Lost for You

by BJ Harvey

  I hang up, wondering why the hell Evans would suddenly be so interested in my girl’s safety. He’s far from the perfect father figure; I wonder why he’s suddenly all about his family? First, he was telling me to give Sylvia a chance and how he’s been keeping track of her all these years, and now this. I shake my head and walk inside to find Shay and Devon waiting at the bar.

  “We off?” Shay asks.

  “Yup. Need to lose the cops, though. He’s at Evans’ safe house just outta town. He’s gonna send me the address and meet us there. I’m going now. You guys can either stay or come with me, but you better make your minds up now because I’m walking out the door and going to get my car.”

  They both nod and follow me out of the restaurant, leaving the police behind. Our sole focus is on getting Elle back and dealing with Gibbons, once and for fucking all.

  We run the three blocks back to the apartment building. I race upstairs and grab my gun, jacket, and car keys, then take the stairs two at a time until I’m in the basement parking lot where Devon and Shay are waiting for me by my car.

  “You okay, bro?” Shay asks, his voice laced with concern.

  “No, but I will be when I get her back. Let’s do this.” I unlock the car, and we all jump in.

  I check my phone for the address Evans texted me and turn the key; the V8 engine roars to life. I put the address into my GPS and pull out of the parking space, steering the car up the ramp and out on the road. I’m resisting the urge to gun it and speed off. We don’t want to attract any attention until we get Elle back and know she’s safe.

  Once we’re on the freeway, I put my foot down and floor it. My mustang jumps to life, and the speedometer jumps up to one hundred miles an hour in no time. The GPS says we’re forty minutes out. I think these are going to be the longest forty minutes of my life.

  I’m sitting in the passenger seat beside Brax as we speed towards some abandoned house in the middle of nowhere.

  “You gonna be okay, Brax? Dealing with this? Because D and I can go in and handle this. We’ll neutralize him and bring her out to you.” My voice is full of concern. I’ve seen Brax lose his shit before, and it’s never pretty.

  “I’ll be fine, Shay,” he replies through gritted teeth. I see his grip tighten on the steering wheel while he glances at the GPS again. We must only be a few miles out now.

  “Okay, I’m gonna call Victor and let him know what’s going on.”

  “You do that,” he replies deadpan. He’s not himself right now, and I completely understand why. I’ve been where he is. I know how he feels. Maybe that’s half the problem.

  “Boss, its Shay,” I say when he answers.

  “What’s the situation?” his gruff voice reverberates through me.

  “Gibbons is hiding out at one of Evans’ safe houses. We’re headed there now, probably only five minutes out.”

  “And how the fuck did that prick Evans get involved?”

  “From what I understand, Gibbons rang him a few days ago asking for help.”

  “Fucking hell. Okay, I can’t do much from down here, but you call me if you need anything,” he states firmly. “And Shay, keep Brax in check. You know as well as I do that he’s likely to lose it when you get there.”

  “I know. I’m on it. Devon’s here too. Will update you when I know more, okay?” I say.

  He murmurs in agreement. “Sounds good, Shay. And for god’s sake, be fucking careful.”

  I end the call and put my phone back in my pocket. I need to have it close in case shit hits the fan.

  “It’s just over that rise,” Brax says, pointing ahead of us. He pulls the car off to the side and turns it off.

  “What’s the plan?” he asks, turning towards both of us.

  “You’re asking us?” Devon replies as he leans forward from the back seat. “B, this is your call. The whole takedown is up to you. The way we play it, and the way it ends, bro.”

  Devon’s words mimic the thoughts racing through my brain. This is not just another job. It’s not like any other take down we’ve been involved in. Hell, Devon’s probably used to situations like this more than Brax and I put together.

  “We need to leave the car here and go the rest of the way by foot. He’ll hear the car if we go any closer. One of you can run back and grab it if we need to get Elle out of there quickly. Devon, you take the front, and Shay, you and I will check out the side and back. Have your guns ready, but don’t you dare fucking shoot anywhere near Elle. We don’t know if he’s alone, so we have to presume that anyone we come across could be working with him. Understood?” Brax looks at both of us for confirmation.

