by Sonia Nova
Then, he was gone, striding away from her and not turning back. He passed through the double doors of the hangar and they shut behind him.
For a moment, Olivia stood rooted to the floor, unable to turn away from where he’d been moments ago.
She jumped violently when someone lay a hand on her shoulder, and turned to see she’d been surprised by Naia again.
“Oh,” she said, calming her breathing. “Sorry, you gave me a fright.”
Naia must have followed her down from the residential area to make sure she was okay, or perhaps to see if her own mate hadn’t left yet. Mito was still sleeping soundly on her arm.
“It’s hard,” Naia said, turning away from the door and making it easier for Olivia to follow suit. “Watching them go out when you don’t know if they’ll ever come back. It’s also something you have to learn to accept, unfortunately.”
Olivia sighed, her gaze focused on the small blue face of Mito, who was sleeping so peacefully despite all the danger his father must currently have been in.
“Is it like this often?” she asked. “I don’t know… raising a family on a planet where this happens often, I don’t know if I’d be able to do it.”
“It isn’t usually this bad, but the attacks have been getting worse lately,” Naia admitted. “Hopefully, we’ll deal a big blow in this fight and the Suhlik will realize that it isn’t worth it to keep throwing resources at us when we always manage to fight back.”
Olivia’s hand rested on her stomach for half a second as they started to make their way back through the corridors and up toward the sixth floor of the rings.
“I was so against it when I first was matched,” she admitted quietly. “And then, the second I teleported here, I was almost killed by a Suhlik. Everything was so wildly different. I’m just here to make babies, and when I’m finally coming around to the possibility, my match is sent off to fight for his life. What’s the point in me being here if I can’t even have children because he’s out fighting?”
“It is the way of the Mahdfel,” Naia said just as quietly. “If Kraev dies and you’re not pregnant, you’ll be sent back to Earth to live the life you had before.”
Surprisingly, panic rose in her chest rather than relief.
Being sent back to Earth.
Kraev being dead.
“What if I was pregnant?” It was a possibility. She couldn’t rule it out.
“Then the Mahdfel clan here would take care of you and the child. You’ll always be a part of our family.”
Olivia shook her head. “No. That’s not right,” she said. “None of that would be right. Kraev can’t die. Kraev could never be dead.” She couldn’t even bear to think about him not returning right now, whether she was pregnant or not. Even the thought of picking up back on Earth where she’d left off wasn’t the balm she’d expected it to be.
Going back to medical school, completing her degree and becoming a doctor. Seeing her family again.
None of it would be the same because she’d known Kraev and then lost him.
She had the urge to sprint back down to the hangar, to see again if he’d departed yet and to beg him desperately to stay. It would have been wholly unfair and she would have forced him to deny her, but if he’d been in front of her right then, she wouldn’t have been able to stop herself.
Naia rested a hand on her arm. “Everything will work out,” she promised. “Fate always knows what it is doing, even if it doesn’t seem like it at the time.”
It definitely didn’t seem like fate had her best interests at heart right now. If it had, she would have been curled up in bed with Kraev, having just woken up and about to have another round of the incredible sex they’d shared the night before.
Instead, she was walking through the empty halls of a place she couldn’t quite call home yet, feeling sick with anxiety.
“I’m going to just keep wandering around the place,” Olivia said, not able to find the strength to be positive for Naia right now. “I think I’d rather be on my own, if you don’t mind. I just want to think things through.”
“Of course.” Naia gave her the location of her quarters so that Olivia would be able to find her again if she needed any help with anything, and then headed off with Mito on her arm.
Olivia took a long breath in and sighed deeply.
Her head was spinning with the implications of everything that was happening right now and she just wanted some peace.
Kraev being home and safe would have given her all the peace she was craving, but clearly, it wasn’t meant to be right now.
CHAPTER 16
KRAEV
It took all the willpower Kraev possessed to not turn around as he walked toward the hangar. Every muscle in his body begged him to look over his shoulder and catch Olivia’s gaze again, to turn around and bundle her back into his arms, wrap his tail tightly around her, and never let go.
But he couldn’t.
He knew that he couldn’t.
With every second that he spent here on the surface, not in his ship, he was letting the Suhlik get closer and closer.
Letting them get closer to harming Olivia.
He couldn’t allow that to happen.
So, he stepped through the doors and continued on to where the ship he’d be piloting was waiting in the hangar for him.
The nagging urge in his mind to turn back didn’t let up, though. Not even when he stepped inside the body of the medium-sized fighter. It was just like the one that Zevyk had arrived on for the mountain rescue. Kraev had piloted this specific ship many times in the past.
He was surprised, as he headed toward the bridge, to see Zevyk in the corridor, doing something with the wiring behind a wall panel.
“You’re on the team, too?” he asked.
“Yes,” Zevyk replied. “I wasn’t at the briefing because the ship still needed work, but it’s nearly finished. Issues with the comms system. It was broken at different parts of the ship. Non-essential, but if I need to fix something else, it would be good if I could speak to you properly.”
