Joseff’s mouth curved. “I stand corrected. As I’ve never been on another road trip, this one has taken the top spot by default. …And it will obviously retain the title for decades to come, because I’m sharing this fun-filled and not at all annoying journey with my beautiful queen.”
“Aw, you always know just what to say, sweetie.” Darcy praised. “When prompted.”
“It’s still the truth.” Joseff assured her.
Several zombies managed to scramble their way onto the running boards. They looked like they might have been fast food workers, their uniforms splattered with blood and grease. Leaning forward, they tried to break through the windshield, their fists banging against the glass. Darcy swerved the wheel, knocking them loose and sending them careening onto street. The truck roared over them, never slowing down.
“Which way do I turn up here?” Darcy asked casually. “I can’t tell through the smoke and zombies.”
“Left.” Zeke and Scotlyn chorused.
They both could’ve found TGW blindfolded. Zeke realized that he was actually glad for an opportunity to see the golf course again. That tacky, irritating, rundown business would always have a huge place in his heart. It had brought him to Scotlyn. A part of him regretted that he’d never again go into the office and see her frowning at him from behind her desk.
Of course, a much bigger part of him was happy that now Scotlyn was smiling at him and sleeping with him and prepared to marry him.
“I’m going to miss Topless Golf a little bit.” Scotlyn murmured and he knew she was thinking along the same lines. It didn’t surprise him. For all their differences, he and Scottie were surprisingly in sync about the important stuff.
Zeke sent her a teasing grin. “Even Mount St. Hot, Hot, Hot?”
“No, not that horrible monstrosity, which you were too cheap to fix and which made an endless racket.” She gave him a smile. “But, I have mostly good memories of working there.”
He caught hold of her palm and raised it to her lips. “All of my memories are good ones.” He paused. “Well, except for the part where I lived in a constant state of fear that you’d quit and I’d be left desolate and alone.”
“And the part where you worked at an X-rated miniature golf course.” Joseff intoned.
Caleb nodded. “I’m with Bram Stoker, for once. X-rated miniature golf, Z. Take a step back and think about that.”
“I wanted to theme it to fairytales, again.” Scotlyn said virtuously. “Zeke was the one who kept all the naked statuary.”
“We were in the black.” Zeke insisted. “Why mess with a concept that worked?”
Brewer made a face. “I just can’t believe that no one told me Zeke owned a place where topless chicks played golf. Why am I always the last to know the real news?”
Scotlyn scowled at him. “That’s not the kind of topless that Topless Golf…”
“Shit!” Darcy slammed on the brakes, narrowly avoiding a sixteen wheeler turned on its side. Zeke caught himself on the dashboard, while Cale and Brewer were tossed into the wall. He had no idea what the truck was doing there, but it was blocking the entire intersection like a barricade.
As soon as the fire engine skidded to a halt, the zombies were on them. They came in waves of jerking, grasping, scrambling death. Dead eyes stared at them through the windows. Fingernails scratched at the metal, trying to claw their way inside. Gore encrusted teeth gnawed at the door handles.
“Super.” Caleb pulled himself to his feet and reached over to engage the lock. “What was I saying about how much this idea sucked?”
“Oh shut-up.” Zeke turned to Darcy. “Get us around this. We can backtrack and go towards the freeway. Come at it from the other side.” That was the route he and Scotlyn had taken the first night of the zombie invasion.
“That’s where the fire is.” Scotlyn reminded him. “We can’t go that way.”
“Well, we’re not going back. Not now. We’re only one street away, Trix!”
“Ladder.” Caleb said calmly.
Zeke whirled around to face him. “What?”
“We’re in a fire truck. It has to have a ladder. We use it to get up on that roof.” He pointed to the blacked rear shell of a tattoo parlor. “The golf course should be just on the other side, right?”
Scotlyn’s eyes widened like she was too flabbergasted by the idea of going outside to even vocalize her horror. Hopefully, it stayed that way for another couple minutes because she was going to throw a fit about this plan and she usually won their arguments.
