by Kim Harrison
I didn’t understand this. My entire life would be decided in the next five minutes, the lives of Ivy and Jenks, the safety of all good people, and here I was delighting in the smell of the seaweed and how the sun shone on the tiny little bugs darting on the hard-packed shore.
“Vivian,” I said, forcing myself to look back to her. “Oh, Vivian,” I said, softer when I saw her fear.
“I’m fine,” she asserted, her voice shaking. “Trent isn’t answering his phone. I’m sorry. I’ll keep trying. I think he flew back to Cincinnati with his little girl. What else can I do? I want to help.”
The woman was terrified, and my heart went out to her. She had fought Ku’Sox for three days, seen two of her peers eaten alive. And yet she stood by me, ready to fight to the last. I didn’t want her here. I needed her in the city finding me a collective.
My hair lifted in the wind off the bay, and I smiled at the feeling. Focus, Rachel, focus. “Will you go back to the city for me?” I said, figuring the I.S. “driver” had left the keys.
“L-leave you?” she stammered, and I took her arm, leading her back to the van. “I can help!”
“I’m counting on it,” I said. “I need you to go back. Stop at every church you can find. There are people there, right? Get them to ring the bells for me.”
She stared, her blue eyes going wide. “For a collective,” she said breathily, realizing what I was asking. A city-wide collective hadn’t happened since the Turn. It was both a warning and a gathering. An act of trust. I didn’t know if they would help or not, but if they didn’t, then I would fail and they would suffer.
“I’ll do it,” she said, her voice trembling. “Rachel, if I have to light a fire in the middle of San Francisco, I will get you a collective. I promise.”
Somehow I managed a smile, and I stumbled when she gave me a quick hug. Her eyes were brimming when she stepped back.
I blinked fast, trying not to tear up. “Thanks,” I said, and her dusty shoes with the little bows scraped as she started to drift backward. “Don’t take too long.”
Nodding, she turned and went back to the van. The door creaked as it opened, and her slight figure made the jump inside. “At least there won’t be any traffic,” she said, and the door thumped closed.
The rumble of the van echoed against the abandoned buildings as the engine turned over. I felt Pierce’s presence beside me, and together we watched her pull away. The sound of the van quickly vanished, and we were alone. Sort of. Ku’Sox was here somewhere.
Nervous, I rubbed my palms together and breathed in the last of the exhaust fumes. “You don’t think they dropped us off at the wrong beach, do you?” I asked, and Pierce took my shoulders and turned our backs on the bay to look up to the hills of San Francisco. From here, everything looked normal, if a shade quiet and with the air markedly clean. If I had to do this with someone, I could do far worse than Pierce.
“Rachel,” Pierce said, the depth of the emotion in his voice stopping me cold. He was going to say something, overcompensating for his part in getting me cursed. But I was a demon and he had devoted his life to killing them. I didn’t want to hear it.
“Wait,” I interrupted, turning to find that he was too close. I didn’t move as he reached to steady me, his hand not falling when I found my balance. His dusty hair was all over, making him look endearing as he squinted from the wind off the bay. The slant to his eyes was determined, and I knew he had the strength to back up whatever he deemed a worthy task. He thought he loved me, even forgiving me for having prevented him from killing Al, and it was breaking my heart.
And I will cry when I go because I could love you forever.
I couldn’t love him. It would destroy him slowly, and I didn’t want that.
I leaned toward him, wishing I didn’t stink of the ever-after and demons. He blinked as he saw my intention, and his hands moved, one sliding behind my neck and the other holding firmly to my fingers. My head tilted and my lips opened. They met his in a shock of ley line, and I quivered.
I felt a tear slip out as Pierce held me, space between us as we kissed, leaving me aching when our lips parted. I didn’t know why I’d done it, except that I might die today. At least I’d die in the sun.
“Pierce,” I said softly, our kiss ended but our foreheads still touching. “I can’t—”
We shifted apart, and he put a finger to my lips. I could taste his salt, and I blinked fast.