When Kraev only grunted his acknowledgment, Zevyk glanced up at him. “What’s wrong?”
“I shouldn’t be here,” he admitted, though it felt wrong to even say the words out loud.
“I know you feel bad about not having been able to fight properly in the initial attack, but this is the time you make up for that. We’ll be up in the skies soon. I’m working as fast as I can.” Zevyk turned back to his wires and did just that, as if to make the point.
Kraev shook his head and almost wanted to laugh. Before he met Olivia, he would have made the same assumptions that Zevyk just had, that his only reason for being upset was that he wasn’t fighting, that he felt like he was letting his clan down by having not been on the front line of the previous fight.
But no, he felt like he was letting them down for an altogether different reason.
“That’s not what I meant,” Kraev said. “I mean here, fighting at all. My mate is here on the base. She’s worried about me, and I’m worried about her. I’ve barely known her for any time at all. What if I never come back to her? Or what if something happens to her and I’m not here to help?”
He rubbed the back of his neck as he spoke, almost ashamed to admit it. He was a warrior. Fighting to protect the clan should always be something that he wanted to do. But he trusted Zevyk more than anyone. He knew that his brother would at least try to understand, even if he couldn’t.
“She’s safe here inside the volcano,” Zevyk said. “And going out there is how you keep her safe. You’re one of the best pilots on the planet. You being out there is the best chance you have of making sure that nothing ever happens to hurt her.”
“I know.” He shook his head. “Rationally, I know, but in here–” He put his hand over his heart. “It’s tearing me apart to be away from her.”
Zevyk turned away from the panel he was working on and rested his hands on Kraev’s arms. “This is new for you and it’s
intense. I know it’s the worst possible timing, but you are doing the best thing for her. You must know that deep down, too.”
Kraev nodded, though his heart felt like it might split. He did know that. And honestly, he didn’t even want to shirk his duty. He was a warrior. Mahdfel. He would always fight the Suhlik, to the death if that was what it came to. But finding his mate had shaken up his priorities in a way he hadn’t been expecting, making him feel things he hadn’t before and ask questions he’d never even considered until this day.
They’d all lost people to the Suhlik. They all knew how dangerous and unpredictable the lizards could be. But keeping Olivia – keeping his family – safe was his first priority as a warrior. He couldn’t shirk his duties.
He thought back to the Suhlik and the atrocities they had committed. His blood immediately started to boil in anger and he let his instincts take control. He had a good sense for battle and he was good at trusting his instincts when it came to deciding whether to attack or retreat, whether he should be in a ship or on the ground.
“You’re right,” he finally said. “Get back to fixing the problem so that we can get flying as soon as possible. I want these scum out of our atmosphere and sent back with a message that they shouldn’t bother trying to attack us again.”
Zevyk smiled. “I have no doubt that the bastards will be too terrified to even think of coming back to the planet after what we’re about to do to them.”
Kraev grinned back at him and tried to let the thrill of the fight fuel him like he always had in the past. It worked, to a certain extent. He wasn’t as fired up as he usually was, but hopefully, the feeling would come when they took off.
He walked up to the bridge where the rest of his crew were already strapped in and running programs on their screens to make sure that everything was ready for lift-off.
He sank into the captain’s chair and started playing around with his own screen, making sure the ship’s diagnostics were all showing green lights. There was a single amber warning on the comms system, but that was what Zevyk was fixing as they spoke. Everything else was good to go.
The earlier shift had not yet ended, but the sooner they could provide assistance to the teleport base, the better. The Suhlik could all go to hell.
“We’re going to be flying fast and low,” Kraev said. “It’s going to be a bumpy ride.”
“We’re all strapped in and ready to go,” the weapons guy, Delyn, replied. “Weapons systems are all up and running and ready to fire at will.”
“Glad to hear it,” Kraev said. Having someone else actually operating the weapons systems rather than trying to do his best with them while also flying was going to make everything a thousand times easier than it had been during his and Olivia’s escape. On this size ship, he needed a full crew to make it run effectively.
And as much as he missed her already, not having Olivia actually on the ship was a massive advantage.
He was sure that he’d zone into the fight eventually, and when that happened, not having his mate anywhere near him would mean he could do whatever needed to be done without risking hurting her. He knew what his crew’s limits were because they were all Mahdfel. Flying with a human on the ship had made him second-guess what he could push for.
The light on his screen changed from amber to green and then Zevyk’s voice echoed through the bridge. “Comms are good to go. Ready for take-off. I’m going to strap in in the engineering bay.”
Kraev started flicking the switches that would bring the ship to life. It was a good warship, ready for a fight in the atmosphere but would have struggled if forced into the vacuum of space for any length of time. It was perfect for the type of fight he was about to dive headfirst into.
Thrusters roared to life and he flexed his fingers on the controls.
