The Lost Luggage Porter

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The Lost Luggage Porter Page 12

by Andrew Martin


  He was wrong over that, but I was glad he'd spoken up. The only reason I'd not mentioned the matter of payment was that I was a policeman playing a double game - simple as that.

  Sampson put his hand in his pocket book, and after some

  thought gave me a pound, saying: 'You kept the line beautifully today, kidder.'

  My first thought was: that's the wife's new fur-lined gloves paid for. A lot of other thoughts came as I pocketed the note - of some vicars I'd known, of Dad and the family name, written above the butcher's shop in Bay town . . . But in the working world of York, extra money was something miraculous.

  There was silence as the pony plodded on, and it seemed to mark the end of the night's business, or my part in it. 'I'll get down here,' I said. 'My lodge is t'other way.'

  Sampson stood up in the cart to see me off - very courtly, he was.

  'Keep it dark about tonight's work, won't you, little Allan?' he said, as I climbed down.

  'You bet,' I said.

  'And you're all set for Sunday week?'

  I nodded again, watching the cart roll on. As Mike steered into Lendal, Miles Hopkins turned his head, and looked back at me, not breaking off his stare until buildings came between us.

  As I biked back home past the dark villas of Thorpe-on-Ouse Road, I kept trying to think when I might've shown my hand. Favourite was the moment when the cylinder was being extracted from the van. That's when I could've raised my arm to declare: 'It's all up for you lot. I am a detective with the railway force, and I am arresting you on a charge of theft.' I might also have mentioned trespass, assault, a spot of blackmail (in the case of the clerk, no doubt), and then the bill topper: the Cameron brothers, side by side in the York mortuary.

  Valentine Sampson was nuts and the other, Miles, was clever.

  Which was worse?

  And where was Edwin Lund in all this? He was clever and nuts.

  I stowed the Humber by the cottage wall and, removing the fake glasses, opened the door to see the wife, who was at her typewriting of course, by a dead fire.

  'Well then?' she said, not stopping typewriting.

  She had seen me in Fossgate. It was ten-thirty by the mantel clock . . . And there was a bottle of beer waiting by it, which was a good sign - a sign that I might kiss her, which I did. I had half expected to find the wife in tears. As it was, she just looked tired.

  'Just at present,' I said, standing by the rocking chair, 'I'm put to spying for the police.'

  It sounded like a confession.

  'Does that require you to wear funny glasses?' she said.

  'What's funny about them?' I said, removing them from the pocket in which I'd just stowed them. 'They're a pair of perfectly ordinary glasses, except that they don't have any glasses in them.'

  'And a terrible suit,' she said, standing up from the typewriting table and walking over to the sofa. She sat down here, sprawling rather, with legs wide underneath her skirts. Her condition probably made this a necessity, but it was all for it in any case. She was brownish, skinny but for the football under her dress, and altogether indestructible-looking, somehow.

  'That can't be helped’ I said, taking a pull on the bottle of Smith's. 'You have a husband who's pretending to be a vagabond.'

  I sat down next to her. 'I suppose I must admit’ she said, 'that with many women it's the other way about.'

  She fiddled with the locket at her chest, then looked up at me, and said: 'Let's have it, Jim.'

  I gave her the tale, the whole of my double game, leaving out only my suspicion that Sampson had done for the Camerons, and concluding:

  'By rights I'm not supposed to have told you any of this.'

  The wife was looking at me in a mysterious sort of way - half amused, I thought.

  'You are to keep it dark,' I said, thinking of Sampson standing in the cart.

  Still no reply - just the dark eyes looking at me in the dark room.

  'You wanted me in the police,' I said, 'and this is what police work comes down to.'

  'I wanted you out of an occupation that was not suited to your intellect,' said the wife, after a space.

  It was the first time she'd come out with anything of that sort. I'd thought all along she'd set her face against railway work because it was mucky.

  I said: 'Firing's no picnic, you know: one shovelful of coal in the wrong spot, down goes the pressure and you're knackered; and driving's just as tricky.'

