She lay in the middle of the bed, holding the gifts in her hands and examined them further. She smiled at the flower as she raised it to her nose. It was beautiful and exotic looking, but not gaudy or large. It smelled sweet. Making a soft and thoughtful sigh, she rolled towards his side of the bed without even thinking about it.
Now she was alone and all she had to remind herself that he was, in fact, real was his scent on his pillow. He smelled like the air after it rained. Whether this was his natural scent or simply the soap he used, she wasn’t sure. Either way, it went into a nice mixture along with his sweat and unique ‘guy’ smell all young men carried on them.
She opened up her new journal, picked a metallic blue inked pen, and scribbled in sloppy writing:
I need to get out of here because I think I’m going crazy.
Chapter Thirteen
Darien quietly sat next to his father, lost in deep thoughts about Tai, as they rode upon his brother Brian’s back. Was she doing okay with out him? She wasn’t trying to run away was she? Did she even care he was gone? He sighed.
Brian was in his dragon form, and he was chosen to be the transport for the family’s journey because he was by far the largest of all of them while in this form. While Darien was certainly grateful to be conserving his magic and energy, he also felt bad for Brian. Brian was the weakest in terms of magical power. He would be tired when they arrived. Darien could have easily carried his father and the three brothers who had gone on the trip - even on his much smaller body - and barely felt a thing. His father had insisted, and it was never wise to go against his wishes.
“So Dad, what’s this all about? I know it’s not just some traditional formality, otherwise you wouldn’t have practically forced me to come with you.” Darien raised a hand at his father, “Don’t try to deny it. You did force me to come. What am I walking into here that couldn’t wait until next quarter?”
“You’re very observant,” Orion commented with a lowered voice. “A quality I wish I had myself, you know. You obviously did not inherit it from me.”
Darien had to squeeze his eyes shut to keep from rolling them. “I think you’re plenty observant. You have to be, otherwise you wouldn’t have been appointed as the great dragon lord of all our people. I know part of the title is inherited, but Grandpa did pick you specifically for a reason.”
“Yes and it wasn’t my observation skills,” his father stated playfully. “Really, I believe your Uncle Arthur would have made a much better great dragon lord than me, but it was apparently my fate to take this role in life.”
“Fate?”
“Yes, it is a term humans use to describe the feeling when the events of their life, even the negative ones, have a purpose or meaning or divine appointment of some kind.”
“I know what fate means, I just don’t know why you think it was yours to be appointed.”
“Well, why wouldn’t it be?”
With a quiet groan, Darien leaned forward to rest his head in both of his hands. “You’re rabbit trailing from my question. I don’t want to talk about fate, or how I’m like her.”
“She is your mother Darien, and you should address her as such.” Orion replied stiffly. “I don’t think you would take it too kindly if I referred to your wife in a similar fashion. It’s disrespectful.”
This time, Darien did roll his eyes. If his father caught the gesture, he didn’t say anything about it. Nothing in his body language suggested he did. He held himself in the same disappointed, sad, and frustrated fashion he always did whenever he was with Darien.
“I don’t want to fight with you,” his father finally said. “I want your opinion, Darien. I need your advice.”
“On what?” Darien said. “I don’t think there’s much I can do for you. I’m not exactly into politics, and I don’t really keep up on current events all that much. It’s kind of boring.” This answer was the wrong one. Orion hung his head and shook it slowly, and Darien couldn’t remember a time when he had seen his father so disappointed. “Sorry I’m such a failure,” he mumbled sourly. His failure hit him doubly hard because he felt as though he were letting Tai down as well.
He was tempted to leap from his brother’s back, transform, and fly home so he could be with Tai. Even fighting with her was easier than facing his father’s frustrations. The only thing keeping him in place was knowing if he left, things would be infinitely worse.
Orion didn’t say anything to Darien for the rest of the flight; he only stared at his son with sad and desperate eyes. He wanted to move away and out of sight, or snap at his father to stop staring at him. It made him uncomfortable to have Orion watching his every move. The silence was heartbreaking, but some how he managed to keep his composure for the remainder of the flight.
It was late afternoon by the time they arrived at the massive hotel-like complex where all of his kin were housed. The agenda for the evening was dinner and rest. Many had far to travel. Brian looked miserable by the time he got around to transforming back into his human shape. As he did that, their father had gone to retrieve the keys for their rooms.
“You’ll be staying with-” he began as he handed Darien a small brass key with the number twenty-two engraved into it. But Darien cut him off.
“I know. I remember where it is. I’m going to take a nap. I’m beat.” Darien quickly snatched the key from his Father’s hands before he could say another word. He took his bag and started down the hallway without saying more.
“But what about brunch?” His brother Christian called after him as Darien walked away.
“Let him go,” Orion said. It was the last thing Darien heard as he rounded the corner.
From there on they were out of earshot. He slowed his pace, gripping the handle of his bag tightly in an effort to stop himself from shaking. He wasn’t smart the same ways his brothers were, and he could hardly hold a conversation with the man anymore without it turning awkward or into a fight. The older Darien became, the more his father brushed him aside. For the first time in months, Orion expressed interest in his company and he screwed it up by being difficult. It was no wonder his father distanced himself. It was kind of how Darien was feeling towards Tai at the moment. He didn’t have the energy to keep up with her attitude.
