Wrapped in Lace

by Lane, Prescott

  I searched the streets some more, looking to see if that was really her, but I didn’t see her. I was so tired I must be seeing things now. I sat back down on the bench. She wasn’t the only reason I’d come back to McAdenville. She was the main reason, but not the only one. I had other things to work out, and I’d just have to let her go somehow. She obviously didn’t love me.

  “Uncle Drew,” Jack called out, running towards me carrying a ball, my parents following not far behind.

  “Hey, Jack. Thanks for coming to play with me in the park.” I tried to put on a cheery face. The little boy didn’t deserve a grump for an uncle, and I was the only one he had.

  My mom and dad reached us, but they didn’t embrace me this time. They both just stood there waiting—waiting for me to come to them. They’d been waiting for that for six long years. I tousled Jack’s hair as I stepped around him, opened my arms, and pulled them both into a hug. I tried to squeeze as hard as my mom does, but no one hugs like her. I felt tears rolling down my neck and shirt. They were both crying. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I left like that again.”

  Their arms got tighter around me. “Thought we were playing ball,” Jack said, pushing on my leg. I pulled back from my parents, giving them a minute to collect themselves, and flipped Jack upside down. He started laughing, and I tickled his belly.

  We spent the afternoon tossing the ball around and playing in the leftover snow from Christmas. It didn’t make up for me not being around his whole life, but it was a start. I had to start somewhere. My dad took Jack’s hand, suggesting some hot cocoa, and started for a little shop across the street, leaving me with my mom. I knew she wanted to talk to me alone.

  She sat down on the bench, and I paused for a second before taking a seat beside her, my heart tugging slightly as I wondered whether I’d ever not think of Piper when I saw this bench. It’s funny. I was always afraid memories of Ellie and Rob would haunt me in McAdenville. But instead, it was memories of Piper that filled my mind.

  “This was nice,” my mom said.

  “It was.” I put my arm around her. “We’ll do it more often.” But I wasn’t sure she believed me.

  “This was easy. Rob and Ellie won’t be so much fun. It won’t be easy to fix that relationship.”

  “I’m not planning on fixing anything. What Rob and I had is over. It won’t ever be that way again. It can’t be. I can’t stand his wife.” I saw her trying to fight it, but a smile snuck out. “I’m just letting it all go. You know what I mean.”

  “I think so.”

  “I just don’t want to waste any more time on them. I’m tired of being pissed off.”

  “That’s good, baby.” She put her hand on my arm, giving me a little pat. “I’m proud of you.”

  “Mom, you need to know that Rob and I aren’t going to be buddies. I need you to be ok with that.”

  “If it means I get to see my baby more, then I’m fine with that.” She reached up and stroked my cheek. “How long are you staying?”

  “Probably drive back to Raleigh on New Year’s Eve, but I’ll be back when Rob and Ellie have the babies. I promise.”

  “What about Piper?” my mom asked.

  I felt the pain in my chest creeping up my throat. I just shook my head slightly, knowing if I tried to talk my voice would give me away.

  “Don’t you leave town without seeing her, Drew,” she said, giving me the mother look.

  I shook my head again, hoping no tears fell out of my eyes. I didn’t cry, ever—especially over women—not even Ellie.

  “Drew Timothy Landon.” Shit, this was serious, she had evoked the full name. That’s never good. “New Year’s Eve morning before you leave, we are baking this out. You hear me?” I nodded, and she pulled my chin down and stared into my eyes. “New Year’s Eve morning.”

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  PIPER

  I held the door open to my studio as Hank struggled up the stairs. “Thank you for doing this. Just put it anywhere.”

  Hank put down the sheet-covered crib, rubbing his back slightly. “I can’t believe you were unloading this yourself. Glad I pulled up.”

  It had been stupid of me to try to move it myself. I was pretty strong, and with some struggle, I’m sure I could have gotten it up the stairs. It was only a cradle, but if I was carrying a baby, I knew better than to lift something so heavy. I had to do better, no matter how shitty I felt. “Thanks again,” I said, adjusting the sheet, not wanting Hank to know what was beneath it.