“Getting to a roof doesn’t get you to the map.” Joseff reminded them.
“No, but I can figure it out from there.” Zeke grabbed the manual from him and began searching for some kind of ladder instructions, only to hesitate when he came across something even more interesting. “Hey, what are the odds that there’s still water in this thing?”
“Given the way it corners?” Darcy snorted. “A hundred percent. Why?”
Zeke shrugged. “Well, the bad news is, this kind truck doesn’t have a ladder.”
Caleb rolled his eyes. “What kind of firemen don’t have ladders?”
“Apparently the kind that get hydraulic water cannons on their trucks instead.”
Chapter Seventeen
Bright side to the zombie apocalypse:
You don’t need to pay that gym membership to stay in shape
Zombies didn’t like getting wet.
That was the kind of firsthand observation you could only pick up in the trenches of the zompocalypse. Three thousand gallons of water and some kind of foaming fire retardant sprayed out of the high-powered, roof mounted nozzle. It blasted the zombies away from the truck like tin cans caught in a tornado. Most of the remaining creatures scurried backwards, shifting from foot-to-foot and eyeing the truck in undead alarm.
“Joseff, I soooo want one of these for Christmas.” Darcy called happily.
“Of course.” Joseff agreed like he was already planning how to fit it under the tree.
Zeke ignored them and smiled at Scotlyn. “See? I told you the water cannon would distract the zombies.” He popped the roof hatch and climbed up. “I’ll be back in a second.”
“Don’t you dare go out there!” She shrieked. “Jesus, this is the worst idea you’ve ever had!” She rounded on Caleb. “Do something!”
“Goddamn it.” Caleb sighed, following his brother. “I could be touring in the Grand Canyon right now.”
Scotlyn had no idea what that meant and she didn’t care. “Brewer, watch Pucci.” She ordered and clambered after them.
Zombies were scaling the sides of the fire engine, their fingers grasping at her ankles as she dashed along the roof. Even with hose going full blast, it wasn’t going to hold them back for long. She watched as Zeke and Cale took running jumps off the end of the truck and grabbed hold of a rickety looking air conditioner poking out of a window. From there, they boosted themselves up onto the building, high above the fray. No human could’ve done it, but they weren’t human.
Neither was she.
Scotlyn raced forward and leapt after them, forcing herself not to hesitate.
…And completely missed her target.
“Shit!” She obviously needed to work on her superpowers, because she misjudged the distance. Scotlyn slammed into the side of the building and plummeted straight towards the writhing zombies. Her hand reached up, trying desperately to grab onto something…
A strong palm locked around her wrist like a manacle.
She looked up, her feet dangling above the outstretched arms of the zombies. Zeke was leaning waaaaay over the side of the roof, holding onto her like she was his lifeline. He must have thrown himself forward to catch her. Of course he did. The man was a crazy, heroic lunatic. If she fell, he was going with her. There wasn’t a doubt in her mind.
Purple eyes burned into hers. “Whatcha doing, Trix?” He asked calmly.
Scotlyn let out a long breath. “Helping you?” It came out like a
question.
Zeke arched a brow. “Thanks.” He lowered his free hand so she could grab it and pulled her up beside him. “Couldn’t have done it without you.”
Since he’d just saved her life and all, Scotlyn decided to forego punching him. Instead, she wrapped her arms around his neck and held tight. “Nice catch.” She whispered.
He kissed the side of her head. “You can’t get away from me that easy, baby.” He herded her towards Caleb. “If you’re going to be here, stay behind me, alright?”
“You’re always saying that.” Scotlyn hurried after him. “And anyway, I can help. First, to keep an eye on you and also because you have no idea what a Louis Vuitton handbag even looks like.”
“Sure I do. Your purse is brownish with --like--letters on it.”
Caleb overheard that description and made a “God help me” sort of sound. “It’s hopeless, Scotlyn. The man wears socks with sandals.”
“Only when my feet get cold.”
