And therein lay his problem.
He didn’t want her to remember.
Because if she did?
Shana would walk, taking their baby with her.
* * *
Shana pushed herself up on the hospital bed, taking her time to be sure the room didn’t spin as it had the last time she’d tried. People were acting strange around her, and she wanted answers. Instead, she was stuck lying here alone with only a view of snow slamming down on the mountains.
Well, alone except for a nurse who’d been there since she’d woken up and hadn’t left her side, even when the doctors stopped by, doctors who’d been short of answers as to why she was here. Even her phone was missing and the remote control for the TV wasn’t working. The nurse said it would be fixed soon.
Shana touched her head, exploring her hairline. A small bandage was located just behind her ear. She’d been assured her long hair covered the shaved patch. The doctor had only told her she’d suffered a minor aneurysm, but that otherwise she was physically fine. Beyond that, they’d been cagey.
Thinking back, she tried to remember what had happened before she’d come to the hospital. The last thing she recalled was an argument with her mother over Shana’s refusal to reconcile with her father. Even thinking about the fight and her dad made her headache worse.
She knew avoidance when she heard it. Her work as a private detective had taught her all the signs. She also had a sixth sense for these things and trusted her gut.
Something was going on beyond what they’d told her.
Turning to the nurse, who was making updates on the dry-erase board in her room, Shana asked, “Excuse me? When will the doctor be back? I have questions.”
Being in limbo was scary. Her imagination was working overtime.
Just as the nurse opened her mouth to answer, a knock sounded and the door opened to admit a man. Not the doctor who’d been by to check her out when she’d woken. And even though it felt like a slew of staff had come through her room in the past half hour, she would have remembered this guy. He had an unforgettable face, movie-star quality in a rough-around-the-edges way. His light brown hair was just long enough to be mussed by a woman’s fingers, coarse hair that would rasp the skin.
A doctor? He didn’t have on a white coat. In fact, he was dressed more casually than any doctor she knew. He wore jeans and a long-sleeved T-shirt that bore the wrinkles of someone who’d pulled a long shift. But his sea green eyes were what held her attention in an unbreakable grip. The colors shifted with the icy intensity of a winter sea.
What crazy thoughts to be having right now, but the tug of attraction made her feel normal on a day that was entirely too abnormal.
“I appreciate that you’re all being thorough, but I need to get in touch with my mother. I just want to call her, and no one will give me a phone.”
Or a remote control. Or a mirror. Or answers.
Okay, this was getting really weird.
Strangely, the nurse left the room. Physicians usually kept a nurse with them for exams. Although the door had been left open.
“Your mother is on her way. She should be here tomorrow.” He stopped by the bed, large hands grasping the bedrail.
Before she could help herself, she checked his ring finger and found...
A wedding band.
Disappointment cooled the attraction. So much for drooling over Mr. Cover Model. She pressed her fingers to her forehead. She should be focused on more serious matters rather than this sexy distraction.
“Which doctor are you?” She settled on the reasonable question, a thousand more zipping around in her fuzzy brain.
“You should rest,” he said evasively. “You’ve been through a lot. Your body needs to recharge.”
“Aren’t you a doctor?” She massaged her temple. “Or an occupational therapist? I can’t recall. There were so many people in the room when I woke up.”
“I’m not your doctor.”
A nervous skitter started up her spine, like something shifting behind a mist, just out of reach. “Remind me who you are?”
“My name is Chuck, and I’m going to get your doctor.” He backed up a step. “Things are...complicated.”
“Well, Chuck, I’ve had people checking me and asking questions, but no one has been answering mine.” Panic rose inside her. “Tell me what’s going on, or give me a phone to speak to my mother. Why are you keeping her from me?”
“Your mother is flying in.” He held up a calming, reassuring hand that somehow only made things worse. “She’s not available to talk yet.”
A pit formed deep in her belly. The walls bore down on her.
Nothing was as it seemed.
This place was starting to feel like a jail, except the private room full of high-tech equipment and flowers was far too posh for incarceration. She needed to get her life in order, call her mom, check in with her boss about her caseload and an upcoming court case she would be testifying in.
“Then I guess that leaves you or the doctor to tell me, because lying here waiting is most definitely stressing me out.” She swung her legs out from under the sheet.
The room spun.
Chuck rushed forward and clasped her arm. His touch was at once both steadying and unsettling.
Her gaze went back to that glinting wedding band. The spark of awareness made her feel ill. Married cheaters were the worst. Her father’s deceit had left a wake of devastation. The room started spinning again but in a different way from having wobbly legs.
Something was wrong here. Very wrong.
“I need to know what’s going on and if you won’t tell me—” she reached for the call button “—then I’m going to find someone who will.”
He released her arm. “Okay, we’ll talk. There’s no agenda here other than looking out for your health. Any question you have, I will answer honestly.”
Alarms went off in her mind. When people said words like honestly and truthfully, that usually meant they had something to lie about. “I want to know why everyone is acting so strange around me.”