  “Sounds good,” I say, looking straight at my best friend. I can see the tension in his face. He’s operating on pure adrenaline right now. I can only hope that we can get in and out as quickly and painlessly as possible.

  For everyone’s sake.

  Stalking up to the driveway of the house, I see a faint light coming from a front window. It’s the only light in a sea of darkness. I hear my boots crunching on the gravel driveway, and cringe at the noise I’m making. Shay is at my rear as we move around the side of the crap shack. I can only imagine the type of people Evans sends here. My body shudders at the thought of this filth even getting close to Elle.

  Reaching the back of the small building, I make out the silhouette of a dark Sedan. My nerves are shot, and a nagging voice in my head says that I need to let Shay take the lead in this. I’ll lose my head the minute I see Elle. If she has even one little scratch on her, I’ll maim the son of a bitch slowly. And with great pleasure.

  I hold my hand up to stop Shay’s retreat. I can hardly see anything, but thankfully the moonlight allows a little sight.

  “I need you to take the lead,” I whisper to him. I see his shadow nod as I move out of the way. I take my right hand and reach to my holster sitting on my left hip. My shaky hand grips the butt of the cold steel. It gives me a small amount of comfort; the knowledge that with one quick draw, I can end this if I want to. I can end him.

  “You ready, B?” Shay murmurs.

  “Just fucking get on with it. She needs us,” I spit out just as Shay’s size twelve boot kicks in the rotting wooden door in front of us, the crack of splintering wood filling the air. He barges through the doorway, gun drawn, pointed straight at Gibbon’s head as he advances on him.

  “Stay where you are, you piece of shit!” His words are venomous, full of hatred for the desperate man standing in front of him. Gibbons’ hands are both up in the air, feigning surrender. I scan the room, quickly finding Elle curled up in the corner on a rusty metal bed, facing the wall. I can see her whole body shaking. Knowing Shay has my back, I stuff my piece back in the holster and rush to her side.

  “Wait there, hon. I’ll get your arms free first,” I say softly. Her hands are bound together tightly behind her back, her pain obvious with every movement. I pull out my utility knife from my pocket, cutting through the ropes and freeing her hands. She shuffles herself around until she’s rolled over and I can see her face.

  I see red.

  Anger grips my throat as I see the whole right side of her face is grazed and bloody. It may have been cleaned up, but she looks a mess. Devon chooses that moment to bust through the front door with his shoulder, making a grand appearance and startling Shay. Gibbon’s sees his chance and moves to grab his gun. Jumping to my feet, I run straight into him, tackling him around his waist and knocking him on his ass and sending his gun scattering across the floor.

  Then I lose it. I start pummeling his face, my knuckles crunching into his cheek, his nose, his skull. I can’t stop myself. He double crossed all of us. He had the fucking balls to kidnap Elle from right under our noses. All of my anger from the past few months bubbles to the surface. Hearing Elle’s sobs and pleas for me to stop can’t snap me out of it. The pain spreading up my hand doesn’t stop me. Even Shay putting his hand on my shoulder, his silent command to stop, doesn’t work. Devon steps in and pulls m
e away, finally breaking through my murderous haze.

  I look down at the bloody unconscious body of Gibbons beneath me and spit on him. He’s worth less than the shit on my shoes.

  “Bro, walk away,” he says calmly.

  I shake my head violently. There is no room for calm in this situation. Calm left the building three hours ago when he first laid his hands on my girlfriend.

  Standing over him, I know what I have to do. I reach for my gun again, pulling it out and pointing it directly at Gibbons’ head.

  I’m staring at a double crossing piece of shit; a man so desperate that he’d cross two of the most formidable criminals in the country, Victor and Evans. My conscience is having the battle of its life inside of me. The little devil and angel that sit on your shoulders are no longer friendly; they’re fighting each other tooth and nail.

  Realizing what is happening, Elle screams behind me, “No, Brax!”

  “Dude, think about this,” Devon says quietly from beside me.

  Fuck!

