by TJ Klune
I took a step back.
He turned his head sharply, chin touching his right shoulder. I could make out one of the wings of the raven on his neck. He flexed his hands, and the carving he’d made for me when we hadn’t yet known how much a heart could break fell to the floor in pieces.
He inhaled deeply.
I could see the fangs in the low light.
He opened his eyes.
They were violet.
It hadn’t been enough.
I hadn’t been enough.
He said, “Run, Gordo, please run, run so I can chase you, so I can hunt you, so I can find you and taste you and fuck you with my teeth—”
I was already running.
He howled behind me, the song reverberating through the bones of the house around us. I felt it deep in my skin, flashes of pain as if I were held down by an Alpha and my father was whispering his poison in my ears.
Outside. I needed to get outside.
Before I could reach the front door, it imploded, the wood cracking as a shifted Alpha burst through, eyes blazing red. He landed in front of me and my hands went into his fur, digging in deep. Ox, it was Ox, it was—
Ox knocked me to the side even as he began to shift toward human. There came the snarl of a feral wolf, angry and crazed, and I hit the floor, turning my head in time to see Ox catch Mark by the throat. His hand completely covered the raven on Mark’s skin.
Mark tried to claw at him, tried to rip his skin apart. He kicked up with his feet to get at Ox’s stomach, meaning to eviscerate and cause as much damage as he could. He missed, barely, as Ox raised him high above his head as far as he could stretch, before he slammed Mark onto the ground. The floorboards that the guys from the shop had helped me lay one long, hot summer years ago cracked loudly as Ox pushed Mark through them. Mark grunted painfully, and I knew his bones were already trying to put themselves back together.
Ox’s eyes burned like fire as he roared in Mark’s face.
The song of the Alpha, even as he bled onto the Omega wolf below him.
It startled Mark. His violet eyes widened and he cried, “Alpha. Alpha. Alpha.”
Ox loosened his grip.
Mark immediately snapped his head toward me, violet flaring brightly, snapping his teeth.
Oxnard said, “I’m so sorry for this,” and let go of his throat before bringing a closed fist down on the side of Mark’s head.
Mark grunted and his body went slack.
And in the ruins of my living room, all we felt was blue.
HE TOLD me. How he felt it. How he felt it when Mark bit me. Felt it when we mated. It was a surge of power that rolled through him. Through Joe. Through the pack.
But it hadn’t lasted.
“It started to splinter,” he said quietly as we trekked through the snow. Mark was slung over his shoulder. “It started to fray. It was like… it was being poisoned. Shriveling. I hadn’t felt it like that before. Not since they were infected.”
The snow whispered down around us. It crunched under our feet. Somewhere above, hidden away behind the clouds, the moon grew fatter, calling out for her love, who always ran from her. She would be at her fullest soon enough.
“I thought,” I said in a choked voice, “I thought it would help. I thought it would….”
“I know,” Ox said, though he wouldn’t look at me. “I know you did.”
Thankfully he didn’t say what we were both thinking.
That instead of slowing it down, we’d sped it up.
I followed my Alpha home.
Wolves waited for us at the house at the end of the lane.
They knew, of course. They had to. They could feel it just the same.
Carter stood off to the side, arms across his chest, face pinched and lined. Kelly was at his side, whispering in his ear, much to the consternation of the timber wolf that circled around them slowly, tail twitching. The moment it caught my scent, its hackles rose and it moved in front of Carter, trying to herd him away from me. Its violet eyes tracked every step I took.
Carter snapped at the wolf, trying to stand his ground. But the wolf was having none of it, watching me warily as I approached. I gave them a wide berth.
Joe stood with Elizabeth on the porch, arm around her shoulders. Her eyes were wide and wet, but no tears fell as she watched us come to stand in front of the house, a twisted inversion of the day her sons and I had returned to Green Creek.
I didn’t know what to say to her. To them.
“Jessie?” Ox grunted.
