Willa stumbled through the following days of grief with leaden feet. After writing to inform Glen’s parents, she moved again. Glen had always been the one to say when and where they went. He knew how to erase their trail—only no matter how often they moved, he would inevitably come home one day and say they had to go again. His parents were closing in. She shared Glen’s deep-seated fear without knowing why. She knew only that his parents had the power and the money to take the children away. They said she was an unfit mother. She had been, but she was better now. Glen was the one who knew what to do. How could she fight his parents without him? She was pregnant, broke and on her own against their terrible scheme. She could think of only one way to keep her children safe. She had to run.
Someone grabbed her arm. Willa jerked upright. It took her a few seconds to gather her foggy wits. The wagon had stopped moving. She found her Amish Good Samaritan staring at her.
“You were asleep. I feared you’d falla out da wagon.”
She checked her daughters and found them awake, too. “I guess I was more tired than I thought.”
He released her. “Is this your grandfather’s place?”
She looked past him and saw a mailbox for E. Lapp. A glance up the lane proved she had arrived at her destination, for she recognized the farm where she’d grown up. “It is. Girls, we are here. Thank the nice man for giving us a ride.”
Lucy did. Megan only glared at him. Willa got down and lifted them off the wagon without his help. He touched the brim of his hat and drove on. He glanced back once. Willa knew because she was still standing by the mailbox looking after him. She raised her hand in a simple wave. He did the same and then turned back to the road.
The Amish were quiet, kind, peaceful people. Willa had forgotten how unassuming they could be during the years she had been away. Her Good Samaritan hadn’t asked a single question about who she was or why she was in the middle of nowhere with two little children. She was glad he hadn’t. She hated the idea that she might have had to lie to him.
She watched the burly man drive away with a sense of loss, almost as if she were losing a gentle giant of a friend. Although he was a stranger, she had felt safe in his company. For the first time since her panicked flight from Columbus, she felt hopeful about her decision to return to her Amish grandfather. It had to be the right choice. She didn’t have another option.
She cupped a hand over her abdomen and raised her chin. Time was short, but she would find a safe place for her daughters and her unborn baby before it was too late.
Adjusting her bag on her shoulder, she shepherded her tired girls up the dirt lane. When she drew close to the house, she saw an elderly man standing on the farmhouse steps. It had been ten years since they’d last met. It wasn’t a time she liked to recall. She stopped a few feet away. “Hello, Grandfather.”
Ezekiel Lapp’s weathered face gave no indication of what he was thinking. His dark Amish clothing, full gray beard and black hat added to his somber appearance, but he was frailer and thinner than she remembered. Her daughters clung to her legs as they peered at him from behind her.
“Why have you come?” he asked.
“I wanted you to meet my daughters. This is Megan and this is Lucy.” Willa placed a hand behind their heads and urged them to step forward. Lucy faced him, but Megan spun around and retreated behind Willa again.
“Hi.” Lucy opened and closed her fingers to wave at him.
“Where is your Englisch husband?” Ezekiel asked, ignoring the child.
“Glen passed away six months ago.”
* * *
“It was Gott’s will, but I am sorry for your loss,” Ezekiel said softly in Pennsylvania Deitsh, the language of the Amish.
Willa blinked back tears. The pain was still fresh in her heart. “Danki. Thank you.”
“Mama is sad,” Megan said.
“I sad,” Lucy added. “I’m cold, Mama.”
The early fall wind had a bite to it. Willa shivered despite the coat she wore. It wasn’t heavy enough, but it was the only one she had that she could button across her pregnant stomach.
“Come inside.” Ezekiel turned and went in the house without waiting for them.
Relief made Willa’s knees weak. So far, so good.
She had no idea what she would do if he turned them away. She had spent the last of her money to get this far. Unless her grandfather took them in, they would be sleeping in a barn or under a bridge tonight. She climbed the steps with the girls close beside her.
Inside the house, little had changed since the day her parents walked away from their Amish life with her in tow. The wide plank floor of the kitchen had been scrubbed clean. A simple table with four chairs sat in the center of the room. The windows were free of shades or curtains, for an upright Amish family in her grandfather’s ultraconservative church had nothing to hide from the outside world. A single plate, cup and fork in the dish drainer by the sink proved her grandfather still lived alone. The room smelled faintly of bleach and stout coffee. The scent transported her to the past the way nothing else had done.
She had been fifteen the last time she stood in this room, completely confused by the family quarrel taking place. One day she was Amish and knew her place in the world. She knew what was expected of her. She had been a week away from her baptism. The next week she was an awkward, shy, frightened girl trying to fit into the perplexing English world her parents had chosen.
Her Amish childhood had been filled with hard work, but she had been happy here. If her grandfather took them in, she could be happy here again. Nothing mattered as long as she had her children with her.
She led her girls to the heavy wood-burning cookstove and held out her hands to the welcome heat. “Don’t touch. It’s very hot,” she cautioned them.
“Are your children hungry?” her grandfather asked, speaking Deitsh.
