by Mignon Mykel
Losing Bri was like having my heart ripped out of my chest, and she was only my niece.
I couldn’t even imagine if she were my child.
Cael and I had been talking about hockey last night, when he caught sight of my two newest tattoos.
He didn’t know I was adding the ribbon to the XI that all three of us boys had, or that I was inking my bracelet. The original bracelet was now tucked away safe in a dresser drawer.
I didn’t see Caleb cry at Bri’s funeral. I saw him tear up at the hospital when they first got the news, sure, but last night was the first time I think I ever saw my older brother truly break down and cry.
Thank God Logan wanted to meet for drinks, because I needed to wash some of that away. I was doing well with my emotions and the loss of Bri, and I really thought I had Asher to thank for that.
All the grown boys were on the ice, mindlessly passing a puck back and forth. Not a single one of us was in skates.
CJ had a game two nights from now, and the rest of us all played in three. It was nice to not go balls-to-the-wall every time you had a stick in your hand.
Jonny passed the puck to me; it stopped against the well-worn blade of my stick with a satisfying thump. This stick was the only survivor from high school hockey. All my others were broken or on display somewhere. “Anyone know about Myke’s guy?” Jonny asked.
My sister was arriving to the holiday festivities today—with a boyfriend.
I couldn’t remember the last time Myke brought a guy home.
I shook my head. “Nope.” I played with the puck a bit before looking up toward Parker, but passing it to CJ. Beyond Parker, I caught sight of Logan’s truck racing down the road.
“What the hell is he up to?” I asked, more to myself than anything else. CJ stopped the puck and everyone turned to watch as Logan slid to a stop near us at the pond, but still far enough from the boys that they weren’t in any danger. Immediately, my friend was out of his truck. I opened my mouth to give him hell, and to wish him a Merry Christmas, but I didn’t have a chance.
“There was an accident,” he said, making his way quickly to the pond. “I heard it from my parent’s place.” He made it onto the ice before his next words.
“I think it was Avery’s car.”
I sat in the darkening hospital room, my eyes fixed on the pulse oximeter.
Avery had to go into surgery and I saw her after she left recovery. She had broken her arm and dislocated her shoulder, as well as broken her nose, in the crash.
Asher hadn’t been awake once in the time I was here.
After Logan came down to the pond, CJ and I jumped into his truck with him, while Caleb and Jonny took the boys to the house to inform everyone else. I would never truly understand CJ and Ace’s relationship, but the kid cared about her, so why she pushed him away…
By the time Logan got us to the scene of the accident, the girls were already on their way to the hospital.
But Avery’s car…
I cleared my throat, trying to move past the tightness. I leaned forward in the recliner that I had brought to the side of Asher’s bed, and reached for her hand, mindful of the IV catheter sticking out of the back.
I squeezed her hand gently and wished she would squeeze back.
Per the police officers at the scene, the girls were sideswiped as a car tried passing them. It was a fucking six-lane highway, so why the hell the fucker…
I forced myself to take a deep breath.
Asher had been driving. The other car pushed into them and Asher ended up steering into the cement wall separating north and south-bound traffic. The jarring action, with the deployment of the airbags, was what caused Avery’s arm to get all fucked up.
The airbags, and the smoke and dust, from the accident, were what sent Asher into a severe asthma attack.
The docs had kept her comfortable when she first got here. According to them, she’d been moaning in between her wheezes. They knocked her out in case there was any internal damage.
Thank fuck, there wasn’t.
Right now, the goal was just to keep her oxygen saturations above ninety-two.
If they’d ever fucking get there.
The docs were okay with her sitting at ninety, but I would much rather she could be off oxygen, and awake and talking.
“How’s she doing?”
I looked over my shoulder at Mom as she walked in. “Can I turn on a light?” she asked when my eyes landed on her.
To be honest, I hadn’t realized how dark it had gotten in the room.
“The one over the sink is the dimmest,” I told her. I’d played with the switches an hour ago, needing the distraction.
“How’s Avery?” I asked, after Mom turned on the light.
“Better. She’s awake and talking.”
I nodded, looking back to Asher.
Still sleeping.
“Her doctor said she should be waking up soon,” I told Mom. “The meds should be wearing off.”
“Good.” Mom sat gently at the end of the bed, her hand resting on Asher’s lower leg. I could have sworn I saw Asher’s chest hitch with a double breath, but other than a brief acceleration of her heartrate on her monitors, everything remained the same.
“Did Ace say anything about the accident?” I didn’t want to take my eyes off of Asher’s face—even looking at her, I had a great peripheral view of her monitors—but I knew better than to talk to my mother without looking at her.
Mom shook her head. “Just that the car came out of nowhere. She said the thing she could remember the most was Asher’s eyes.” Mom shrugged and rubbed her hand on Asher’s leg. “I’m sure she was terrified.”
I looked back to Asher’s face. She looked comfortable now, not terrified in any way. I remembered my own accident when I was sixteen. Having a car come at you…
“Dad and I are going to head back to the house. I can bring you a bag, if you’d like. I’m assuming you’re staying.”
She assumed correctly.
