, he wasn’t the same. Not until Ox and he found his voice again. And even then, he would wake screaming in the middle of the night. About the monster who was coming for him. The monster who would take him away again. Thomas didn’t know what else to do. Those full moons before Joe achieved his shift were… harsh on him. His wolf was there under his skin, and it was tearing him apart. Thomas came to you because you were his pack, even if he wasn’t yours.”
I bowed my head, laying it on Mark’s shoulder. My eyes were burning, my body trembling. A hand came to the back of my neck, fingers in my hair. It was grounding. It was familiar. It was oh so dangerous.
His mouth was near my ear when he said, “I wanted to do it. For you. Maybe I would have turned Omega. Maybe not. You were my tether, even then. It might have been enough, but I was too scared to find out. You’re my mate, Gordo. Dirt and leaves and rain.”
I shuddered against him. “I hate you.”
“I know. Even though your heartbeat says otherwise. I think you believe it. And I’m sorry for that.”
“Goddamn you.”
“I know that too.”
I lifted my head but didn’t pull away. He didn’t drop his hand. Every breath I let out, he took in. His eyes searched mine. He glanced down briefly. His lips twitched as his gaze met mine again. “I like the tattoo.”
I didn’t understand. “What are you talking about? You’ve seen all my—”
Except he hadn’t, had he? No. He hadn’t seen the one I’d gotten after he left. The one that had been just for me. To remember.
He hadn’t seen the wolf and the raven inked into the skin above my heart.
“How long have you had that?” he asked, teeth razor-sharp.
I said, “It’s not about you,” but even I felt the stutter in my heart.
“Sure, Gordo.”
“It’s not.”
“Okay. So you know a lot of wolves that look like me when I shift, then?”
“Asshole,” I muttered as he laughed quietly.
He dropped his hand.
I took a step back, though I wanted nothing more than to press myself against him. Things were changing, and at the worst possible time. I felt pulled in a million different directions.
He understood. He smiled sadly at me. “I have things to say to you, Gordo. So many things. Things you might not be ready to hear. But I will mean every word of them. If it gets to the point where I start to go feral—”
I shook my head furiously. “No. No, I won’t let that happen. I won’t—”
“I know,” he said gently. “I know you won’t. But sometimes things happen that we don’t expect. Like finding a boy with magic in his skin who is everything.” He closed his eyes. “Or losing my mind.”
My hands curled into fists at my sides. “If this is my father, then there has to be a way to reverse it. I’ll find it. I’ve—”
“It’s already begun.”
I took a step back, eyes wide and wet. “What?”
“Carter.”
“What about Carter?”
“He’s… it took him a while. To come out of his shift. It was harder for him than it should have been.”
I scrubbed a hand over my face. “Did he hurt anyone?”
“No, though he did snap at Robbie for getting too close to Kelly. Ox was able to get between them in time.”
“Why is it happening so fast? Michelle said—”
“Even if we could believe a single word she said, it could be any number of things. It could be the coming moon. Or the stress on the body because of the shift. The anger toward the hunters. Or Michelle could be lying to us about how long it takes.”
I didn’t want to know the answer, but I had to ask. “And you?”
He looked away. “It’s… there. It’s quiet. But it’s there. I can feel it.” He shrugged awkwardly as he let out a shuddering breath. “I don’t want it to happen, Gordo. I don’t want to lose this. This tether.” His smile was shaky. “It’s the only part of you that’s ever been mine.”
There were days before, long days, where the very thought of this wolf standing before me filled me with rage. I would have given anything to never hear the Bennett name again. To leave the world of wolves behind and try to forget that they had done the same to me.
But now I was only filled with anguish. With remorse.
I had wasted time. So much time.
I took a step toward him.
He never looked away.
He inhaled as our knees bumped together.
His eyes glittered in the dark.
I pressed my forehead against his.
His fingers trailed along my arms.
He exhaled.
I inhaled.
It would be so easy. Now. Here, at the end. To take what he was offering. What he’d always offered.
His breath was hot against my lips as I—
His head jerked to the side.
I sighed.
“Ox,” he said quietly. “It’s Ox. He wants us downstairs.”
I was going to murder my Alpha.
I moved to step away from Mark.
He held on to my hand. “Hey.”
I looked up. He was smiling at me shyly. “We’ll… can we talk about this later?”
I said, “Yeah,” and my voice was hoarse.
“Okay,” he said. “Okay.”
For now, it was enough.
It would have to be.
We had a goddamn war to fight.
WE DESCENDED the staircase in the Bennett house, Mark walking close behind me. The wooden steps creaked underneath our feet, and the buzz of conversation stopped at the sound.
Fucking werewolves.
They were in the great room. All of them. Our pack.
Rico sat on an oversized sofa, Jessie perched on the arm. Both of them watched every step I took. Rico’s wounds weren’t as bad as they looked in the truck.
Chris and Tanner were battered and bruised. Chris’s forehead had been cleaned, and there was a small row of black stitches across the top. It’d leave a scar, but one I knew he’d wear proudly. Tanner’s knee was slightly swollen and wrapped in a brace, but he had a determined look on his face.
Team motherfucking Human.
Elizabeth sat on the couch, her legs curled up underneath her. Kelly was at her side, pressed shoulder to shoulder. Carter sat at their feet, head tilted back, eyes closed as he breathed in slowl
y, held it, then let it out through his nose. Kelly’s hand was in his hair.
Robbie stood behind the long couch, wringing his hands. His glasses were perched awkwardly on his face, but I couldn’t find the strength to tell him they looked ridiculous. He must have been growing on me.
And the Alphas.
They stood near the windows, upright and rigid, their backs to the pack. An aura of power surrounded them. There were the threads, yes, the ones between all of us. Wolves. Humans. A witch. And there was the ever-present tinge of blue echoing along them. But it was overwhelmed by Joe. By Ox. They were furious, though that fury didn’t seem to be directed toward anyone in the house.
I wasn’t a wolf, but I still understood the urgent feeling of an invading force in our territory. Couple that with the betrayal of a woman who, while we didn’t trust her, we hadn’t expected to throw us to a group of hunters. Especially not Elijah, who had been here once before and taken almost everything. It was a knife in our backs, twisted cruelly.
If we survived this, if we survived the hunters and the infection spreading in two of our own, Michelle Hughes was going to pay.
I would see to it.
And even though we felt blue, there was green. Still. Now. The green of relief, because we were here. We were together.
We were packpackpack.
Carter broke the silence.
“You know,” he said, voice a little hoarse, “I hope you guys are on your way to working out whatever the fuck is going on between the two of you. I mean, it was really gross to watch my uncle carry you up the stairs in his arms like some damsel in distress and snarl at anyone who tried to go into his room to check on you.”
I turned slowly to look at Mark, who suddenly found the wall very interesting. “You did what?”
He was frowning. “Shut up.”
“No. Seriously. You did what.”
“Went all wolfy caveman,” Rico said. “I thought he was going to bite my head off when I knocked on the door. He clubbed you upside the head and then took you to his den. You should probably ask if he licked you while you were sleeping. You know, to clean you and stuff.”
“What happened to Dale?” Tanner whispered to Chris. “Is he still a thing we don’t talk about?”
“Would you stop saying his name?” Chris hissed back. “You’re going to ruin their mystical moon magic.”