“The aneurysm has affected your memory,” he said slowly, carefully.
Her memory? The weight of that word hit her hard. “How so?”
“You’ve forgotten the past five years.”
His words slammed into her, adding a push to that merry-go-round feel in her head. “Five years? Gone. And we know each other?”
Even as her world spiraled, the confusion faded as the logical answer came together—his lack of a medical coat, his familiarity...and the wedding band.
Face somber, Chuck rested his hands on her shoulders, holding her gaze with his. “We more than know each other. I’m your husband.”
* * *
The horrified expression on Shana’s face was damn near insulting. Her gaze shot to his wedding band, then back up to his eyes.
Color drained from her already pale face. She sagged back down into the hospital bed, her blond hair splashing across the pillow. He wanted to protect her, to find some way to wrestle their problems into submission. Not that he’d ever had much luck with that. He needed to put aside his own feelings and focus on her. Focus on keeping her calm—and making the most of this time to heal the rift between them.
Shana thumbed her own bare ring finger. “Married? To each other?”
“For almost four years. Your jewelry was taken off when you were admitted to the hospital.” He tapped her ring finger lightly, the softness of her skin so familiar—and seductive. Even in the middle of the worst crisis of his life.
She had a beauty and fire that rocked even a hospital gown.
“You’re my husband? I... Why... What happened? This is, um, overwhelming.”
“I realize it’s a lot to absorb.” He pulled a chair closer and sat, taking both of her hands in his. “The doctor said the
memory loss could be temporary.”
“Or it could be permanent.” She didn’t pull away, but she did look at their clasped hands with confusion. “How long have we known each other?”
Those soft blue eyes turned hawkish, reading him like an X-ray machine. He nodded, clearing his throat. Determined to deliver objective facts. To not make this worse.
“We met nearly five years ago.” He watched her closely to gauge her reaction. He felt like he knew her so well, but also not at all.
How much of the essence of Shana would still exist with the memory loss?
Questions flooded his mind with too many potential futures to absorb at once.
“So my amnesia starts from right before I met you?” she said slowly, suspicion filling her eyes.
She was too astute. It seemed her private investigator skills were as honed as ever.
“It appears so,” he said, treading carefully through this discussion that was full of land mines. “I don’t expect you to take my word for anything. Talk to my family, talk to your mother, whatever you need to do to feel reassured.”
“You have family nearby?”
“I do. A large family. My mother and some of my siblings live in Anchorage, except for my brother, who’s closer to Juneau.” He shared the details carefully, watching for signs of recollection. Her amnesia could disappear at any moment and she would go back to tossing him out on his ass. “My mother recently remarried and her new husband has an even larger family, mostly local, too.”
“A big family is a blessing.” Her blue eyes shone with a pain he recognized.
Learning of her father’s hidden second family had wounded Shana deeply as a teen. She had three half siblings she’d never met. Her father’s betrayal had cut so deeply that Shana still had trouble trusting. Chuck knew he needed to keep that in mind now more than ever. If he made a misstep, this could go so very wrong.
But he couldn’t let her go, especially not now.
He would do what was necessary to protect Shana, and their unborn baby.
There’d been a time when they talked of having at least four children. Life had a different plan for them.
“Considering my family and Mom’s new husband’s family have been business enemies for decades, we weren’t sure about the blessing part at first. Family reunions are dicey, but it’s starting to shake out.”
“So you and I are happily married?”
Now, there was a loaded question. “We had our problems like any other couple,” he hedged.
The last thing he wanted to lead with was their hellish fight right before her aneurysm, a fight that had her hauling his clothes from the closet as she told him to move out. But the doctor had said to answer honestly. He could offer up part of their issues without tipping his hand. “We had been going through fertility treatments to start a family, and that put a strain on us.”
“But we were committed enough that we wanted a child together.”
“Want a child. Present tense.” He very much intended to be a full-time father to their child. If this pregnancy went well, Chuck would do everything in his power to be there for his kid.
“You have to realize I’m overwhelmed by all of this.” She threaded her fingers through her long, honeyed hair, over her ear, her eyes widening. “Amnesia? It’s something we all know about, but I never imagined it could actually happen to me.”
“Of course. It’s a lot. Take your time. I’m here for you, whatever you need, and I’m not going anywhere.”
“Thank you—” She frowned, pressing her temples.
“People call me Chuck,” he reminded her. “Or Charles.”
“What did I call you?”
The last time they’d been together, she’d called him a list of names better left unsaid right now. “You called me Chuck.”
“Thank you, Chuck.”
The way her voice wrapped around his name sounded as familiar as ever.
A tap sounded on the door. “Hello?”
A recognizable voice called out an instant before the door opened to the youngest of his siblings—Alayna.
The shiest of them all, she entered hesitantly. There’d been a time as a child when she was as talkative as the rest of them, but then she’d changed. Withdrawn. Telling her to leave would be like plucking wings off a butterfly.