“I know,” he said, his eyes flicking behind me to the water for a moment as if unable to hold my gaze. “Don’t say it,” he asked. “Wait until the sun sets tonight, and if we are both here to see it, then my heart will break knowing you are safe and yet not to be mine. If you are gone, then my heart will break knowing that God has taken you home, because there is no way in hell that that demon Ku’Sox is going to kill you. I won’t allow it.”
There was a lump in my throat, and I wiped my eyes, only to get the grit of sand in them.
“No,” I said, taking a step back until his hands fell from me. “Pierce, I don’t love you.” His lips twitched, hearing a lie that wasn’t there, and I took his hands. “I don’t love you,” I said again, my throat closing up. “I loved the idea of you and me together, and from that, maybe someday love could have come, but that isn’t going to happen. Ever. I am a demon.”
He took a breath to protest, his eyes wild and his denial obvious. “You are not.”
My eyes dropped to his hands holding mine, seeing his calluses and strength. “I am. I did something no witch, no male demon can do, and all the demons agree. There’s no way around it. It’s not like I wanted this.” My voice had gotten squeaky, and I looked up, seeing panic in him.
“It’s okay,” I whispered, sniffing back a tear before it showed. “It doesn’t mean I’m bad, but it does mean that there is no way that…” I stopped. It was too hard to say.
His grip on mine tightened, but I felt dead inside. “I’m not afraid.” Pierce’s hand drew me closer, and I resisted until he eased his pull.
“I’d never hurt you,” I protested, remembering him standing before Ku’Sox, fighting for my safety, risking his life for me. What person wouldn’t be humbled by that? Grateful?
His gaze jumped to mine, his anger lighting his eyes. “I meant I’m not afraid of love being difficult. If it was easy, then everyone would find it. But have it your way.”
He turned away, and I reached after him, saying nothing as my hand dropped. It was better this way. “Perhaps you should call him out,” Pierce suggested, angrily looking at the hills.
I nodded, even as my stomach clenched. I’d told him I didn’t love him, and he didn’t seem to care. I’d told him I was a demon, and he’d said so what? Then told me love was hard. I knew that, but it shouldn’t be impossible.
Shoes silent on the pavement, I walked across the street to the beach, stepping up onto the cement bench next to the boarded-up restrooms. It was covered in gang runes, and my feet spread wide, I cupped my hands around my mouth. Damn it, why couldn’t I have a normal life?
“Ku’Sox!” I shouted up into the park, my frustration giving my voice some anger. “You have something that belongs to me!”
The radio, I realized, was playing bouncy beach music. With a sudden snap, it vanished. My pulse hammered, and I glanced at Pierce. He was standing with his hands clasped, ready to fight for me, even after I’d told him I didn’t love him. Why?
“Just a minute!” Ku’Sox shouted back, and my lips parted. I did not believe this. Just a minute? Had he really told me to wait?
Pierce shrugged, and I jumped from the bench. “You might want to put some space between us if you want to stay alive,” I suggested, forcing myself not to touch my splat gun.
Pierce put his hands on his hips, flicking his duster back. “You might want to put yourself in a bubble to do the same.”
What was I thinking, taking Ku’Sox on without Al? But he had Ivy and Jenks, and I wasn’t going to wait.
A soft scrape of bo
ot on stone pulled my head around and I felt the blood drain from my face. It was Ku’Sox, his arm around Ivy’s neck and his other hand twisting her arm painfully behind her as he forced her down the park steps.
“Let me go, you freak!” I heard her sputter as she strained to break his grip, but it was useless. One of her eyes was black, and she had a split lip.
“Jenks!” I shouted as they reached the bottom, and I pulled out the splat gun, my grip sweaty and the ley line I was connected to seeming to jump in me. “Where’s Jenks?”
Ku’Sox stopped in the middle of the street, his steel gray hair close to his head, shining in the sun like raven wings. Looking as if he was enjoying himself, he tugged Ivy around to be his shield. “Tell her what happened to the pixy,” he said softly, whispering it into her ear as his eyes bored into mine and the wind played with his hair.
My heart almost stopped. Jenks…
“He’s okay!” Ivy said, Ku’Sox’s hand going white-knuckled as he gripped her throat. “Short dick here had to lock him in a box. Jenks kept slicing his ear off.”
