Sullivan hesitated, surprised that he’d almost said that out loud.
“Another private question?” She guessed when he remained silent. “Damn it, is it really that hard for you to share anything?” Teja was the one who came up with the rules, but she somehow made it sound like Sullivan was being unreasonable for following them.
His jaw tightened in frustration. “As a boy, comic books offered me an escape.” He heard himself say.
Teja glanced up at him, an odd expression on her face. “An escape from what?”
Sullivan turned away. “My father and I didn’t get along.” He said shortly and moved into the living room. Going into work seemed like a bad idea, but it was weird not to be getting ready. There were always a ton of domestic calls on Christmas. “Did you check on your cousin Freya, yet?”
“She’s still asleep. Or out cold. However you want to split that hair.” Teja gave a distracted shrug. “She’ll be fine.” She followed him, looking more determined. “Sullivan?”
“Yeah?”
Teja took a deep breath. “Did you… feel anything last night?”
Sullivan turned to look at her incredulously. “Did I feel anything?” He echoed.
She made a face at him. “Not just physically. Did you feel anything with your powers?”
“I don’t have any powers.” How many times did he have to tell her that?
“Except you do and they didn’t link with mine.” She squared her jaw, like she was about to rip off a bandage. “Our energies should’ve connected. They always connect when you’re with your Match.”
It didn’t take a psychic to see where this was headed. “So, now you don’t think I’m the right guy for you.” Sullivan translated. The sinking feeling his stomach made him glad he’d skipped the raw cookie dough for breakfast. He’d known this would happen, but it still burned. “I’m a human, Teja. There’s nothing I can do about that.”
“You’re not just a human. You’re an Elemental. If you can’t Phaze with me, then I’m not your Match. That’s just the way it works.”
Sullivan crossed his arms over his chest. “I never said I was your Match. You said that.”
Teja didn’t appreciate that comment. She somehow managed to look like she was the injured party. “I’m not blame for this. I’m the one who’s been pushing for us to Phaze, all along. You’re the one who’s been insisting that it wouldn’t work.”
Sullivan arched a brow. “Yeah, and seems like I was right, wasn’t I? I knew this would happen.” He’d tried to hold back everything he could from her, anticipating the heartbreak, but it still hurt like hell. “I kept telling you it was a mistake to get involved, but you wouldn’t listen.”
“You’re just a fucking genius, I guess.” She snapped. He had the weird feeling she was angry at his response. Teja studied him, like she was trying to read his mind. “Do you want to say anything else?” She prompted when he stayed quiet.
Sullivan shrugged, not looking at her anymore. He’d expected her to leave and now it was happening. Only a lifetime of not belonging to anyone kept him from begging her to reconsider. Hell, it was almost a relief to get it over with so quickly. If this didn’t happen now, it would just happen later and hurt even worse. Sullivan was used to be alone. It was safer.
“What would you like me to say?” He asked instead. “You told me that you don’t want me to be your boyfriend or whatever. I expected that, so…
“Why did you expect it?” She interrupted, looking increasingly enraged by his calm acceptance. “I just don’t understand what’s going wrong here. Fire Phases always know their Match. I still look at you and know you’re mine. But, you don’t even seem to care. What do you sense that I don’t?”
“I just always knew it would be a mistake to get attached to you.” Sullivan said truthfully. “I knew you wouldn’t stay.”
Teja ran a hand through her hair. “Why would you think your own Match would leave you? That doesn’t even make any sense. Matches always stay together.”
“You’re leaving right now.”
“Because, I’m not your Match! That’s what I’m trying to tell you. You’re mine, but I’m not yours. It’s rare, but it happens.”
“If you say so.”
She kept trying to convince him. Or maybe herself. “Your energy didn’t connect with mine, which must mean you have an actual Match out there. Someone who’s probably looking for you. Someone who feels things, and who isn’t frozen inside, and who can give you what I can’t.” She rubbed at her temple. “Rule Five of being a Fire Phase says I have to protect my Match from everything, even myself. So, I’m doing what’s best for you and letting you go find her.”
