by Matt Moss
There hasn’t been any mention of it in how long now? I can’t remember the last known case. Wake up and smell the coffee. It’s over. None of it is real.
You know it was real. Quit bullshitting yourself.
Okay, fine. It was real, and everything that happened really happened. My son is a witness to that testimony. But it was all brought on because of me. If I quit playing Alterlife, nothing else will happen. My life will go on and everything will be okay. Alterlife is the cause of everything bad in my life.
Fuck Alterlife.
It gave you a new life. It gave you everything.
More money, more problems. I can see that now. Before, I was blind. My family is all that matters. Their health and happiness are the only things I want.
A quick check of the time.
Group therapy is about to start.
I wipe the tears from my eyes, blow my nose in a McDonald’s napkin, and try to get my shit together.
“It’s just a game. It’s just a fucking game.”
Walking through the doors, I’m the last one to take a seat.
Paxton, the group leader, speaks up. “Well, well, if this isn’t a surprise. Welcome back, Steve.”
Only half of the group repeat the greeting, the other half couldn’t care less if they never saw me again. “Welcome back, Steve.”
I stick my hand up as a wave. “Hello, everyone.”
“Where have you been? It’s been how many sessions now that you’ve missed?”
I raise my eyes to Paxton. “I’ve been busy.”
“Not in a virtual world, I hope.”
I nod slowly, then look at all the curious faces around the room.
“Actually, I have been using again.”
Gasps.
Glares.
Disappointment.
Ask me if I give a shit.
Margarette wags a finger and speaks. “I told you he’s a backslider. He’s not like the rest of us; doesn’t want to get clean. He doesn’t belong here.”
I stand up and speak to her. “You’re right. I don’t belong here. I got no problem with quitting VR.” Look down and speak to the floor as the realization comes to me at this very moment, and it’s like I’m speaking to myself. “I used to. Really. Living without virtual reality was crippling from the inside out. For the majority of the last year, I’d felt this hole inside of me growing larger, starting ever-so-small inside my chest then growing, growing. Consuming my thoughts in every waking moment; even in my sleep.” I raise my eyes back to all of theirs as they sit and listen to my testament. “But something happened in the way I thought about virtual reality. What was once a romantic affair has now turned sour, and I do not want it in my life anymore.” I stand to leave. Stop at the door. “I don’t need it in my life anymore.”
“Wait,” Margarette calls to me. “How did you do it? How do you just quit?”
“Flip the switch,” I tell her and point to my head. Shrug my shoulders. “But it helps when something else, or someone else, flips the switch for you.”
It wasn’t the advice she wanted to hear.
Understandable. Not everyone is ‘mind over matter’. Not everyone has the ability to flip a switch or have someone to intervene for them.
They don’t want to quit if it’s going to be painful. They want something to hold on to, something to find comfort in. They like playing the victim.
Really? Victims?
We’re all victims of this thing we call life.
I’m tired of playing the victim.
It’s time to start over.
Back at home, I give Jenny a kiss.
“I’m done, baby. It’s over.”
She furrows her brow. “What are you talking about?”
“Alterlife. I’m through with it.”
“You won?” she asks, excited.
I shake my head. “Far from it. There’s no way of winning. I see that now.”
“But I thought the virus…”
“Someone else’s problem. To be honest, I think the only reason it ever became anything is because I played the game. I was the host. And the way I see it—I quit playing, it goes away.”
“But you don’t know for sure.”
I shrug. “That’s what I’m going with.”
Jenny takes a moment to breathe. “Okay. As always, I stand with you, John.” She wraps her arms around me.
I take a deep breath myself and close my eyes as I hold her tight, suddenly feeling as if the weight of the world has been lifted from me.
After sleeping on it, my mind is still made up. And I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life.
It’s over.
Good riddance.
The sun is rising, and the skies are blue.
I’m going to see Ben to tell him the good news.
Walking into the hospital, the nurse begins to tear up at the desk when she sees me.
I immediately expect the worst. “What? Tell me.”
“He’s awake,” she says, overjoyed. “I was just calling you to let you know.”
My feet leave the ground and I take off running towards his room.
Heart’s pounding out of my chest. Mind in a fog of excitement.
Ben.
“Ben!”
I nearly run into Ben’s nurse as I round a corner. She cheers me on, knowing that I just heard the news. “He’s awake. Go see your son,” she calls to my back, nearly bursting with tears, not even catching that I slipped up and referred to him by his real name.
I don’t care if she did catch me slip. Let the world know who we are for that matter. Right now, my son has returned to me. And it’s one of the best moments of my life.
Bursting towards his room, my run slows to a stop so I don’t startle him. Shaking in anticipation and excitement, my hand eases the door open and I walk inside.
“Son,” I call out softly as I enter the room. Ben comes into view, and he turns his head towards me.
My eyes find his and immediately fill with tears.
Leaning down to embrace my son, I cradle his head in my hands and we both weep tears of joy—no words needed. We allow the moment to linger.
“I don’t know what to say… there are no words to describe what I’m feeling right now, son.” Brush his brown hair back. “I’m so happy. So, so happy. I love you so much.”
