She reached down to pet Dove’s head, rubbing her ears.
The animal gave her a sleepy doggy smile and licked her hand.
Lily looked up at the sky, saying a prayer for guidance. Afterward, feeling more at ease, she watched a squirrel jump from one branch to another in a tall pine, silhouetted against the deep blue hues of the Montana sky she’d come to love.
With the sixth sense she seemed to have developed around Tyler, Lily sensed his presence before she heard Domino’s hoofbeats. In the last few days, Tyler had ridden with her while she drove the buggy to a spot where he thought she could safely paint. Then he’d leave to attend to his ranch work, returning to check on her several times, often bringing food or something to drink. Twice, they’d shared a picnic and talked.
He hadn’t kissed her again, but the awareness of those moments in the moonlight had shimmered between them. He found little excuses to touch her, tucking her hair behind her ears, taking her hand to help her over perfectly even ground, tapping her shoulder to get her attention and then pointing out something of interest, sitting close to her when he drove her someplace in the wagon.
Lily had welcomed every touch—stored them in her body like a stone gathered the heat of the sun. She knew now that prior to meeting Tyler, she’d only lived in the shadows. In these past few days, she’d finally stepped into the light and felt happy and alive. But each day was also tinged with sorrow because she could never completely forget this magical time would come to an end. The awareness made her desperately cling to each memory as she made it.
Now, as Tyler moved into the meadow, their eyes met and neither could look away. He wore a solemn expression, yet the spark in his gray eyes kindled a fire Lily could feel in her chest.
With athletic grace, he swung down from the horse and tied the reins to the low branch of a pine tree. Unbuckling his saddlebag, he took out a bundle, and then strode over to her, one arm slightly behind his back, so she couldn’t see what he held.
Cookies, she supposed.
Happy to see him, she gave him her hand. “I’ve finished. Look.” With her other hand she gestured to the drawing. “But I want to do another one, just in case.”
He squeezed her hand and didn’t release her as he studied the picture. “Looks perfectly fine to me. Even better than the original.”
She laughed. “I’m not a better artist than God, Tyler.”
“How ’bout as good as the original?”
Lily blushed. “Thank you. I need to get it right. This is important to me.”
“They’re just wildflowers,” he teased.
“If Mrs. Regis-Smith chooses my drawings…she could reject them, you know. That will establish me as a botanical artist,” Lily said, trying to make him understand. “I’ll receive other commissions.” Her voice grew passionate. “Be able to provide for myself and not be dependent on my father. I can leave a legacy for future generations.” Her voice dropped, “Give my life meaning.”
His gaze gentle, Tyler brushed her cheek with one finger. “You have meaning to me, Lil. To all of us at Green Valley Ranch.”
Emotion clogged her throat. She swallowed, took a deep breath, and changed the conversation to a safer topic. “If you don’t mind my abusing your hospitality, I’d like to ship the drawings off to Mrs. Regis-Smith tomorrow and remain here for another few days. I want to paint some pictures to give as gifts. My way of showing my appreciation for what everyone has done for me. Would that be all right?”
Tyler dropped a kiss on the top of her hand. “More than all right. Although I do have another way for you to show your appreciation.” Pulling up his hidden arm, he started to extend his hand, then released her and unwound a navy blue handkerchief to expose a lace bundle. “Oliver made this for you. In a way, it’s from both of us.”
What could he possibly mean? Lily took the parcel with both hands. Setting it in her lap, she slowly unwrapped a homemade book. Her lips curved in a smile at the heavy crooked printing, addressing the gift to her, and she fingered the blue ribbon. “How clever of him.”
“He has a message for you.”
Tyler’s serious tone made apprehension curl around her spine. She opened the book, began to page through, glancing at the familiar pictures and stopping to examine the ones she hadn’t yet seen. Each turn of the page tightened a twist of emotion around her heart. Oliver, dear, dear Oliver. Her lips trembled. She tried hard to keep the feelings locked away.