Sullivan knew that there was no one else out there for him. All of his instincts told him so. Still, he nodded at Teja, because it was better than making a fool of himself and telling her she was the only one he’d ever want. “Fine.” He agreed, shortly.
Teja blinked, surprised out of her martyrdom. “Fine?”
“Fine. I’ll find someone else.” He just wanted her to stop talking and leave him alone to be… alone.
Teja’s lips pressed into a tight line, looking even angrier than before. “Fine. Find someone else, if you want.”
“Fine, I will.” But that wasn’t what he wanted and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it.
“Fine!” Teja shouted. “And when you do, try to be more open with her than you have been with me. It’s fucking annoying when you talk and reveal nothing.”
She was giving him dating advice now? Sullivan’s temper sparked. He’d been trying to deal with their inevitable break-up in calm and dispassionate way, but the woman was out of her mind. She was tearing out his goddamn soul and leaving him alone with nothing and she wanted to lecture him on the importance of communication?
He got to his feet. “Because you’re such a fount of information, right?” He snarled. “What exactly have you been expecting me to reveal? You flat out told me that you didn’t want any emotions between us, Teja. You said you didn’t want to share.”
“I don’t have emotions!” She bellowed. “You’re supposed to, though.”
“Oh, I’m feeling things. Believe me.”
She shook her head. “I swear to Gaia, I’m starting to think that you deliberately didn’t Phaze with me. I think it’s a human thing. You’re somehow controlling your powers, because you don’t want me for a Match. You’re a human, and humans can choose, and you don’t choose me!”
“So, it’s my fault, now.” He gave a harsh laugh. “Very convenient for you.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means that you have been terrified of knowing me since the first moment we met. You’ve wanted me gone and, now that you have the opportunity to walk away, you’re twisting it all around so you’re acting heroically and I’m the bad guy.”
“That’s bullshit.”
“You’re scared and we both know it. That’s what this is about. This energy thing is just the first excuse you could latch onto.”
“That is bullshit!”
“Tell yourself whatever you want.” He turned away, before he said something he couldn’t take back. Rarely had his emotions been this frayed. Everything inside of him was screaming that this was wrong. That she wasn’t supposed to go. Teja was his. “What are we even arguing about? You already said you’re done, right?”
“Maybe I am, but you never even started, so you can’t be done.” She retorted. “You think I’ve been scared? At least, I fucking showed up! I’ve admitted that you’re my Match. You were preparing for the end before we even began. You didn’t put anything of yourself into this relationship.”
“What have you put into it?” He retorted, even though Teja had a point. He’d always known that she was a temporary flame in the frigid wasteland of his life. Kingu had been right the night before. What would happen if you started to rely on the heat and then it vanished? Wouldn’t the cold just be ten times more oppressive th
an before?
“I’ve put plenty into being your Match, Sullivan.”
“You started off telling me that you felt nothing for me and never would, remember? All that’s changed is that now we’re wanted criminals and you don’t like having sex with me.”
“Of course, I like having sex with you, you moron! That’s not the point. Your energy…”
He cut her off. “Stop with the goddamn energy! Focus on reality for a minute.” He jabbed a finger in her direction. “You’ve said and done fifty-thousand weird things to me, but I’ve gone along with it, haven’t I? I’ve been the easiest going guy in the world, as matter of fact, because I wanted to be with you. So, you trying to blame me for this mess is ridiculous. You’re the one who’s had an eye on the exit since day one.”
Teja stared at him. “You went along with it, because it’s not real to you.” She sounded like she was piecing things together. “I’m not real to you. You said yourself that you never saw this as lasting. You never thought that I’d stay with you.” She blinked. “You really don’t trust me, at all.”
“I don’t trust anyone. Don’t take it personally.”
Her head tilted to one side. “Do you believe you’re my Match?”
