by Karis Walsh
“It’s okay. I’m fine,” Lenae said. Her hand rested on Cara’s elbow as they walked. “Makes you realize how much Baxter does for me, doesn’t it?”
Cara watched Baxter and Pickwick as they alternately strained at the leashes and stopped to sniff plants and stumps along the way. She admired Baxter for what he offered Lenae and for how happily and well he did his job. She couldn’t imagine Pickwick doing the same thing for his future owner. She had a vision of him dragging some pour soul along a forest trail, like a person in a pinball machine, bouncing off trees and boulders and waterskiing over streams.
“Why are you laughing?” Lenae asked. “Does my twisted ankle amuse you?”
Cara bumped Lenae with her shoulder. “No, of course not. Careful here, we need to step over a log.” She slowed down and guided Lenae over the obstacle. “I was laughing because I was imagining Pickwick in harness. I can see, and he gets me into trouble when we walk down an empty sidewalk.”
“You have no imagination,” Lenae said. She ran into a low-hanging branch and took hold of it, using it to swat playfully at Cara. “Look at what a terrible guide dog you are right now. But I believe in you, and with the correct training methods I believe I’ll be able to whip you into shape.”
Cara took Lenae’s hand and moved it from her elbow to her shoulder. “The path narrows here, so it’ll be difficult to walk side-by-side. I’ll sacrifice my pretty face and blaze a trail for you through all these branches. What training methods did you have in mind? Extra treats to reward good behavior?” Was the whipping a threat or a promise?
Lenae rested both hands on Cara’s shoulders. Although she had fought against being seen as disabled with a guide dog when she first got Baxter, now she rarely relinquished the independence and freedom he gave her. Her restricted movement seemed even more pronounced to her when directly compared to her guided pace and mobility. But she wouldn’t have missed this trek for the world. She would have had an easier trip with Baxter guiding her, but she was enjoying the rare, desirable human contact with Cara enough to struggle through whatever stubborn self-consciousness she still carried with her. Even if Cara had been leading her flawlessly, Lenae might have been too distracted to follow her without tripping over her own feet. “Treats work in some cases, but with you I was thinking a mild electric shock every time you make a mistake…”
Cara halted abruptly and Lenae bumped into her. “Do I need to report you to some sort of human rights organization?”
Lenae’s body was flush against Cara’s back, but she didn’t move away. “All right, no shocks. But maybe one of those pronged training collars around your neck.” Lenae lifted her hands off Cara’s shoulders and lightly encircled her neck. “Just to keep you from misbehaving.”
Cara took Lenae’s hands and firmly put them back on her own shoulders. “Keep touching me like that, and I’ll do plenty of misbehaving.” She cleared her throat. “We’re going down to the beach now. The trail is going to be steep, so I’ll go slowly.”
“Maybe I should let the expert take over now,” Lenae said. She let go of Cara’s shoulders and called Baxter to her. She had been all too aware of her physical reaction to Cara’s nearness, but this was the first time she’d had a hint that Cara noticed an attraction, too. She wasn’t sure how to process the information yet, especially on a tricky mountain trail, so she retreated to the comfort of Baxter’s guidance.
Cara watched the dog shift into his careful, protective mode. He stayed close to Lenae and helped her down the slope. She seemed to read his thoughts as she followed his lead. Cara concentrated on getting herself down the hill without being dragged off the cliff by Pickwick, but she felt the loss of Lenae’s touch. She’d dated plenty of women in the past—of course, never quite sure if she was the attraction, or her famous family—but no one’s touch had affected her like this. How easy to let her façade slip when she was distracted by the feelings stirring from her shoulders, where Lenae’s hands had been, directly to her belly. And once she was free of her barriers, Lenae would realize Cara’s big secret. That there wasn’t anything beyond the face.
Perversely, she wanted to hide the truth about herself and get it out in the open at the same time. She felt as vulnerable as she had when Lenae had picked up the ashtray and read it through her fingers, as if she was reading a page of braille. Cara’s insecurities, her fears—constantly reinforced by her parents—that she would never measure up to the expectations of her family. Lenae noticed too much, and Cara needed distance. She wanted to push Lenae away, and Pickwick gave her the opportunity. If anything would make Lenae keep her distance, it would be the thought of Cara using her puppy walking for selfish reasons. “I have to remember to thank Des for choosing Pickwick for me,” she said, picking up the squirming puppy and attempting to carry him for a few yards. “He might not be the most successful guide dog, but he has one special skill.”