He didn’t think about Olivia. He pushed her as far to the back of his mind as was possible for someone he cared so intensely about, and tried to sink into the immediate situation. Suhlik. Flying. Fighting. Winning.
“Strapped in?” he asked Zevyk.
“Strapped in and ready.”
Kraev urged the joystick forward and the ship lifted off.
CHAPTER 17
OLIVIA
Olivia didn’t want to go back to the apartment – not that she was even sure she could. Kraev had said that he would get someone to add her fingerprints to the locking system, but she didn’t know if that meant she had to go and find someone to give her fingerprints or not.
So, she wandered aimlessly around the base for a while, hoping that she would be able to push images of Kraev’s mangled body after a shipwreck out of her mind. They had survived a shipwreck just days ago, right? He could survive another one if it came to that.
Part of her was still so overwhelmed by the engineering feat and the many tunnels that formed the volcano base that she almost did manage to forget about how much danger her mate was in, even if only for a second.
When had she started thinking of him as her mate?
It was a term she hadn’t even really heard before until now, outside of maybe biology class, but she could tell from the way he used it that it was a very serious thing in Mahdfel culture. She would have to ask him about it, but it seemed that he very much meant it in the traditional sense: a mate for life.
That meant more than just telling someone you loved them – which she still hadn’t done either – or even being married to someone. People who were married could always get a divorce if they wanted to. If you were mated that meant more than that. You couldn’t unmate with someone, could you?
She wandered through warmly lit metal corridors and knew that she was getting lost. There was no one around and, after a while, all of the corridors started to look the same. There were no signposts or maps anywhere. She didn’t even have a way to contact anyone. She didn’t have one of the fancy wristbands that all the other occupants of the base seemed to wear.
She had no desire to be found for a little bit longer either, though. She was happy to walk along faceless corridors with nothing but her thoughts.
Wallowing was easy.
After a while, she walked past an open door. It was the first that she’d come to since starting her stroll. It was only when she noticed the open door that she realized the corridors had changed slightly, too. They were wider here, and the doors seemed larger and further apart than when she’d been walking through the residential area.
Not wanting to disturb anyone, she peered through the open doorway from a distance.
Inside were a group of young boys who must not have been older than seven or eight. One of the boys was holding a spear and executing a series of complicated movements with it. Initially, she was impressed. He was graceful and powerful for such a young kid, and seemed like he knew exactly what he was doing with the weapon.
Then, he broke out of the impressive movements and sprinted toward a dummy, impaling it through the chest with his spear.
Olivia’s heart sank.
If she was pregnant, was that her son’s future? Spending time in the gym since he was just a kid, learning how to kill as soon as he was old enough to learn to walk?
Would she end up being left alone at home, worrying about not just Kraev, but her sons, too?
She was sure she remembered Kraev saying that all Mahdfel boys received warrior training from a young age. She knew that it was a part of their culture, that it was important to them, but the thought of her sons living that life didn’t exactly fill her with joy.
The boy inside the training room grabbed his spear and started doing the movements again. The other children took up spears and followed him. It was silly, but it was only now that Olivia realized that they were practicing fighting formations and not just doing some kind of dance or gymnastics routine.
She was too innocent for this planet, even after all the horror she’d seen in her childhood.
She didn’t want to think about any of it.
Turning away from the door without sp
eaking to the children, she caught a flash of blue at the other end of the corridor before it disappeared. Frowning, she walked back and saw Naia. She was leaning against the corridor’s wall, pushing the hair out of Mito’s eyes.
“Hello,” Naia said, an impish smile on her face.
Olivia frowned. “Are you following me?”
The woman gave her an inscrutable look. “Maybe.”
Olivia didn’t know how to react to that. She’d at least expected a denial. “Why?”
“Because you’ve only just arrived on the planet and already your mate has gone off to battle. I know that this must be a difficult time for you. I just wanted to be there to make sure I could step in if it got to be too much for a moment,” she replied, lifting one shoulder in an elegant shrug. “I hope I have not offended you.”
Olivia blinked in surprise. “Not at all,” she said.
If anything, it almost made her tear up. It was so sweet. A slight part of her anxiety was because she didn’t know a single person on the base. She was apparently the only human here and she felt alone. But now, that feeling lessened, even if just a bit.
She smiled at Naia. “Thank you. For caring. That means a lot.”
Talking to Naia might even distract her a little bit. She’d asked to spend time on her own because she was worried about burdening the woman with her thoughts, but Naia didn’t seem burdened at all.
The woman smiled back at her, a part of her own hesitancy seeming to disappear. “Of course. We are part of the same clan now. Of course, I care.”
Her words were more reassuring than Olivia could’ve ever imagined. Tears did spring to her eyes now, but she pushed them back.
Naia gestured for Olivia to follow her and they returned to the door that she’d been peering through. “That’s my son,” she said, gesturing to the same boy Olivia had been watching before. He was still practicing the fighting maneuvers with the other children. “Feishik, though we call him Fei.”