“I should have never left,” he whispered. He was too afraid to think the words. The last thing he needed was for Tai to quip back with something that might rub salt into the wound. She’d made it clear he shouldn’t have gone. Hearing ‘I told you so’ would not help. Darien was alone.
He entered the grand suite. It had been nearly six years since he had last graced the great council with his presence - six dragon years that is. That was practically eighteen human years. Nothing had changed. The suite looked exactly the same. From the tablecloth that sat on the dining room table right down to the foot rest in the living room. Really, the only difference was the television in the den had been upgraded and the comforters were newer.
He found the room furthest from the master bedroom and set his things inside of it. The suite contained four guest rooms along with the master room. One room for everyone. Slowly, he lay down on the bed and stretched. His entire body was stiff from the journey and his butt numb from sitting on Brian’s hard scales. It was not easy to ride on a dragon’s back for six hours. He closed his eyes, trying to dose off, but he was soon interrupted as the door opened. He didn’t have to look up to know who it was.
“Dad, I don’t want to talk right now. I’ll be more political for the meetings. I promise. I’ll put forth my best effort to pay attention and make myself useful so you don’t have to talk to Uncle Arthur about your worthless baby boy.” He rolled his eyes and didn’t bother to hold back the bitterness.
Orion hardly ever talked about Darien in the same light as the rest of his brothers. It was frustrating because he tried so hard, but following in the footsteps of six older brothers was hard. Especially when they all excelled where he lacked. Brian was athletic, Asher and Tony were popular, and Lance was by far
the smartest, just to name a few. The only thing Darien was good with was his magic, but he shied away from displaying this talent because his magic was why his mother died. It had been too strong for her body to handle.
“Do you really believe I think you’re worthless?” Orion asked. He sat on the end of the bed and reached to put a gentle hand on Darien’s ankle. “You are by far the least worthless man I have ever met in my life. I could not continue to go out with your brother’s with this tension between us. This isn’t like you at all.”
“Do we really have to talk about this now? I’m tired.” He said and he bit his lip. He didn’t feel like opening this can of worms. He needed some time to himself before he said something in anger to make things worse. He was angry, angry at his father for dragging him out there and breaking his promise, and angry at himself for not being able to keep his cool or at the very least fake some kind of interest to appease the man.
“You should close your eyes with pleasant thoughts.” Orion paused, rubbing his son’s ankle gently. This was something he had done when Darien was younger to comfort him from dreams or during illness. The last time he had been touched like this by his father was when he had caught the flu at the age of thirteen. The comforting touches stopped soon after Darien had been told the truth about his mother. The charade no longer needed to be performed.
“Then I’ll find some.” Darien said. “I have a lot of other good things to think about.”
“Have you read your mother’s journal?”
“No, I haven’t looked at it.”
“Oh,” Orion said. “I see.” After Darien flinched slightly beneath his hand he added, “I really have done a poor job of showing you how proud I am. Things have been complicated here. I know it’s a poor excuse, but I want you to be here so you can understand how complicated things have been. Political or not, you’re intelligent enough to pick up on it all. I’ll do my best to be a better father. I want you to talk to me again like you used to.”
Nervously, Darien lifted his torso so he could meet his father’s eyes. “I just think this was a bad idea. I don’t want to let you down.”
“As cliché’ and silly as this may sound, you do not let me down.” He offered Darien a soft smile. “Sometimes you surprise me, this is true, and you don’t always do what I would prefer you to, but there’s something about how you make your decisions that’s very special. I should stop rambling like this. There’s just so much I want to say to you, and I only have a limited window of opportunity to do it. Now isn’t the time though. Are you sure you don’t want to join us for brunch?”
Darien nodded slowly. His stomach longed for food, but he didn’t feel ready to rejoin the group. “I’ll find something to eat on my own. I really am tired.”
“Brian is next door if you need something. Otherwise we’re at the lodge. I’ll be back to check on you before dinner time.”
“Okay.” Darien lay back down again with a heavy, tired sounding sigh.
“I love you, Darien.”
“I....” The words couldn’t come out. He felt a great amount of love for his father despite the feelings he harbored against him, but the words still just didn’t want to come. He was more afraid of breaking down in front of him than of speaking them.
Orion knew though. “I’ll be back soon to see how you’re doing.” His tone was light and pleasant at least.
While Darien never actually cried after his father left, he did feel an overwhelming amount of frustration. If he could stay on his best behavior, this topic would not come up again. All he had to do was fake it well enough for Orion to leave him alone again. He loved his father, and as much as he wanted the man’s approval Darien wasn’t going to kid himself. Orion wasn’t going to approve of the child his wife chose over him, so it was pointless to try.
Chapter Fourteen
I need to get out of here because I think I’m going crazy. No, I’m positive I am. Sometimes I pinch myself to remind myself that this is real. Most of the time, I’m disappointed when I don’t wake up, but the first time I wasn’t disappointed happened this morning.
