“But”—they were supposed to be saying good-bye—“you shouldn’t be here like this, talking like…Wait a minute. How did you and the tree get in here? I’ve kept the doors locked since—”
“Charlie Brown,” Polly answered.
Mallory blinked, checking the child’s winter coat for pictures of the cartoon character she’d named. She found nothing but sturdy down-filled pink nylon. “Who?”
“Mommy used to come over and feed the Lancers’ puppy, Charlie Brown, when they were out of town.”
“Oh.” Not really following, Mallory drank in the sweet reality of Polly remembering her mother and sounding happy about it.
She had done a lot of good here.
Pete dug beneath the hem of his faded UGA sweatshirt and pulled from his jeans pocket a keychain with a single key on one end, a brass basset hound on the other.
“I remembered Emma kept a spare key in her desk,” he said. “It was sitting right there, where it’s been since the Lancers moved out.” He gave a short laugh, then another smile, this one making him look ten years younger as he, too, talked freely about his beloved wife. “I figured someone who usually never bothers to close her curtains or lock her doors wouldn’t have gone to the trouble of having new keys made.”
Mallory shook her head. “But…why? The tree, the ornaments…They’re beautiful. But it—”
“You should have your real Christmas,” Polly said, “before you sell your house. So we came over to help.”
All any of us want to do is help you…
By giving her the Christmas she’d told Polly she’d never had.
Mallory stepped closer despite her determination to keep her distance. After every unkind thing she’d said, after she’d moved heaven and earth to get away from them as quickly as humanly possible, they’d done this for her.
It was Christmas morning, their family’s first Christmas after losing Emma. And these two had traipsed across a dark, snowy morning to Mallory’s packed-up, empty house, determined to make her holiday beautiful. She inhaled the scent of the most gorgeous tree in the world. It was as if a fairy tale of her very own had sprung to life in her living room.
“We didn’t know how to re-create what you threw out,” Pete explained. “Polly thought up this on her own. She wanted what we made for you to be special.”
Special?
Mallory squinted, refocusing on the ornaments scattered about the tree limbs. “What…What did you do?”
Her gaze fell to the bottom of the tree, and there on the carpet sat Mickey Mouse, his head resting on the floor, his tubby belly open and empty. Beside him was the doll she’d left lying there when she’d thrown out her own tree. And there were the neighborhood Christmas cards she’d placed around the bare tree skirt, thinking they looked a little bit like presents.
“You used Emma’s pins…” She stepped closer in wonder. “I was trying to find a way to get them back to you without…I was going to leave them with the Perrys tomorrow when I left. What…Why would you do this?”
“You need them more than I do now,” Polly said. “’Cause your mommy left you, too. And you needed a tree for this morning, like the real ones at the Perrys’ house. And you needed stories of your own that you can remember, like the ones my mommy gave me. So now they’re yours, too, so you can always remember us the way we’ll always remember you.”
Emma’s stories. Her treasures. Her glittering, vintage animals and flowers and bees and butterflies that she’d left her daughter to remember her by. Polly wanted Mallory to have them. The child was not only giving her the Christmas morning of Mallory’s dreams, but also the family mementos Mallory hadn’t kept when she sold her grams’s house.
Because Mallory needed them now more than Polly did.
It was as if the tree had come to life with whimsy. Across its soft limbs was every special memory Polly had at first wanted to hide, then had shared with Mallory. Now they were glittering with the exuberant holiday joy Mallory had longed for her whole life.
“I…” She didn’t know what to do, what to say. “I can’t…This is too much.”
“It’ll never be enough.” Pete stepped closer, bringing Polly with him. “Even if we have to hunt you down every Christmas and fill your tree with even more special ornaments, it will never be enough. And we will, if you’ll let us. We’ll come for you wherever you are, Mallory. We’ll make at least this one day of the year perfect for you. Let us love you on Christmas. Let us show you how special you are. That’s what we came to tell you. Let us fight for you however you need us to. Just tell us what you need, and we’ll be here whenever you’ll let us.”
She shook her head. “You can’t…You can’t keep doing this. You can’t—”
“Love you?”
“Don’t say that. You know—”
“That you’re not ready to hear it?” His smile was still there, even as she was once more pushing him away. “I know. But I’m ready to say it. I should have said it last week, but it was too sudden, and I wasn’t sure how you’d respond when you were so upset. But then I realized, after you’d closed yourself in here and away from everyone you thought you could walk away from so easily, that I can handle you being upset. Polly can handle it. All of us can. What we won’t get through is you thinking the easiest solution to our situation is to walk away and—”
“Easy?”
He had to let her go. If he kept showing up doing crazy, amazing things like this for her—dear God, every Christmas?—she’d never be able to stay away from the love shining in his eyes.
“You think this is easy for me?” She stepped past them to the patio doors. “I don’t want to hurt you two. I don’t want to hurt anyone here. You have to stop thinking that I won’t.”
They’d tied the curtains back again. Beyond the wall of translucent glass was a snow globe world, Christmas showing off all its finery, turning Mimosa Lane into a winter wonderland.
