by London Casey
I stopped for a second and looked back at Tate. “You don’t get it, Tate. And that’s okay. But I need to make sure she’s okay.”
“It’s just a broken camera,” Tate said. “I planned on talking to her and figuring something else out.”
I hurried away and started to run through St. Skin.
It wasn’t just a broken fucking camera.
It was Hazel. She was broken too.
And what was more, I wanted to know how the camera got broken…and how she did, too.
I didn’t know what exactly I was walking into, but I was never afraid of fire as a kid, so why would I be afraid now? See, growing up with only yourself to rely on made it so that when I thought there was a monster under the bed, I couldn’t scream for mom or dad. I had to suck it the hell up and get on the floor with a flashlight and check. Now, that’s not a shot at all against my great aunt Ada either. That woman worked herself to the bone during a time when she should have been retired and relaxing. And she did it so I had something that resembled a life. So, while she was battling real life monsters, I was tackling the imaginary ones in my closet, under my bed, and behind curtains.
I knocked on Hazel’s door and didn’t announce who I was.
The door opened a little like it did before.
I saw one of her green eyes and I felt something jolt through my entire body. Like someone had jammed a cattle prod to my chest. It was so profound and hard I felt my left arm twitch.
What the hell is this woman doing to me?
“Maddox?”
“What’s wrong with your camera?” I asked.
“You came here to ask me that?”
“I came here because I’m not sure this has anything to do with a camera,” I said.
Hazel didn’t reply for a few seconds. “I told you not to come back.”
“And at what point in knowing me have I ever given you the impression that I listen to rules?”
“Maddox, please…”
I gently put my hand to the door. I wasn’t going to be forceful, I had an idea why Hazel was so afraid. But I was going to be persistent. She was going to know she wasn’t alone.
“Sugar, I lost her. Okay?”
“Lost…?”
“The girl in the picture,” I said. I felt my stomach and throat tighten at the exact same time. “I lost her.”
“She left you?”
“Yeah,” I said. “She left me. There was a situation…things I didn’t know about her. And by the time I found out, it was too late. She was distant, and I didn’t do anything about it. I didn’t know what to do or how to do it. Okay? When I look at you and I feel that same thing, I can’t just walk away. Not a chance, Hazel. Not when there was some guy here threatening you. And now suddenly your camera is broken? You quit St. Skin? Everyone at the shop loves you.”
“And you?” she asked.
“You’re a pain in the ass, sugar, but I don’t want to show up to St. Skin and not see you. It makes me feel a little lost. And I need to know you’re okay. I need to know someone isn’t in that apartment with you.”
“Maddox…”
I swallowed hard. “If you’re with someone because you love them, I can walk away. But if someone is forcing themselves-”
“I’m alone,” she said. She shut the door and opened the chain. The door opened all the way.
There she was.
Hazel with the green eyes.
My heart jolted again.
I stepped forward and grabbed her. My hands slid against her hips with ease, like they were meant to be there. Like we were two puzzle pieces starting to realize all the jagged edges, curves, flaws, they were all meant to connect for a greater picture.
My mind never had those thoughts. Ever.
Whiskey made me fall in love, but that was temporary.
Hazel’s eyes were making me…
“What happened to your camera?” I asked.
“It’s broken. I swear.”
I glanced around the apartment. I noticed something on the wall next to her computer. It was a round spot on the wall. Like a dried water spot. With a few faint colors.
“What happened there?” I asked.
“Jesus, Maddox,” Hazel said. “Are you going to point out everything wrong with my apartment? It’s a water spot. It was here when I moved in. There’s a few cracks in the ceiling. The bathroom sink sometimes leaks, but I know how to fix it. When you flush the toilet you have to hold it for a few seconds. Oh, and the dishwasher sometimes makes this growling sound that I’m told is normal.”
She wiggled out of my grip and backed up.
She was on the defensive.
I nodded. “Right.”
“Look, I said not to come here. So, you tell me something about that picture to get inside my apartment. Because you don’t know what that means to me.”
“What does? A picture of a girl that is part of my past? Why are you so nosy?”
“I’m curious,” she said.
“Why?”
“I just am.”
“That’s not an answer. That’s an excuse.”
“You know what? Get out. It’s my place. Get out.”
“Is that what you said to him?” I threw out, regretting it.
Her eyes went wide.
“Fuck you.”
“Exactly. Maybe I’ll just stand here and wait you out. How’s that, sugar? Break you down. Make it really fucking beautiful.”
“Get the fuck out of here,” she growled.
“Make me. Where’s the defiant side? The woman that just takes my picture without care? Huh? Where’s that side of Hazel? Show me.”
Hazel charged at me. Her hands slammed against my chest as she tried to shove me back. Then her right hand flew across my face, hitting my cheek. Then I saw the tears in her eyes. The fear and rage, all of it building up and starting to boil over. Except she didn’t know how to let it boil over the right way.
I touched my cheek.
“Maddox, I’m so sorry,” she said. “Oh my god, what did I do…”
Now she was scared. Scared of me. Scared of my reaction.