  I finished off the bottle of Smith's, and turned towards the wife.

  'What is the effect of notching up the gear upon the steam cycle within the cylinder?' I asked her. 'Any notions on that point? No? Try this then: what are the eight name positions of the crank?'

  'You're the crank, Jim Stringer,' she said.

  'Tell you what,' I said. 'You're off the hook if you can name me one.'

  'You're not happy in the police, then?'

  'You know very well I'm not.'

  I walked through to the kitchen to collect another bottle of Smith's from the pantry.

  'Off the footplate,' I said, returning to the parlour, 'you see the world as it really is ...'

  'And how is it?'

  'Everybody spends too long in one place. I have a need for speed.'

  I sat down on the rocking chair, and the wife came over and sat on my knee, saying, 'Well, you have the Humber.'

  We sat there in silence for a while.

  Some voices came from the direction of the Fortune, but just when I thought they were about to grow loud, they faded away.

  "There are three people in one rocking chair,' said the wife, after a while.

  'I wouldn't half mind putting the fixments on that lot,' I said, thinking of the cart rolling away down Lendal, the cutting cylinder rolling back and forth inside it, like a clock ticking.

  'I'm doing some letters for Hunter and Smallpage just at the moment,' said the wife (who was evidently still thinking of the rocking chair, for she was speaking of the shop where we'd bought it) '. . . they call themselves "a firm of forty years' standing",' she continued,'. . . and yet almost all their business is selling chairs ...'

  I looked at the wife; she could be a queer sort, at times.

  'You've your report to write tomorrow, I suppose’ she said, standing up, for I'd mentioned that part of the job, too.

  'Aye’ I said, 'in fact I think I'll make a start now, while it's all fresh in my mind.'I moved the typewriter and the sweet jars across to one side of the strong table, laid out on it the papers given me by Weatherill and, having placed carbons beneath, began to write. With the wife looking on, I set out at the top of the first page the headings insisted on by Weatherill, thinking, now ought I to begin with meeting Lund at the War Memorial? I decided to leave him out of it, as before, and so started with the moment I walked into the Big Coach.

  After five minutes of watching me write, the wife said: 'You're not to eat the Opopanax, but you can have one of the Parma Violets.'

  I took one of the sweets, looking at her, thinking hard. I was now up to the point at which Sampson went off to meet his layer, and Hopkins was preparing to leave for the railway station.

  After another five minutes or so, the wife rose swiftly to her feet, went into the kitchen, and came back with some bread, soup and hotcake, which I ate as I continued to write, and the wife continued to watch.

  Suddenly, she stood up, declaring: 'I cannot stand the slow travel of your pen!'

  'You said I was an intellect!' I shot back.

  'I'll type your reports,' said the wife, and she was already at it: chivvying me out of the chair, and winding a new one of the report sheets into her machine.

  'It's late,' I said.

  'What do you put at the top?' she asked.

  '"Special Report",' I said, 'then "Subject: Persons Wanted".'

  'That's a waste of words,' said the wife, but she was typewriting all the same, asking, 'And how do you begin the actual reports?'

  'How do you mean?'

  'What for
m of words do you start with?'

  'You've to start: "I beg to report".'

  'That's ridiculous,' said the wife. 'We'll start with "I respectfully submit..." Now, you speak it out, I'll take it down.'And so the wife learnt in more detail about Hopkins and Sampson, and all that had happened in the goods yard. And it was much quicker this way, for she typed fourteen to the dozen - at least as fast as I could speak. Occasionally she would eat an Opopanax, occasionally she would ask a question. She wanted to know what was in the cylinder, and I explained as best I could.

  'They're safe-breakers,' she said, quite delighted. 'It's like a penny shocker.'

  When we reached the point at which we'd all spilled out of the goods yard, I thought I'd better let Weatherill know that this occurred at the very spot where the Camerons had been shot, and so the wife learnt all about this matter too, at which she stopped typewriting, saying: 'You're in danger here, you know.'

