“I can check you out if you’re ready.”
“Actually I need to get a few more items.”
She smiled. “Okay, I’ll be up front once you’ve found everything.”
“Perfect.” He managed to keep his groan of mortification to himself.
She turned and waddled away. His relief was short-lived. Although he’d lost his elderly shadow, he still had no idea where the hell the condoms were. He looked to the ceiling for a sign, not missing the irony. He’d gotten a sign all right. God frowned on premarital sex and this was His way of punishing Ricky.
He rounded the corner of another aisle, tampons in hand, and literally bumped into a pimple-faced kid. His tall and gangly didn’t stand a chance against Ricky’s bulk and he toppled into the display of…condoms!
Boxes flew everywhere as Mr. Should-be-keepin’-it-in-his-pants fell right on his bony ass. The little shit cursed up a storm. With a sweep of his arm, he sent Lifestyles Ultra Sensitives skidding across the linoleum.
Ricky extended a hand, actually surprised when the punk accepted his help.
He shuffled his feet. “Should we clean this up?”
Ricky grabbed a couple of boxes from the remaining display and shook his head. “I don’t plan on it.”
Mr. Tall-Blonde-and-Dorky bent down to pick up a box and Ricky put his hand on his shoulder. “Word of unwanted advice, kid, life’s a whole less complicated if you don’t go there.”
He snorted. “And you’re gonna tell me you kept it in a knot until you were happily married?”
“Nope. I’m tellin’ you to learn from my mistakes.” Ricky didn’t stick around to see whether or not his advice mattered. No skin off his nose. He had more important things to worry about. Like how the hell to get out of the store without coming face-to-face with his good buddy, the oh, so very helpful Marge.
Standing behind the register, smiling from ear to ear, she waved as he approached. “Did you find everything?”
“Yes,” he said, not meeting her eyes.
He heard a beep, then her soft chuckle. “Are you sure you really need these tampons?”
“Yes.”
“They’re almost thirteen dollars, you know?”
No, he didn’t know. “Yes, I know. Yes, I need them. Please just ring them up. I have to get home to my wife.”
“Your wife’s on a trip.”
“Seriously, Marge, you’re a little more helpful than I needed tonight. Thank you.” He swiped his debit card and hurried out of the store, vowing he would never, ever step foot inside again.
10
Shayne started to worry about Ricky. She fiddled with the radio, changing the station for no other reason than to give herself something to do. It didn’t take that long to buy a single box of condoms. She should have gone with him.
Except, yeah, no, that would have been completely humiliating. The better option in that case would have been a t-shirt with we’re going to have sex later in bold, neon letters across it.
She’d actually opened her door when Ricky came out of the store. All the color had drained from his face. In his fist a white bag dangled helplessly banging against his thigh. Oh man, he did not look happy.
He whipped the door open. She closed hers. He climbed in, all but throwing the bag at her. He jammed the transmission into reverse, tires squealing their departure.
“You didn’t steal these, did you?”
“No.”
She opened the bag and frowned. “Why’d you buy tampons? Ya know, I’m both gratified and a little weirded out that this is the brand I use.”
They stopped at the one red light between the store and home and he leaned forward, resting his head against the steering wheel. “That was the single worst experience of my entire life.”
More than once she’d giggled at an inappropriate time. Judging by his scowl this was yet another one.
“What happened?”
He started the story. Shayne was pretty sure she would have liked Marge and decided in the upcoming days she’d stop in to meet her. Incognito, of course.
As the story went on, Shayne’s inappropriate giggle turned into an uncontrolled hoot. She actually snorted. Tears formed in the corners of her eyes.
“He actually fell down, taking the display with him?”
He shook his head. For the first time since he’d gotten into the car, his lips curved upward. Slightly. Then, as the light turned green, he busted up. He wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand.
“Seriously, Shayne, when we’re married for real, I promise not to lose track of you like that.” His deep laughter continued to swirl around her, mingling with the confusion his statement brought out in her.