When she reached the last page, seeing Oliver’s dream of her and Tyler married, tears blurred the portrait. She ran her fingers over the page as if she could absorb the scene and wished with all her heart it could come true.
How could she though? Agreeing to wed him wouldn’t be fair when she couldn’t be the wife he wanted. To stop such imaginings, Lily gave a little shake of her head.
Tyler shifted.
She glanced up at him; saw by the pained look on his face that he’d caught her message.
“I’ll tell him no, then?”
She couldn’t speak, could barely nod.
“I’ll explain…” His voice thickened. “You’re going to be a famous artist, and for that you’ll need to leave us.”
Lily almost stopped him, explained about the lack of babies. But he could hardly give that explanation to his son. Better they both think her reason was because of her art.
“I’ll leave you to finish up.” He touched his hat and walked away, his back stiff.
Lily pressed her hand to her chest to hold in the pain. Biting back a sob, she turned her head, unable to bear watching him ride away.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
The next morning, Lily watched the train depart from Sweetwater Springs, carrying all her hopes for the future. Or what used to be all her hopes before she’d come to this town. But this morning she couldn’t muster much enthusiasm for her completed artwork. She kept thinking of the set of Tyler’s shoulders when he’d walked away from her…Oliver’s woebegone face at supper…how they both had avoided looking at her.
After supper last night, Tyler had announced that in the morning, he planned to ride out, checking the boundaries, and would be gone for a few days. That made it easy for Lily to stay at the ranch with the excuse—at least that’s what she told herself—that she needed to paint some pictures for the Thompsons, Mrs. Pendell, Pepe, and of course, Tyler and Oliver. But she also knew when Oliver came home from school that she’d have to explain…somehow find a way to tell the boy that she loved him yet would still have to leave. How can I do that?
Once the train chugged out of sight, Lily turned and walked back toward the little buggy, her steps heavy. Glancing over at the brick mercantile, Lily decided to go inside and buy some candy for Oliver and maybe just browse. She crossed the dirt street and went inside.
A tall, thin man, with a circle of hair on his bald head and a bulbous red nose, stood behind the counter. He nodded at her.
Lily inclined her head in return.
The smell of vinegar from the pickle crock near the door tickled her nose. Lily looked around, ignoring the man-things like tools and farm implements, and focused on bolts of material and a rack of straw hats, trailing colored ribbons.
She noted that, unlike many country stores, the Cobbs carried shelves of new clothing and pairs of shoes and boots. Several skirts and shirtwaists hung from pegs on the wall. A dress form held a lace-edged black gown. A red silk scarf caught her eye, and she thought to buy it for Mrs. Pendell.
In a long rack in the back, Lily found the section of already-worn clothes—often fancy apparel that had been discarded or sold by the previous owners. The fine clothing was often cheaper than the more sturdy everyday wear because stores struggled to sell the garments. She ran a hand over a black silk waistcoat and shook her head at the notion that some cowboy might wear it while chasing after steers.
A woman joined her at the rack. When she turned to send her a friendly smile, Lily recognized the doctor’s wife. Under a plain straw hat with green ribbons,
Mrs. Cameron wore her curly red hair pulled back in a loose bun. The trim of her hat made her hazel eyes look green. “Good morning, Miss Maxwell. I thought I’d see if there was something already made I could wear or make over.”
Lily was charmed by the woman’s Scots brogue.
Mrs. Cameron patted her rounded belly. “Doesn’t make sense to buy new clothes when I’ll only be needing them for a few months.”
Lily felt the familiar stab of envy at the woman’s condition, but she tried to suppress it. She pursed her lips. “You’ll wear the dress again, surely. Each time you’re….” She waved toward the woman’s middle.
Mrs. Cameron shook her head, sending a stray corkscrew of hair flying. “I’ve been married ten years without sight of a bairn.” She placed a hand on her extended stomach. “This is my wee miracle, and I’m not sure I’ll be blessed enough to have more.”