Ben chuckles with life. “I love you too, dad.”
A nurse walks in to check on us. “Oh. I’ll give you two some privacy. I’m sure you’ve a lot to catch up on,” she says, then closes the door after leaving the room.
Ben looks to me. “Is everyone else alright?”
“Yes, everyone is fine. Wait, how much do you remember?”
He stares into my eyes. “I remember everything. Right up until it all went black.” Unshaken, he speaks of an event that would send countless nightmares to the bravest of men.
I raise my head towards the sky and close my eyes, speaking a silent prayer. My eyes level back on Ben’s. “Thank God you’re alright and that you haven’t lost your memory from the coma. Does everything work? Can you move your fingers and toes?”
He nods. “Arms and legs, yes everything works fine. My body feels weak, but other than that, I’m okay.”
I take his hand in both of mine and get choked up, laughing joyously but fighting back a wave of emotions. “That’s because you’ve been asleep for about nine months now.” I wipe my eyes dry with my arm. “About the same amount of time it takes for a baby to be born. Now, it’s as if you’ve been born again. Given another chance at life.”
Just don’t waste it, son.
Ben raises his chin. “Are they going to come back, dad?”
I shake my head. “No. They’re not coming back.”
“How do you know?”
“Well, for one thing, because we’ve moved to another city. We now live in Seattle. And we’ve changed our names, thanks to my friend, Jim, in the FBI. And for two, I’m through with Alterlife. No reason to want me dead if I don’t play,
right?”
He shakes his head, not understanding. “Did you stop the virus?”
“No.”
“I thought you were playing to stop the virus. Of course, you were making money too, but the main reason you were in the game was to kill the gods and stop the virus from spreading. That’s what you said.”
I nod slowly and bite my tongue.
He continues to pry. “If people are still dying and you could stop it, why would you quit?”
“Because, look at what happened. You almost died. We all almost died. Because of me. We were lucky to have survived that. I’m not going to chance fate again.”
“You have to go back. Mom said you were the only one who could save everyone from dying. She believed in you, and so do I.” He grips my hand firm, despite his weakened condition. “Say you’ll go back.”
I purse my lips and tear up again. “I’m proud of you son, and I love you.”
And now I’m going to lie to you…
“I’ll go back and save the day. Okay?”
“Okay,” he says, satisfied, then lays his head back on the pillow and closes his eyes.
“Get some rest now. I’ll get your mother and sister, and we’ll come back to see you soon.”
I hate to lie to you about going back to Alterlife, son. But I lie because I don’t want to fight you on this right now. You need to rest.
I know I’m the hero in your eyes.
But really, I’ve been the villain.
I want to change that and become the hero once again. The one who would spend time with you, and teach you all the things you deserve to know about growing up and, one day, becoming a man.
Ace the Great isn’t going to do that.
Only I can.
Only John Crussel.
If nothing else, I can only hope that you learn from all of my mistakes…
Back at the cleaners, I take my duffel bag and go to login one last time to tell everyone that I’m sorry and that I’m quitting. That I won’t be back. I owe that to them, at least.
It’s better for everyone that I leave.
The bell rings as I go through the front door, but there’s nobody around.
“Gio? Yuna? Anyone here?”
The van’s probably around back, and Gio’s probably in the game already.
Walking towards my room, I see that Gio’s door is open, but the room is empty inside.
Strange. He never leaves the door open.
Still nobody around.
Maybe that’s for the best. I’ll just be in and out. If I don’t see him, the Saviors can tell him that I quit.
Maybe I’ll mail him a card.
Close the door, lock the bolt, and prepare to login.
I take the NueView from my bag and sit down in the recliner.
Begin to put it on.
Pause.
“What the hell am I even logging in for? There’s nobody I need to tell. Probably won’t care anyway. I don’t owe anyone an explanation or an apology for leaving Alterlife. It’s just a damn game…”
I text Jenny and can’t wait to tell her about Ben.
hey babe
i’ve got some great news
be home soon
The system goes back into the bag. I stand and throw it over my shoulder. One last look at the recliner. One more peek through the window-wall. The room’s still empty.
My phone buzzes. A text from Jim Pattocks.
Hey, buddy, I heard you were back in Alterlife.
What are you thinking? You’re supposed to stay offline.
Don’t reply.
Yeah, Jim, I know. I know.
One last look at Gio’s room before I press the button to turn the wall back to normal.
Gio has to be here somewhere. I’m sure he’s either on the phone or using the bathroom.
I step out of the room and raise my voice. “Hey, Gio. You can go ahead and tell everyone that I’m…”
THWACK!
Everything goes black.
16
Man in the Box
A splash of water to the face.
Head’s on fire.
Giovisi’s voice and a shadow moving in my blurred vision. “Wake up, Ace.”
I moan, mumbling incoherent words of confusion, my mind still foggy.
“Don’t worry. You’re safe,” Gio says.