“I’m sure they are.”
“Have them sit.” He walked to the counter and opened a drawer.
Willa helped the girls out of their coats and seated them at the table. She hung their coats on pegs by the front door and then stood behind her daughters, not daring to assume the invitation included her.
He scowled when he turned around. “Sit. I will not eat with you, but I am permitted to feed the hungry as our Lord commanded us. Then you must go.”
Willa’s heart sank, but she held on to the hope that he would change his mind when he learned the details of her situation. She took a seat at the table and waited while her grandfather prepared church spread for her daughters.
A mixture of peanut butter, marshmallow cream and maple syrup, the tasty treat was often served on bread or used as a dip for apples or pears. He spread it on thick slices of homemade bread and set it on plates in front of them. It was just as good as Willa remembered...
The girls loved it. When they were finished eating, she led them to the stark living room and settled them for a nap on the sofa.
When she was sure they were sleeping, she returned to the kitchen. Her grandfather sat at the table with a cup of coffee in his hands.
She stood across from him and laid a protective hand on her stomach. “I have no money. I have no job. I don’t have a place to live, and my baby is due the second week of January.”
Willa thought she glimpsed a flash of sympathy in his eyes. “Your husband’s family will not help you?”
A chill slipped over her skin. She crossed her arms to ward it off. They were the ones claiming she was an unfit mother because of her mental breakdown. According to Glen, they had paid an unscrupulous judge to grant them custody of the twins while she was in the hospital. Willa knew nothing about the law, but without money and without Glen to help her, they would succeed in taking her children away. She couldn’t allow that. “Nee, you are my last hope.”
* * *
Her grandfather took a sip of his coffee. “I have no money to give you.”
“I don’t want money. I wish to return to the Amish faith.” She held her breath, hoping he believed her.
He was silent for a long time. She waited and prayed for his forgiveness and for his understanding.
He shook his head. “I can’t help you. You must go.”
She couldn’t bear to hear those words. Not after she had come so far. Tears sprang to her eyes, but she blinked them back. “Please, I’m begging you. I have nowhere else to go. Don’t turn us away. We are your flesh and blood.”
His brow darkened. “You come to me wearing Englisch clothes, with your shorn hair and your head uncovered. I see no repentance in you. I have heard none from your lips, yet you say you want to be Amish again. You share in the shame your father brought to this house.”
“I was a child. I had no choice but to go with my parents.”
“You chose to remain in the Englisch world all these years, even after the death of my son and his wife. You could have come back then. I would have taken you in. Nee, I will not help you now. This suffering, you have brought on yourself.” He rose, put on his hat and coat and went out the door.
Willa sat at the table and dropped her head on her crossed arms as she gave in to despair. Gut-wrenching sobs shook her body. Why was God doing this? Hadn’t she suffered enough? How much more would He ask of her?
Chapter Two
“I’m sorry I’m late. I had a few unexpected delays.” John stepped down from his wagon as Melvin Taylor came out of the house to meet him.
“You said you’d be here today. It’s still today.” Melvin pushed the brim of his red ball cap up with one finger and grinned.
Relief made John smile. Melvin appeared to be the understanding sort and a rare Englisch fellow in John’s book—one who wasn’t in a rush. His hopes for more work from the man rose.
“Can’t thank you enough for taking on my little project.”
“I enjoyed restoring it.” He loved re-creating useful things from the past.
Melvin rubbed his hands together. “Well, don’t keep me in suspense any longer. How did it turn out?”
“I’ll let you be the judge.” Moving to the back of the wagon, John untied the ropes and lifted the tarp covering his load. The antique blue-and-gold sleigh had made the journey unharmed.
“I knew she was a beauty under all that neglect.” Melvin drew his fingers along the smooth, elaborately curved metal runner. “I’m right pleased with your work, John Miller.”
“Danki.”
It had taken John weeks to duplicate all the missing pieces in his forge and assemble it. After he replaced the tattered upholstery with a plush blue tufted fabric, the result was well worth his time and effort. The Portland Cutter would glide through the snow as neatly now as it had a hundred and fifty years ago.
He had managed to turn back the hands of time for the sleigh. If only he could change one hour of the past for himself.
Such a thing wasn’t possible. He had to spend the rest of his life knowing his pride had cost the life of the only woman he would ever love. His penance was to go on living without her. Hard work at his forge was the only way he kept the long hours of loneliness at bay.
Melvin stepped back from the wagon with a big grin on his face. “Would you be willing to take on another project for me?”
John tried not to sound too eager. “I’d have to see it first and we would have to agree on a price.”
“Sure. I think you’ll like my latest find.”
John followed the childishly eager man to a large shed. Melvin pushed open the sliding door with a flourish to reveal a half dozen sleighs. Five were in pristine condition. Only one needed restoration work. A lot of work.
Melvin patted the faded front seat, sending a small cloud of dust into the air. “I found this vis-à-vis sleigh at a farm sale about an hour north of here.”