The three of them headed over to the opposite side of the roof and looked down at the street below for a long moment. Topless Golf World was directly in front of them, but it was swarming with zombies. They lurched around the parking lot and chewed the statues on the miniature golf course. It looked like a few of them had even gotten inside. She could see movement inside the main office.
“God, I really don’t like zombies.” Scotlyn muttered. It was horrible to see TGW infested with monsters.
Zeke reached over to give her hand a squeeze.
“Where’d you drop the purse?” Caleb asked, trying to see it through the hoard of undead bodies.
Scotlyn pointed towards her Vespa, which was still parked near the front door. It seemed like a million years ago that she’d driven it to work. “Over there. Zeke’s SUV was only a couple spots over from me.”
“Right.” He looked at Zeke. “So now what?”
“Now, I go down there and get that damn map.” He was quiet for a beat. “We just need a distraction first. Something that will draw some of the zombies away from the parking lot, so I’m not bogged down.”
“Jesus, what’s taking so long?” Joseff demanded, coming up behind them. “We’re going to run out of water down there.”
Caleb flashed him a glower. “Did you come up here to nag us?”
“I’m being supportive, dickhead.” Joseff retorted. “You told me I was a part of this team, didn’t you? It’s obvious you’re stymied and, in times of crisis, team members pitch-in and bond… or whatever.” He waved a dismissive palm. “Besides, Darcy says I have to lend a hand. So, what have you bungled this time and how can I fix it?”
“Fuck off.” Zeke and Caleb chorused.
“We can’t get to the map until we get rid of some of the zombies.” Scotlyn explained, trying to avoid a rooftop feud between her in-laws. “We need a distraction.”
“That’s easy. The fire engine has a siren.” Joseff shrugged. “God knows, Darcy’s been dying to try it. That should work to get their attention.”
“Do it.” Zeke ordered. “If you can thin the herd a little, I can do the rest.”
“See? Teamwork is so much simpler when I’m here to lead you.” Joseff checked his watch like he wanted to be sure they weren’t falling behind schedule, and headed back towards the truck. “Just hurry it up, boys.” He called. “The city is still on fire.”
Caleb made a face. “Is it too late to uninvited him to the team?”
Still, Joseff did his part. A moment later, the fire siren sounded in a circular whhrrrr of sound punctuated by eeee-awwww-eeee-awwwws at regular intervals. Zeke grinned as the zombies started shuffling towards the noise. Sound drew them. Like a school of salmon, they moved away from TGW in mindless unison. “Bingo.” He stood up. “Wait here, baby.”
Scotlyn quickly got to her feet, hating this plan. “I’m the one who lost the purse. I can go down there and get it. Since it actually belongs to me, it makes a lot more sense than…”
“No.” Zeke said flatly.
“Yeah, but…”
“No.” He gave her a quick kiss and pressed a gun into her hand. “You’re our backup.”
“But, I’m a terrible shot.”
“Good point. In an emergency, aim for us, so you’ll be sure to miss.” He headed towards the edge of the roof, yanking off his shirt as he went. “Don’t worry. I’ll be right back.” He kicked off his shoes and unbuttoned his pants. “Cale?”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Caleb began stripping. “You know, I’m imaging some beautiful Arizona sunsets, right now.” He handed his Armani jacket to Scotlyn. “Guard that with your life. I’m pretty sure my tailor was eaten, so it’s irreplaceable.”
“Wait a second, you two aren’t really planning to…”
Yep. They were.
Caleb and Zeke jumped right off the side of the building, their bodies Changing as they dropped. Two wolves hit the ground, Zeke solid black and Cale snow white.
Scotlyn’s lips parted in astonishment. The zombies still outnumbered them dozens to one, but the shifters had the advantage of much sharper teeth. The zombies’ bites couldn’t turn them, but the wolves’ bites could sever limbs.
And they did.
Caleb and Zeke went tearing through the ranks of the undead. The zombies’ human bodies fell under their attack. Countless hands grabbed at the wolves’ fur, trying to hold them, but the brothers kept plowing forward. When one of them got hung-up, the other was there to get him free. Together, they kept the zombies from pinning them down. They made it to the parking lot, bloodied but mostly unhurt.