  'Once things get too hot, I'll just do a push,' I replied. 'Besides, I don't think they'd run to shooting a policeman.'

  'But they don't know you're a policeman.'

  'That's true,' I said. 'I was forgetting.'

  'You're quite certain of that, aren't you?'

  'Of what?'

  'That they don't know.'

  'Do leave off,' I said, 'of course I am.'

  She carried on taking my dictation until I came to the moment when Mike, the Blocker, had apologised for lamming me, and I'd apologised for calling him a 'fucking rotter'. The wife was shaking her head, as I came out with this, saying, 'That goes down as "He uttered foul language".'

  'You must write it out,' I said. 'Just put "f" and a line.'

  'Why were you given this work to do?' said the wife. 'You're brand-new on the job. You've no experience.'

  'That's exactly why,' I said. 'The Chief was taking advantage of the fact that I'm not known.'

  'Taking advantage full stop, if you ask me,' said the wife.

  PART FOUR

  The Great Doing

  Chapter Sixteen

  'What are you reading?' asked the wife.

  'Police Gazette,' I said. 'Deserters and Absentees from His Majesty's Service.'

  We were in the living room, waiting for the knock that would signify the arrival of my father for his Sunday visit. I turned the page and it came.

  Just as I stood up to open the door, I noticed, on the very top of the scrap papers in the fire basket, the words 'LADIES' COLUMN by "Lucy"'. It was one of the ones sent by dad to the wife in the hopes of turning her into the more common run of housewife, but it was too late to do anything about it now. I had the door open and Dad was stepping in, removing his brown bowler.

  'Harry,' said the wife, and she rose from the sofa and they kissed.

  'Now you mustn't stand up, dear,' said Dad.

  Leaving aside his being forty years older, he looked like an indoor version of me: pinker and more rounded, better maintained.

  'Well, you know, I like standing up, Harry,' said the wife. 'It is one of my favourite activities.'

  'But in your condition, Lydia’ said Dad.

  He was standing at the fireplace now, in his Sunday-best suit, boots gleaming. 'You do look well on it, though, I must say. Absolutely blooming, isn't she, James?'

  He was looking about the room - searching for the sewing machine. I'd forgotten to put it out.

  'Journey all right, Dad?' I said.

  'Yes, all right, lad,' he said. 'A bit blowy coming along the cliffs.'

  The wife was watching him very carefully as he folded his gloves and placed them inside his bowler hat. He knew she was doing this, and he coloured up a little. A good deal of his gentlemanliness was new, a luxury afforded by a comfortable retirement, and he was liable to be embarrassed over it. He said:

  'The waiting room at Ravenscar blew clean away, last month, you know.'

  'But how could it?' said the wife, evidently fascinated.

  'Well, it was made of wood, for one thing,' said Dad.

  'They built it out of wood with the gales they get up there?' said the wife. 'Has nobody in that company read The Three Little Pigs?'

  Dad didn't know what to make of this, and went a little redder.

  'I don't know I'm sure, dear. You must take it up with your husband . . . Oh, before I forget,' he said, and he took out from his inside pocket a pen which he handed over to me.

  'Now you're working at a desk,' he said, and he handed me a pen.

  I recognised it. This was Dad's Swan fountain pen, his best one. Receipts to the gentry were always written with it - and I'd often tried to puzzle out the secret of its smoky green and black decoration.

  'I can't take this, Dad.'

  'Look after it,' he said, 'and it'll be a lifelong friend. I always meant to give you it when you started work, but first you were portering, then on the engines. There was no call for a pen.'

  'I'm not always at a desk’ I said, looking at the wife. 'A fair amount of the work is outdoors.'

  'But it's not as if you're patrolling a beat ... Is it?' he added, rather anxiously.

  'I'm a detective, Dad, in the plainclothes section. I've told you this before.'

  'Detective?' he said. 'That sounds a rather superior grade.'

  'It is the very lowest grade on the plainclothes side’1 said.