“Down with Pappas,” Joe said quietly. “Spreading another line of silver.” His glanced at me before looking back at Ox. “She’ll be ready.”
“Dude,” Carter said off to our right. “Would you knock it off? What the fuck is your problem?”
The timber wolf grumbled at him, still trying to push him away from me.
Ox nodded, hoisting Mark back up on his shoulder from where he was about to slip off. Mark’s arms hung loose down his back.
“Did he hurt you?” Elizabeth asked, and for a moment I thought she was talking to Ox.
She wasn’t. She was looking directly at me.
I shook my head, words stuck in my throat.
“Good. He… he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if he had. He’s always been that way about you.”
Goddammit.
“He didn’t bite you, did he?” Joe asked Ox, and though he was trying to keep his voice even, it came out strained and high. He sounded like a kid again, the boy who Ox had called his tornado.
“No,” Ox said. “He tried, but no.”
Joe nodded tightly.
Elizabeth moved down the stairs as Ox approached. She ran a hand over Mark’s bare back, trails of melted snow running down toward his shoulders. I saw the exact moment she became aware of the raven on his throat, her lips thinning, hand closing into a fist. The wooden steps creaked under their combined weight as Ox carried Mark into the house.
Joe turned to follow them, but he stopped before he reached the door. He looked like he was working himself toward something, and I dreaded whatever came out of his mouth next.
He said, “Carter.”
Kelly hung his head.
Carter sighed. “I know. I just… I just wanted to be outside. For a little bit longer.”
He tilted his head back toward the sky. Snow fell on his eyelashes, and he blinked it away. He took a deep breath and let it out slow. It streamed up around his face. Kelly reached out and took his brother’s hand, their fingers interlocking. Carter looked over at him, expression softening. “It’ll be all right. You’ll see.”
Kelly nodded jerkily.
“Hey,” he said. “None of that now. Look at me. Please.”
Kelly did. His bottom lip was trembling.
“It’ll be okay,” Carter whispered. “I promise.”
“You can’t know that.”
Carter shrugged. “Yeah, but it sounds good, so. Go inside and help the others. Can you do that for me?”
Kelly’s eyes narrowed. “Why?”
“I just… I need to talk to Gordo. I’ll follow you in a second.”
Kelly looked at me suspiciously. I kept my face blank. He dropped his brother’s hand without another word and headed for the house. His mother touched his arm as he walked by. She leaned over and whispered something in his ear. He stood stiffly by her side until she finished speaking and kissed his cheek. She let him go, and he disappeared into the house.
Carter took a step toward me, but before he could get any closer, the timber wolf grabbed him by the coat, biting down and trying to pull him away. Carter slipped on the snow, turning over his shoulder to glare at the wolf. “Dude, I’m going to kick your wolfy ass if you don’t leave me the fuck alone. I don’t know what your deal is, but I don’t like weird fucking ferals getting all up in my shit.”
The wolf growled at him, jerking on his coat again.
“I need to talk to Gordo.”
The wolf didn’t thi
nk that was a good idea.
“Jesus Christ. Look, just… back off for a second, okay? This is my pack. No one here is going to try anything. Stop it, or I’m going to make Gordo blast you with his Force lightning.”
The wolf let go of Carter’s coat and snarled at me.
I rolled my eyes. “I don’t have Force lightning. Why do I have to keep telling you all that?”
“Whatever,” Carter said dismissively. “That’s not the point. Stop trying to undermine my totally credible threats to this stranger wolf who doesn’t understand the concept of personal space.”
He took another step toward me.
The wolf growled at him.
He smacked it upside the head.
For some reason, it subsided.
“Of all the things I have to deal with now,” Carter muttered, but the wolf stayed where it was as Carter approached me.
Elizabeth remained quiet.
