He did not respond.
Fine, she thought, unfolding her napkin and placing it across her lap. If he wants to give me the silent treatment, let him. Two can play this game.
She drank her coffee, juice, ate two slices of toast. Bryan remained behind his newspaper, ignoring her. When she had finished, she reached over and gently pushed down his paper and informed him of the decision she’d made during the long, haunted night. “I think it would be best if I went up to the house in the country for a few days.”
He glanced at her with only mild surprise, then, as he considered it, began to slowly nod, first to himself, then to her. “Yes, I think that would be wise, Jade. Take Lita and enjoy yourself. You need the rest, after all the work you’ve done on the studio. I’ll try to get up this weekend, but I can’t make any promises. Business is booming. Seems like everyone wants to get into yachting these days, and it’s getting harder and harder for me to get away.”
He went back to reading his paper and did not see the fire in her eyes as she resentfully contemplated him. She hated the way he treated her like a willful child, so indulgent, so patronizing. She hated that almost as much as she hated the way he was so smothering; she felt, at times, like a dainty Dresden doll whose only function was to sit on a shelf for people to admire. That’s what Bryan wanted her to be—an adornment—to him. He loved her, yes. No doubt about that. But he loved her as a child loves a toy. He wanted to play with her, then put her back on the shelf; or direct her like a puppet in a show, to entertain others, to make him look good—the proud owner of such a fine possession.
Even though she cared for him deeply, was grateful for all he’d done for her, Jade was not going to be his little mindless marionette.
As for what to do about Colt, well, that was one of the reasons she was going to the country—to sort out all her thoughts and decide the best course of action.
She went upstairs to pack, and it wasn’t long before Lita came in to happily offer assistance since she was ready to go herself.
Jade felt herself bristling, kept her back turned so the fury on her face would not be seen. She hated the way Bryan and Lita seemed to constantly conspire behind her back. Pretending not to know what Lita meant, Jade innocently asked, “Ready to go where?”
At once, Lita sputtered, “Why—why, to the country, of course. Mr. Stevens told me to pack my things, that you and I—”
“No!” Jade couldn’t keep the ice from her tone but still didn’t turn around, continued putting things in her valise. “You‘re staying here, to work at the studio.”
“What for?” Lita cried.
“To register students, of course. I certainly can’t have a grand-opening tea dance and then close the doors for a few days, now can I?” Pasting a pleasant look on her face, Jade turned. “Well, can I?”
Lita looked uncertain…and disappointed. “But Mr. Stevens said—”
“You don’t work for Mr. Stevens,” Jade curtly reminded her. “You work for me. He rehired you to take care of the house while we were away, and I let you stay on as a kindness, Lita, so you take your orders from me, and right now they are to remain here and keep my studio open daily.”
She turned back to her packing, could feel Lita’s burning gaze of belligerence. Finally, she heard her emit a furious sigh of exasperation, then stalk from the room.
Jade left the house immediately, knowing Lita would be on the telephone to Bryan to let him know what had happened. He might come rushing home to argue, and she didn’t want a scene.
By noon she was at the country estate, grateful to be alone. However, as was the custom, she sent Mr. Jenkinson, the caretaker, with a message to the Hayeses to let them know she was in residence for a week or more, extending to them an open invitation to visit. In turn, he came back with a formal invitation to a dinner party they were having on Saturday night. She accepted, not because it was expected, but because she genuinely liked Cornelia Hayes. She also told her housekeeper, Mrs. Jenkinson, that when she did the marketing to make sure she had provisions for tea should anyone drop by.
Jade drank in the solitude, the sweetness of the country-fresh air, the lassitude of the river rolling before the mansion’s sweeping lawn…but only in her waking hours did she experience such serenity. Dream time brought anxiety, unrest, for that was when Colt’s lost and lonely face swam before her, as though miserably reflecting that peace had escaped him for all time.
Jade spent much of her first two days in the countryside riding her bicycle, then decided to take out one of Bryan’s prize Arabian stallions. Though it had been a long time since she’d been riding, her early years of training served her well, and she was instantly at ease.