Ku’Sox bore down on her, and she choked, falling to one knee.
“Hey!” I shouted, taking a step forward, splat gun raised. “Let her go. It’s me you want.” God, I felt as if I were in a western. Hand over the little lady there, partner, and we’ll settle this like men. I was so screwed.
Ku’Sox grinned, showing his small white teeth. “Does it bother you?” he asked, yanking her up and dragging her through the rubble that littered the street. Her foot got wedged between two rocks, and he yanked her free. My face went blank at her muffled grunt of pain.
Fingers shifting on the butt of my weapon, I said, “Let her go, and come over here. I’ll whisper in your ear how bothered I am.”
Confident and sure of himself, Ku’Sox stopped at the curb. His hand opened, and Ivy fell, her elbow slicing open on a chunk of ragged concrete. Head down so her hair hid her face, she pulled herself together, lashing out with her good foot, making Ku’Sox dance sideways.
I shot at him as he was distracted, but he raised a bubble, absorbing it.
Ivy, though, was free, and my heart quickened. I slowly continued to draw that broken energy into me, pulling it from the jagged lines and trying to organize it.
“I only snapped every bone in her body and mended it to get you to come face me,” he said, mocking me as he grabbed her shoulder and pinned her where she sat. “It took me a day before I realized you were unconscious and not simply afraid, but I thought, why stop now? I was bored, so she got a little more. We had fun, didn’t we, Ivy girl?”
I seethed, my hands in fists, as Ivy didn’t look up.
“It was only play,” Ku’Sox was saying. “Nothing permanent. I—”
In a smooth motion, I pushed the energy from my chi into my hand. Grunting, I threw it. There was probably little besides eating her that Ku’Sox could do to Ivy that Piscary hadn’t done already, but something in me had snapped.
Ivy screamed defiantly, kicking his feet out from under him and rolling away before the demon could direct my energy into her. Ku’Sox fell, arms flailing. My ball of unfocused energy arched to him.
“Celero inanio!” I shouted, exploding it right above him.
He cowered, a dark sheet of ever-after snapping over him. I knew such a common spell wouldn’t hurt him, but it shut him up.
Ivy had staggered to her feet and was limping fast to Pierce, not me. Wise woman. I needed room to work, and I shifted my stance for better purchase.
“Oh, really. Grow up, will you?” Ku’Sox muttered as he got to his feet and his bubble flickered out of existence.
There was a tweak on my awareness as he pulled heavily on a line. Not trusting anything but a well-drawn circle, I dove to the side, landing with my back to that squat building between Ku’Sox and me. I watched his black ball of nastiness thump into the sand at the edge of the sidewalk. Water and grit sprayed up, a tiny crater hissing as it cooled to a green, milky glass.
“That’s how the big boys do it,” he said with satisfaction, but I couldn’t see him. Crap, I had to get away from this building before he simply blew it up around me.
“Ivy?” I called, praying as I hurriedly sketched a circle around me. He’d simply break through it, but there were no bells ringing yet. I had to stall him.
“I’m good!” came back, and I crab-walked to the edge of the building and looked, seeing her with Pierce, crouched beside a broken bench. They were both inside an uninvoked circle, relatively safe.
“Keep her alive,” I mouthed, and he nodded, even as Ivy read my lips and grimaced.
The clink of sliding rubble jerked my attention back to the beach where a black, oily smoke drifted from the person-size crater.
“I can hear you…Rachel,” Ku’Sox mocked, his voice coming closer as I edged back to my circle. “I hear you breathing.”
I couldn’t help it, and I held my breath, sitting with my back against the building. My heart pounded, and sweat made clean tracks in the dust on my arms. I listened for the sound of church bells, hearing nothing. Come on, Vivian…
“How sweet of you to have come back, thinking you could best me,” he said, a rock clinking closer. “It took six demons to shove me under that rock they built the arch over, and I killed one of them in the process. Almost got Newt, too. Sweet little Newt, more trusting than you, even after I had convinced her to kill all her sisters. You should have waited until dark. Al can’t help you, but at least you wouldn’t die alone.”