Carter stood in front of me. He wasn’t…. The road had changed him. He’d become harder. Toward the end, we all had. But being back home, he’d softened, at least a little. Not as much as his brothers, but enough. He hadn’t been who he once was, but none of them could be. Not after their father. Not after everything they’d seen.
But in the past year, he’d settled, somehow, in his skin. He was his Alpha’s second, this brave boy who was fiercely protective of those he loved.
And now this.
I knew why Joe had called for him now.
Jessie wasn’t just making a cage for Mark.
She was making one for Carter too.
He studied me, and I didn’t know what he was looking for. He said, “It’s… you felt it. I know you did. When we were on the road. You tried to fight it. I didn’t know why, at first. I didn’t understand. Everything you’d been through. And maybe I still don’t know it all. But somewhere along the way, you became pack. To me. To us. And I trusted you then to watch over my brothers and me. And when we got home, to watch over the rest of us. You didn’t want it. This burden. And I’m sorry for that. But you have it anyway. Because you’re family. My family.” He shook his head. “And I need you to promise me something. Because I can’t ask anyone else to do it.”
“Carter—”
He held up his hand. “Just—listen. Please? This is hard enough as it is. I need—if you can’t turn us back. If you can’t… fix this, then I need you to promise me that you’ll be the one. To—”
“Fuck you,” I said hoarsely. “Fuck you, Carter.”
He blinked rapidly. “I know. But I can’t have… my mom and…. Joe, just. And Kelly? Oh god, Gordo. Kelly is so… he’s not like us. He’s not an Alpha. He’s not a second. He needs… just, please. Please just do it. For me. I can’t be like that. I can’t take the chance that I’ll hurt anyone. It’s not—”
I hugged him.
He was surprised. I’d never initiated anything like this before. Not with him. He felt… strange, pressed up against me, and I remembered the look on Elizabeth’s face when I’d gone into her room that first time after he’d been born.
Would you look at that, she’d said. He likes you, Gordo.
And I’d promised him something then. As his little fist curled in my hair, I’d made him a promise.
You will be safe. I’ll help keep you safe.
His arms came up around me, and he hugged me back.
Eventually he let me go.
He rolled his eyes as the wolf snarled behind him. “Yeah, yeah, you asshole. Shut up already.”
He kissed his mother on the cheek as he headed toward the house, a gigantic feral wolf trailing behind him.
Only Elizabeth and I remained out in the snow, the morning light weak around us.
I didn’t know what to say to her. What was right. What was wrong. Her son had just asked me to end his life if it came down to it, and she’d stood silent in the face of it.
In the end, it didn’t matter. She spoke first.
She said, “The others are at the bar still. Robbie too, though he wasn’t very happy to let Kelly out of his sight.”
“Of course he wasn’t,” I muttered. “How are the humans taking it?”
“Disbelief, I think. Most of them. I think they’re trying to convince themselves it wasn’t what it appeared. Some of them, though. They’re not… afraid. They’re curious. Bambi especially. I think I like that girl.”
“Rico’s got his hands full, that’s for sure.”
“Quite. But they’re handling it, for now. No one is trying to leave the Lighthouse, and there haven’t been any threats against us. If anything, we had to stop them from trying to leave to take on the hunters themselves. I don’t know what it is about this place, but it certainly fosters men to behave like fools. Robbie argued with Ox about being separated from Kelly. Threatened him, even. I’m not sure Kelly knew what to do with that.”
“Kid is kind of an idiot that way.”
“He’s not the only one.”
“Yeah, about that. How long do you think it’s going to be before Carter figures it out?”
A little smile appeared on her face. “Oh, I expect it’ll take some time. I love my children, but they can be a bit naïve when it comes to certain things. But I wasn’t talking about Carter.”
I scowled at her. “Do we really have to do this now?”
“You’re Mark’s mate. Of course we do.”
“I didn’t—I thought it would—I didn’t mean to—”
“I know,” she said. “But leave it to you to wait until the last possible second to pull your head out of your ass.”
