by Sharon Owens
‘Come on now! Don’t be so defensive with me, Ruby. I’m only asking! It’s just, I saw a funny look in your eye this morning when you were tidying the Christmas decorations on the counter. You looked happy for the first time in a long time. Weren’t you?’
‘For your information I was recalling the time Jonathan took me to an Art Deco hotel in London for Christmas. They had big glass baubles exactly like this one here, hanging on a huge Nordmann tree in the foyer. Now listen, we must’ve let the vacuuming slip in recent days. I mean to say, this bauble must have been lying under there for a while without either of us spying it.’
‘Sorry, Ruby,’ Jasmine said at once. ‘I didn’t mean to sound insensitive. I was just being a romantic fool again. Pay me no heed. I’m always on the lookout for romance where clearly none exists.’
‘That’s okay. And I’m sorry for snapping at you. It’s just that I could never fall in love with another man, Jasmine. Not ever! I feel like Jonathan only left me yesterday.’
‘But you’re so young, Ruby. Just thirty-two! It’s far too soon for you to say it’s all over for you in the love department.’
‘Jasmine, it might not be too soon for a lot of other people. But it’s as much as I can do to keep the shop going and keep myself neat and tidy and remember to eat three meals a day. I’m telling you there’ll be no romance in my life for a very long time to come. If ever.’
‘But you did look at that guy in a strange way that day.’
‘That’s because he was looking at me in a strange way. He must have mistaken me for someone else, that’s all. I’m sure he doesn’t remember me. Perhaps he was going to come in and buy a gift for his wife or his girlfriend, but then he chickened out. You know how some men are terrified of girly shops?’
‘Okay, I’m sorry I spoke. I’m just being silly; it must be due to my current man-free status. Hang on, Ruby. Look, there’s somebody outside, staring at the evening bags. A nice-looking man as it happens. Could we be about to make our second sale?’
Ruby’s heart lurched with hope and anticipation. She’d begun to look on the sale of her beautiful handbags as a sort of omen. Hopefully if this customer was interested in one of them she could take it as a good sign for the New Year. Could she dare to believe that her shop was really going to be a long-term success?
‘That guy is still looking,’ Jasmine whispered.
‘Well, don’t stare at him then, in case you put him off,’ said Ruby, getting out her duster and giving the glass counter a nervous polish. As if on cue, the doorbell rang and the man came in, obviously ill at ease in this cosy nest of feminine frivolities. He was tall and slim and very handsome. Jasmine checked at once to see if he was wearing a wedding ring. He was. She rolled her eyes and turned away.
‘How much is that dark blue purse-thing, please?’ he said fake-brightly to Ruby.
Jasmine looked at Ruby carefully. Would Ruby dare to ask for the full amount? She decided she would let the boss handle this sale on her own. Jasmine smiled at both Ruby and the customer and then she began to price some pink umbrellas with barley-twist handles that had just been unpacked.
‘Um, those particular bags are one hundred pounds each,’ Ruby said in a shy voice. She could hardly bring herself to say the words out loud.
‘Oh. That’s quite a lot…’
‘They’re all unique, do you see? I made them myself. Here, I’ll show you,’ Ruby told him. She walked across the shop, fetched the bag from the display case and set it reverently on the counter. ‘See the lemon lining there? A real labour of love.’
‘Unique, did you say? Oh well, in that case I’ll take it,’ the man said, beginning to perspire slightly. He was a person who felt extremely out of place beside fluffy white slippers and padded lilac hangers. But the blue velvet bag had caught his eye for some reason and he just knew he had to have it. He placed his debit card on the counter as Ruby swiftly wrapped the bag and then expertly swiped his card.
‘It’s for my wife,’ the man said suddenly in case they thought he was buying it for himself. ‘I’m not a cross-dresser or anything mental like that. Though now I’ve said it I suppose you’ll be convinced it is for me.’
Ruby and Jasmine exchanged mischievous glances.
‘It takes all sorts, mate,’ Jasmine said, winking.
‘Jasmine, stop it,’ Ruby commanded.
‘Sorry,’ Jasmine sighed.
‘No, really, it’s for my wife,’ the man said again.
