by TJ Klune
Elizabeth said, “Kelly,” and he subsided, though he still looked murderous. I hoped he would forgive me for what I was about to do. “Why?”
I swallowed thickly. “You know why.”
“Not good enough,” she said, and oh, she was angry. “After everything we’ve been through, that’s not good enough, Gordo Livingstone. You will say it. Now.”
I knew what she was asking for, and it was the least I could give. “Because he’s my mate.”
She wiped her eyes. “You were his choice. You always were. Even when—even when he thought you would never choose him back. Even when you thought otherwise, he always chose you.”
“I know.”
“Did you choose him back? Or was this all part of a plan? Are you using him?”
You can’t trust a wolf.
They don’t love you.
They need you.
They use you.
The magic in you is a lie.
Except it wasn’t. My mother hadn’t understood. But that hadn’t been her fault. She had been fooled by my father, just as the rest of us had. And in the end, she did the only thing she could.
“I chose him,” I told her. “And I would do it again. And if this works, if this will do what I think it will, then we may still have a chance. They may have a chance. The hunters, they—they gave us until the full moon. And they have our friends. Our pack.” Those crazy, brilliant men. “We’re outnumbered. Maybe we could take them head-on. Maybe we could win. But the weapons they have can put down a wolf in seconds. We need to even the odds.” It was now or never. “We need to open the door.”
They were confused. I expected that. They weren’t thinking like I was. They didn’t know what I did. And the idea was so abstract that it was a struggle to even understand it to begin with.
Ox understood first. He knew what it would mean. “The door,” he repeated. “Are you sure?”
I nodded.
Joe looked between us, eyes narrowing. “What are you—no.” He took a step forward. “You can’t possibly be thinking of—”
Ox put a hand on his shoulder. “We need to listen.”
“What’s he talking about?” Kelly demanded, ignoring Robbie when he tried to soothe him. “What does he want to do?”
“The moment before Richard Collins died,” I said. “After he… hurt Ox, he became an Alpha. But before that, the Omegas had already gathered behind him. Whether or not some of them were infected, I don’t know. But I have to believe some of them were. He was… like Ox.”
The wolves growled.
I raised my hands, trying to placate them. “Not… look. Ox was an Alpha without even being a wolf. We know that. Richard was… not the same, but it was close. Two sides of the same coin. The Omegas followed him. He controlled them. An Alpha without actually being an Alpha. Until he took it from Ox. You know what happened then.”
“Mierda,” Rico muttered as Jessie finished wrapping his leg. “It was bad. Like a storm in my head. Could feel them. Bugs crawling on my brain.”
I nodded. “Because Richard became your Alpha.”
“Until I killed him,” Joe said. “And gave it back to Ox.”
“And I took them with me,” Ox said, glancing at Joe before looking back at me. “The Omegas. Until we closed that door.”
“We locked it tight,” I agreed. “Some still managed to make it through. It was why Omegas showed up here every now and then. They felt Ox pulling them, even when he wasn’t meaning to. Michelle Hughes wasn’t wrong when she said that Green Creek became a beacon. But she doesn’t know just how far it goes. Just how bright it could be.”
“So, what,” Kelly snapped. “You want to unlock the door? Are you out of your mind?”
“No,” I said coolly. “I don’t want to unlock it. I want to shatter it to pieces. Ox needs to become Alpha of the Omegas.”
The only sounds came from feral wolves.
Then Rico said, “Okay, like. No offense, papi. You know I love you. Bros for life, and all that. But did you go a little nuts in your head from the mystical moon magic? Because it seems like you went a little nuts in your head from the mystical moon magic.”
“Try it, witch,” Kelly said, eyes flashing. “You just try it.”
Robbie said, “Kelly—” but the wolf snapped, “No. No, no, I won’t let you. I won’t let this happen. Can’t you see what will happen? It’ll pull on them. On the Omegas. On Mark. On Carter. It will force them further. They will both be completely feral. I don’t care if it’s magic. I don’t care if it’s something else. You can’t do this.” His voice broke. “You can’t take them away from me. You can’t have Carter.”