John walked around the vehicle, assessing what needed to be fixed. Vis-à-vis sleighs were easily recognizable. They consisted of a raised coachman’s seat and two lower passenger seats behind the driver that faced each other. They had originally been used in cities where well-to-do people were driven about during the winter to parties and such.
He checked the floorboards first. They were rotten. That was to be expected. Three of the ornate lantern holders were missing, but he could duplicate them from the one remaining. The runners looked sound. They must have been repaired at some time in the past. The upholstery definitely needed replacing, but the wooden frames of the seats looked in good shape. “I can have it ready in three weeks, maybe less.”
He could finish it in two weeks, but he didn’t want to lock himself into a shorter time frame. More pressing work might come up. Better to finish earlier than promised rather than later.
“Awesome. To have it finished before Christmas, that will be great. Let’s hope for plenty of snow.” They agreed on the price and the men shook hands.
“Shall I ship it to you?” Melvin asked as they walked toward the door.
“I figured the cost of transporting it home and bringing it back myself in my estimate. If I have to hire someone to ship it back, that will be an additional charge.”
“Agreed. I’ll help you get the other one unloaded and this one strapped on, and then we can have a cup of coffee. The missus put on a fresh pot when she saw you drive in.” The two men walked toward the house.
Unbidden, the thought of the young mother he’d met earlier entered John’s mind. He should have asked her name. Melvin might know. Although her business was none of his, John’s curiosity got the better of him. He glanced at Melvin. “I met someone on my way here who said she knew you.”
“Oh? Who might that be?”
John unstrapped one side of the sleigh and tossed the lines to Melvin. “She said Ezekiel Lapp is her grandfather. I gave her a lift to his place.”
Melvin’s bushy eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Willa Lapp has come home?”
“She didn’t give her name.”
“It has to be Willa. Ezekiel only had one son and one grandchild. I haven’t seen that sweet girl in years. How is she?”
So her name was Willa. “She looked fine. She had two daughters with her. Twins about three years old.” He and Melvin lifted the sleigh down and carried it to the shed.
Melvin put down his end and leaned on the upholstered back. “Little Willa is a mother, if that don’t beat all. I sure can’t imagine her grown and married with kids. I hope Ezekiel has the good sense to let bygones be bygones. He’s a lonely old man. His wife passed on years ago. Then his son left the Amish and took his wife and Willa with him. I heard Ezekiel’s church shunned them, so I reckon he had to, as well.”
That brought John up short. Was Willa an excommunicated member of the Amish church? If so, her relationship with her grandfather was much more complicated than a non-Amish person like Melvin realized. To willingly take the vow of baptism and then break that vow was a serious offense. John started to wish he hadn’t asked about her.
“It broke the old man’s heart. He wouldn’t even speak his son’s name. I thought the Amish forgave everyone. Don’t they forgive their own for leaving?”
“If a person leaves before they are baptized, they are not shunned. If a baptized member repents and confesses their sins, they will be forgiven and welcomed back into the church.” Perhaps that was why Willa had returned after so many years.
“And if they don’t repent, they have to be shunned forever?”
“That is our belief.”
Melvin shook his head. “The Amish folks around here are fine people and good neighbors, but I don’t expect I’ll ever really understand them.”
Embarrassed that he had pried into Willa’s personal life when she hadn’t sha
red anything, he decided to dismiss her from his mind and changed the subject. “How did you get into collecting sleighs?”
Melvin happily shared the story of his passion while the men loaded the vis-à-vis.
An hour later, John left Melvin’s farm with his thermos full of coffee and a dozen oatmeal cookies in a box under his seat. He would spend the night again with his cousins near Berlin and be home by late afternoon on Monday. As the mailbox for Ezekiel Lapp came into view, John slowed his team and looked toward the house.
His own sister hadn’t joined the faith, choosing instead to marry a non-Amish fellow. Many Amish families had Englisch children and grandchildren who were accepted and cherished. He prayed that Willa and her daughters would find kindness and acceptance, too.
He slapped the reins to get his team moving faster. It was a long way to Bowmans Crossing. He had no cause to worry about a stranger and her family. He would never see them again. They were in God’s hands.
* * *
Willa raised her head and saw it was almost dark outside. She must have fallen asleep. Her head hurt from crying. She rose stiffly and stretched her aching back, then wiped her damp cheeks as she looked around. Were the girls still sleeping? That would be unusual.
She checked in the living room. The sofa was empty. She called their names, but neither of them answered. Where were they? Panic uncoiled inside her. Their coats were gone from the pegs where she had hung them. She yanked open the front door and saw them come out of the barn walking beside her grandfather.
Lucy saw her first and came running. “Mama, I saw a cow.”
Willa’s pounding heart slowed with relief. She dropped to one knee and hugged Lucy. “Did you? Was she a nice cow?”
Lucy nodded. “She licked her nose like this.” Lucy stuck her tongue out and tried to touch it to her nose.
Amish Christmas Twins Page 2