‘I’m sure she’ll love it,’ Jasmine nodded, grinning.
‘Jasmine, I said stop it. Now then, I hope your wife just loves this bag,’ Ruby said kindly. ‘It can be used as an everyday bag or to store jewellery in or to keep for special occasions. It’s very strong really, but don’t let it get wet please or the velvet will darken slightly.’
‘Okay, I’ll tell her,’ the man said, knowing he’d never remember what Ruby had just told him. ‘She’s not been very well, do you see? That’s the worrying thing,’ the man said sadly. ‘Not too well, overall, no.’
‘Oh dear,’ Ruby murmured. ‘I’m sorry to hear that.’ Ruby smiled warmly at her latest customer. It was quite hard for the average Belfast man to be so revealing about his personal life. She knew that for a fact. As she smiled, he seemed to relax a little bit.
‘Yes. She’s been very down in the dumps for the last couple of years actually. Very down, if you know what I mean?’
‘You mean she suffers a bit from the auld depression?’ Jasmine asked bravely.
‘Jasmine, thank you!’ Ruby scolded. ‘Look, I’m so sorry,’ she said to the slightly flustered man. But Jasmine wasn’t sorry. Maybe Ruby’s beautiful handbags were about to lead to another bout of soul-searching, she thought to herself.
‘It’s okay really,’ the man said after a moment. ‘She is depressed. I mean, I told her that all I want is for her to get well. It’s what we all want, all the family circle. But I’m worried she’s giving up. She can’t be bothered talking to any of us any more. Even small talk seems to wear her out.’
Ruby and Jasmine made sympathetic faces.
‘Bless her.’ Jasmine nodded.
‘Yes, it’s very frustrating. She won’t take her pills or eat properly or even take the vitamins that her doctor recommended. She’s lost interest in Christmas altogether this year. Even though she always used to love baking the cake and so on. She won’t give up smoking cigarettes either. Just sits smoking cigarettes all day on the sofa, getting more and more unfit.’
‘Oh goodness,’ Ruby said. ‘That sounds like a bad case of depression all right.’
‘She won’t talk to me about anything, either serious subjects or silly ones. I don’t know what to do with her, basically.’
‘Oh dear,’ Ruby soothed.
‘Ah well… Sometimes I feel like shouting at her… but naturally I wouldn’t do that. It might make me feel better, but it definitely wouldn’t do my wife any good. Sorry, I’m rambling away here. I don’t know why I’m telling you all of this,’ he finished lamely.
‘Listen, we both wish you and your wife the very best possible outcome,’ said Ruby at once, slipping some complimentary scented room-sachets and a box of embroidered handkerchiefs into the crisp carrier alongside the blue velvet handbag. ‘We can’t understand precisely what you must be going through, of course. But it must be awful for you not being able to do anything to help your wife. Mind you, I’m sure that just being there for her means a lot. More than you think, probably.’
‘Thank you,’ the man said, brightening up a little. ‘I know it’s true that depression is a very common ailment. It’s just that sometimes you feel like you’re the only person whose world has fallen apart, don’t you? And you don’t want to be a bother to anybody so you keep your worries to yourself.’
‘Indeed you do,’ Ruby smiled. ‘I really hope your wife will be fine though. And you’d do well to look after your own health too, you know? And not just your physical health. Have you tried calling MIND for
advice? Often it’s the carers who come off worse in the end, so they say. Oh Lord, I’m making it worse now…’
‘It’s okay, thanks. Yes, I should call them, shouldn’t I?’
‘Well, yes. Yes, maybe you should. And you might take some of those vitamins yourself and try to eat properly, even if your wife can’t face too much food right now. And keep the house nice and tidy for her too maybe. I always find that a cosy house is a tonic for me when I’m feeling under the weather. Buy her some flowers occasionally?’
‘I will indeed. Thanks very much for all the advice.’
‘You’ve probably heard it all before, but sure it’s got to be worth a try. And I’m certain this lovely gift will cheer her up immensely,’ Ruby said finally, setting the candy-striped carrier on the counter. ‘And I wish you both a very happy New Year.’