  “Brax, please don’t,” I hear her pleading voice say. “Baby, you can’t come back from this. He’s worthless, he’s nothing, but he’s not worth throwing your life away.”

  My hand drops down to my side, still gripping the gun. “He hurt you, Elle. He took you from me. It’s my job to protect you from scum like him!”

  “He didn’t hurt me too much, I’m just a bit roughed up from falling over outside. It was all about the money. He was desperate for money,” she implores as she starts to cry again. Her eyes bore into me, anticipating what I’m about to do and pleading with me to reconsider.

  I’m stuck, smack bang in the middle of wanting to do the right thing, and following my gut instinct. It’s a conundrum I never thought I’d have to face, especially in front of the woman I want to spend forever with.

  “Darlin’, I need you to go with Shay and get well away from here. I need to deal with him alone,” I say, not taking my eyes off him.

  She runs in front of me, taking a brief look at Gibbons’ beaten limp body lying on the ground before lifting her hands up and cupping my face. Looking at me through wet eyes she gently brushes her bruised lips against mine. I wince from the pain radiating through my jaw. I’ve got to give it to him, that bastard has a good left hook. But even that pain can’t deter me from the beauty who is standing in front of me; a beauty who should never be touched by the dark side of life.

  “Babe, I need you with me. I don’t need to spend the rest of my life only seeing you on weekly visits while you rot away in a jail cell,” she says shakily.

  Dammit.

  “Elle, I need to deal with this. Go with Shay, and I’ll be straight behind you, ok?” I plead with her. “I’ll be right out, darlin’,” I say quietly, leaning down to kiss her soft wet lips again before kissing her nose, then her forehead. I look over her shoulder to Shay, lifting my chin, to tell him to take her now before I change my mind.

  “C’mon on, babe, let’s get you back to the car so I can check you over. That cut on your head looks nasty.” He takes a step towards her, gently grabbing her shoulder as I move away from her, out of her reach. She doesn’t need to see what happens next. Hell, if I had my way she wouldn’t have any knowledge of this man at all.

  I hear the door close behind us. Now it’s just Devon, Gibbons and me, and if I have my way, there will only be two of us walking out of here.

  “So how are we gonna play this, bro?” Devon asks, breaking through the eerie silence that has filled the room.

  “Right now, I wanna wring his fucking neck, rough him up a bit since he felt it was okay to do that to my girl, and then I wanna break him, limb from fucking limb,” I spit out, staring at Gibbons limp body lying on the floor in front of me.

  “You sure about this, B?”

  “No! That’s the fucking problem! I’ve done a lot of things in my life that I’m not proud of, but killing a man is not one of them,” I reply exasperatedly. Looking around this dark windowless room that Elle has been held captive in, I can’t even imagine how scared she must have been. I start pacing, trying to rid my mind of the dangerous thoughts swirling around it.

  Even when her parents and sister were killed, she wasn’t touched by the darkness that the murderer had in him. But over the past three hours, she has experienced enough desperation and helplessness to scar her for a lifetime. Even if it takes everything I have to give, I’ll dedicate my very being to getting her past this whole ordeal, hell, everything bad that has ever happened to her. I want to be that for her.

  We scoped it out for all of a minute before storming in, guns blazing. This time I was packing, and I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m not afraid to use the piece of cold metal that is burning my skin on my hip. My trigger finger is aching to be used; to hurt this piece of shit who felt he could abduct Elle and hold her for ransom in this dirty, flea infested pit of a house in the middle of nowhere. This kind of filth should never have touched Elle, never have gotten close to her, and that’s on me.

  Devon speaks up behind me. “B, you know what we have to do.”

  “Nope, not gonna go there.”

  Devon sighs loudly, kicking Gibbons when he starts to groan. “Look, we don’t have long. The cops will be on their way already. You wanna end this? We gotta do it now. You wanna walk away? You get out now so that none of this comes back on you.”

  I snap my head up, squaring my gaze on my brother. I know what he’s not saying, and it shocks me. Eight years I was out of his life, too chicken shit to call him because I thought he was tainted by our father. Eight years I lost out on this. “D, I can’t ask you to do this.”