“I’m thinking you’re as terrified as we are of being hurt,” he said. “Polly and I are dealing with that—how protecting ourselves ends up taking us away from the people we love. You showed us that. I can’t imagine what you must be feeling after what happened with your mother, and no one blames you for being angry or upset or even acting out because of it, just like Polly and I went off the rails after Emma died. But don’t go away completely, Mallory. We won’t let you forget what happened here like we never existed. You’re already in love with us and this house and”—he nodded behind him—“even this tree, or you wouldn’t have opened your home and your world and your heart up to us the way you did, and you wouldn’t still be standing here talking to us. Polly and I are going to find you wherever you go. We’re going to keep fighting for you until you can believe in all of this and fight to keep it yourself.”
We’re going to keep fighting for you…
Mallory turned back to them, shivering. Every lost Christmas from her childhood was right there, waiting at the back of her mind, pushing forward, threatening to rip her away from the magic of this moment. The past would always be there, if she let it, covering everything with its shadows. No matter where she went, no matter that her mother was gone from her life for good, she’d never be rid of what had happened.
Give us a chance…You don’t have to be alone anymore, to be safe…
Us.
Us was the present they wanted to give her for Christmas, as Emma Lombard’s beautiful memories shined and sparkled and winked behind them from the Christmas tree. Pete and Polly Lombard wanted Mallory Jane Phillips with them. Even knowing the unbelievable mess going on inside of her, these two were brave enough to keep fighting for the beginning she’d dreamed of building with them, only she hadn’t been strong enough to make what they should have had work.
Sometimes, Sam had said, when there’s nothing anyone else can do, you have to be your own hero…
Polly pushed against her father’s chest. Pete put her down. She walked over to Mallory, her hand digging into the pocket of her
pink corduroy pants. She held something up in her palm—it was Emma’s favorite pin.
“Whiskers?” Mallory whispered. She took the smiling little cat and remembered the very first story about Emma that Polly and Pete had shared. “Your mother always wore him so she’d remember how much her grandmother loved her.”
“I saved him for you to put up yourself,” Polly said. “So you wouldn’t forget, the way you wouldn’t let me forget.”
Mallory picked the child up and gazed at Pete, her tears falling in earnest.
“Don’t ever forget how much you’re loved here,” Pete said. “No matter where you go, just tell us what you want, and we’ll move heaven and earth to make it happen.”
“Don’t forget us, Mallory.” Polly wrapped her in the sweetest, fiercest hug of her life. “We don’t care if you get angry or sad or need to cry. Just don’t leave us. Please don’t go away forever…”
What do you want? It was what Mallory had asked the first night Polly had visited, searching for her own Christmas miracle.
Please don’t go away forever…she’d begged her mama as a little girl.
Mallory hugged Polly back and thought of us and felt herself stumbling into Pete’s open arms. She lost herself once more in the dream of trusting a family to support her, even when she kept failing at making it happen for herself.
Love…
Pete and Polly were offering her everything. Community and friends that she didn’t have to run from. Belonging that didn’t mean she had to fit in any more than she could. Love that accepted all of her, even the messed-up and wandering parts. She didn’t even have to stay. They’d come find her wherever she went. They’d never leave her to try to make her safe place happen alone.
They were even giving Mallory the Christmas of her dreams. A beginning. A promise of a life full of memories to come, picnics and barbecues and the sound of kids playing and adults laughing and people living and sharing. And she would have a real place in that world. No more wandering. No more watching from a distance.
The fantasy of it felt so close, as close as Pete’s strong arms holding Mallory and his kiss brushing at her temple and the sound of Polly giggling because she’d been trapped between them and thought it was a silly game.
You’re strong enough to make anything happen, her grams had said. You just keep on bein’ strong…
Clasping the pin in her hand, Mallory allowed herself to say the words she hadn’t said to anyone since she was twelve.
“I love you so much,” she said, surrendering to her dream, trusting them with it. “I don’t ever want to be anywhere else but right here with the two of you for the rest of my life. But I…I’m so scared. What if I can’t? What if I do to you what I did to my grams, and all it does is hurt you even more and—”
“The only way you can hurt us is by quitting,” Pete said. “And you never quit. You’re a fighter, just like Sam. My fighter. All you have to do now is keep fighting for us, and we’ll make it. I promise.”
They were her words, her advice for how he could reach Polly, finding its way back to Mallory and begging her to never let them go.
“Merry Christmas!” Polly wrapped her arms around Mallory and gave her cheek a sloppy kiss.
“Merry Christmas, sweetie,” Mallory said back, smiling at Pete as snow softly fell outside and Emma’s treasures twinkled on the tree and Mallory held the family of her dreams in her arms. “You and your daddy are the best present I ever could have asked for. I can’t think of anywhere I’d rather be but right here with you. I love you both so much.”
Pete kissed her, the caress full of passion and the promise of a lifetime of healing, discovering what came next, and dreaming of every magical tomorrow they could grab. He rocked her as they stood there holding his daughter, the three of them dancing now.