“What’s that?”
“He’s a chick magnet. I can’t walk through the store without being stopped at least once per department. Whatever else happens this year, I won’t be hurting for dates.”
Cara saw Lenae’s back stiffen, but she didn’t respond. If Lenae had had any doubts about Cara’s shallowness or about her less-than-ideal motives for puppy walking, Cara had just managed to prove her right. She wasn’t lying about Pickwick’s ability to attract women, but she neglected to mention her own lack of interest in the women who wanted to talk to her about Pickwick. Most of them mentioned the news spots, and Cara knew the combination of her family name and looks, combined with Pickwick’s puppy charm, was irresistible. Both attracted attention, but not for the right reasons.
Lenae relaxed once the walk from the bluff to the beach was over. The path had been tricky, with snags and a constant decline, but worse had been Cara’s admission about meeting other women. Lenae had been having fun, sharing her comments about the photos and learning about Cara by visiting her office, but somehow the thought of Cara dating other women made her feel sick. By now, she knew without a doubt that Cara was joking about using Pickwick in any way, but she didn’t have to work hard to imagine women stumbling over themselves to talk to Cara. Of course, she’d never date Cara, she wasn’t her type, they were too different, and…
Lenae sighed. Who was she kidding? She had gone over and over the reasons why she and Cara had no business developing a personal relationship beyond friendship. Her illogical response merely told her that she was more attracted to Cara than she had thought. Her hurt feelings had nothing to do with Cara’s actions and everything to do with her own runaway attraction. She could control one, but not the other.
*
“Do you mind if I let Baxter run?” Lenae asked when they reached the beach. It meant she’d need to touch Cara again, but she couldn’t deny her dog a bout of freedom. “He loves the beach, and we don’t get to the water often enough.”
“Sure.” Cara said. “He and Pickwick can play in the surf while we walk. I thought we could visit the college’s marine biology lab, and I can introduce you to a friend of mine.”
Lenae unhooked Baxter’s harness, and then slipped her arm through Cara’s. She breathed deeply, loving the salty air filling her lungs. The murky and fishy scent of low tide, the call of gulls overhead, the breeze lifting her hair and caressing the back of her neck. She needed this walk on the beach as much as Baxter did.
“I’ve never been to this part of Puget Sound,” Lenae said, distracting herself from the warmth of Cara’s skin, softly moist from the exertion of their hike, under her palm. “Will you describe it for me?”
“We’re at low tide right now, so the beach is covered with seaweed and broken shells. There are tall evergreen trees along the cliff behind us, and across the inlet, so it almost seems like we’re enclosed. You can see some houses on the other side of the water, the city of Olympia is just over the hill, and the college is right behind us, but it feels like we’re…I don’t know…”
Cara’s speech slowed to a halt.
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“In a terrarium?” Lenae asked.
Cara sighed. “Yes. That’s a good way to describe it. Isolated and self-contained.”
“I can sense an echo, almost,” Lenae said. She turned her head into the breeze coming off the water and closed her eyes. “As if we’re surrounded by stone and forest. But I can smell the chill of the ocean in the wind. No matter how separate some of these inlets are, they’re still connected to the Pacific. Part of it. Ocean air fills my lungs like no other air can.”
Cara swallowed and turned away from the gorgeous sight of Lenae’s face. Peace and relaxation softened her often somber appearance. She had the ability to fully immerse herself in an environment in a way Cara—so dependent on her sight—was unable to do. She watched Pickwick and Baxter take turns chasing each other through the wet sand. Baxter waded into the water until the long golden hairs on his belly touched the surface.
“The dogs are going to be muddy messes,” Cara said as Pickwick trotted toward them with a strand of kelp in his mouth, most of it dragging behind him. “Maybe Tess will have some towels so we can clean them before we head back.”
