by K A Duggsy
It’s wrong on so many levels, it stings so much I could cry. Luckily I’m not inclined to do so with an audience. It’s still sinking in when I feel Faith rush past me, ripping my phaser from my lax grip and running at Johnson. I’m so subdued I don’t even care. All of a sudden none of this seems important. I mean in the grand scheme of things it is, but right now with my world falling apart and my heart in pieces, I don’t give a fuck about Advance.
I listen to the vehemence pouring from her mouth. I can hear her anguish and it pulls at my heartstrings just a little bit more. I feel like I’ve been wrung out to dry. I let her hurt him until he’s almost dead before snapping out of my stupor and dragging her away. She’s being her feisty self and fighting me all the way.
God I love her spirit. I love her.
Once we’re separated from the others I march into an adjoining room and set her down. I stand back and watch. I’m not ready to hear more... yet. But I will have to know the answers to the questions running through my mind. For my own sanity I’ll have to hear the unspeakable. Can the truth possibly be any worse than the horror I’m imagining? Can I deal with the enormity of that confession?
I lean against the door and watch her pace. She’s locked everyone out; she’s gone back to her bad place. Right now she’s locked inside her head, nothing else exists except for the thoughts she’s mulling over. I’ve seen her like this once before. It was scary as shit but I can’t pull her out of it now not when I’m wading through some pretty nasty shit myself. I walk over to a desk and rest against it, never taking my eyes off her.
I need to pull her into my arms and reassure her but I need reassurance. I’ve gone through a lot for her and I don’t regret a second of it but I need to know that she wants this, that she wants me. I haven’t thought far enough ahead to worry about logistics. I presumed as long as we want to be together it would all work out. I presumed as long as we love each other, everything would be okay. Maybe if she hadn’t been busy with a boyfriend, her memories of me would have reared earlier. Jealousy really is ugly.
She’s pacing and her quiet muttering has ceased. Her face is calm as if she’s concluded something. Goosebumps crawl over my arms. She looks too peaceful, alarmingly so. And then her gaze falls to me as if she’s only just realised I’m here with her.
I don’t like this distance between us but I don’t know how to bridge it. She’s only a few feet ahead of me but it seems like miles stretch out between us. She takes a tentative step towards me and I let my head fall. My boots are suddenly the most interesting thing I’ve ever seen.
“I’m going to make it better, Kye. I promise you.”
My head snaps up at her softly spoken declaration. I don’t speak, just watch. She walks past me and exits the room. Stopping and turning back she says, “I never slept with him Kye. I never loved him.”
My shoulders immediately feel lighter. I straighten and turn around. She’s gone. I don’t follow. I need time... time to get over the revelation that was eating me up. Is she just telling me what she thinks I need to hear? Maybe I shouldn’t have come here.
Maybe she was happy with her false life.
Maybe... I should have let her go.
Chapter 22
Fraser
The girls look so pleased with themselves, obviously revelling in what they perceive as our switch in authority. I really can’t fathom why they hate us so much though. We’re grateful for them; we thought they knew that... I thought they knew that. I also believed that they were happy to help us, knowing the change they could make. I’ve never been hands on with the test subjects but thought I was reliably informed about their state of mind. I rely on my team to report back to me on their findings and trust their evaluations.
Dr Bowers seems to be their main focus. The saying is true – ‘if looks could kill’ then poor Dr Bowers would be worm food. Are they jealous? Dr Bowers is a dark haired beauty and extremely intelligent but I’ve witnessed her malicious streak; it’s one of the reasons we never worked out. Has she mistreated them? Was Faith mistreated?
My bindings are free and I’m sat with my hands still behind my back to keep up pretences. I have to wait for the ideal opening. I can’t let them cotton on before I’m ready to make a move. My whole body aches, I’m not used to slouching and my back is burning, my wrists are chafed and I’m tired. I feel like I’m back on the streets, reduced to a pitiful, pathetic, needy mess.
I look again at the girls standing guard. Have our experiments ruined them? I’ve never had to really think about the whys and what-if’s before. I do my job, return home and start afresh each day, but their whole demeanours scream at me. I have no choice but to sit up and notice, to confront questions stored away deep in the recesses of my mind. I’ve never been glared at with such cold eyed fury before.
Kye
I re-enter the room where the Advance tubes are still standing ominously. They seem larger than they were on my first viewing. My men have restrained Johnson and Donovan, they’re still out cold and slumped against a wall, but my men are gone. I deduce they’re checking out the other rooms that we hadn’t cleared and Faith is standing over Donovan.
She looks up at me and I haven’t the patience for this right now. I can’t be in the same room with her with all this unresolved animosity.
“Can’t you go and find something... productive to do?” It comes out harsher than I meant but seeing her staring at him has rubbed me the wrong way. I clench my jaw in frustration. Clamping my mouth together so tight I’m surprised my teeth don’t break.
Her face falls and tears fill her eyes before she pins me with her fierce, determined glare. “Oh, absolutely. I’ll find something productive to do.”