‘Happy New Year!’ The man lifted his precious purchase gently and nodded farewell to Ruby and Jasmine. He backed out of the shop and went walking down Ravenhill Road with a new spring in his step.
‘Poor guy,’ Jasmine sighed, watching him from the bay window. ‘His wife doesn’t know how lucky she is to have him. This shop is turning into a drop-in centre for the terminally miserable. I hope he hasn’t just gone and spent money they really can’t afford.’
‘I’ve a feeling his wife needs a little surprise right now,’ Ruby said quietly. ‘To remind her that the sun will come out again one day. Hopefully that little gesture of his will turn out to be worth every penny.’
‘Here’s hoping,’ Jasmine agreed.
‘You know what, Jasmine? While we’re all opening our hearts today, you were right about there being a weird kind of spark between myself and that guy the other day. But I have no idea why. We have met before, like I said. But it was just the one time, and even then it was for, like, two minutes. He’s the head gardener at Camberwell House. And, truly, I was only happy today because I didn’t think I’d be able to cope during my first Christmas without Jonathan. And in the end it was okay. Well, not okay exactly, but not a total nightmare either, like I was expecting. So I was just happy that I made it through the holidays, you know? That bauble reminded me of Jonathan and our trip to London.’
‘Okay.’
‘And that guy? His name is Tom Lavery… But he had nothing to do with me being happy today. Yes, he’s quite handsome in a rugged and ragged and repressed sort of way. And, yes, I did feel a tiny bit attracted to him when we first met, for some bizarre reason. I mean, I thought he was nice when we met last year, before I knew about Jonathan’s accident. But I would never consider even flirting with him now. Nothing like that! It’s far too soon. And anyway he’s obviously married because he was wearing a wedding ring.’
‘You looked at his hands then?’
‘No, I didn’t look on purpose.’
‘Are you sure about that?’ Jasmine smiled.
‘Yes, I couldn’t help noticing a ring, that’s all. When I paid him for the tree last year I saw it glinting against his skin. He had very tanned skin and very dark brown eyes. And I wondered if he had Spanish or Italian roots maybe.’
‘Interesting,’ Jasmine said, biting her lip so she wouldn’t say something out of place and cause Ruby to shut down any tentative feelings she might be having for this new man.
‘So there you have it,’ Ruby concluded. ‘He was quite nice to talk to, but he obviously wasn’t available, and I’m certainly not looking for a boyfriend right now.’
‘Right you be,’ Jasmine said carefully. ‘That’s the end of it, so. My lips are sealed.’
‘Okay.’
But it wasn’t quite the end of it.
‘Is that why you didn’t have a tree this year, Ruby? Because you didn’t want to meet him again? Tom Lavery? Because there was some sort of chemistry there?’
‘No, silly. I just didn’t want a tree, that’s all. Sure I could have got a tree anywhere, not just from Tom Lavery or that particular garden centre.’
‘True.’
‘Right. That’s two evening bags sold anyway so we’ve only five to go.’
‘Do you know, Ruby, I hope we don’t sell another one for a few days yet. I don’t think I can take any more earth-shattering revelations just at the moment,’ Jasmine sighed.
‘Yes, that poor guy. I hope his wife gets better soon,’ Ruby said glumly. ‘At least she still has her husband to look after her. And he did seem a very caring sort of husband.’
‘Are you serious? Ruby, the woman sounded like a lost cause to me. Did you not hear what he said about her?’
‘I heard him.’
‘She just sits about, he said. Doing nothing, saying nothing. No interest in Christmas any more. Can’t be bothered baking a cake. Can’t even be bothered to talk to her own family.’
‘Oh my God,’ Ruby said quietly, her eyes wide with shock.
‘What is it? Have you left the cooker on upstairs?’ Jasmine asked, glancing towards the ceiling.
‘My mother, Jasmine! My mother.’
‘What about her?’
‘I think she’s depressed,’ Ruby said in a frightened voice.
‘Depressed? How come?’
‘She’s been like that for years. Like that man’s wife. No real interest in anything. Can’t be bothered to talk to me on the phone…’
‘But someone would have noticed if she was really bad,’ Jasmine said, shaking her head in disbelief.