  “Firefly, is everything all right?” Hank asked.

  Hank was a very perceptive man. I guess most bartenders probably are, but I wasn’t ready to unload my troubles. After all, I wasn’t sitting on one of his barstools. My phone rang, saving me, and I grabbed it quickly. I made myself sick with how pathetic I was, how much I wanted every ring to be Drew. “I need to take this,” I said. Hank gave a nod and left.

  I took a deep breath, knowing I needed to answer. It was Sabrina, and I’d been avoiding her. My guilt set in. She’d called me so many times, and I hadn’t picked up. I couldn’t leave her hanging. “Hi, Sabrina. I’m alive, but I don’t want to talk about it.”

  I heard her release a loud huff. “What happened?”

  “I just can’t.” I felt myself starting to cry again.

  “Ok, why don’t you tell me where you are, and I’ll come over.”

  “No, I’m a mess. I just want. . . .” The tears started to pour out, and I couldn’t stop them.

  “Ok, sugar. I’ll just stay on the line. You go ahead and cry. I’ll be here,” Sabrina whispered. “Go ahead, get it all out.”

  I started to sob, but I didn’t think I’d ever get it all out. I clung to the phone, tears running down my face, my chest heaving, unable to catch a good breath. And through it all, I just heard Sabrina breathing deeply on the other end of the phone. She didn’t say a word, just like she promised. I knew she was there. I knew she wouldn’t hang up. This was a true friend, someone who would sit in your shit with you and just let you be. I wasn’t sure how much time had passed when my tears finally slowed. “I love him,” I whispered like it was some big secret.

  “Did you tell him?”

  I knew I had several chances to tell him and never did. Idiot. “No, he left. He just left me.” I started to sob again.

  “He’s still in town. Matt talked to him. He didn’t leave.”

  “I know. I saw him, too, but he said there was nothing in McAdenville for him. I’m sure that included me because he hasn’t tried to call or see me or anything.”

  “It sounds like he’s got a lot to work out with his family. Matt told me some of the history with him and his family.”

  “Yep, it’s a mess.”

  “Well, maybe you don’t want to be caught up in that.”

  “But, I do. I don’t care. I love him.” And I knew that was true. I just wanted to be with Drew. I didn’t care about his family issues. I didn’t care about the distance anymore. I didn’t care about any of it. I only cared about Drew.

  I heard Sabrina sigh. I knew I sounded like one of those pathetic girls I hated. “Maybe he just needs some time to work out his shit,” Sabrina said.

  “I’m out of time.”

  “What’s that mean?”

  I thought for a minute, debating whether to tell Sabrina I might be pregnant. Davis already knew, and it would be nice to have a girl to talk to about it. But I wasn’t sure Sabrina could keep it a secret from Matt, and I didn’t want to put her in that position. And I couldn’t risk Matt knowing. He might tell Drew. “Nothing, thanks for listening.”

  “Are you sure you don’t want to come out with us for New Year’s Eve? Might do you some good.”

  “Thank you, but I just want to be alone. I’ll call you in a few days.” I hung up then lowered my head to my knees, unable to believe I’d misread Drew so badly. Ellie had been right. He’d simply walked away without giving me a second thought.

  *

  I sat back and studi
ed the canvas. I’d finally gotten it right—the way his lips turn up in that smile that makes both my heart and panties melt. It had taken me over a dozen tries to get it just perfect, but I finally had. Unfortunately, I didn’t feel any better. I thought if I could capture Drew’s smile on my canvas, my pain would somehow lessen. Because I’d always have his image, that his leaving me wouldn’t hurt so bad. It hadn’t worked. The pain in my heart was just as sharp, just as overwhelming as it was yesterday and the day before. I knew I’d never get over him. I knew it like I knew the deep blue color of his eyes, the rough spots on his hands. I knew it like I knew the way his lips tasted, the feel of his thick brown hair.