However, it wasn’t as easy as just saying I was going to stay. Asher’s nurse tonight was apparently a stickler for rules, and she hadn’t been the kindest about my staying. She got the head nurse involved but, thank God, in the end I was granted approval to stay.
“Sure, yeah.” I looked back at her. “The doc said if Ash wakes up tonight and her oxygen levels return to normal, she should be able to go home tomorrow. Is Ace staying?”
“They’re keeping her in after care for a few hours. I told Avery she might be better off staying the night, but I think she and CJ need some time.”
I chuckled, even though it was slightly dry. “I will never understand those two.”
Mom just smiled. “Some things just take time. Your sister is stubborn.”
“Aren’t they all,” I murmured under my breath. Mom caught it and laughed lightly before moving in to press a kiss to the top of my head, as if I wasn’t a twenty-three-year old man.
Almost twenty-three.
“You’re not free from that statement, either, Porter love.” She squeezed my shoulder before moving around the bed to press a kiss to Asher’s forehead. My throat became tight watching it.
“Dad or I will call when we’re here with your bag. Just meet us in the lobby. I’m sure we won’t be able to come up. I’ll also bring Caine to the main house tonight.”
I nodded, thanking her, and watched as my mom left the room, before returning my attention to Ash.
I leaned forward and lifted her hand toward my mouth. It was full of tape to keep the catheter in place, but I felt better with her skin near. “Wake up, beautiful,” I said softly, my eyes fixed on her face.
I thought I heard her sigh in her sleep, but I was probably just imagining things.
But then she did it again.
I stood, moving her hand so I could sit on the bed beside her hip, putting her hand in my lap as I reached out to brush my hand over her face. It was easy to forget the b
ruising on her face before Mom flipped on the light. The dimness of it only accentuated the marks and my gut clenched.
“Hey, sweet—“ I stopped myself from calling her sweetheart. Her reaction to the nickname was one of those things that I would never forget. “Sweet girl. C’mon, beautiful, open those eyes for me.”
I watched her lips move, but didn’t hear anything. She moved them again, and I could see as her breathing accelerated. Her chest was rising and falling quickly, and her heartrate on the monitor was creeping up.
“Asher, babe. You’ve gotta calm down.” I placed my hand on her cheek, holding steady. I squeezed her hand with my other, keeping the pressure steady there too. She needed to know I was here.
Her hand squeezed against mine and I thought for sure her eyes would open then, but they didn’t. Her numbers all steadied and after a deep breath, her breathing slowed as well.
I was starting to feel like she didn’t want to wake up.
There was nothing medically keeping her asleep any more.
Whatever she saw, whatever terrified her…
It was keeping her from me.
“God, I can’t wait to play those games in the morning!” Avery laughed.
We just finished shopping and while most of the trip was to pick up things on mine and Porter’s list, Avery and I made a side trip to the game section. No more Monopoly for this family.
Oh no. We found all sorts of new games. Meme games. Sassy games. Dirty-minded games.
So many games.
I could have settled on just one, but Avery insisted on buying five different ones. She was set on having a gaming day tomorrow. “The kids will be busy with their toys; let the adults have fun too!” was her reasoning.
At Target, I couldn’t shake the feeling that someone was watching us. I told the same to Avery, who just laughed it off. I should be used to it, she tried telling me. It came with the Prescott name in this size town.
The feeling eventually receded and now we were on our way back to the house. The town roads weren’t cleaned the best after our last bout of snow, so I decided to take the freeway back.
Glancing in my rearview mirror, I saw a car gaining on us. I checked the odometer to be sure I was going at least the speed limit. Avery continued talking, but I kept my gaze on the car coming up on us. It switched lanes and I breathed a sigh of relief, tuning back into Avery.
“…Dirty Minds will be the best one,” she was saying.
I glanced over at her to agree—the back of the game looked hilarious—but my eyes widened at the car beside us, the one who sped up to meet us.
The driver looked like…
No.
It couldn’t be.
But then the driver looked at us and grinned, and I knew. I opened my mouth to say something, and my foot pressed into the gas pedal.
Before I could do anything though, the other car pushed into ours.
Hard.
I lost control of the wheel. We must have hit ice.
And then we were slammed into the wall.
I blacked out momentarily after the hit. I didn’t notice when the airbags deployed, but they were out and billowing in front of me. I looked to my side, and all I saw was blood.
Blood on Avery’s head.
Avery’s head hanging down.
Blood dripping onto the airbag in front of her.
I heard sirens just as I heard the squeal of tires pulling away. I didn’t care about the other car.
I cared about my friend.
The woman who was like a sister to me.
“Avery.”
She didn’t move.
“Avery!”
Still, nothing.
“Av’ry? Avery. AVERY!” My voice was shrill and hysterical. I slapped at her thigh, urging her to wake up. “Avery!” I looked around my car. The passenger side was completely rammed in, leaving Avery pinned between the center console and her door. Her head was draped down toward her shoulder. I didn’t want to shake her in fear I’d do something to actually hurt her, but I slapped at her thigh again. “Avery, wake up. Wakeupwakeupwakeup.” I could feel tears pouring down my face.