Zeke headed straight for the spot where he’d parked the SUV. Caleb was right behind him. They cleared a swath big enough that Scotlyn could see the strap of her purse still lying on the asphalt in front of them. They were going to make it.
…Or they would have, if the werewolves hadn’t showed up.
Scotlyn gave a cry of alarm as three enormous monsters burst out of TGW. They must have been the shadows she saw moving around in the office. They looked like sasquatch and she could smell them from across the street, so Scotlyn recognized them from her fiancé’s colorful description. The werewolves threw themselves at Caleb and Zeke, intent on killing them.
Okay, this definitely counted as an emergency. She had no idea what she could do offer backup, though. There was no way Scotlyn could shoot the werewolves at this distance. Damn it, she’d told Zeke she was a terrible shot! How was she going to get close enough to help them?
Her eyes fell on the power lines stretching across the street. If only she’d stuck to that diet, maybe she’d be small enough to go hand-over-hand like a monkey and reach TGW’s roof. Then, she could…
Wait.
Scotlyn’s head tilted as she realized she could go hand-over-hand like a monkey.
She was shape shifter, now.
***
Fucking hell.
Zeke let out a savage roar as the werewolves attacked. He had no idea why they attacked, but it didn’t really matter. They clearly wanted Cale and Zeke dead and they were even more dangerous than the zombies.
The gigantic creatures were seven feet tall and covered in shaggy hair. Except for not having trunks, they looked more like two-legged mammoths than wolves. Not surprisingly, werewolves didn’t blend into the human world. In fact, they really were the basis of the Big Foot legend. As a result of hiding in forests for centuries, the werewolves had learned to be sly and sneaky to survive. They were the fucking masters at ambushing their prey.
Three of them surged out of the office, catching Caleb and Zeke off guard. They shoved through the remaining zombies, their huge bodies crushing human-sized bones like twigs. The biggest of the werewolves headed for Zeke. Given that he had the element of surprise and weighed three times what Zeke did, this was probably going to hurt.
A lot.
Zeke braced himself for impact.
Caleb hurled himself between them. His body shielded Zeke’s, but it put Cale squarely in the werewolf’s cross
hairs. Powerful hands seized Caleb and sent him flying through the front window of the office in an explosion of glass.
Zeke’s heart stopped.
He ripped into the nearest attacker, uncaring if it was a werewolf or a zombie. His mind was a blur of panic. He raced for his brother, leaping through the shattered window and into the office.
Caleb had landed on the other side of Scotlyn’s desk, out cold.
No, no, no.
Zeke Changed back into his human form, not even stopping to thinking about the danger it put him in. He couldn’t help Caleb if he was a wolf. He raced for the coffee machine, grabbing the container of salt he kept beside the sugar and creamer. Scottie had always looked at him like he was crazy for storing it there, but it was damn handy to have around. He bounded over the desk, dropping to his knees beside his brother. “Cale?” He dumped half the bottle into his brother’s mouth. “Cale!”
Caleb gasped awake, his eyes popping open like he’d been hit with a cattle prod. “Shit!” He wheezed. “I could really use a cigarette, right now.”
“This is pointless, shifters.” The biggest werewolf ducked through the broken window, followed by the others. Zeke recognized them as Ranger, Tanner, and Val, some of the werewolves’ top killers. “You can’t take on all three of us.”
Zeke got to his feet. “What the hell are you doing in my golf course?”
“We followed the woman’s scent from the Coney Island. Once we realized she was yours and that you were headed this way, we figured you might come back here.” Ranger gestured around TWG. “Nice place, by the way.”
“You’re after Scotlyn?” Zeke asked blankly. “Why?”
“And they call werewolves stupid.” Ranger rolled his eyes. “Her blood, you frigging idiot. That asshole scientist is squawking about how her blood can inoculate the humans. Do you think we want that? Do you think we worked with those AHA bastards because we wanted them to live?”
Zeke’s eyebrows soared as the ramifications of that statement hit him.
Love in the Time of Zombies Page 22