  'The lowest grade in a superior division’ said Dad, who was now removing another article from his pockets. It was small and squarish, and wrapped in brown paper. He handed it to the wife, saying: 'This is for you, Lydia, love.'

  'Thank you, Harry,' she said. 'Whatever is it?'

  'Cheese’ he said, 'best cheddar.'

  'I'll go and put it in the pantry straight away’ said the wife.

  'No, no, let me, dear. I need to go to the little room as well. That's ...'

  'Out in the garden’ I said.

  Dad took the cheese back from the wife, and handed over a slip of paper to her as he did so.

  'Brought you another of these, love’ he said.

  He turned and walked through to the kitchen, and I looked at the wife. It was another 'LADIES' COLUMN by "Lucy"' snipped from the Whitby Gazette. She read out loud: 'There are many dishes which are much improved in richness and flavour by the addition of a sprinkling of grated cheese.'

  'Well that's the mystery of the present solved’ she said, putting the cutting into the fire basket, from where I retrieved it and placed it on the table next to the typewriter.

  The wife was now putting on her cape and gloves, while I took my cap off the hook on the front door. We had a plan for the day, and it was now being put into effect.

  'We thought we'd go off to church,' said the wife, when Dad came back from the privy. 'Oh good,' said Dad.

  And we all stood there looking at each other.

  The day was darkish, drizzly. A grey cloud sat squarely over Thorpe-on-Ouse like an island in the sky. On the long path cut diagonally through the churchyard, we fell in with a thin stream of churchgoers, as the sound of a distant train filled the sky: a Leeds train or London train. It rattled away, leaving the cold, old sound of church bells. The wife had spied Lillian Backhouse, and, having made her excuses to Dad, had dashed on ahead. Lillian Backhouse, I knew, did not believe in God but went to church only because her husband was the verger. As far as I knew, most of the suffragists were like Lillian: non-believers. But Lydia did believe, and I went to church - sometimes - because she went, whereas Dad went to church because he thought it was the gentlemanly thing to do.

  St Andrew's Church smelt of damp kneelers and old flags and banners. These hung down dead from the roof. They were set in rows above the pews, and reminded me somehow of the moving cranes in a locomotive erecting shop. The wife had re-joined us at our regular pew, which was at the back. Major Turnbull's pew, of course, was at the front, and when he walked in, making along the aisle towards it, I pointed him out to Dad, who was not in the least interested, which knocked me rather.

  'No fresh meat to be seen in your kit
chen, James,' he whispered, so that the wife would not hear. 'Do you not have a joint on Sundays?'

  'Not every Sunday’ I said.

  'In your larder’ he said, 'the emphasis is rather on the can. A young lady in Lydia's condition,' he continued, lowering his voice yet further, 'needs a regular supply of good, fresh meat.'

  'Well’ I said, 'she's living on raspberry-leaf tea and humbugs just now.'

  'The baby will be small’ he said.

  'They generally are, aren't they?'

  He ignored that, but turned into a different channel:

  'Where does Lydia wash the clothes, James?' he asked.

  'In the bathtub,' I said.

  It was the wrong answer.

  After the service, I reflected that Dad was bringing out the suffragist even in me. He'd never done a hand's turn about the house. As a widower he'd always had help: a half-time maid when I was a boy, and now Mrs Barrett, his housekeeper.

  Afterwards, the three of us stood in the churchyard, and the wife said: 'Lillian's going to look in later.'

  Then the wife said, 'The river's just nearby, you know, Harry.'

  'We thought we might have a swing out there,' I said, for this was the second part of the plan.

  Dad said: 'Are you sure you're able, my love?'

  'Quite sure’ said the wife, shortly.

  'How are things in Baytown, Dad?' I asked as we set off past the front of the Archbishop's Palace.

  'I'm kept pretty busy with the meetings of the Conservative Club. It was our annual meeting on Monday. Very good attendance, considering .. .'

  'Considering that you lost,' I put in, which I'd done because I'd feared the wife might, and it would come much worse from her. Dad already knew me for a Labour man, his own son a lost cause.

 

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