Reveling in the wind in her face, dappled sunlight teasing from leafy branches above, she rode the trails for endless hours. Now and then she would stop at picturesque bluffs overlooking the river, dismount and rest and contemplate her future in the whispery clouds of the cobalt sky.
Finally, after four days of soul-searching, she admitted to herself what she had known all along: she had to conduct her own investigation into Colt’s situation if she was to know any solace in her life. Bryan had forbidden it, but his opposition was not to be considered. In the long run, he would benefit most, because until she resolved whatever obligations she had to Colt’s welfare and well-being, she could not give herself completely to her marriage.
It was not, she truthfully acknowledged within, a matter of whether or not she still loved Colt. It would probably be ludicrous to think she could ever entirely lay aside the wondrous feelings she’d had for him. But he belonged to another now, right or wrong, illegal or legal, just as she did. And in Colt’s case, there was an innocent baby involved, and she was neither homewrecker nor heartbreaker. All she wanted to do, felt she had to do, was find out the truth.
Bryan sent word, along with his displeasure over her not taking Lita with her, that his work would keep him from joining her for the weekend. Jade didn’t really care, and after several days of solitude, except for conversing with the servants, welcomed the evening at the Hayeses.
It was a warm night, even though a slight hint of autumn was in the air. She chose a pale lavender gown of soft, thin velvet. The sleeves were capped, the lines of the dress delicately trailing down her chest to provocatively curve her bosom before dropping straight to the floor in the sleek Empress Josephine style she adored, though it was no longer considered high fashion.
Mr. Jenkinson drove her to the estate, and when she inquired from the Hayes butler as to when he could call for her, was told Mr. Hayes had said he’d see her home. She dismissed him, then went inside the beautiful house.
Cornelia was waiting in the foyer to warmly greet her, then draw her on into the smaller receiving parlor as she explained the dinner party was not large. Jade remarked worriedly that she hoped she did not unbalance her seating since Bryan could not come.
“Oh, no,” Cornelia was quick to inform her. “In fact, you balanced things—made a nice, even dozen. I had invited a young man who’s visiting his wife’s family’s home up here, but she couldn’t come with him because she just had a baby, and…”
It was as though an iron vise settled over Jade, shutting out all sound. She could no longer hear Cornelia Hayes speaking, for, as they entered the parlor where the other guests were sitting around on plush divans, sipping champagne, Jade was deaf and dumb to every sound and sight in her midst—except for Colt.
He stood as she entered, first among the other men, and he came forward, gray eyes shining with warmth.
“Jade, dear.” She felt Cornelia Hayes touch her arm, and she forced herself from her embryo of isolation to see that Cornelia was staring at her, bewildered by her sudden state of paralysis.
“I’m sorry.” Jade forced a laugh. “I was so impressed by the beauty of your home, as always, and I wasn’t listening.”
The pretense worked. Cornelia beamed proudly. Then she announced her and introduced the other guests, leaving Colt f
or last. “And here is our other solitary soul tonight, Mr. John Travis Coltrane, but his friends know him simply as Colt,” she affectionately pointed out.
He took her hand, lifted it to his lips, then softly said, “We’ve met. Mrs. Stevens kindly allowed me to attend her recital, and she was as beautiful a dancer as she is a lady.”
Jade realized he was devouring her with his eyes and caressing her with his voice. Afraid the others might notice, she drew back her hand quickly.
“It’s nice to see you again, Mr. Coltrane, and I’m glad I was able to keep you from being the odd man at the table.” She looked at Cornelia. “If I might have a glass of champagne, maybe I can catch up with everyone.” She prayed no one would see the way she was trembling.
Colt politely obliged, turning from her, and Jade immediately sought the company of another couple she’d met previously. When Colt returned with her drink, she thanked him, pointedly turning her back so he was not included in the intimate circle. She did not mean to be rude, intended, to speak with him later, in private, but she didn’t trust herself in front of these people.