‘Who would have noticed? I’m never there any more. She’s never here.’
‘Your father then?’ Jasmine suggested.
‘No, he’s too used to her. He probably wouldn’t notice if she’d got any worse in recent times. My God, is it really over a year since I visited my own parents? Where has all the time gone?’
‘It was their duty to come here and visit you, Ruby. You were the one who was suffering. Anyway, the neighbours would have told you if your mum wasn’t well.’
‘I don’t think so. They never see the neighbours. They live in the middle of nowhere, Jasmine. And they don’t like visitors. I mean, they say hello to everybody after Mass and so on, but it’s not the same as having proper friends, is it? It’s not the same as having friends you can confide in. Oh my God, I bet my mum’s been depressed for years and I’m only just realizing it. That’s why they didn’t come to Jonathan’s funeral, don’t you see?’
‘But they couldn’t come because of the snow, remember?’ Jasmine said.
‘That’s true. But why didn’t they come to see me afterwards? In the New Year? No, the truth is they didn’t think Mum could face it. Or face me.’ Ruby’s eyes filled with tears.
‘Now, Ruby, don’t cry. It’s not your fault.’
‘It is my fault. I should have done something.’
‘Like what?’
‘Gone down there more often? Insisted on spending Christmas with them? I don’t know what exactly. But I should have done something.’
‘Well, go and visit them now,’ Jasmine said, beginning to add up the takings. ‘You just get in the car and land on them without phoning ahead, and see what happens. Stay the night and see in the New Year with the pair of them. Then you’ll see if your mum’s truly depressed or if they’re just a pair of anti-social old culchies. No offence! We can shut the shop for a couple of days, can’t we?’
‘Okay, yes, I’ll do that.’
‘Good girl. I’ll keep an eye on the place while you’re away.’
‘Will you be okay on your own tonight?’ Ruby asked Jasmine.
‘Surely I will. Somebody at the Bell Towers will be having a few drinks and I’ll get myself invited along, don’t you worry. And, if not, there’s always a party at my parents’ house in Sandy Row. Only the oldies dancing to Abba but it’s usually a laugh.’
‘Thanks, Jasmine,’ Ruby said, drying her tears on a leftover Christmas napkin. ‘I’ll set off as soon as we close the shop today. I’ll just throw a few things in a bag and drive straight down there. I’ve just got to make sure they’re okay.’
&n
bsp; ‘Yes, you do that.’
‘That’s the second secret, isn’t it?’
‘Come again?’
‘The second secret of happiness? Good health! Of both the body and the mind… That’s the second secret of happiness.’
‘Secrets of happiness? You need to get out more, Ruby O’Neill,’ Jasmine said primly, shaking her head in mock-pity.
‘Yes, I know I do,’ Ruby smiled back at her. ‘I need to do lots of things, Jasmine love. And getting out more is only one of them. But first of all I need to check on my crazy parents.’
‘Drive carefully, please, won’t you?’ Jasmine said, looking away shyly.
‘Don’t worry, I will,’ Ruby promised.
‘And go easy on them when you get there, yeah?’
‘I will.’
‘They can’t help being a bit weird, I’m sure.’
‘Okay.’
‘They are from the country, remember.’
‘Yes…’
‘How much? A hundred fucking pounds? Are you kidding me? Are you stone mad?’
Ruby and Jasmine didn’t know it then, but at that exact moment the recipient of the second handbag was clambering up off her saggy sofa and heading for the power shower. For if her long-suffering husband had been reduced to wasting their precious savings on overpriced velvet handbags that she’d never realistically be able to use then it was high time she was up and about again. And back in charge of the family finances.
‘A hundred quid indeed!’
They must have seen the fool coming.
‘You could have got some home heating oil instead! Or new vinyl for the bathroom floor! Or a bloody gate for the front garden that doesn’t squeak like a scalded cat every time somebody walks through it! Are you nuts or what?’
‘I’m going out for a drink,’ her husband said to her quietly. ‘You may do whatever the hell you like.’
And out he went, closing the door softly behind him. She watched him walk down the street, away from her, and something that felt like tension in her heart seemed to unwind a little bit.