Maybe never.
Her breath caught in her throat.
Suddenly she found herself on her feet. She had to get out of there. She slid out to the aisle and disappeared into the parking lot of the church.
Where she found herself staring in horror at a waiting hearse.
Alexei’s hearse.
The one that would take him to the cemetery, to his grave.
His real grave.
Where he would stay, forever.
No.
That’s not real.
That can’t be real.
Ava sank to the curb and let the tears finally begin to fall. She pulled off her sunglasses, finally letting her eyes adjust to the light. Behind her tears she could feel the now familiar burning sensation, just as she had ever since Istanbul.
She knew what she looked like: regular old Ava, except impossibly changed. Everything was different, and not just her broken heart. Her pupils sparked with a pulse of blue light that she couldn’t explain, ever since the O.P.U.S. had detonated. And that wasn’t the only change…
You’re gone, Alexei.
You left me, and now I’m alone with all this.
It’s not fair.
va didn’t know what any of it meant, and she didn’t know how she was going to face it—whatever it was—without him.
She only knew she had to try, for both of them.
“You never think anyone you actually know will be riding in one of those things, do you?”
It was a friendly voice.
A stranger’s.
Ava hurriedly wiped her eyes, startled.
She looked up to see Dante Cruz sitting on the curb next to her. His dress shirt was rolled up at the sleeves. His jacket was off. His eyes were red. He had been crying. When he saw her face, he looked as surprised as she did.
“It’s you,” Dante said. “What are you doing here?”
“What?” Ava was flustered.
She tried to compose herself, but her heart was pounding. She had nothing to say to Alex’s friends, especially not this one.
Not in real life.
I never got to be in his real life.
“I’m Alex’s friend Dante. Dante Cruz. And you’re the girl from Philly. The one Alex was crushing on at the tournament,” Dante said.
Of course.
That’s all he knows.
She was relieved. She was heartbroken. “I’m Ava. Ava Orlova. And I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“No, you do. I recognize you. You were the one staring at Alex. The last time I ever saw my best friend.”
Ava didn’t know what to say. “I didn’t—”
“I told the police about you when he disappeared. I tried to get them to look for you. I even described your face to a sketch artist at the precinct. Nobody turned up a clue.”
“It wasn’t me.”
“Then why are you here?”
“Alexei and I were friends. I—I’ll miss him too.”
Dante looked skeptical.
“Alex. His name is Alex. You could at least get his name right.” Dante sounded annoyed, and it caught Ava off guard.
He looked at her. When he did, he seemed every bit the son of a police captain. His eyes were dark, and the look on his face seemed to demand the truth.
“Fine. All right.” Ava shivered. “I might have been there in Philly.”
But he had already known, and he didn’t need for her to tell him. Now he just shook his head. Ava shivered. “Just tell me one thing, Ava. If you hadn’t come for him at the tournament, if you hadn’t caught his eye—would my best friend still be alive?”
Ava couldn’t answer him. She couldn’t say it. She couldn’t face it.
Not to Dante Cruz, of all people.
He was more a part of Alex’s own family than even Natasha herself had ever been. The tears burned their way to the front of her eyes again.
You know it’s my fault.
Of course it’s my fault.
He would still be alive if he hadn’t met me.
If I hadn’t dreamed him.
If Natasha hadn’t stalked him.
If I hadn’t lived inside her head, every step of the way.
Everything that happened was because of one of us.
Natasha and me.
The two people who loved him more than anyone.
“I thought so,” Dante said bitterly. He stood up, leaving her alone on the curb. “I have to get back in there. I have a coffin to carry and a best friend to bury.” His eyes were dark. He slung his jacket over his shoulder.
“I’m sorry,” Ava said miserably. “I miss him so much.” Dante looked at her, but she couldn’t stop the tears now.
She didn’t try.
S.H.I.E.L.D. EYES ONLY
CLEARANCE LEVEL X
LINE-OF-DUTY DEATH [LODD] INVESTIGATION
REF: S.H.I.E.L.D. CASE 121A415
AGENT IN COMMAND [AIC]: PHILLIP COULSON
RE: AGENT NATASHA ROMANOFF A.K.A. BLACK WIDOW, A.K.A. NATASHA ROMANOVA
TRANSCRIPT: DEPARTMENT OF DEFENSE, LODD INQUIRY HEARINGS.