I lifted my right hand, but never to hurt her. My right hand wanted to gently touch the back of her neck, pull her close, and kiss her. Show her that I was there for good reason.
Instead, I slapped myself.
Right across the face.
Hazel gasped. “What are you doing?”
I slapped myself a second time.
She just stared at me.
Honestly, I had no idea why I slapped myself. Maybe to show her that I could take it. Maybe to show her that I wasn’t there to hurt her, no matter what. Maybe I was slapping myself because of what I said to her earlier. Saying that what I did wasn’t fair to her.
“I’ll leave,” I said, “but I won’t be gone. And it’s not right that you won’t be at St. Skin.”
I turned and walked to the door.
Hazel called my name. It was like an arrow to the chest, the way her voice crackled.
“Hazel…”
“Who was she to you?” she asked. “You said you lost her. But who was she?”
I looked back. “Someone I couldn’t save. And I’ve never forgiven myself for that. I don’t want that same feeling with you. And by the way, there’s a piece of glass on the floor. Probably from that water spot that you claim has been there since you moved in. I’d hate for you to step on it and cut yourself.”
I knew she was lying. That water spot was fresh. Someone was in the apartment and someone threw something at the wall. And chances were that someone and something led to Hazel quitting St. Skin.
I opened the door and paused again.
It dawned on me then that we were on the second floor of the apartment building.
That made me angry.
I didn’t want Hazel to jump…just like someone else had years ago.
22
HAZEL
PRESENT DAY
He was getting away. And if he got a
way, he would eventually stay away for good. The only honest, real man who had ever walked into my life. Well, I’d walked into his life, but whatever. A man that just wanted me to be happy and let me let him take care of me. In whatever way that meant. A man who had his own secrets that I wanted to know.
Like we were meant to intertwine and collide.
I looked to my left.
The spot on the wall.
The excuse that I made for it.
The way the excuse came to me so easy. That came from years of practice.
And yes, right there on the floor was a piece of purple glass. I thought I had cleaned it all up, but one piece remained. And Maddox had spotted it.
I’d hate for you to step on it and cut yourself.
I ran.
Not toward the bedroom to hide. Not to do what I had always done.
I ran toward the door. Toward Maddox.
I couldn’t believe that I hit him in the chest. And that I slapped him. That he could bring out that raw emotion in me. I trusted him. That’s all it was. Trust. Real trust.
My hands grabbed at his shirt. “Please…you can’t go.”
Maddox stopped in the hallway. “Sugar…”
“You were right. About everything. And I wasn’t lying when I said my camera’s broken. Wait here, please.”
I let him go and hurried into the apartment. I opened the kitchen trash and right on top was a shopping bag full of what used to be a very expensive camera.
I carried the bag over as embarrassment flooded my body.
Maddox stood in the doorway to my apartment. “What’s that?”
“The camera,” I said.
I tossed the bag and he caught it. He looked inside and shook his head.
“And the wall?”
I swallowed hard. “He convinced the front office to let him in. That he was here to surprise me. He brought flowers. That’s how it always happens. He got angry. Threw the flowers against the wall. Then he took out a hammer and took care of my camera. All because I told him when I left the night he was here I went to work.”
“Where did you really go?”
“A hotel.”
“A hotel?”
I nodded. I felt pathetic. “That’s where I hide, Maddox.”
“So this happened before?”
“Yes. Many times.”
“Many times,” Maddox whispered.
He gently put the bag down.
“I don’t know what to say for myself, Maddox. Okay? You don’t belong in this world with me. This is not your-”
Maddox stepped toward me and put both hands to my face. He pulled me in and brought his mouth down to mine. The kiss was a shock of electricity head to toe. My knees became liquid, and I started to fall. Maddox quickly moved his left hand, catching me at my back, holding me steady. He kissed me again, deeper, passion flooding from his mouth into mine.
My hands grabbed for his shirt, clutching tight, wanting him tighter to my body.
He broke the kiss and put his forehead against mine. I watched the way his lips moved, trying to collect the right set of words to either ease me or fix me. But there was nothing to say to take care of that.
I just needed him.
I forced myself to my toes, and I kissed him. A surge went through me as I kissed him again. I groaned, pulling away gently, biting at his bottom lip. A hidden fire had now been sparked everywhere inside me. My hands slid down and went under his shirt. For so long, I had been wondering what was under his shirt, dreaming it was muscle upon muscle. But now my hands had physical proof. My nails and fingertips ran over the ripples of stomach muscle all the way up to his beautifully defined chest.
Maddox moved his hands from my body, giving me the chance to take his shirt off.
My head raced in wild circles, my heart already ten steps ahead, my eyes catching up, knowing exactly where this was going to go. And I fucking craved it. I was desperate for it. For so many fucking reasons, they felt like a two-ton weight on my neck.
I watched the shirt go up and over his head. I watched the shirt fall to the floor. Right there in my apartment. I took a shuddering breath, then looked up at Maddox again. My hands trembled in a slight rage that melted with an erotic need I wasn’t sure I’d ever felt before. I started at his shoulders, feeling hard, round muscle. Then I slid down. Inch by inch, touching him from his chest all the way down to the V of his stomach that eventually came to a point right where I wanted my hands to be next.