Lily’s longing for her own little miracle squeezed her heart until it hurt. She looked away, sure the pain must show on her face, and fingered the tattered lace around the sleeve of a blue-striped shirtwaist, as if she were interested in the garment. She didn’t want to dampen Mrs. Cameron’s obvious joy.
“Here I am, nattering on when you barely know me.”
Lily gave the woman a reassuring smile. “If I were in your condition, I’d certainly do more than my share of nattering.”
“Oh!” The doctor’s wife dropped her hand to the side of her belly. “I felt the bairn kick.” The woman’s eyes filled, and she covered her mouth with her free hand. “I mean on the outside. Miss Maxwell, you must feel it.” She grabbed Lily’s hand and placed it over the spot.
Sure enough, Lily felt something poke and move under her palm. Awe infused her and she exchanged a long, emotion-filled look with the woman—a stranger—who’d shared the miracle growing inside her. Reluctantly, Lily dropped her hand. “Thank you.”
“Dear me, you must think me mad, grabbing you and making you feel the babe. Can I plead insipient motherhood a rattlin’ my brains?”
“You have just given me a wonderful gift.” Lily’s voice roughened. “A chance to feel something I’ll never experience for myself.”
Mrs. Cameron’s brows pulled together. “Why do you say that, dearie?”
Her maternal tone encouraged Lily to open up. “I was in a riding accident. Broke my leg and hip. The doctor told me I’d couldn’t have children—doing so would kill me, and the baby too.”
Alice Cameron exhaled an audible breath. “That’s tragic.” She reached for Lily’s hand and squeezed. “I know what it’s like to long for a child...to pray daily. To even light candles to the Blessed Mary, mother of God. But at least I had hope one might appear. And that you don’t have.”
Lily hadn’t spoken about her lost hopes for a long time. She’d given up her dreams of a family, had tried, truly tried, not to feel bitter. Most of the time she succeeded—until coming to Sweetwater Springs and meeting Tyler and Oliver…Her grief must have shown on her face.
Eyes narrowed, Mrs. Cameron cocked her head. “How long ago was your accident?”
“Six years ago. I was eighteen.”
“Have you been seen by a doctor since you healed?”
Lily shook her head.
“Why don’t you have my husband examine you? Perhaps a different opinion…?”
A flare of hope shot through Lily. But to what end? She ruthlessly squashed it down. “I don’t know….”
“What have you to lose, Lily? May I call you Lily?”
“Please do.” Lily felt reluctant to try to see the doctor. A confirmation would hurt so much more. “I’m not sure, Mrs. Cameron.”
“If we’re to be on a first name basis…Alice.”
“Alice. I’m…” Afraid.
“If the answer is no, then you’re no worse off than before.” Without waiting for an answer, Alice pressed on. “You can rest assured by my husband’s opinion…one way or another.”
“You’re right,” Lily reluctantly agreed.
“Then come with me.” Alice took Lily’s hand. “When I left home, no one was there to see the doctor. But that can change at any moment. Let’s not wait.”
“But your dress!”
“I can shop another time. This is too important.”
Lily allowed the woman’s determination to pull her from the store.
They walked down the dirt street, lifting their hems out of the mud and skirting puddles left by a recent rain. Alice held a running commentary about the different businesses and the townsfolk who ran them. Lily barely paid attention, so focused was she on her hopes and fears about what the doctor might find.
“There’s some talk of putting in boardwalks, and I certainly wish that would come to fruition.”
Lily allowed herself to be distracted. “Why haven’t they before?”
Alice shrugged. “Unlike many frontier towns, we don’t have our buildings crammed side-by-side. Because the buildings are so spread out, it will take a lot of work and expense to make boardwalks. Of course, there are some, like our banker, who’d like us to put down stone for the whole street.” Her hand waved along the hard-packed dirt. “Not that he’s going to pay for it, though I suspect he could pave the whole town if he wanted, not just the main street.”
“I met Mr. Livingston at the ice cream social.”