Jade could feel Colt’s eyes upon her, like a hungry cat watching an unobtainable mouse. She winced when she heard one of the ladies inquire of him, “How are your wife and that precious baby?” His response was proud as he described how his son, although born early, was growing like the proverbial weed, cooing and laughing, the delight of his eye. She did not miss the cool, offhanded way he spoke of Lorena, merely remarking that she was ‘‘fine”.
At last a black-coated servant appeared in the doorway to announce dinner was served. Everyone began to move in the direction of the dining room, and Jade pretended to be absolutely engrossed in listening to Mrs. Wilhelmina Strover’s glowing account of a trip to visit her spinster sister all the way down in New Orleans, Louisiana. All the while she prayed she’d not be seated anywhere near Colt. Then she saw the place cards and knew it was not her lucky day: they were seated opposite each other. Oh, why was he here? she fumed inwardly. She knew she wanted to see him, talk to him, but at a time and place of her choosing…not in front of people who were always anxious to latch on to some new bit of sensational gossip about their social peers.
Her curiosity over why he was here was, somewhat assuaged when they were being served the appetizer, and she heard Cornelia say, “I’m so glad you let me know you were staying at the Vordane house, Colt. I always like to include neighbors in residence when I’m entertaining, but sometimes I just don’t know who’s about till it’s too late. Next time, perhaps Lorena and the baby can come, too.”
“Well, I don’t know about that,” he remarked as though it really didn’t matter. “Lorena likes to stay in the city, and I prefer the country.”
Someone, Jade was not sure who, asked him, “Have you started work with the Vanderbilts yet?”
She listened intently as she heard him explain that he wasn’t sure whether he would, because his headaches weren’t much better, and he really didn’t need the job anyway.
Cornelia leaned over to Jade to whisper, “Poor man. The way I heard it, there was a bad storm at sea when he and Lorena were on their way home from Europe, and he fell, took a nasty blow on the head, and ever since he’s had problems—dizzy spells, headaches. Such a shame. They were on their honeymoon, too.”
Hearing that, Jade could not resist asking Colt, “Where did you meet your wife, Mr. Coltrane?”
With a shadow of vagueness, he replied, “Paris. We met in Paris. We were married there.”
Jade was even more confused. He sounded like he was telling the truth, as though he actually believed what he was saying. But how could he think he’d married Lorena in Paris? Nothing made sense.
The meal passed in a blur for Jade, and then Cornelia directed them to the parlor for dessert and coffee. Jade maneuvered herself across the room from Colt, as far away as she could get, but still, he continued to watch her every move.
Finally, she decided it was late enough that she could ask Mr. Hayes to see her home without being rude. He nodded obligingly, and she bid her goodbyes to Cornelia and everyone else, then left to go and wait for the carriage at the front entrance.
A carriage drew up at the bottom of the steps. She took the arm of the butler as he politely aided her in getting inside. She was about to express her appreciation to Mr. Hayes for seeing her home when suddenly she gasped. It was not Mr. Hayes but Colt who held the reins.
“Why…” she asked in a feeble croak, hand moving to clutch her throat. “Why are you doing this to me?”
He popped the reins, guiding the team of horses quickly into the night lest she leap from the carriage and refuse to ride with him. “I want to talk to you, Mrs. Stevens,” he said woodenly. “I want to know why you’re afraid of me.”
“Afraid?” she echoed, then forced herself to lie, “But I don’t even know you.”
He turned to look at her, and she saw that his face, illumined by moonlight, was etched with misery and despair. “Afraid,” he repeated, “or angry. Whichever. I want to know why. What have I done to you in the past that I can’t remember? And I can’t remember it, you see…the past…”
For an instant, hearing the way his voice broke, Jade thought he was about to cry, but he quickly recovered, stiffly, to brusquely continue.
“I’m drawn to you, and I don’t know why. That first night I saw you, I thought you were the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen, and when you danced, a strange feeling came over me that I’d known you before. Then, when I saw you go out on the terrace and went out to introduce myself, you looked at me as if I were a ghost. You turned as white as one yourself. I’d like to know why.”