He had beautifully colored ink on the left side of his chest. His arms were tattooed from shoulder to elbow on each side. He was a walking masterpiece of art on skin with a chiseled body and a face that would forever be locked into my memory.
“Holy shit,” I managed to whisper.
Those were my last words…
… Maddox scooped me up into his strong, tattooed arms, and he walked me through my own apartment.
My body pressed tight against his. My arms around his back, his arms around me, holding me. I sat on my nightstand next to the bed, the lamp knocked to the side, leaning against the bedpost. It cast strange-looking shadows, but they only added to how crazy things were getting. A trail of clothes littered the floor of the apartment from the hallway just outside the bathroom all the way to the bed.
I wrapped my legs around Maddox and dug my nails into him.
He kissed me and then turned, swinging me to the bed.
He put me down, put a little space between our bodies, and quickly set his mouth to work. I let out an anticipatory groan and grabbed for the sheets. Then I felt the first flicker of his tongue on my neck, and I arched my back. My body was taking control, and I was fine with that.
His right hand touched my waist, holding me. His left hand slithered up my body almost painfully slowly, teasing me whether he knew it or not. It made me shiver to the point where my nipples became so hard, I sucked in a breath, craving some kind of relief.
Maddox kissed down to my left breast, his tongue sliding over my skin and only stopping when he got to my nipple. His lips came together with a gentle tug, more playful than commanding, but enough to make me jump and groan.
His hand moved away from my hip and eased between my legs. Sliding against my inner thigh, temptation so close to becoming reality, I opened my legs and pressed my heels against the side of the bed, ready for his touch. The moment he touched me, I bit my lip to keep from screaming. My hips bucked, demanding more of him.
Maddox moved two fingers up and turned, pressing gently against my sensitive clit. Then he came down and thrust forward, entering me with his touch.
His mouth opened, and he kissed my breast again, his tongue flickering left to right, gaining speed. Soon his tongue and fingers were matching. My hands gripped the sheets on the bed tighter.
When I found air to breathe and a word to speak, it was simple.
“Yes…”
It was everything I wanted and needed mixed together in one.
After just a minute or so, Maddox slid those two fingers out and up, against my clit and beyond. He left the evidence of what he had done on my lower belly and began to kiss up my chest again, not stopping until our mouths touched again.
We kissed.
Hard. Fast.
His hand eased to my hips as his lower half touched mine.
I felt the swell of his body, his thickness and hardness swelling up, ready for me just as much as I was ready for him.
He touched me, and I groaned into his mouth.
The kiss grew hotter and wilder.
Maddox eased down some more, opening me, welcoming himself to my body.
I forced my hands from the sheets to his body. My right hand grabbing at his firm ass, the cheek where he had the lips tattooed. My other hand touched his stomach, feeling his muscles flexing as he sank into me. Finally, my hand was pinned between our bodies. He sank himself in to the hilt.
My mouth fell open as I could breathe the pressure that slowly gave way to a world of pleasure that was like a
drug.
Maddox put the tip of his nose directly against mine.
I looked into his eyes.
He pulled back with slow precision, then sank forward again.
He repeated the same move a handful of times and then began to speed up. His hands slid to my ass, holding me, squeezing me, pulling at me as his thrusts grew harder and fuller. Each time he came forward, I let out a gasp. Most of them were breathless as I had a feeling in my core that was building toward a climax I didn’t think could come so quickly.
My nails scratched from his perfect ass all the way up his back to his head. Between my legs, the pleasure and tension mounted to its breaking point. I brought my feet to the bed and bucked forward at him, groaning, finally pulling his neck.
I needed to taste him as I climaxed.
And I did.
He kissed me with the same force that he treated the rest of my body with.
The kiss was hot and sloppy, my voice groaning in between breaths and kisses. My insides throbbed against his cock as he fucked me through my first of many orgasms. They were suddenly lined up, one after another. A secret spot inside me had been found and opened, and I was unable to control myself.
I put my ankles around his body and held them there, pumping my legs as his pumped himself in and out of me.
It was beautiful. It was perfect. It was fucking hot.
His hands moved from my ass up my body. Of all the places to touch, tease, flirt, and fuck, Maddox’s hands touched my face. His thumbs stroking my cheeks with a loving care as the lower half of his body was anything but loving. Rough. Hard. Fast. Wild. Leaving me aching and wanting more, getting more, climaxing, aching again…
My lips quivered as I tried to keep my breath.
Maddox stole it a moment later with a kiss.
A wild kiss that was followed by his body reaching its own climax.
“Fuck,” I groaned into his mouth as he throbbed, leaving me with a warmth and pressure feeling that made my toes curl to the point that they hurt.
“Fuck,” Maddox groaned back.
He thrust one last time and held there.
Our bodies connected, our hearts collided, our eyes flirting with secrets of the past and maybe something that looked like a future.