  “You’re not asking, and I’m not offering. I’m saying there are things that have to be done. You have a beautiful woman waiting at home for you. She loves you more than her own life. She has no one except you and Shay. Let me do this for her, for you, and for the life you can give her. A happy peaceful one. The life she deserves.”

  “Well, well. Looks like I missed out on all the fun,” a low familiar voice bellows from behind us, breaking the tension filling the room. Devon and I turn towards the voice, and come face to face with Michael Evans, the paternal anti-christ himself. He’s dressed in a white dress shirt and black slacks, a bow tie lying limply around his neck. He looks like he just walked out of a high society function to come here. He’s every inch the debonair, millionaire, crime boss.

  And he came alone.

  But for all his faults, he is standing here. Putting himself on the line.

  I wondered what it would be like, the moment I came face to face with my scum bag sperm donor again. I knew it would be tense, and that I’d be consumed with the hatred I felt for the man. But in that precise moment, I actually felt relief. If anyone can talk Brax out of making the biggest mistake of his life, it will be the mastermind himself.

  “Brax, put the fucking gun away, son. You’re not a killer. You never were. You don’t have it in you,” he states vehemently before swinging his gaze towards me. “Devon, you need to get him the fuck out of here. The police are five minutes out, tops. You don’t need to violate your good behavior bond for this piece of shit,” he says, pointing to Gibbons’ writhing body on the ground.

  “Whatever you’re gonna do, I don’t want to know about it. I don’t wanna see it, and there’s to be no blow back on either of us. Capiche?” I say sternly. “Brax does not need to suffer like I did just because he’s had the misfortune of carrying your blood.”

  The fucker’s eyes actually soften and I start losing my resolve. For the first time in over ten years, I see a glimpse of the proud, loving, responsible father that I grew up with. The one who taught me how to throw a ball, who spent an hour with a baseball mitt while I practiced my pitches for little league, the man who once loved my mother.

  I shake my head in frustration. That isn’t the man standing in front of me. That man was lost years ago.

  “Get out of here, both of you!” he yells at us. “I’ll clean this up. No
w go!” The bellow of Michael Evans reverberates around the room.

  I grab Brax’s arm and drag him towards the door. “Run, bro. We gotta get Elle out of here,” I say as we run in the direction of the car.

  Two gun shots echo throughout the night air behind us. We don’t stop to look back, we don’t need to, but the sirens we hear in the distance tell us that we need to leave now.

  I wake up just as the car comes to a stop. “Sweetheart, we’re home,” I hear Brax softly say from above me. I roll in his lap, my head resting on his thigh, his hand tangled in my hair. He hasn’t taken his hands off me even once since he got back into the car and told Shay to ‘Get the fuck outta here.’

  He hooks his arms under my shoulders and knees and gets out of the car, carrying me like I’m light as a feather. He hasn’t smiled once since he got back into the car. Whatever went down in the cabin after I left is obviously haunting him. You can see it in his cold glassy eyes, the furrowed brows, his defeated posture. The only time I got a glimpse of the Brax I know was when he shifted over in the back seat beside me and laid my head in his lap, stroking my hair ever so gently, over and over.

  There were no words exchanged for the entire drive home. I didn’t ask what happened when Shay took me out of that room, or ask who was in the black town car that turned up just as we reached the Mustang. And I really didn’t want to know who shot the gun that we heard booming through the night.

  Shay and Devon lead us up to the apartment, opening the basement and then our apartment door so that Brax doesn’t have to put me down. Brax doesn’t stop walking until we reach our bathroom. I’ve been watching him the whole time, his face showing no emotion. He sits me down on the vanity, making sure I’m steady before walking into the shower and turning the water on.

  He comes back and stands in front of me, reaching his arm above his head to pull his t-shirt off over his head in one smooth movement. I see how swollen his knuckles are from punching Gibbons. Grabbing one of his hands, I bring it to my mouth and softly kiss each knuckle, then look back up at him. He cups my face, stroking his thumbs slowly across my cheeks.