DOD: What do you expect me to say?
ROMANOFF: My expectations are appallingly low, sir.
DOD: I can’t decide if you should be suspended or incarcerated.
ROMANOFF: What I deserve is not the same question as what should happen.
DOD: Because of you, a kid is dead.
ROMANOFF: You don’t have to tell me that.
DOD: Duly noted. But you alone are responsible for your actions, Agent. Start acting like it.
ROMANOFF: I always do.
DOD: Any last words?
ROMANOFF: It’s not what I have to say that matters. It’s what I have to do.
DOD: Which is?
ROMANOFF: With all due respect, what happens now is none of your business.
DOD: Are you finished?
ROMANOFF: No. Screw you. Sir. Now I’m finished.
DOD: That’s the understatement of the century, Agent Romanoff--and even that is probably an understatement--[rustling] Agent? Where are you going? You can’t just walk out on a federal--
S.H.I.E.L.D. ACADEMY OF OPERATIONS
ADMINISTRATION BUILDING
Natasha Romanoff strode through the main entrance to the Academy, brushing the snow from her black leather jacket.
She found herself stopping only in front of the Wall of Valor, the clandestine agency’s carved-stone memorial to its own fallen.
She caught her breath when she saw his name. It was like seeing her own gravestone.
ALEXEI ROMANOFF.
She traced the letters with a black-gloved finger, leaning her head against the stone.
It’s been what, almost a year now?
You’re aren’t gone.
You’re laughing. You’re learning how to ride your bike. Chasing a balloon at the frozen Moscow Zoo. Playing with a dog who jumps as high as your head.
Her eyes closed.
Did any of it happen like that? Our childhood? Was any of it real, outside of the Red Room? Will I ever know?
What have they left me of my own?
And what of theirs is still buried deep in my mind?
“Surprised?” Coulson spoke up from behind her.
Natasha opened her eyes, startled. She jerked her head away from the wall. “I wasn’t expecting it. He wasn’t an agent. Not yet.”
“He would have been a great one. He certainly showed he had what it takes. And who knows how many lives he saved in Istanbul.”
Natasha nodded, finally forcing herself to turn away.
“And Ava?”
“Come on. I’ll show you.”
Natasha peered through the window of a nondescript door in a nondescript hallway. “Does she ever talk about it?”
“Not unless she has to.”
“But it’s not holding her back?”
“If anything, it’s pushing her forward. She’s the top of her class in every single subject, Agent Romanoff.
”
Natasha looked at Agent Coulson. “And her…condition?” She didn’t know what else to call it—the mysterious blue electricity that had radiated from inside Ava, ever since the O.P.U.S. had exploded in Istanbul. She had gotten the worst of it, being closest to the blast radius.
If Alex had lived…
“Ava hasn’t lost her spark, if that’s what you’re asking.” Coulson nodded. “We still don’t know much. We’ve let her experiment in the labs, though. She’s rigged a couple of old fencing blades she had—now extendable and retractable. They seem to help her channel her power.”
Alexei’s blades. Natasha thought. The ones I gave her. So I’m not the only one who can’t let him go.
She only nodded. “And?”
Coulson shrugged. “Let’s just say, I’d hate to be the guy on the other end of that attack.”
“And you’ve been monitoring her yourself?” Natasha asked.
“And you’ve been monitoring her yourself?”
“I drop in and out, as promised. But it’s not just me, you know. She still talks to the cab driver’s daughter. I think the girl takes care of Ava’s cat.”
“Oksana.”
He nodded. “And Ava gets the occasional call from Tony Stark. Apparently he likes to tell her jokes.”
Natasha rolled her eyes. Who knows why Tony Stark does anything?
“Anything else?” she asked.
“A letter now and then from a kid named Dante Cruz. He was—”
“My brother’s friend. I know.”
Natasha watched Ava make her way up the sheer face of a climbing wall, her ponytail bobbing behind her. She looked weightless almost. Limitless. Nothing was holding her down now.
As if the wall in front of her was the only thing that mattered, the only thing she had to think about.
She doesn’t seem almost a year older. She seems almost a year younger.
“Go on,” Coulson said.
Natasha pushed her way inside.
A dozen Academy students—male and female—were suspended on cables, rappelling down from the soaring gymnasium ceiling.
Ava spun on her cable, sizing up the targets around her. She kicked up her boot and slid her sidearm into her fingers, taking out the surrounding targets without blinking an eye.