  I leaned back against the sofa and reached for my phone, seeing that my voicemail was full. I listened to countless messages from Sabrina and Davis. I’d also missed a call from my mom, but nothing from Drew. I called Granddaddy on his cell and left him a message. I didn’t want him to worry, but I didn’t plan on leaving my studio anytime soon. I needed to paint, sketch, draw, and do whatever else I could to get out my feelings, to try to forget about Drew. I knew he’d planned on leaving tomorrow, so I just needed to hide out here until New Year’s Day, then I’d buck up and face the world, hopefully not as a single mom.

  I hated feeling this way, dreading the possibility of being pregnant. It’s what my mother had gone through with me. And even though I was grown, there’s something about growing up knowing that not only weren’t you planned, you weren’t wanted, that never leaves you. Drew saying I was “nothing” was such a blow because I’d had that feeling before—a lot, actually, as a little girl. My mother had left me like I was nothing, like I meant nothing to her. This pain I was feeling wasn’t just about Drew. I knew that. He’d struck an old wound, one I thought I’d mended with my mom years ago, but here it was, rearing its ugly head.

  I didn’t want my child to ever have that feeling—the feeling of nothingness. I patted my belly, vowing that I’d never let my child feel unwanted a day in his or her life. I may be alone and my child may be fatherless, but I’d be Mom and Dad. I’d have to be. I had two more days to wallow and feel sorry for myself, but then that was it. Come New Year’s Day, I’d accept what life gave me without regrets. It would be my New Year’s resolution. There was no other choice.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  DECEMBER 30

  DREW

  I couldn’t remember the last time I got any real sleep—in Charlotte with Piper the day after Christmas, I think. And last night was no different. She was the only thing I could think about. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw Davis with his arms around her, heard her words echoing in my head, we need to talk. I rubbed the stubble on my face, not having the energy to shave again today. Besides, I was just going over to the bar to see Rob, and he wouldn’t care.

  I pulled my new truck into the parking lot and took a deep breath. I didn’t want to go in, not because I was afraid of Rob, but because this was my last stop before I left for Raleigh, before I left without Piper next to me. My chest tightened again, and I wondered if maybe I was having mini-heart attacks. Tomorrow, I’d drive out of McAdenville, and Piper would probably end up with Davis. The mere thought of it sickened me. At least I was going to the bar, where I could possibly drink my pain away.

  Opening the door, I found the place was empty. It didn’t open for another few hours. The bar was dark except for one lone light, illuminating Rob as he stood up from behind the bar with a couple bottles in his hands. God, his face was a bloody mess. I’d really done a number on him. The door closed behind me as Rob and I stared at each other. He put the bottles away then turned back and pointed to his face. “Jack’s still trying to come up with a color name for this,” he said.

  I took a few steps closer. Jack was a nice, neutral subject, common ground for us to start with. “What’d he come up with?”

  “Right now, he just calls me gross face,” Rob said, cracking a smile.

  “Knew I liked that kid. It does look pretty bad.” I stuck my hands in my jean pockets. “I shouldn’t have hit you.”

  Rob shrugged. “I knew I was provoking you.”

  I gave him a little nod. That was as close to an apology as I think either one of us was willing to give. “What did Ellie say?”

  Rob leaned on the bar. “She’s pregnant with twins, on bedrest, and her husband got in a fight. I keep getting hit. She’s not happy.” He stretched out his neck. “Sleeping on the coach.”

  I looked down, unsure where to go with this conversation. “She must’ve learned that from Mom. All their fights end up with Dad on the sofa.”

  Rob cocked a smile then motioned between us. “This sucks.”

  “It does,” I agreed. “I need to know something. Ellie told me she was drinking that night.”

  “She was with a group of girls. Between the four of them, they maybe had half a beer. Nothing that happened that night had anything to do with booze.”

  “But you were drinking?” I asked, half-hoping Rob’s judgment was impaired when he decided to screw my girlfriend.

  “No, I didn’t drink a drop,” Rob said, his eyes closed, shaking his head at himself. “I screwed you over, little brother. I know that. I saw my shot with Ellie and I took it.”

  “Did you think about me at all? Did you think about you and me, our relationship?”