“I…I don’t know,” she lied, hedging, because she couldn’t be sure he was really telling the truth. Maybe Bryan was right. Maybe he did have an injury to his brain that had turned him into a lunatic. Maybe she was in danger. A sudden chill moved up and down her spine. She was alone with him, out on a remote country road. If he suddenly went berserk, there, was no one to hear her scream.
She was even more terrified when they reached a narrow dirt path that curved from the main road to an overlook where people went for the breathtaking view of the winding river below.
“Why are you stopping here?” she demanded. “I want you to take me home. Now!” She raised her voice.
There, in the quiet solitude, the moonlight spilling downward to paint them in an eerie silver glow, Colt turned to look at her, really look at her, as though trying desperately to see inside her very soul. And as he stared hard at her, Jade saw that something was happening in his eyes. A shifting. It was like movement in a subtle kaleidoscopic pattern that was composed of bits of smoked glass, all the same beautiful gray color.
And she knew. Beyond all doubt. In that instant, she knew that he was not lying, not pretending. In a small, choking whisper, she said, “You really don’t know who I am, do you?”
He shook his head. “And we aren’t leaving here till you tell me why I’m supposed to.”
Jade was flustered, confused, could not bring herself to tell him, did not dare. Not yet. Not until she had all the answers. “You have a wife, a son,” she said tightly, pointedly. “Don’t you think it a bit improper to be here, alone with another woman—a married woman, at that? Don’t you think we’re inviting gossip and scandal?”
He grinned, that lopsided grin that had thrilled her the first time it was directed at her. “I think you’d better know something, Mrs. Stevens…Jade,” he said with a curt nod of dared familiarity. “I may be married, but there’s some reason I’m drawn to you, and I think you feel the same way, though you’re scared to admit it. That’s why I had to see you again.” He told her that he had returned to the studio and learned from the woman working there that she had gone up to the Valley, so he had followed.
“I heard the Hayeses were having a dinner party tonight, and I figured you’d be there, so I got myself invited. And to answer your question, I don’t give a damn what peo
ple think.”
Oh, God, none of her resolves mattered now, Jade thought miserably. All those painful, anguished hours when she’d sworn never to think of him again, to push away for always and always the wondrous, soul-trembling memories of the happy moments they’d shared, the love that smoldered between them. No, none of those things mattered now, because he was here, sitting so close she could feel him against her…reach out and touch him if she dared, and it was Bryan who so rapidly faded from mind and existence. Suddenly she was reaching out with trembling fingertips…to actually touch the one and only man who had ever really and truly set her soul, and body, on fire.
Abruptly, with a moan deep and low in his throat, Colt pulled her against him, lips bruising hers with a searing kiss. Jade could not resist, did not try, and melted against him, reveling in the wonder she had thought lost to her forever.
When at last he released her, his eyes burned into hers, and his breath upon her face was hot, ragged. “I don’t know who you are, but I know I’ve kissed you before, held you before…made love to you…
“And, goddammit,” he swore fervently just before his lips claimed hers once more, “I’m going to do it again…”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
He drew her from the carriage, then took her hand in his and led her to a grassy knoll where night birds sang their plaintive melodies amidst the chorus of the whispering black river below.
He pulled her down beside him to the bed earth provided. The moon, as though endeavoring to give them privacy, discreetly slipped behind a silver cloud. A thousand diamond star shards twinkled their approval against the backdrop of a mystical velvet sky.
“I don’t know who you are,” Colt whispered, gathering her in his arms tenderly, possessively, “I only know I’ve loved you before…”
Jade made no protest, could not deny the cry of her heart. She felt no hesitation, no guilt, for this was the man to whom she truly belonged, and always would.
She wound her hands about his broad shoulders, caressing his skin, holding him close. His lips sought and found hers, and as they melded together in a burning kiss, his hands moved deftly to her clothing. Feeling an urgency, a desire unleashed she’d thought tamed by another, Jade worked with him till she was naked before him.
Love and Dreams: The Coltrane Saga, Book 6 Page 28