A perfect score.
“It was only then that Natasha realized Ava hadn’t fired a single bullet. The Glock she was holding was still crackling with the tell-tale blue light. From the looks of it, the weapon in Ava’s hand had worked like an EMP device, discharging the girl’s own energy. She might as well have been Zeus, firing lightning bolts from the sky.
Natasha raised an eyebrow.
“See what I mean?” Coulson smiled.
Natasha kept her eyes on Ava. “She’s sparky all right.”
A horn sounded, and the remaining cables dropped to the floor—dropping their recruits right along with them.
Ava raised her fist with a triumphant shout. “Yes!”
Natasha stared up at her. The girl with the cinnamon ponytail. It was hard to believe she was the same person. “She’s ready?”
“She’s something,” Coulson said. “It’s only been eleven months, but like I said, top of her class.”
“And the nightmares?”
“A little better. Not gone, though. She needs a family, Agent Romanoff. A support team, something more than a friend. Maybe you could help?”
“I don’t have any family,” Natasha said automatically.
Ava didn’t notice Natasha standing there until the other students began to whisper excitedly. Natasha Romanoff was the Black Widow, and at S.H.I.E.L.D.’s academies, the Avengers were more than celebrities.
They were heroes.
Ava looked over and caught her eye. Something close to a smile crept to her lips.
Then she kicked off from the cable, flipping forward—rotating three hundred and sixty degrees—just as she had off the bridge in Philly.
Only this time without Alex.
Natasha watched from the ground. The moment wasn’t lost on her; neither was the message.
I’m here. I’ve got this. I know what I’m doing.
I’m not a child, anymore. That girl is gone.
As Ava dropped to the ground in front of the agents, her not-quite-regulation Academy jacket came into view. It was white Kevlar, long sleeved, high collared, and form fitting. From the looks of it, it was an old fencing jacket, taken apart and re-sewn to fit like a glove.
When Ava turned to pick up her water bottle, Natasha felt her heart stop. It wasn’t just any jacket she was wearing. It was Alexei’s. Faded regulation lettering still spelled out the name MANOR across Ava’s back.
As the girl crossed the floor toward her, Natasha saw the familiar design hand-stitched and brightly emblazoned across her chest. Two red hourglass shapes that crossed, forming four bright red triangles that met together in the middle.
Natasha smiled, pointing at the red symbol.
“So, Red Widow, eh? How’s the name sticking?”
Ava shrugged. “I’m giving it some time.”
“Yeah? How much time do you need?” Natasha held up a set of keys. “See, I’ve got this plane, and S.H.I.E.L.D.’s got this base in Rio, and an old friend of mine’s got this nasty little situation brewing in South America…”
“And?” Ava raised an eyebrow.
“And I owe him. And, of course, I could use the backup. Or at least, you know, the vacation.”
Coulson looked surprised.
Natasha smiled. “What do you say? Want to help me get a little red out of my ledger—Red Widow?”
Ava shrugged. “If you want,” she said finally. Playing it off.
Like looking into a mirror, Natasha thought. She might as well be my shadow. She smiled. “Go get your stuff. I’ll meet you outside.”
Ava looked hopefully at Coulson.
He nodded, and she disappeared out the doors before he could change his mind.
Smart girl.
By the time Coulson walked Natasha to the front doors of the Academy, she could see Ava standing outside in the evening snow, next to a gleaming red Harley and a duffel bag full of what Natasha suspected would be old spy gear.
Shivering.
Coulson nodded toward the motorcycle. “New hog?”
Natasha shook her head. “Tomorrow’s Ava’s birthday. That’s her present.”
“Ah.” Coulson smiled. “Well I hope this time you remembered a card.”
Natasha pulled a card out of her pocket.
He felt in his pocket for a pen. “I happen to have a 1956 Montblanc fountain—”
“Already signed and everything.” Natasha shrugged. “I used a Sharpie.”
He laughed. “Go easy on her.”
Natasha looked at him.
He sighed. “Fine. Go hard.”
She reached for the door.
Coulson grabbed her arm. “She may not be your brother, Agent Romanoff, but she’s still the closest thing you’re ever going to find to a sister. Maybe even a friend.”
Natasha pulled open the door. Then her mouth twisted into something close to a smile. “You know, it’s emotionally complex, Phil.”