“Hey,” Carter said, taking a step forward. He growled angrily when he bumped into the line of silver, unable to reach his brother. “Kelly. Come on, man. It’s not—”
“Don’t,” Kelly said hoarsely. “Don’t do this. Please. Not you.”
Carter shrugged awkwardly. “It’s—I’m already losing it, here.” He tried to smile, but it collapsed before it could reach his eyes. “I’m holding on, but it’s a losing battle.”
“No,” Kelly said, shaking his head furiously. “There has to be another way. I’ll find it. I don’t know how, but I will. I won’t let you do this. I won’t.”
“I know you’re scared—”
“You’re damn right I am!” he cried, slamming his fists against the barrier between them. “What if we can’t fix this? Carter, what if you—what if you can’t come back?”
“I will,” he said. “I promise. Ox, or Joe, or Gordo. One of them will find a way. I know it. But it’s… it’s already taking you away from me. But if Ox can still be my Alpha, even if I’m an Omega, then we have to take that chance. Because if he’s still my Alpha and he’s yours too, that means we’re still connected, even if I can’t feel it anymore. You’ll still be a part of me. And I have to believe that will be enough to bring me home.”
The tears spilled over, and Robbie wrapped an arm around Kelly’s shoulders, holding him as he sobbed.
I looked away, my own heart breaking. If this didn’t work—or even if it did—and I couldn’t find a way to bring them back, Kelly would never forgive me. And I wouldn’t blame him. I would never forgive myself.
“You mean to use them,” Ox said, and I was very tired. “The Omegas. You want to call them here. To Green Creek. To weaponize them.”
“You said we were in a war,” I told him quietly. “And if that’s the case, then we need an army.”
“And after the hunters? What then?”
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “But if we don’t do something about the hunters now, about Elijah, then there will be nothing left to worry about.”
“I don’t like this,” he said.
“I know.”
“Do you? Because you’re asking me to do the same thing Richard Collins did. You’re asking me to take control of a group of wolves who won’t be able to say no. To use them.”
“You’re not him. You never have been.”
His clenched his jaw. “You said we were the same. Sides of a coin.”
“Yeah. But the difference is you aren’t trying to take something away. You’re trying to protect what’s already yours.” I shook my head. “Look, Ox. I can’t pretend that this isn’t messed up. Because it is. You see everything in black and white. As good and bad. And that’s what makes you the Alpha that you are. But I can’t do that. I can’t. I’m not like you. I never have been, and I never will be. My conscience can’t be as clear as yours. I’ve—done things. Things I’m not proud of. But I would do anything to keep my pack safe. To keep my family safe. And I’m asking you to do the same. Because it won’t end with the hunters. There are always going to be more who try and take what doesn’t belong to them. Witches. Michelle Hughes.” I sighed. “My father. It won’t—what would you do? To protect those you love?”
“Everything,” Ox said, though I knew it hurt him to say. “I would do everything.”
“
I need you to trust me on this.”
He sighed and closed his eyes. “The wards. Witches. Won’t they keep the Omegas out? Can you even change them back?”
“Maybe not by myself. But others are coming.”
Joe blinked. “What? What others? How can you know that? We’re cut off from the outside.”
I shrugged. “Magic.” It was easier than telling him his dead father appeared in a vision to a witch in Minneapolis and she told me so in a dream. Maybe when things were all said and done. Maybe never.
Rico snorted. “Magic. Magic, he says. Ay dios mío. Our lives, man. Bambi is never going to forgive me, even with a sexy scar.”
“I’m sure you’ll figure it out,” Jessie told him, patting him on the hand. “I’ve got faith in you.” She frowned. “Maybe.”
“Hey! I’ve been shot. You’re supposed to be nice to me.”
“You were grazed. And then let women carry you back.”