“Did you, lass? And what did you think of our fine banker?”
Her thoughts flashed to his manner and how he’d steered her outside. “Too autocratic for my taste.”
Alice laughed. “That’s our Mr. Livingston.”
They reached a pleasant house surrounded by a white picket fence covered in rose bushes, the comfortable-looking place that she’d admired on the ride to town with Tyler. She wondered what color the roses would bloom. “You have a beautiful home.”
“It suits us.” Alice gestured to a path down the side of the house. “The doctor’s office is around the back.” She led Lily along the side to double white doors with the words Doctor’s Office painted in black letters across the top.
They stepped inside and through a second set of doors to a broad hallway with a long cushioned bench spanning either side. A door to the right stood open, and Lily followed Alice inside.
Two narrow raised beds with clean sheets draped over the top stood on either side of an instrument table in the middle of the room. Chintz curtains framed a high, narrow window, which let in light, but preserved privacy. The front of the room held shelves containing jars and medicine bottles, various size basins, and more medical equipment. Some clusters of dried herbs sent a medicinal scent into the air.
The doctor sat at a desk in the corner, reading. Lily guessed him to be in his late thirties. He wore a black coat and a blue shirt and was also redheaded like his wife. He looked up and smiled at them. “Who have you brought me, my dear?” he said, his brogue thick and rich.
“This is Lily Maxwell.” Alice quickly sketched in the details Lily had shared.
Doctor Cameron studied her, his expression drawn into serious lines. “So you’d like a second opinion, then, Miss Maxwell?”
Lily nodded.
“You realize you’ll have to disrobe for me to examine you?”
“I lost my modesty after the accident. The doctor…”
“I understand.” With a wave, Dr. Cameron gestured toward the door. “I will leave you in my wife’s capable hands. She’ll help you put on a robe.” He left the room.
Lily smiled at Alice. “I like him. He’s so different from my doctor in Chicago.”
Alice’s eyes brightened. “He’s as good or better than ana you’d find in the big city. Of course, I’m prejudiced.” She started chatting about her husband while she helped Lily undress. Then Alice wrapped her in a cotton robe and asked her to lie on the raised bed.
“Ready?” Doctor Cameron tapped on the door and entered.
Lily focused on the ceiling while he probed with gentle fingers around her hip, pelvis, and leg. Then he had her stand, and he exami
ned her thoroughly again and watched her while she walked back and forth.
Finally, the doctor finished with the physical examination. He closed her wrap and straightened. “Are your parents big people? Hefty?
“No.”
“Very tall?”
Lily shook her head.
“Do you have siblings?”
“Two sisters.” Why is he asking me these questions?
“Are they about your height and weight?”
“Yes, we all look very much alike.”
“How about your grandparents?”
“We run short and wiry in our family, although my sister Sophia has more of a figure than I do.”
He stroked his chin. “Do you have a man in mind for your husband?”
Her cheeks heated. Lily nodded, unable to meet his eyes.
“I know you’ve been staying at Green Valley Ranch. Is Tyler Dunn the number one candidate?”
“Yes.” Except I’ve already turned him down, driven him away from me.
The doctor looked thoughtful. “Good. He’s na a big man. Nor were his parents or the one grandfather I knew.”
Lily wasn’t sure where Dr. Cameron was going with his questioning.
“I can see and feel the damage to your hip and leg, but your pelvis was na injured. I see no reason why you should na deliver safely. Especially if I’m your attending physician.”
Lily sucked in a breath, unable to believe what she was hearing.
He held up a hand. “Of course, it’s a risk. But then again, for a woman—” he shot a concerned glance at his wife “—childbearing is always risky. I’ll tell you that after Mrs. Cameron safely delivers our babe, I will sink to my knees and say a prayer of gratitude to the good Lord.”
His wife gave him a misty smile.
“Unless, of course,” he teased, “I faint dead away. In which case, I’ll pray flat on my back when I come to.”
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