The shadow sets the bucket down and stands in front of me. My vision and senses come back and I see that it’s Giovisi. I’m sitting in the recliner. My wrists are bound with steel cable, and the cable extends to my ankles, binding them as well. Suddenly understanding my current situation, I jerk my hands up, but my mobility is extremely limited due to the restraints. I strain and grunt, and fall out of the chair face-first on the floor in my efforts to break free.
Gio crouches down and speaks. “It pains me to see you like this. But make no mistake, this was your doing.”
I lunge towards him like a worm, but don’t come close. Can’t even bring my arms up to drag him down by his leg and wrap my hands around his throat.
He stands up and paces around the room. “I’m a reasonable man. I can work with anyone. But you left me no choice in this. There was only one option for you to take, and you chose not to take it. Now, I am forcing you to take it.”
“Fuck you, Gio. You’re insane.” I rise to my knees and turn to face him. “Let me go before I kill you.”
Gio folds his hands and scowls in disappointment.
Calmly, he takes a pair of latex gloves and walks to me. Kneels down and puts them on. Quick as a cat, he makes a fist and punches me in the face. The blow sends me to the ground. I spit blood.
I glare up at him and speak a promise. “You’ll pay for that.”
He cocks his head and narrows his eyes. “Stop making threats, Ace. Use your brain. Look around. Come to terms with what’s going on here.” Stands up and walks to the window-wall. Presses the button and reveals his room. Acts as though he knows that I already knew about it. “You’re a smart man, Ace. You’ll figure it out.”
I rise to my feet and stand, head pounding and a bit fuzzy, but still able to gather what’s going on. “You’re holding me hostage against my will. Pretty sure that’s breaking the law.”
He grins at the statement. “Surely you’re not one to hold to the laws of the world all the time, now are you?” Steps towards me and stands face-to-face. “No. Not a man like you. Men of power—men like us—must break the rules to achieve our true potential. Greatness comes from nonconformity. But you already know this. Don’t you, Ace?”
I stare into his eyes, trying to remain calm against the tempest that rages inside. “You won’t get away with this. People know where I am. I have friends.”
Giovisi holds up my cell phone. Then holds up my burner phone that I use to text Deana. Yuna comes into the room holding a bucket and a hammer. Gio takes the hammer and smashes both phones to bits on the concrete floor, picks the pieces up, and drops them into the bucket filled with clear liquid.
“Normally, we use less harsh acids here to clean the equipment and such, but we do keep a supply of sulfuric acid on hand for those tough jobs. It’s highly corrosive.”
Shit. There goes tracking my location.
Jenny knows where I’m at. Before I started coming here, I gave her the address and told her what the place looks like. When she realizes that I’ve been gone for too long, she’ll come looking for me.
“You think those phones make a difference? I’ve told people about this place and how I’ve been logging into Alterlife here. They’ll come looking for me.”
Gio takes the latex gloves off. “Then I will handle that when it comes.”
Damn. Now I hope Jenny doesn’t come. I don’t want this psychopath kidnapping her too.
When she realizes something is bad wrong, she’ll call Jim. Maybe her brother, Tom, back in Tennessee. For proof, they can track my last text to Jenny from this location and come looking with probable cause.
I just have to bi
de my time. Shouldn’t be more than a couple days. Three at the max.
Are you sure? You’ve been gone for a week at a time before, lost in Alterlife. You’ve trained her to expect that.
I told her that I was through. That I quit. She’ll come looking for me.
I stare into Gio’s brown, calculating eyes. “What do you want?”
He meets my gaze. “I want you to play the game.”
17
One Way Out
The day passes by, and I have no idea how long I’ve been here. After Gio left, I fell asleep twice.
I just have to wait for someone to come rescue me.
Can you hear yourself? Acting like a little damsel in distress.
What the hell am I supposed to do? I’m helpless.
The window-wall flashes, and Gio stands on the other side. He speaks through the intercom. “How are you feeling, Ace? Have you changed your mind yet?”
I glare at him, then turn and walk away.
“The bucket near your feet is to relieve yourself in. We will change it out once a day, at the same time every day. A meal will be served once a day, as well as a snack.”
“How long do you really think I’m going to be here?”
“As long as it takes. You know why you’re here. The sooner you complete the mission, the sooner you set yourself free.”
I walk towards the window. “Let me go. I won’t tell anyone about you or this place or anything. My son just woke up from a coma, and I need to be with him. Please. Just let me go and I swear there’ll be no hard feelings between us.”
He frowns. “I’m sorry. I can’t do that.”
Anger builds up inside. I walk to the wall and slam both fists against the window. Hit it again and glare hatred at Gio.
“You know what you have to do.”
“I don’t want to be a part of this anymore. Fuck the gods, the virus, and Alterlife. I’m done!”
Giovisi turns and walks to my NueView that’s laying on his floor, picks it up, and brings it back to show me. Inspects it as he speaks. “I thought that your ability to stay logged in was somehow tied to this system or, perhaps, the game itself. But I was wrong. Even with your system, I was unable to stay logged in for longer than six hours.” He gently places it down then desperately looks into my eyes. “Don’t you see? You’ve been given a gift. One from the Creator Himself. You spit in His face, and all of Alterlife, by denying this gift and squandering your talents.”