Cara had spent many lunch hours down here once she had met Tess, the head of the marine biology department, but she hadn’t yet brought Pickwick to meet her friend. She and Tess had noticed each other immediately at Cara’s first faculty get-together. She thought Tess was attractive, of course, with her athletic body and killer legs, but they were too different to even consider dating. Tess had a long list of requirements her potential partners had to meet, and Cara failed the test since she taught at the college and was looking for a relationship that would last longer than an afternoon. But she had found a sense of validation from Tess and their friendship. To have a smart and funny woman seek her out for companionship made Cara feel good, and the moment Lenae had told her she was coming to the college for Pickwick’s evaluation, Cara had known she wanted the two to meet.
Cara saw Tess pulling a sailboat onto the shore a few hundred yards ahead, where she was boisterously greeted by the two dogs. Tess shaded her eyes with her hand and turned toward Cara and Lenae. Even at such a long distance, Cara could see the admiration in Tess’s eyes when she looked at Lenae. Perhaps her decision to bring Lenae here had been rash. She had wanted Lenae to meet her friend, maybe to prove there was something worthy in her, but that was before Lenae had read her ashtray like tea leaves and seen too much. But the thought of the two of them hitting it off made her feel a bit queasy. And that made no sense at all.
“Hey, Cara! Is this your puppy? And who’s this handsome fellow?” Tess quickly covered the distance between them, the two dogs cavorting in her wake.
“Hi, Tess. Meet Pickwick and Baxter. And this is Lenae, the guide-dog trainer. Lenae, this is Tess Hansen, the Northwest’s leading expert on orcas in Puget Sound.” Cara kept Lenae’s hand tucked in the crook of her arm, but Lenae tugged loose and reached toward Tess.
“It’s nice to meet you, Tess. I’m fascinated by whales and their songs. What an interesting area of study.” Lenae shook hands with Tess, and Cara wanted to pull the two of them apart. She hadn’t thought this through. Yes, she wanted to push Lenae away, to put some distance between them, but she wasn’t ready to push her all the way into Tess’s arms. Her front-row view of Tess’s smile when she looked at Lenae made for an uncomfortable walk to the biology lab.
“I have some recordings of the pod I’ve been studying,” Tess said.
“I’d love to hear them.” Lenae called Baxter and he immediately trotted to her side. Pickwick had flushed a seagull, so he ignored Cara’s whistle and ran farther down the beach.
“What next, are you going to offer to show her your etchings?” Cara mumbled as she jogged after her puppy. He wasn’t ready to give up the chase after his seagull, and her jeans and shoes were soaked from the wet sand by the time she caught him. She carried him back to the lab, his scrabbling paws leaving dirty tracks on her gray T-shirt, to find Lenae sitting near a tiny space heater with Baxter at her feet.
“Cara?” Lenae called when the door clicked shut. Pickwick’s nails tapped across the floor toward her. “Was Pickwick enjoying his run on the beach too much to be caught?”
“Yes.” Cara said shortly.
“Here, feel this, Lenae,” Tess said. Lenae held out her hands and took the object from her. “There you are, Cara. Thought we lost you out there.”
Lenae slid her hand over the arced bone in her hand, curving her fingers over the jagged teeth. “Amazing,” she said. “I hadn’t realized how large their teeth are.”
“I have some other marine mammal skulls here. Let me get a few more for you to compare with this one, plus I have a leftover sandwich from lunch for Baxter. Oh, and your puppy can have some, too, Cara.”
“Your friend is nice,” Lenae said when they were alone. Cara had been uncommonly quiet since they had arrived on the beach, but every time she spoke, her voice had an edge to it.
“Yes, Tess is great. But be careful. She’s as predatory as those killer whales she studies.”
Lenae laughed at Cara’s warning. She thought Tess seemed friendly, but she hadn’t thought anything of it until Cara made her comment. Maybe that explained her subdued mood. Was Cara jealous? Of her, or of Tess?
“Is she one of the chicks you’re trying to attract with Pickwick?”
“No! She’s a good friend, but there’s nothing between us. We work together, and besides, we want totally different things out of a relationship. I’m just trying to protect you from taking her too seriously.”