“That’s because I’m a feminist.”
Jessie sighed.
“Can you do this?” Joe asked Ox.
Ox started to shake his head but stopped himself. “I don’t—I think so. I’ll need you.” He reached out and took Joe’s hand. “I’ll need all of you. Especially if I’m going to… control them.”
“Won’t they go after Gordo?” Robbie asked, still standing close to Kelly. “If they’re like the others, can you stop them from attacking him?”
“I’ll do what I can,” Ox said. “But it’s not going to be easy.”
“I can handle myself,” I said.
“I can’t believe you,” Kelly said, and it hurt to hear the betrayal in his voice. “Any of you. That you’d do this to them. To Mark. To Carter.”
Carter sighed. “Pretty sure I’m still in my right mind here. Well. Mostly in my right mind. I can speak for myself.” The timber wolf pressed its nose against his shoulder, and he shoved it away.
Kelly laughed bitterly. “Only because you’re scared and don’t see any other way.”
“Kelly.”
“Fuck you.”
“Look at me.”
Somehow, Kelly did.
“I am scared,” Carter admitted, and I remembered them singing along with the radio, windows rolled down and a breeze blowing through their hair as we traveled farther and farther from our home. “Scared as I’ve been in a long time. Maybe ever. But you want to know what scares me even more than turning Omega?”
Kelly shook his head, lips in a thin line.
Carter smiled, though it trembled. “Losing you. That might scare me more than anything else in this world. If there’s even a chance that we can beat this, even a chance that I can keep you safe for at least one more day, don’t you think I’m going to do it? And I know you’d be doing the same for me if it was you in here. Don’t try and tell me otherwise.”
“You can’t leave me.”
Carter’s smile widened. “Never. I still need to threaten Robbie some more. Did you know he sniffs you when he thinks no one is looking?”
“I do not,” Robbie said, though he was blushing furiously and looking down at his feet.
Kelly glanced at Robbie, scandalized, before turning back to his brother. “You promise?”
“That he sniffs you? Yeah, man. He does it—”
“Carter.”
Carter’s expression softened. “Yeah, Kelly. I promise. I’ll always come back for you.”
“Elizabeth?” Ox asked.
She stood in front of her brother-in-law. He was almost against the barrier, growling lowly. He tapped his claws against his bare legs. The raven on his throat twitched with the tensing of his neck muscles. He watched her with violet eyes.
This was her family.
This was all she had left.
And when a wolf mother was backed into a corner, there was nothing she wouldn’t do to protect what was hers.
Elizabeth Bennett said, “Do it. Shatter the door.”
KELLY AND Joe stood in front of Carter. The timber wolf wasn’t pleased to have them so close, but it kept back behind him. They spoke quietly to each other, Joe’s arm wrapped around Kelly’s shoulders. Carter was trying to get Kelly to smile, but Kelly wouldn’t look at him. I didn’t know if he’d ever forgive me.
Robbie was at my side on the other end of the basement, away from everyone else. I knew he was working himself up to something, so I was giving him the time he needed. He was going to threaten me, and I’d let him. He had Kelly’s back, after all.
So I was surprised when he finally said, “You’re doing the right thing.”
I grunted, because I didn’t know what else to say.
“He might not see it, and maybe he never will, but you are.”
“I don’t give a shit.”
Robbie rolled his eyes. “Yeah. Okay, Gordo.” He pushed himself off the wall with a sigh. “If it makes you feel any better, I’ll pretend to believe you.”
He started to walk away.
I called after him.
He looked over his shoulder.
“You don’t need those glasses,” I said. “Take them off. You look stupid.”
He grinned at me. “Love you too.”
Idiot.
I LOOKED away when Elizabeth stood before her son.
He tried to be brave. He really did. But when he couldn’t reach her, when he couldn’t touch her skin, his smile trembled and broke, and he—
“Fuck this,” Jessie muttered, and before anyone could stop her, she was next to Elizabeth, using her foot to break the line of powdered silver.