Confusion because she both liked and loathed the idea of being his wife. Loathed it, because she really, really liked it.
Ricky still chuckled, totally oblivious to her inner turmoil, when the garage door began its ascent. He eased the car into the brightly lit space and pressed the button for the door to go back down. He unbuckled his seatbelt, turned off the car, and put his hands back on the steering wheel. He stared out the windshield.
He sucked in a breath, blew it out through rounded lips. He closed his eyes, turning toward her when they opened. The vulnerability there both warmed and broke her heart. His hands dropped to his thighs. He rubbed his palms against the denim.
“I really don’t want to screw this up, Shayne, so I gotta ask, now that you’re not caught up in the moment, do you still want to come inside?”
“Yes.”
His body relaxed.
“And no.”
He tensed, his forearms flexing with the tightening of his fists. “Good hell! I can’t keep up with you.”
She put her hand on his arm and willed him to look at her. He didn’t. She wanted to have this conversation with him, but it didn’t seem doing so in the warming car, while waiting for the garage light to time out, was the correct answer. She opened her door and stepped out. If he didn’t follow her, she supposed she’d make herself at home and wait for him to come inside.
When she opened the door to his house, the one on his car popped open. She didn’t turn around, simply walked inside. The door closed with a soft slam. Shayne didn’t turn around. She half expected him to come up behind her. Actually, more than expected, hoped. Her thoughts and emotions twisted and spun, confusing her even more.
She headed through the tall arch. She walked over to the overstuffed leather couch and sat down on the chocolate sofa. Ricky cleared his throat and she looked over to find him leaning against the entryway.
“Can we talk?” She patted the couch next to where she sat.
He paused, keeping space between them. A buffer. Protection. She tapped her hand against the cushion again.
“Please.”
She saw more than heard his sigh, witnessed his resolve crumble under her plea. He took a step forward. His body language screamed protest. That he would put what she’d asked above what he wanted made her feelings for him that much harder to deny. And yet, she couldn’t admit them to herself much less him.
He advanced slowly, more like a man approaching the gallows than the carefree guy he’d been all day. He sat at the other end of the couch, leaving a full cushion between them.
Screw that! She scooted over and he frowned. She put her hand on his thigh and he scowled. She swore she could feel the heat of his death stare burning a hole through her hand.
He didn’t look up. His jaw jumped twice. “Whatever game you’re playing, I’m not interested.”
She leaned in and kissed the strong angle of his jaw, his whiskers abrasive against her lips. “I need to take this slow, Ricky.” She put her hand against his cheek, using gentle pressure to turn his face. His eyes closed. Her heart broke a little. He certainly wasn’t going to make this easy.
She kissed him again. On the mouth this time. “Thank you for today.”
His eyes popped open and the fury in them made her sit back. “You were going to s
leep with me because you’re thankful? Nice. Really damned nice.”
“Don’t you dare pull the wounded hero act!” She crossed her arms over her chest, balling her hands into fists. “I’m freaking out over here and you’re so worried I’m going to dump you, you’re missing the damn boat.”
He jerked like she’d slapped him. He didn’t apologize, but didn’t rebuke her either.
Silence stretched for a few minutes. The longest, most excruciating minutes of her life.
He turned, finally looking at her again. His eyes scoured her face as though he were memorizing every inch. She held her breath, unsure of what he might be reading within the freckles and lines.
“Let’s just call a spade a spade, okay?”
She managed a nod.
His hand on her cheek calmed her. She closed her eyes and leaned into his touch. The press of his mouth against hers surprised her. He pulled away, his thumb tracing over her lips. His finger took over, trailing down her shoulder and arm to clasp her hand. He placed it over his heart. The rapid cadence made her think of a rabbit being pursued by a fox.
But wasn’t she supposed to be the frightened rabbit?