Frustrated as he was, Sullivan didn’t want to insult her. “I believe that you believe it.” He temporized.
She seemed stunned. “Sullivan, did you even try to Phaze or…?”
The doorbell rang before he could answer that. Teja glowered towards it. “Who’s that?” She demanded. “The Council’s going to be looking for us, you know. You can’t invite people over.”
“I seriously doubt intergalactic bounty hunters would use the bell.” He headed over to check who it was and then unbolted the lock. “See? It’s just my secretary, not Boba Fett.”
“You’re…?” Teja stopped short as she saw Randa through the glass partition in the door. Her eyes narrowed. “Randa, of the Stone House is your secretary?”
“Her last name is ‘Goldrush,’ according to her W-2.” He opened the door. “Hello, Randa.”
“Chief Pryce.” As usual, Randa looked like a down-on-her-luck Jackie Kennedy. Good breeding and perfect bone structure, under a layer of baggy clothing and lost dreams. “I’m glad to see you’re safe. I’ve been concerned.”
“That’s thoughtful of you.” He muttered distractedly. Randa was always professional and she seemed wary whenever they weren’t in a public space. If she’d come to his house looking for him, he could only imagine the rumors she’d been hearing. Sullivan gestured for her to come inside, because whatever she had to say it had to be better than listening to Teja dump him some more. “I’ve been having a strange couple of days.”
“So it seems.” Randa had never been in his home before. She looked around the antiseptic décor with obvious approval. “This is very clean.” She headed for the sofa, ignoring Teja. “Now, are you alright, Chief?”
“He’s fine.” Teja said sharply.
Randa glanced at her and then turned back to Sullivan. “Some Phases came to the station looking for you. I told them I hadn’t seen you since you went out for tacos. I strongly hinted they should try Mexico.” She arched a brow. “I got the distinct feeling that they wanted to arrest you for something.”
Going for tacos seemed like a lifetime ago.
“There was a bomb in the Cold Kingdom.” Sullivan explained with a sigh. “Hopefully, you know how the Elemental justice system works, because I might need a lawyer.”
“Oh dear.” It was impossible to rattle Randa, but she did frown. “Well, we’ll have to clear that up for you. It shouldn’t be difficult. No one could ever believe that you’d do anything nefarious. I’d be happy to testify that you are --by far-- the most honorable man I know.”
“Isn’t that sweet.” Teja sneered and leaned a shoulder against the wall. “Of course, considering some of the men you’ve known, it’s not such a ringing endorsement. Didn’t your last lover try to end the world, Randa?”
“Parald wasn’t my lover.” Randa said flatly. “He was just the man who locked me in a cell. When someone tells you to sleep with them or they’ll kill you, you sleep with them. That doesn’t mean you like it.” She arched a brow. “Only the Fire House turns kidnapping into a dating service.”
“We just kidnap our Matches. No one else.”
“Then explain why you took Chief Pryce hostage. Some Phases may blame him for this, Teja. Did you even consider that? He’s popular, but there are still anti-human bigots out there.”
Sullivan felt the need to defend Teja. God knew why. “That wasn’t her fault. She thought I was going to be her Match, but it didn’t work out.”
Teja flashed him a glare. “Because you’ve been sandbagging my efforts.”
He scowled back at her, pissed off that she was still blaming him for ripping out his heart. “Maybe my emotions are frozen.” He snapped. “That excuse means I never have to feel anything, right?”
Teja didn’t appreciate that crack. “You know, I’ve been wondering why you’re being so difficult towards me.” She looked pointedly at Randa. “Maybe it’s because you have the Stone House’s most famous beauty queen waiting in the wings.”
“Even if that weren’t epically wrong… what the fuck do you care?” He shot back. “You just told me to find a new girlfriend, didn’t you?”
Teja’s jaw set so tightly it was a wonder her teeth didn’t crack.
Randa squinted. “Wait… Teja’s your girlfriend? Elementals don’t have girlfriends.”