“Ah. You’re trying to protect poor innocent little me,” Lenae said with a laugh. “I thought you had too much to worry about with all the women fawning over you and Pickwick to care about my romantic life.”
“Don’t look so smug. She’d flirt with one of the pylons outside if she thought she had a chance of getting it to go home with her.”
Tess returned with a porpoise skull and half of a tuna-fish sandwich for Baxter before she went off to another part of the lab to find more treasures for Lenae. Baxter wolfed down the treat without bothering to chew it.
“She’s like a dog playing fetch,” Cara said.
Lenae only laughed harder. “I guess Pickwick isn’t the only chick magnet around here,” she said. “Baxter seems to be holding his own.”
Cara was working on a smart retort when Tess came back with a couple of towels and a portable CD player. She tossed the towels at Cara.
“Your shirt is all muddy,” Tess said. She knelt and Pickwick ran over to her. “Here you go, cutie,” she said, giving him a cookie.
“It’s cutie’s fault that I’m such a mess.” She wiped at the paw prints covering the front of her shirt but only managed to smear the dirt around.
“Lenae, I thought you might want to hear some recordings I made of J pod when I was studying them last summer.” She pushed play and the eerily beautiful music of the whales filled the small room. Cara watched Lenae listen—her face rapt as her fingers traced the outline of the porpoise skull she still held in her hands. Tess paused the recording a few times to identify specific whales in the pod, and after a few minutes, Lenae was able to pick each distinctive voice out of the crowd, commenting on the qualities of each whale’s song.
This from a woman who couldn’t carry a tune when she was singing with the radio.
Cara sat on the floor near the heater and pulled a resisting Pickwick onto her lap. She rubbed his muddy paws with the towel, succeeding in getting it filthy without seeming to make much difference in Pickwick’s level of cleanliness. She gave up and let him loose to snuffle around Baxter, licking up the occasional sandwich crumb. Whale songs and baleen and shark teeth. Tess had an arsenal of interesting objects for Lenae to touch or listen to. Cara had only had an old ashtray, a relic from her odd childhood. She couldn’t compete with Tess. Besides, hadn’t she already alienated Lenae by telling her about Pickwick’s magnetic personality? She leaned back on one hand and pulled her vibrating pho
ne out of her pocket. She saw her dad’s name and sighed. He was probably calling to give her more tips for improving her performance on his news show. She had received similar calls every week and was tempted to ignore this one, but even talking to her dad seemed preferable to listening to Tess and Lenae discuss whales.
“Hey, Dad,” she said, turning away from Lenae as Tess handed her another handful of bones. What a creepy way to flirt.
“Great news, child. Your weekly spot has gotten some special notice.”
“Well, good. Hopefully it’ll mean more donations and support for Lenae’s center.” Lenae turned in her direction and Baxter perked up his ears at the sound of her name.
“Oh, yes…of course,” Howard continued. “I’m sure it will. Because you and that puppy of yours are going to be on national television, and she’s invited to be there, too.”
“What?” Cara’s voice must have revealed her dismay because even Tess and Pickwick stopped what they were doing and looked at her.
“What’s wrong?” Lenae asked. “Is it bad news?”
“Depends on your interpretation.” Cara hesitated to explain because she was quite certain Lenae would be less than thrilled by the news. “We have to go home and pack because our flight leaves in the morning.”
“Flight? To where? Why?” Lenae handed the bones back to Tess and stood. Baxter moved close to her side.
“To New York,” Cara said miserably. “We’re going to be on the Morning Across America show in two days.”
Chapter Seventeen
Lenae felt along the edge of the airplane aisle to make sure Baxter’s paws and tail were safe from being trodden on when the rest of the passengers boarded. She sat back in her seat with a sigh. The normal pre-boarding period was usually more than enough time for her and Baxter, but the additional responsibility of Cara and Pickwick had meant every second was needed to get settled. She’d have preferred not to be on the flight at all, but at least Cara’s dad had insisted on buying them first-class tickets. Trying to maneuver through the coach section with a manic puppy, his nervous handler, and all the well-intentioned but annoying attendants would have been too much for Lenae to handle.