He inhaled, closed his eyes, exhaled. This man, with all of his muscle, was preparing to lay himself wide. Although she’d recognized it, she still wasn’t ready to hear his words.
His eyes opened and Shayne lost herself in the gorgeous sparkle of onyx. “I am crazy about you, Shayne. I have to be to go through what I did tonight just to be with you. I’m not killing time with you until I get bored or something better comes along. I’m looking for a future. With you. And Matt. I’m falling, amor, and I don’t even care that I don’t have a parachute.” He sighed. “If you’re not looking for long term, that’s okay.” He snorted. “I’m such a freakin’ liar. That would so not be okay with me, but I’m trying to be chivalrous.”
Tears gathered in her eyes for the second time tonight, but for a very different reason. Her breath caught.
“You are the most chivalrous man I know.”
“Shayne, why are you freaking out?”
“Because you say things like that and I can picture everything you just said. I do want long term with you, but—” She shook her head. “—I’m not there. Not yet anyway. My life has been spinning out of control for the last few years. Heck, it’s been a tornado my whole life with the occasional break when the eye passes through. I don’t know where I’ll be tomorrow, let alone months from now. What I do know is that it’d be a shame to waste all your hard work and not put those condoms to good use.”
He lifted her hand and kissed the palm. “There’s no pressure on my side. If tonight’s not right, we’ll wait.”
And more pebbles fell over the edge, leaving even more air under her toes. If he kept being who he was, it wouldn’t be long before she found herself falling too.
“I’m not a tease, Ricky. I want you to know that.”
“I do.”
“If you’d had a condom earlier, I wouldn’t have put the brakes on.”
“I know.” He grimaced. “And I’m seriously kicking my own ass, but you need to know that when I finally make love to you, I don’t want you to be freaking out or feeling obligated. Or grateful. It’ll be because you’re ready to open yourself completely to me.”
“I’ve never had a man I could depend on.”
His brows frowned. “What about X?”
“My mother took me and left my father when I was four, X was twelve. I didn’t remember I even had a brother until he showed up in my life a few months ago. Daddy Dearest was an ass. The one memory I have of him, he had his hand raised, ready to slap me for getting Play-Doh on the carpet. X stepped between us. Our dad beat the shit out of him. My mom gathered me up and we ran. I don’t know the specifics. My mom’s gone. I guess I’ll never know.”
She sighed and looked down at her hands. “Apparently our father told X, he searched under every stone to find us. Since I lived in only two places and we kept our names, we know that’s not true.”
She couldn’t believe all those words had tumbled out. X had lived the nightmare of their separated childhoods and she’d not been able to open up to her brother. But Ricky, with his kind eyes, his understanding expression and quiet inner strength, she found herself wanting to depend on him.
“My track record with men hasn’t been that great.”
“What about Matt’s father?” His voice was quiet, his tone calm, but the simple question rocked her like a nine-point earthquake.
She attempted a smile. “You can get pregnant the first time you have sex.”
“How old were you?”
“Almost seventeen.” Guilt snaked up her body. She placed her hand on her throat to keep it from strangling her. “I don’t regret having Matt. He’s the greatest thing in my life. His conception might have been a nightmare, but I don’t regret its result. I love him.”
Ricky took her hands in his and tugged her into an awkward hug, the angles of their bodies all wrong. Despite the hitch in her side, she did what she could to relax the muscles not cocked funny. She laid her head against the soft pad of his pec, resting her hand on his abdomen.
He kissed the top of her head. “Don’t we have a movie to watch?”
“You’re okay with that?”
He eased her away from him, kissed the tip of her nose. “You get the movie from the car. I’ll pop some popcorn.”
***
Lying on the couch with Shayne in his arms, Ricky couldn’t remember the last time he’d experienced such honest-to-God contentment. They’d stretched out, him behind her. She rested her head on his bicep and had promptly fallen asleep.