Elizabeth threw herself at her son. He caught her, nose going to her throat as he inhaled deeply.
Jessie looked back at the rest of us defiantly.
No one said a word.
THEY LEFT to give me time to center myself. To give me a moment to breathe.
Pappas prowled back and forth, tracking my every movement.
The line of silver in front of Carter had been restored. He sat on the ground, legs crossed. The timber wolf sat curled around him, tail on his legs. Carter looked down at it, resigned. He shook his head. “You know,” he said, “I never thought… well. I don’t know what I thought.”
“About?”
He shrugged. “Everything.”
“That’s… vague.”
“Right? I’m having hard time focusing.”
“It’s getting worse.”
He nodded. “Yeah. Has been all morning. I… I didn’t want Kelly to see. You know how he is.”
“Yeah.”
“You gotta take care of them for me, man. Just in case I—”
“I will.”
He nodded and closed his eyes, leaning back against the feral wolf behind him. “It’s been good, you know? Even through all the suckage, we’ve got a good pack. I’m very lucky to have had that.”
I looked away.
“Do what you need to do, Gordo. While you still can. He can hear you. I know he can.”
I did too. It was violet, the bond between us, and it felt like it was hanging in tatters, but it still held, no matter how stretched thin it was. The bite mark on my neck throbbed as I came to stand before him.
He watched me, Mark did. My wolf.
The raven was ink black against his throat.
His eyes burned.
“I’m sorry,” I told him quietly. “That it took me this long to get here. I should have—I should have done things differently. I didn’t know how.”
He cocked his head, sharp teeth bared.
“But we didn’t come this far just to lose it now. And if you try to leave me after everything we’ve been through, I will hunt you down myself.”
Carter sounded like he was choking.
I turned slowly to glare at him.
He shrugged. “Just… way to be romantic, you know? I don’t know why I’m so surprised that you tell him you care about him by threatening him. You guys are ridiculous.”
I rolled my eyes. “You’ll learn about it soon enough.
”
His brow furrowed. “What? What are you talking about? I’m going to learn about what soon enough?”
I ignored him.
Mark took a step toward me.
I waited.
He tilted his head back toward the ceiling, exposing the raven. His nostrils flared as he tried to catch my scent through the silver. The violet in his eyes pulsed. He reached up and pressed his hand against the barrier.
“Gordo,” he said, voice a deep rumble.
I smiled sadly at him. “Yeah. It’s me.”
“Gordo. Gordo. Gordo.”
And deep in my head, along the frayed thread that stretched between us, I heard a wolf howling a song of the lost, trying to find his way home.
IT WAS late in the afternoon when Ox sat on the floor in front of me in the basement of the house at the end of the lane. Behind him sat our pack, though we were down two members. Joe was immediately behind Ox, head bowed, forehead pressed against the back of Ox’s neck. Behind him were Rico and Jessie, each with a hand on his shoulder. Elizabeth, Kelly, and Robbie sat closest to the wolves behind the lines of silver, each of them touching the humans in some way.
Mark was agitated, moving back and forth.
Carter still sat against the timber wolf, struggling to control his breathing.
Pappas was snarling, angrier than I’d ever seen him. I wondered if he was already too far gone to save.
My knees bumped against those of my Alpha.
It hadn’t been like this when we’d shut the door and locked it. It’d been only the Alphas and me. I’d kept the others away because I didn’t want the distraction.
I needed them now.
I needed all of them.
I took his hands in mine. He watched me carefully, always trusting. He wasn’t that kid who’d never had a root beer before. He was my Alpha.
My brother.
My friend.
My tether.
He was afraid, though. It was small, and well hidden, but it was there. It was you’re gonna get shit for the rest of your life. It was you’re not good enough. It was you’re not strong enough.
It was ghosts. It always came back to ghosts.
They don’t love you. They need you. They use you. The magic in you is a lie.