  “This is going to sound like a bastard thing to say, but I loved her more than I loved you.”

  I sat with that for a minute, wondering if it was supposed to hurt. But it didn’t. I understood it. I hadn’t loved Ellie more than I loved Rob. It was the loss of my brother that hurt more. And I knew I loved Piper more than anyone else on this earth. I loved her so much I was here making peace with my brother.

  “I don’t say that to hurt you, Drew. I didn’t do this lightly. I hoped you guys would break up. Ellie and I would end up together, and we’d tell you later. After you were over her. I thought I could have her and you in my life. I chose her over you, but that didn’t mean I didn’t miss my brother or want him in my life. I’ve missed you, Drew.”

  I gave him a little nod but wasn’t going to go any farther than that. This wasn’t some Disney movie. Things could never go back to the way they were, but I didn’t have to hate him, either. I took a seat at the bar. “I’m sorry about Ellie and the babies. I’d never want anything bad to happen to your wife or kids. I hope you know that.”

  “I do.”

  “She really did ask to talk to me.”

  Rob started to shred a napkin on the bar. “I know. I was scared and mad at Ellie. I couldn’t blame her, so I blamed you.”

  “Why were you mad at her?” I couldn’t believe I asked that. Rob and I used to talk about everything, and even after all this time, I slipped right back into that place.

  “Because she stills cares about you,” Rob said quietly.

  I started to say something then thought a little more before opening my mouth. “I don’t think so. Pretty much think she hates my guts.”

  Rob shook his head. “You were her first love.” He looked up at me. “She’ll always care for you. That’s the part I never thought about six years ago.”

  I wasn’t sure if that was true, but Piper had told me the same, and Rob seemed certain of it. And it seemed to bother him. When Ellie and I were together, things were natural. It just sort of happened, but it seemed Rob and Ellie were more forced. He may have loved her from the beginning, but it was work for him to get her to love him. It seemed a part of him would always wonder whether she loved me more—if given the choice, if she’d still choose me over him. Me being in McAdenville was just as hard on him as it was on me, maybe more. He had to face what he did to me and the fact that his wife still cared for his baby brother. Ouch! I’d never thought about that before.

  “Are you planning on talking to her while you’re here?” Rob asked. “Making peace?”

  “No, I don’t have anything I need to say to her. I’ll leave that to you.”

  “That’s probably
for the best,” Rob said, releasing a deep breath.

  “Losing her wasn’t the hard part,” I said, seeing Rob’s eyes widen. “I got over her pretty quick. Losing my big brother was much, much harder. It was losing our dream to run this place together and raise our kids together. That was hard to let go of.”

  “But look at everything you’ve got.” Rob shook his head and held up a rag. “I can’t remember the last time I left this damn state. Where’d you spend last Christmas?”

  “Hawaii,” I said.

  “Must be tough.”

  “I work hard, Rob.”

  “I know you do, and I’m proud of you. I’m jealous as hell, but still proud.”

  “Jealous?” I asked. “But you got everything we ever talked about—the girl, the family, the bar, McAdenville.”

  Rob forced a little smile. “Those were kids’ dreams. I wanted to travel, see the world, have a life beyond the bar, beyond this town.” He shook his head. “Seems like I’m still envious of my baby brother.”

  I hadn’t considered how trapped Rob might feel. I was always so focused on what he had, I never thought about all the things he never got a chance to do because he was married and a father by the time he was twenty-one. “Maybe don’t blow up my life this time because you’re jealous,” I said, smiling broadly at him.

  He gave me a smile then he pushed on his eyes, holding in tears. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I hurt you so badly.”

  I couldn’t believe he’d finally apologized, after all these years. I never thought it would make a difference, but it did somehow. Seeing him so sincere, tearfully saying he was sorry, didn’t make things the same or erase all the bad, but it did make me want to forgive him. “Thanks for saying that.” I tried to keep myself composed. “I could use a drink.”

  “Lemon Drop?” Rob smirked.

  I gave a slight chuckle. “A little girly! How about a beer?”