“I don’t need Al’s help to squish a bug like you,” I said, teeth gritted as I attempted to figure out where he was by his voice. Trying to be quiet, I pulled away from the building, an odd sort of pain drifting through me as the curse made for him felt him and started to align itself. Pieces of me that didn’t fit, chunks of Ku’Sox’s curse. Slowly I gathered them together in my chi, praying for bells. Just one. But there was nothing.
“Don’t need Al’s help?” he said, and with a sideways step, the demon appeared from behind the side of the old bathroom, cocky and sure of himself with the sun in his hair and his lips curved up in amusement. Crap, he was almost on top of me. “You’re stupider than I thought,” he finished, smiling.
Pain exploded from nowhere inside. My concentration shattered, and the bits of the curse I’d pulled from myself sprang back into place with a twang. My knees gave way and I hit the pavement beside the building, burning in agony. It felt like my lungs were exploding. Teeth clenched, I lifted my head to find Ku’Sox standing beside the building, a bundle of cloth in his hands. Great, he had a focusing object. He didn’t have to throw charms at me. He could just wish on a star.
“Oh God,” I moaned, feeling the cramping slither across my heart and wend its way to my gut. Panting, I tried to inch my fingers to my scribed circle, but I couldn’t focus long enough to even find a ley line. I took a gasping breath as I realized that there was a pair of black slippers in front of me. He’d moved, and I hadn’t even noticed. But in all fairness, it was hard to see around the pain.
“That was so easy, it wasn’t any fun at all.” Ku’Sox pouted.
I looked up, squinting at the doll with red hair and leather boots, and I got a clean, albeit ragged, breath as his fingers loosened on it. “Wanna play dolls?” he asked me, and pursed his lips, exhaling.
I flung myself backward, landing against the building. My lungs were suddenly overflowing with air, feeling as if they were going to burst even as the hot, moist breath lacking any oxygen at all filled them. I was suffocating, though I heaved for air. One hand on my throat, the other on the ground scrabbling for the circle, I saw a movement behind Ku’Sox, a soft ghost of gray. I tried not to look, but Ku’Sox noticed my eyes, turning in time to see Pierce winding up with a black ball of hurt dripping in his hand.
“Compages!” Ku’Sox shouted, and a shimmering protection bubble flashed into existence, breathtaking in its utter sordidness. This was true smut, making the black shimmer on my own aura lo
ok like a drop of oil in the ocean. Pierce’s curse hit Ku’Sox’s protective bubble and bounced right back at Pierce.
It was a beautiful bit of defensive magic, but it cost Ku’Sox his concentration. The pain in my chest vanished. My head came up, and I took in a huge gulp of air. In an instant, I read the strength Pierce’s thrown curse had absorbed from Ku’Sox’s bubble, knowing that the ill-made, green-tinted circle Pierce had taken refuge in wasn’t going to hold against it. The curse had Pierce’s aura and would go right through.
My eyes narrowed, and still on the ground, I whispered, “Rhombus.”
The rusty, broken West Coast ley line limped into me, and I wrestled with it, trying to get some semblance of order, but it was thin, ragged. My circle was huge, me at its center, as all theoretical, undrawn circles are, the edge of it just shy of Pierce and Ivy. They were outside my circle, but Ku’Sox and the deadly curse he had bounced back at Pierce were inside.
I grunted when Pierce’s curse hit the inside of my bubble, absorbing most of the energy from his magic as it tore through my circle and hit Pierce square on, having passed right through his bubble as if it didn’t exist.
“No!” I cried out as the curse struck Pierce and he fell, mouth open in a silent scream. “God, no!” I called again, struggling to get up as the curse spread to Ivy, and they both collapsed under a green-tinted wash of ever-after.
Mouth agape, Ku’Sox spun to me, his shock clear. “You…,” he managed, and then I saw Pierce move, his chest rising and falling as he lay stunned by his own magic. They were alive. They were out cold, but they were alive. Thank you, God, they were alive!
“Clever,” Ku’Sox managed, clearly peeved that I’d managed to save them, and I kicked him with all the force I had.