“Is it?” He smiled. “I’d say that’s a start, Natasha.”
“Well, it’s not the end,” she answered. And with that, she walked out into the snowy night.
S.H.I.E.L.D. EYES ONLY
CLEARANCE LEVEL X
LINE-OF-DUTY DEATH [LODD] INVESTIGATION
REF: S.H.I.E.L.D. CASE 121A415
AGENT IN COMMAND [AIC]: PHILLIP COULSON
RE: AGENT NATASHA ROMANOFF A.K.A. BLACK WIDOW, A.K.A. NATASHA ROMANOVA
TRANSCRIPT: DEPARTMENT OF DEFENSE, LODD INQUIRY HEARINGS.
NOTE IN FILE: TEXT LOGS – SECURE TEXT.
Director’s Note: What follows is the first existing file attributed to case 121A415.
COULSON: Agent Romanoff, are you available for a mission? Director Fury wants you to fly this
one solo.
ROMANOFF: Kind of busy. New puppy.
COULSON: Wait--you got a puppy?
ROMANOFF: What do you think?
COULSON: Right. We need you in Odessa w/in 12. MI6 has new intel on some old SVR we’ve been tracking.
ROMANOFF: Target?
COULSON: Think of it as a chance for you to reconnect with an old friend. Ivan Somodorov.
ROMANOFF: I have as many friends as I have puppies. Be there in 6.
COULSON: It’s never too late to make friends, Agent Romanoff.
ROMANOFF: It really is.
COULSON: You can call me Phil, for example.
ROMANOFF: Romanoff out.
PRIVATE ARCHIVES: BLANK SLATE
HIGHLY CLASSIFIED
FROM: Romanoff, Natasha
TO: Romanoff, Natasha
WITNESS: Coulson, Phillip
I, NATASHA ROMANOFF, DO SWEAR THAT ON THIS DATE <
I, NATASHA ROMANOFF, DO ASSERT THAT BOTH MY BROTHER AND MYSELF AGREED TO THIS PROCEDURE IN HOPES OF HIDING THE SOLE SURVIVING MEMBERS OF OUR FAMILY FROM THE RED ROOM.
I, NATASHA ROMANOFF, DO PASS LEGAL GUARDIANSHIP OF ALEXEI ROMANOFF TO S.H.I.E.L.D. DIRECTOR PHILLIP COULSON FOLLOWING TODAY’S PROCEDURE. ALL FINANCIAL TRANSACTIONS WILL BE CLEARED THROUGH THE ROMANOFF FAMILY ESTATE, AS ADMINISTERED BY PEPPER POTTS.
I, NATASHA ROMANOFF, DO AFFIRM THAT I FACILITATED THE PROCEDURE VIA PRACTICES ADOPTED DURING MY RED ROOM TRAINING IN BLACK WIDOW OPS.
I, NATASHA ROMANOFF, DO ALSO AFFIRM THAT I SWORE DIRECTOR COULSON AND MS. POTTS TO SECRECY, EVEN FROM MYSELF.
I, NATASHA ROMANOFF, DO AFFIRM THAT THIS IS MY WILL AND TESTAMENT.
SO HELP ME GOD.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
As I’ve said before, being asked to write this book was probably the greatest honor of my life. I’ll never forget the moment I got the call from my agent, Sarah Burnes, who had just herself gotten the call from my future editor, Emily Meehan. I was in Italy, in bare feet, standing on the balcony and holding a tomato. I mostly remember saying, “Tell them I’d do it for free,” though to Sarah’s credit, she ignored me.
Long before that moment—and this one—so many people have had a hand in bringing Natasha Romanoff to the world. Stan Lee (along with Don Rico and Don Heck) first introduced the Black Widow in 1964, but she’s had many, many writers and artists since then, and they’ve all been a huge influence on this project. I’m a particular fan of Marjorie Liu and Daniel Acuna, as well as Nathan Edmondson and Phil Noto, edited by Ellie Pyle. Amazing work has also been done by Natasha’s creative teams at Marvel Studios under Kevin Feige, along with Joss Whedon, Jon Favreau, Anthony Russo, Joe Russo, Zak Penn, Christopher Markus, Stephen McFeely, Ed Brubaker, and Justin Theroux, who have given the Black Widow a wider audience and a brighter spotlight.
Black Widow: Forever Red Page 28