“Merry Christmas, my love,” he said. “Welcome home to Mimosa Lane.”
Dear Reader,
I love talking with readers, and with each new release, I do as much work with book clubs as possible. Time doesn’t always allow for as many appearances as I’d like, though. When my editor gave the green light for including a reader’s guide with Christmas on Mimosa Lane, I was thrilled that I could reach out to even more of my fans.
I hope to one day have the chance to hear your thoughts in person or via Skype so I can share my own about the layers and themes of this story. In the meantime, here are some tidbits to get the conversation started with others who’ve enjoyed the book.
Happy discussing!
Anna
Questions for Discussion
In Christmas on Mimosa Lane, love comes in many forms, and some of our favorite characters aren’t ready to trust it when their chance arrives. In the midst of the glitter of the holiday season, difficult realities and recoveries make the journey to and the joy of a satisfying ending so much more rewarding. Are there any darker themes that surprised you? What are the points of connection that lead Mallory, Polly, and Pete to the happily ever after they deserve?
Do you have a favorite scene in the story? What are the most emotional turning points for you?
There are so many themes and symbols to explore. How does the repeated imagery of things like the Trifari pins, make believe characters, the dazzle of pure white versus the starkness of midnight blacks or grays, and both perfect and less than ideal Christmas images affect your connection to the characters and their stories?
The novel is broken into three sections: wandering, staying, and healing. How do the characters change and grow throughout the book? Which parts of their stories speak most directly to you?
In what ways are Mallory and Polly a reflection of each other’s lives? What are the key scenes for you, where a character became another’s guardian, guide and voice?
How do the themes of mother-daughter relationships affect you as you read? Do you long to remember, forget, or reevaluate more of your own experiences with the mother figures who’ve influenced you?
Mallory, Polly, and Pete become a family, when the question of what it means to be a family, is what’s troubling them all so deeply. How many different family “units” do you recognize as you read? Which seem familiar to you, which challenge you to perhaps see your own relationships a bit differently, and do any make you long to reach for more in your own life?
It’s an interesting paradox—the interplay between what makes us feel safe and what challenges us to step outside our comfortable lives. What do you see pulling Mallory and the other characters out of their shells, compelling them to interact? How do their different lives and backgrounds merge to create an extended family that works by the end of the novel? Do you see elements of this interconnection working in your own life and community?
From the very first to the last scene in Christmas on Mimosa Lane, the past and present flow into and around and over each other. What memories from your past follow you into present day experiences? Do they enrich current experiences, or do they perhaps prevent you from appreciating moments as fully as you’d like?
Snippets of Emily Dickinson’s poetry were carefully selected to reflect the tone and theme of the chapters they introduce, and the growth of the central characters at various stages in the story. What are your favorite excerpts, and can you identify experiences in your own life that make these words ring true for you?
Acknowledgements
Some books require research and learning new things so you can write outside your comfort zone with some degree of authenticity. Others follow you around for years, swelling up from endless experiences and relationships and conversations and interests, making it impossible to pinpoint where they began and on whom to shine a spotlight as your inspiration.
With Seasons of the Heart I bring you the Deep South as more than a cliché. Southern communities and small towns are magical places. Down here, a magnificently confusing network of friends and frenemies evolve from merging your life with others. And southern families are as complex and challenging as they are heartwarmi
ng and beguiling. Set aside your desperate housewives expectations, y’all, and prepare to fall in love.
This is the world of my childhood, youth, and adult life. I’ve watched and at times felt lucky enough to be a part of the types of connections that spring to life in these novels—and I’ve always craved more. My editor said not long after reading the first few chapters of Mallory’s story that she wanted to live on Mimosa Lane. So do I, I assured her. So do I.
To all the flawed, fascinating, and surprising southern families, friends, and acquaintances who’ve from my first book fed my obsession to write and create—Thank you, and welcome home to Mimosa Lane.
DON’T MISS ANNA DESTEFANO’S NEXT “SEASONS OF THE HEART” ROMANCE!
As winter gives way to spring and spring to summer, a life-changing moment draws Samantha Perry deeper into her Mimosa Lane community—a world she has been hiding from for over a decade…
SWEET SUMMER SUNRISE
Coming Summer 2013.
About the Author
Anna DeStefano is the award-winning, best-selling author of more than sixteen novels, including Secret Legacy and To Save a Family. Her background as a care provider and adult educator in the world of crisis and grief recovery lends itself to the deeper psychological themes of every story she writes. With a rich blend of realism and fantasy, DeStefano invites readers to see each of life’s moments with emotional honesty and clarity. The past president of Georgia Romance Writers (GRW), she has garnered numerous awards for her writing, including winning the RT Reviewers’ Choice Award, the Holt Medallion, the Golden Heart, and the Maggie Award for Excellence. She has also been a finalist for National Readers’ Choice and Book Sellers’ Best Awards. DeStefano lives in North Georgia.
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