But he’d hoped to keep his family out of this situation a little while longer until he could explain the amnesia to them. Alayna had a quiet way of slipping past people’s defenses. While the family probably hadn’t noticed she’d left, the staff here likely had been charmed and unaware she was supposed to be anywhere but here.
Hell, even he couldn’t find it in himself to be mad at her for caring so much.
Alayna rushed to Shana’s bedside and hugged her gently. “Thank goodness you’re awake. I’ve been so worried.”
Shana stared over his sister’s shoulder with wide, surprised eyes. “Uh, hello, thank you.”
Stepping back, Alayna sank into a chair. “I’m so relieved you’re awake, and healthy, and the baby’s okay. It’s a miracle.”
How the hell had she heard the news? And damn, he needed to say something quickly before—
Shana’s surprised look shifted to outright stunned.
“The baby?”
Two
A baby?
Panic and confusion rocked Shana, the young woman’s voice still ringing in her ears. She had a child as well as a husband? Her hand slid to her stomach, still flat. Surely there must be some kind of mistake.
Unless they meant a child that had already been born.
“We have a child?” Shana asked, her mind spinning. “How old? You say the child’s okay. Did something happen when I had the aneurysm? Was I driving a car or holding—?”
“Nothing like that.” He looked sideways at Alayna, who appeared even more confused than Shana felt.
Slack-jawed, the young woman—late teens, perhaps?—glanced back and forth between them. “I don’t understand—”
Chuck placed a silencing hand on the girl’s shoulder. “Shana, I’d hoped to share this more carefully, but here goes. You’re eight weeks pregnant.”
Air whooshed from her lungs. Her ears rang. She could barely wrap her brain around this latest shock. “It’s... I...um, I don’t know what to say.”
The young woman tugged on her overlong sweater nervously, tears welling in her eyes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to... Well, I’m just so sorry.”
Chuck slung an arm around her shoulders and gave her a comforting squeeze even though his eyes broadcast frustration. “Meet my sister.” He turned to the younger woman. “Alayna, Shana’s suffering from temporary amnesia and has forgotten about the past five years. You couldn’t have known. Although I’m curious as hell how you heard about the pregnancy.”
Alayna chewed her already short fingernails. “I thought... Oh my. I’m sorry. I was walking by the nurses’ station and overheard them talking about things for shift change... I’m really sorry.”
Chuck pulled a tight smile. “It’s going to be okay, kiddo. Shana just has some gaps in her memory. It’ll all sort out.”
Shana wished she could be as confident about that. She’d thought about being a mom someday, but this was too much too fast. Not that it seemed she had any choice in the matter. Her life was on warp speed.
Her father had wrecked her mother’s life. Shana had always known when it was her time to be a parent, the decision would have to be made slowly and carefully. If she and Chuck had been trying for a child, then their marriage must have been solid.
So why didn’t she feel like the love-at-first-sight lightning bolt had hit her? Lust maybe, but not love.
“Shana, I’m really sorry to have confused you or made things more difficult.” Fidgeting, Alayna ducked out from under her brother’s arm and stood. “I’
ll just leave, and we can talk another time when things are less, well, confusing. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
Or rather, she hoped it would be. Shana exhaled hard, unsure how she felt about carrying a child she couldn’t recall conceiving versus there being a child already in the picture, a child she also wouldn’t have remembered giving birth to.
Alayna held up a hand. “I really do apologize.” She backed away. “I love you to pieces, Shana.”
Standing, Chuck cupped Alayna’s shoulder. “If you could get coffee for me I would appreciate it.” He pulled a twenty out of his wallet. “Get something for yourself, too. Thanks, kiddo.”
Once the door closed, Shana pushed herself up to sit straighter in the bed, unsure when she’d sunk into a slouch.
Chuck rubbed the back of his neck, frustration in his eyes. “I apologize for not managing the news better.”
“How could you have predicted any of this? No one could.” An understatement.
“You’re being too understanding.” He sank back in the chair by her bed.
“Well, I do have some questions.” Even thinking about the possibilities sent a fresh wave of panic through her, but not knowing was worse. “The child is yours, right?”
“Absolutely yes,” he said without hesitation. “The baby is mine. And no, we don’t have any other children.”
She hadn’t even considered that. But what else didn’t she know? Five years was a long time to make significant memories. Life-changing memories.
“You said we’d struggled with fertility.” She chewed her fingernail. “There’s just so much to learn about what’s happened over the past five years.”
And her brain was on overload, weighing every nugget of information before she trusted the latest revelation. Even well-meaning people had private agendas. And she also knew how easily a person could be misled by someone smooth at lying. Her father had taught her that lesson too painfully.
“Then we won’t press any further today.” He covered her hand with his and held tight. “I would really feel more comfortable if we called the doctors back in and let them check you over or give us more guidance.”
The Second Chance Page 2