I feel like a jerk but I’m the one that’s been wronged, if I hurt her feelings then so be it, maybe she’ll get an insight of how I feel. She walks away in the direction of the eleview and I turn my back on her, not wanting to witness the hurt I caused her by being cold.
I step over to one of the tubes and study the panel next to it. I press my hand to it and it turns red - access unauthorised. If anyone has authorisation it’ll be Johnson, it doesn’t take a genius to work that out. I pick him up under his arms, grimacing at the sweat my fingers touch and try dragging him across the floor. He’s a dead weight and I start sweating myself, it’s like trying to lift a boulder. I command my legs not to buckle and step by step I get closer, dragging him and nudging him with my knees. Hell if I know how I do it, but I hoist him up enough, letting my legs take his weight so that I can press his hand to the panel.
Access granted! The door to the Advance tube slides open and I drag Johnson in. It’s a tight fit. I have to arrange him in a bunched up manner and then I step back and the door automatically closes.
I can’t wait for him to come around and realise the cluster fuck he’s in. It’s almost poetic. I prepare to do the same with Donovan but realise what a dumb shit I am for doing Johnson first. No way am I dragging him out for his print. Will Donovan’s hand grant access? I could always just cut off Johnson’s hand I guess? Hmmm.
“Sir?”
I spin around and Arlen is taking in the scene. His lip crooks slightly and I know he likes my thinking. I’m not planning on activating the tube but just holding him in there is a delicious taste of his own medicine. I want to watch him choke on it.
“Um, I’ve found something you’ll want to see,” he continues.
I nod for him to lead on and follow behind as he exits the door next to the single Advance tube. We walk along a short, white hallway, turn a corner and walk into what can only be described as a weapon room, an armoury I believe they used to be called. At a guess I’d say it was the same size as the room the Advance tubes are stored in but this room is filled with numerous display cabinets, drawers and a whole array of other storage solutions. The glass cabinets gleam. This room is immaculate and clearly very well maintained.
The display cabinets that fill the walls, house guns I have never seen befor
e. They occupy most of the wall space, black and heavy looking, some long in length, others small. I open a cabinet and pick up a hand gun? It’s weighty; I look back at Arlen. “What are these?”
“I’m not sure, Sir, but I think we might have stumbled upon weapons from days of old. You know the stories right?”
“Yes.”
I look again at the weapons wondering how they have so many. They were all meant to have been destroyed. Guns split opinions for decades, after the war it was ruled they were all to be destroyed and phasers were created instead based on the Tasers from days of old. Phasers have their problems too but they disable a person without risking killing. Guns on the other hand are dangerous because they are capable of ending life. We don’t want to kill anyone especially in my time and phasers suit that purpose. We can apprehend those that need to be without worrying about causing them anything other than pain and temporary memory loss, they can’t permanently disable a person. Shoot to kill was outlawed.
Phasers can be used at close range which most of the time we prefer but they can also release a pulse at distance when fired.
“Shit! Why are they stockpiling these? No one even knows how to use them?”
Arlen shakes his head before replying, “Only one reason I can think of to have them – killing.”
I look around the room again. “What’s in there?” I ask Arlen pointing to the other end of the room where the filing cabinet system is in place. Rows of metal drawers stacked just shy of the ceiling own the other half of the room.
He shifts nervously. “Recordings by the looks of the few drawers I rummaged in, Sir. They’re filled with discs and have names, dates and experiments written on each one. There are also what I believe to be explosive devices.”
“Discs?”
“Yes, Sir, seems like this room is for housing things from days of old.” He shrugs.
Is this what Donovan meant by ‘the tour?’ I walk over to the cabinets and start pulling drawers open. I’m not looking for anything in particular, but I feel sick knowing that these discs likely contain films of Faith. I limit myself to five drawers; if her name isn’t on any discs in those five then I’ll walk away. I don’t care about the supposed explosives, they can wait.
I randomly rifle through the drawers, flicking forward disc after disc and my relief builds. I don’t want to watch but if I find her name I know I won’t be able to resist. I’d bet my life that she hasn’t told me half of what goes on here, of what she’s been through and with a sudden blinding light of clarity I realise I don’t care about Donovan.
She didn’t love him, she loves me.
Her heartbreak at my reaction proves that. Besides that, I know with every fibre of my being that she loves me. I was being stubborn and pig-headed. My ego can deal with it, what I can’t deal with is seeing her hurting. What I can’t deal with is being without her. I don’t know when I turned into such mush but I’m man enough to admit when I’m wrong and I’m more than man enough to admit I’ve found the woman I want to be with forever. The only woman I want to spend the rest of my days with.
In the fourth drawer I flick past yet more female names, Destiny, Elegance and... Faith.
“Damn it!” Slips from my mouth as I pull three discs with her name on it from the drawer. I clamp my teeth together and focus on working my jaw as I stare at the shiny, round objects.
I spin around and address Arlen, “There must be a viewing room or device to play these on. Find it! Have the others search too. I don’t care about anything else right now. Make this a priority.”
He pauses and looks like he wants to argue, to disagree with my order, but after a beat he nods and leaves the room.