“Girlfriend. Match. Whatever you want to call it, we broke up. In fact, I’m not even sure we were ever together.”
“You weren’t saying that last night.” Teja retorted.
“Last night you hadn’t told me that I wasn’t good enough.”
“I never said that!” She shouted. “That’s a complete lie and you know it, Sullivan. You’re twisting everything around, so I’m the one being unreasonable.”
“You are fucking unreasonable! You’re obsessed with energy, which I don’t have!”
“Of course you have it! You don’t want to share it with me!”
Randa looked more confused than ever. “Teja, what exactly have you been telling him?”
Teja flashed her a distracted look. “I told him the truth. He’s my Match. Then we tried to Phaze, but he won’t even attempt to…”
Randa cut her off in an unusually agitated tone. “Did you explain what being a Match means, though?” She persisted.
“He knows what it means! He just doesn’t care.”
“He’s saying you’re his girlfriend. That’s not the same thing, at all.” Randa turned back to Sullivan. “What does Phazing mean to you?”
“Sex.”
Teja glanced at him sharply.
“So you can Phaze with more than one person, do you think?” Randa pressed.
Where the hell was this going? “Yeah. I guess.” He felt like he failing a test of some kind. “You do it with everyone you sleep with, right? Your Matches or whatever.”
“What?!” Teja sputtered.
Randa sighed, her attention on Sullivan. “You can have lot of Matches, then?”
“Of course.”
“So when you ‘break up’ with one…”
“Then, you ‘renounce’ them and move on to someone new.” He sent Teja a pointed glare. “Which she’s trying to do, right now.”
Teja slowly shook her head. “Sullivan, no. No to all of that. Have you gone crazy?” She didn’t seem to know where to begin her complaints. “To start with, Phazing isn’t just sex.”
Sullivan frowned. “Nia told me that it was.
Teja made an aggravated sound. “The fucking Water House is always trying to undermine everything…”
“You must have misunderstood Nia.” Randa interjected. “It’s hard for humans to conceptualize, but Phazing is more than just humans exchanging DNA. Ideally, it’s an act that connects two people. Their separate energies become one whole. It can o
nly happen in a Phase-Match, so it’s very sacred to Elementals.”
Sullivan hated meta-physical bullshit. “Uh-huh.” He looked over at Teja. “Can you translate that?”
She looked pale. “I thought you understood this. You only have one Match. You don’t renounce them unless their evil or you’re crazy. You only get one person and they are everything to you.”
“It’s a marriage, Chief Pryce.” Randa interjected. “A Phase-Match is what Elementals consider marriage. Even without Phazing, Teja sees you as her husband, not her boyfriend.”
Sullivan blinked once. Twice. “Oh.” His mind emptied of every rational though.
...And before he could think of single, intelligible thing to say, Sullivan found himself standing in Teja’s memories.
Chapter Thirteen
Far be it from me to say that in more elemental times such things could not have been.
Bram Stoker-“The Lair of the White Worm”
Two Years Before: Day Four of the Fall
At the end of the world, everyone was entitled to get a little drunk.
Even the folks with sticks up their asses.
Zakkery, of the Smoke House looked around the Earth Kingdom’s tavern and smirked without any real humor. After Job’s endless moralizing, Zakkery got a perverse satisfaction out of seeing so many of the Earth King’s faithful subjects drowning their fears in liquor bottles.
Job was the High Seat of the Council and the leader of the Elementals. He loved to pass judgment on the lesser beings. Yet, this was the last bar operating in the entire realm, which was why Zakkery had been forced to come here. All the other pubs had been abandoned, the alcohol stolen from the shelves and consumed by the gallon. But, the Earth House tavern partied on.
Anyone not inebriated or in a state of catatonic shock from the events of the last four days, seemed to be praying. As the plague tore through the Elemental realm, churches became the only spots that still drew a crowd. The reality of impending death brought out three main reactions in the populous: Foggy disassociation, desperate reverence, or hedonistic freedom.
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