It scared me. I’m far from adjusted to being here, but I couldn’t help but feel comfortable with Darien lying next to me in bed. Then I tell myself it’s wrong to feel this way because of what he’s done to me. I should not be comfortable with him. The comfort is only coming from the warmth he radiates off of him. Not just his body, but his soul.
His gentleness creates this light about him. I’m not sure how to explain it, but it’s inviting. It’s the one thing that makes me want to get to know him. Under different circumstances, we might have been friends.
There was a boy I knew from the neighborhood once who was a lot like him. He was older by about seven years, but my twelve-year-old self thought he was amazing. He was the kind of guy who couldn’t possibly ever disappoint me. Then I found out he was engaged to another girl, and that flew right out the window. His wife was nothing like me.
The guys from home never liked girls like me. I never met another nice guy since, or at least I never bothered to get to know another nice one if they existed. Why bother if I wasn’t dating material?
Which I don’t get why Darien thinks I’m so amazing. He barely knows me. He looks so surprised sometimes at some of the things I say to him. It’s pretty obvious he’s absolutely clueless about women, but I don’t think that’s his fault. There are too many men in this house, so it’s not like he knows any better.
Sometimes there are these moments when Darien glances my way, and I see him smile as if he has a secret. He doesn’t understand, but he’s confident in what he believes I’m almost jealous. I’ve never had that kind of faith in anything before. It’s flattering that he has so much faith in me, or rather in our future. It makes me want to believe him, and I like that he wants me, but I can’t get over this feeling of lack of control.
I wanted off the island. I’ve always wanted to go and see the world, and to know that there is so much more out there for me than living on Little Oceina Island and working some bland job while waiting for some guy to decide I’m finally worth his time.
Then when this guy got bored, he’d go, and I’d be stuck with my boring life, and no escape because I’d have no money to get out of there. It was never a secret that I was saving to move away. Mom was all for the idea. I didn’t want to leave like this though.
Now I’m in a different kind of prison. I’m off of the island, but with a man I didn’t choose to be with. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with my free time. I refuse to sit and do nothing, but it’s been made clear I can’t go and explore where I am. At least, not beyond the safety of these walls, or maybe it’s not the walls but the safety the magic the dragons provides.
Dragon, I can’t get over that. Darien is a dragon, but he looks so normal. If I couldn’t see the claws on his hands constantly, I’d forget. I always knew the dragons were magical, and could do some unbelievable things. I just never realized being human would be one of them. Were there dragons back home and I missed them? Do they only live in the city here on the main continent? How many are there? He said the other species did things differently.
I almost want to go and research this further. What I really want to know is how they’re able to keep it a secret so well. Will they always be able to? What would happen if it got out? Not like I’m planning on telling anyone. I don’t think anyone would believe me without proof, and I’m pretty sure I’d be dead if I tried anyway. I have no reason to tell. It’s a great story, but it’s their livelihood at stake. Not just Darien’s family but everyone’s.
People worship these creatures and look to them for guidance. I don’t think I could live with taking away someone’s hope. I don’t know if I believe the dragons can communicate with God Himself. I can ask Darien if that’s true or not. And I’m not sure how much of the religion I buy period, but I do know that it’s important to this country. I’m not going to be the one to ruin it.
Now I don’t know
what to do. I miss my mother. I’d feel better if I knew she was okay at least. Maybe I can ask Darien if I can go home and see her, or if he could check on her for me somehow. Is she completely alone? I hope not. I hope someone is with her. Maybe the man who owns the grocery store. I’ve seen them flirting before in the past, but he always stayed away from her when I was around. I think I scared him off. I realize now I probably shouldn’t have. If there’s one thing Darien has taught me it’s that everyone should have a chance. Granted, I’m not giving him one, as he makes sure to remind me frequently, but I’m at least willing to consider doing so when I get over everything that’s happened because of him.
I shouldn’t have slept with him. It wasn’t a bad experience, but it wasn’t the right thing to do. Does he know my reasons for wanting it were not the same as his? He has to know. I don’t understand why he would sacrifice something so important to him for me. He says it’s because he loves me, and the way he says it makes me want to believe him. He’s so convincing. His eyes twinkle a little with determination, and he gives me that knowing, secret, smile, and he speaks with so much conviction. I just don’t understand how. I’ll ask him when he comes home. I need to know, and I need to know what will happen to me when he decides he’s done with me.
After writing for hours and cramping up her hand so badly she could no longer use it, Tai finally stopped writing in the journal. She counted the pages she had filled with her nearly unreadable handwriting and was amazed by how much she had poured into them. “Wow,” she breathed as she flipped through the journal. But she did feel better - much better - and that was the most important part. She cried throughout most of the process as she stumbled upon one surprising revelation after the next and completely emptied herself.
She did indeed feel empty and dry, but it was a welcome feeling compared to the constant thoughts swimming and plaguing her before. Everything was in order now, and maybe she could carry out a conversation with Darien and not feel so confused. “Maybe I should check on him and make sure he got there okay.” Or maybe she should leave him alone. He was probably too busy anyway.
Legend of the Oceina Dragon (The Dragons Saga) Page 6