Again and again, I called her name, fumbling with my seatbelt to try and get to her. My body was shaking and my mind frantic. Her name on my voice was panicked.
Soon though, the panic was mixing with anxiety.
A tightness in my chest.
And tunnel vision, as my peripheral started to go black.
I couldn’t help but feel fear for how the Prescott family would react. How Porter would react.
Oh, my God. It wasn’t my fault, it wasn’t my fault.
“It wasn’t my fault. It wasn’t my fault. It wasn’t my fault…”
“Ash, beautiful. Wake up, sweet girl. No one thinks it’s your fault.”
Porter’s voice pulled to me.
Porter’s voice?
Where…?
I struggled to lift my eyelids and when I did, the room was dark. Where was I?
I looked around, trying to sit up, but a hand pushed down on my chest. “Lay down, beautiful.”
My eyes locked on Porter’s shadow. “Porter.”
“One second, babe.” I felt as he reached over me and suddenly a light appeared behind my head. I could make out my surroundings now. I was in the hospital.
Oh, God.
“Where’s Avery?” The panic was setting in again.
“Shh.” Porter rubbed his hand over the top of my chest in small circles. “You gotta stay calm, Asher. Ace is fine. Broken arm. She’s good.”
I locked my eyes on his. I’m sure they looked wild. “Blood. There was so much blood.”
“She’s fine, Ash. I promise you, she’s fine.”
I forced myself to take a deep breath and only then did I feel the prongs in my nose. I frowned and reached up to touch the tubing there. “What happened? Am I okay?”
Porter lifted his hand from my chest, brushing it over my brow and back into my hair. “You’re fine, beautiful.” He leaned in and pressed his lips to my forehead. “The accident gave you an asthma attack. The smoke and shit, the doctors said. But you’re good.”
He lifted his head then and I could see the worry etched over his features. Lines I never noticed framed his eyes and lips. “Just been waiting for you to wake up. But you’re good. Your oxygen returned to normal about an hour ago.”
I nodded and licked my dry lips. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I recognized the driver…
But it couldn’t be.
The Johnsons were in Tennessee. What in the world would he be doing in Beloit?
He couldn’t be.
It couldn’t have been him.
I didn’t realize my eyes had unfocused until a straw was pressed to my lips. I zeroed in on Porter’s face again.
“Water,” he said, and I opened my lips as he slipped the straw in. I started to take a big drink, but he pulled back. “Sips, Ash.”
I did as he said, not wanting him to take the water away. Eventually though, he did. He turned to place the cup on a rolling table and I watched as he closed his eyes, not looking at me.
“Fuck, Ash,” he finally said on an exhale. He turned his face to me before opening his eyes. “I have never been so fucking scared.”
I thought her asthma attack last summer had been bad, but pairing an attack with an accident and not knowing what the fuck was happening?
It could never happen again, and it would still be too much, too soon.
“I want to go home.” Her voice was soft.
“You can’t right now. They want to watch you overnight. Trial sleeping without oxygen. Now that you’re awake…” I reached over her for the call light paddle again. On it was the switch for the light behind her bed—which I learned after her night nurse came in a while ago—but also the nurse call button. Before I could press it though, Asher’s hand was on mine.
“I love you.”
&
nbsp; Everything in my chest grew tight again. Those words had never been more precious. “I love you too, Ash.” I leaned down to press my lips gently to hers. “I love you.”
“Will you stay?”
Now my eyes joined the tightness party and I could feel them burning. “Wasn’t planning on going anywhere, beautiful.”
Avery was released after breakfast. Asher had almost failed sleeping without oxygen and, as such, the docs wanted her to stay until lunch, “just to be sure.”
It may have been Christmas day.
I may have wanted us to be with our family.
But I needed to “be sure” as much as her docs did, that she was going to be alright, so I was good with the plan. Mom and Dad stopped in before leaving, bringing us coffee and Danish. Asher picked at it, but the doctors weren’t concerned with her lack of appetite.
I had just helped Asher into the bathroom—she was still connected to her IV pole—and was looking out the window when there was a knock on the door. I looked over my shoulder and was surprised to see Myke there.
“Hey, what’s up?” I asked, turning. I glanced at the bathroom door before moving across the room.
My oldest sister stepped in and gave me a smile that was so much like our mom’s. “How is she?”
I nodded. “Good. A little weak yet from the amount of albuterol she’s had, but she should be good to head home in a few hours.”
“That’s what I heard. I wanted you to meet Ryan though. He was hoping to stay for dinner, but he has a conference call he can’t miss.”
I lifted a brow. “On Christmas?” What kind of workaholic did my sister find for herself?
“Overseas.” She shrugged. “He’s in international business. Is it okay if he comes in?”
It was my turn to shrug. “You didn’t have to ask.”
“I wasn’t sure if Asher was up for visitors.”
“Just give her a minute then, yeah. I’m sure she’d like to meet him too.” I grinned now. “We’ve all been wondering about this elusive boyfriend you have.”
Myke laughed and shook her head. “Yeah, okay. I’ll be back. Five minutes?”
I nodded. “Yeah. That should be good.”
After she left, I walked back to the bathroom door and rapped my knuckles against it. “You doing okay, Ash?”