He spent the time memorizing everything about her. He loved the way her tight bottom tucked perfectly into his groin. Her sleepy undulations ground against him in excruciating bliss. One of her feet tucked in between his calves and he shivered at the icy temperature.
Goosebumps formed on her skin. Ricky ran a hand over her arm and wrapped his body around her. If she didn’t look so sweet and comfortable, he’d have gotten up to get a blanket. She sighed in her sleep, tucked one hand under her cheek and twisted a finger around a lock of hair.
Spreading his hand wide on her belly, he felt the hard bones of her hips, the bottom of her ribcage and the softness of her abdomen. She was slender, no argument there, but he actually liked she didn’t have the rock hard abs like some of the models he’d dated.
This woman, this amazing woman, was real. No plastic surgery, no fish lips or hair extensions. He inched his fingers toward her chest, wondering if her breasts had been surgically enhanced. Either way would totally be okay with him.
What man didn’t love a great rack?
Just as he decided maybe molesting her in her sleep wasn’t such an amazing idea, she grabbed his hand, pulling his arm tighter around her body. When she used his palm to cup her breast and tucked his fingers under her body, he damn near lost control of his libido. He wondered if she’d woken, but as he leaned in to kiss her cheek, she snored softly.
He smiled. Shayne Xavier may not want him curled around her when she was awake, but her subconscious certainly had different ideas. He could work with that.
He didn’t move for the duration of the movie, afraid she would wake up. When the credits began to roll, he debated on acting like he’d fallen asleep too, keeping her snuggled next to him all night. But he thought of Matt.
Damn, that kid seriously rocked. His quick wit and lack of filter had woven its way into Ricky’s heart. He’d never be able to let either of them go. Matt or his mother. Ricky loved them both.
And sometimes you had to sacrifice what you wanted to do, so badly you ached, for the needs of those loved ones.
He kissed Shayne’s cheek. He rubbed his hand over her stomach, feeling the deep, steady breaths shorten. She stretched, her round butt digging in his groin. They groaned together. She jerked forward, nearly falling into the floor.
“I’m sorry.”
&nb
sp; “It’s okay,” he said, although he had no idea what exactly she referred to, the falling asleep on him or the inadvertent tease. He pushed the hair back from her face and stared into her eyes. “We’d better get you home.”
“Mmm. I haven’t slept that well in I don’t know how long.” She pushed on his arm as though she were fluffing him. “You make an awesome pillow.”
“I’m at your service.”
She raised her arms up and stretched again. Her t-shirt lifted and his eyes shot to the slice of creamy skin. He couldn’t help himself. He had to touch her, but as soon as his hand connected with her warm flesh, she grabbed the hem of her shirt and yanked it back down over her waistband. She skittered away from him, forgetting her only option was the floor. She landed with an uncoordinated thunk!
She blinked up at him, color rising in her cheeks. “I’ve got flaws, Ricky.”
“Not physical ones.” He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “You’re absolutely gorgeous.”
She snorted. “You just go right on believing that.” She rose to her feet and held out her hand. “Come on, I’d better get home to Matt.”
11
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. As Ricky listened to his brother rail on him for not pulling his weight with the moving company, he knew he’d progressed into certifiable.
Thankfully Eddie postponed his little diatribe until Shayne had slipped off to the bathroom. Matt, however, sat stiff as a board, poking his milkshake with the straw, trying to melt into the wall.
“Take my damn half.” Ricky glowered at his brother. His shit had fermented years ago. “I don’t care.”
“I don’t want your half. I want your help!” Spittle formed in the corners of Eddie’s mouth, much like a rabid dog ready to attack.
“I have other shit on my plate, Eddie.”
Eddie nodded, his black eyes dulling in anger. “That’s right, All-Star Enrique Santiago needs more time to play.”
“Hey!” Matt leaned forward, puffing out his adolescent chest. “It’s not easy doing what Ricky does. My Uncle X—”
Lucky 13 (Deadlines & Diamonds) Page 10