I read the discs: Faith-Adv1, Faith-Return, Faith-debrief.
Faith
I’ve been wandering around trying desperately to banish thoughts that are trying to overwhelm me. Guilt and anger are fighting for equal space in my warring brain. Walking around the labs alone with them so uncharacteristically peaceful is liberating. I’ve taken my frustrations out on a few rooms, smashed up computers and equipment and now I’m somewhat calmer and over my strop I’m going to get my sisters. Screw Kye and his judgement. I would never have deliberately hurt him but he seems to have no problem with doing it to me. I can’t believe he dismissed me, like I’m some unwanted, naughty school child. How can I fix things between us if he has no intention of being around me?
I approach the room cautiously, listening for any signs of an uprising but all is quiet. He wants me to be productive, fine. There’s nothing more productive I can think of than getting my sisters out of here. I walk through gingerly and breathe a sigh of relief when everything is as it was when I left. Hope rushes over and hugs me. She gives me a meaningful look when she spies my tear-stained face and I shake my head to let her know that no, I don’t want to talk about it.
I take the phaser from her and she seems relieved to be free of it. I walk over to the scientists. I aim it at Fraser and order him to stand up. He stares at me and then down at his tied feet as if to say ‘how do you expect me to do that?’
I huff and walk over to untie his feet, crouching at his side. Just as I finish releasing the ties he grabs the phaser. He’s so quick that I don’t have time to react, after all his hands should have been tied. Before I know it he has hold of me, my back flush against his stomach, and his arm around me holding the phaser against my chest.
“Fraser...”
“Don’t Faith, just don’t.”
“Fraser, I was untying you. I was going to let you go!”
“And why would you do that?”
“I wanted your help.”
“My help?” He laughs. “We wanted your help and we never got it. What makes you think I’d help you?”
“Tit for tat! I’ll release Johnson and let you go if you remove the chips from my sisters. I’m tired Fraser. I just want to leave; I don’t care what you do here anymore but we are leaving. I’ll kill all of you before I let us rot away here any longer.” I bring my elbow back and ram it into his ribs. His grip loosens on me and I drop down out of his hold.
I scurry backwards on my knees aware that he can still fire the phaser at me. I rise to my feet slowly and stand before the girls trying to shield them. I look over at the other scientists some of who now have their hands in front of them, restraint free and working on their ankle restraints.
“Go!” I loudly whisper to the girls who are all rooted to the spot.
“Don’t move,” Fraser orders, aiming the phaser at us.
“Go,” I repeat, knowing he can’t phaser us all at the same time. I look at Hope and nod, I can see her indecision and the moment her shoulders slump I know she’s figured the same thing as me. Leaving one behind is better than all of us being caught. They need to move before the others are all free and we’re outnumbered.
They start shuffling to the side, Hope and I trying to block them with our bodies. Fraser steps forward but I can tell he doesn’t know what to do. It doesn’t seem like he wants to hurt us but keeping us captive is clearly ingrained in him. His phaser hand wavers as he follows our movements.
“Stop. Faith... Please.”
I shake my head in defiance. “Sorry Fraser, not gonna happen. I’ll do what I have to and you do what you think is right.”
We’re a few feet from the door by now and I notice the change of expression on his face. He’s made a decision.
“Hope, whatever happens, keep going okay? Get the girls out, find help.”
The second I finish my sentence a bolt of pain shoots through my body, I can’t form any coherent thoughts. All I can focus on is the indescribable pain and the floor rushing up to meet my face.
Fraser
I rush to catch her before she hits the floor. I can’t believe I actually used it on her but I panicked. They were so close to the door I had to make a split second decision. I care not one iota that the others got away. Faith is the one I wanted, she’s the one that’s most important. I
lie her down gently on the cool tiled floor and brush her hair from her face. I pick up my discarded comm-rec and re-attach it to my wrist. I felt naked without it. I then get to work on helping my colleagues free themselves. None of us can believe that this happened. We were just going about our day to day lives, doing our jobs. Now we’re all in shock.
Some break group to use the rest rooms off an adjoining door. As I’m about to inform the remainder of the group what I think our next actions should be a muffled sound distracts me and I turn around to see Dr Bowers kicking Faith in her stomach.
“What the hell are you doing?” I snap.
“Oh, don’t get so high and mighty with me Fraser, this bitch deserves it!”
I pull her away, sickened by her actions. Has all the violence we’ve been witness to washed off on her? Has she gone crazy?
“We don’t have time for this. We need to arm ourselves and take back our laboratory. Those men could be anywhere and may come back any second. Do any of you have any ideas?”
“We don’t have weapons, you know that. The best we can do is taking a load of sedatives and pricking anyone that gets close enough.”
“Fine that’ll have to do for now but I’d feel a lot better if we could defend ourselves with something more... damaging,” I reply.
I pick Faith up and carry her to a bed trolley. I don’t restrain her; she’ll be out for a while yet but I’m not leaving her for a second. She’s my insurance policy.
“Just leave her. Why are we hauling dead weight with us? In fact, why not kill her now? She caused all this,” Dr Bowers hisses as she looks around for support.