“He’s… he didn’t mean it. When he hit you. He would never—”
“Of course he didn’t,” she said, not unkindly. “And once everything is good again, I will make sure to have my revenge.”
I deflated slightly. “He’s all I’ve got left.”
She huffed out a breath. “I know you’re stupid, Gordo, but you can’t possibly be that stupid.”
I snapped my head up and glared at her. “I don’t—”
“Do you remember what I told you before you left with my sons?”
“You told me you trusted me with your sons.”
“Yes. And I meant that.”
“You also said you would rip me apart if I betrayed that trust,” I reminded her.
“And I meant that too,” she said, eyes flashing orange. “But that was the only way you would have understood me, Gordo. If I’d said it any other way, you wouldn’t have believed me. For the longest time, you dealt only in threats. For the pack. And then against us. Against yourself. Thomas… he was to blame for that. Maybe not completely, but a large part. And that is something he never forgave himself for. He loved you, Gordo. He loved you. He came to you when he needed you most. With Joe. He knew that even though you were so angry at him, that you had such rage in your heart, that deep down, you were still the Bennett witch, even if neither of you could say it out loud. Men are stubborn that way. Ridiculous and stubborn.”
“He threatened me. Told me if I didn’t help, he’d—”
“Because that’s the only thing you would have responded to,” she said. “But you’re not that person anymore. You haven’t been for a long time. You protected my sons. You brought them all home. You made yourself a pack, and even if you didn’t believe it, they believed in you. None of us, Gordo, none of us would be the same without you. And Mark? Mark has loved you since he knew what love was.”
“But I couldn’t,” I told her, needing her to understand. “In the end, I couldn’t protect them. If this is him, if this is my father, then he’s doing this because of me. Carter and Mark and—”
“You are not your father,” she said fiercely. “You’re so much more than he could ever be. You have a pack, Gordo. You have the strength of the wolves behind you. You have the humans, those wonderful humans who would follow you anywhere. Can’t you see? What my son just asked of you wasn’t because he thinks you’d be the only one who could do it. He—he asked you bec
ause he knew he could trust you. In the end, he asked you because there was no one else he trusted more. Just like his father. Just like me.”
I bowed my head.
She cupped my face. “You are not alone, Gordo. You haven’t been for a long time. It’s only now you’re finally seeing that. You’ve felt this way for too long, and I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry for everything.”
She wiped away the single tear that trickled down my cheek. She tilted my face up until I could look her in the eye. “But I know something they don’t. And I think you know it too. Don’t you?”
I nodded slowly.
“We’re not going to let it get that far, are we?”
“No.”
“Because this is our town. This is our pack. And no one is going to take that away from us. Not again.”
The roses on my arm began to bloom. I felt their petals expanding on my skin. “Never again.”
Her eyes were shining orange. “Not witches. Not hunters. Not an Alpha who wants what has never belonged to her. And not your father.”
“No. None of them will.”
She nodded slowly. “You know something, don’t you? I can feel it. Through the bonds. It’s dark under all that blue. But it’s there.”
And I hesitated.
“Gordo?” she asked. “What is it?”
There was a wolf, Gordo. He came to me. I knew him. Even though I’d never met him in this life, I knew him. Gordo, he said you have to open the door. You have to throw it wide open if you expect to survive this.
We’re coming, okay? We’ll do what we can, but he said you have to open the door. He said you’d understand. That I had to tell you nevermore and you’d understand. Thomas said—
“Nevermore,” I breathed.
“He used to say that about you. When we were alone.” Elizabeth Bennett looked upon me with the wolf crawling underneath her skin. “‘Tell me, I implore!’/Quoth the Raven ‘Nevermore.’”
And all I felt buried in the deep, deep blue was pack and pack and pack.
JESSIE SAID, “It’s happening, isn’t it.”
She was leaning against the wall near the cellar door. She looked as tired as I felt, but she was carrying herself high and proud. Like a wolf.